5. Jensen
FIVE
JENSEN
Trepidation shadowed Lyric, both in the tightness of her features and the way she hunched her shoulders. I tried not to pay attention to how much she was fidgeting with the cuff of her smoky gray sweater. She was wearing a long skirt in black wool that hugged her curves, splitting at her knee to show off knee-high boots in black leather. But the hint of purple tights made me fist my hands under my biceps.
Just a hint of something under all the subtle neutral tones.
Did that match with other things under her clothes?
And that wasn’t what today was about. Actually, none of this had been part of my day.
“I haven’t had caffeine yet. That was just an idea off the top of my head.”
“I have some of Macy’s Winter Goblin in the back. Want some?” Nolan asked.
I was fading now that my endorphin boost had been stalled with my short jog. “That would be good, actually.”
“I can get it,” Lyric piped up.
Nolan waved her off. “I got it.”
He disappeared, leaving us alone.
Jackass .
I had just been explaining to him how much Lyric didn’t want me around, but then I’d gotten caught up in the mural ideas. This was exactly what I loved doing. I’d been obsessed with the fire illustrations lately, but my actual love was for graphic art on large surfaces.
I could already see them in my mind’s eye. And the massive space was perfect for a ton of different styles.Some stark, some soft and romantic, some illustrated—there were so many different combinations.
I turned to her. “I know you don’t want me here.”
She swung her golden eyes my way. “I never said that.”
“Didn’t have to. You bugged out from the bar the other day as if your ass was on fire.”
“I did not.”
I gentled my voice. I was angry with myself, not her. “You did. And I’m sorry for it, Lyric. I can make my excuses with Nolan. I have a ton on my plate, anyway.”
I did have way too much going on, but the idea of this space made my fingers itch to get my spray cans out. Or even my paints. I could sketch it out then the line work could be projected onto the wall to keep the proportions from getting out of hand.
She didn’t say anything, and I clicked back in. Hell, the ideas had me by the throat already. I could rein it in, though.
I should put them back in the box.
I had my final week of the Fire Academy and my stress test in two days. Then the final written exams I needed to study for.
All of it had rolled up on me somehow and now I was sitting square in the middle of that buzzy art state that I forever longed for.
I wanted both.
And Lyric.
Which was obviously a no-go.
Maybe I should just cut my losses all around. I glanced at the wall again and could already picture the intricate links of the triple chain from one of the photos on Hadley McTavish’s website. She had a similar style as part of her website and logo that would absolutely work on the black walls.
“What’s on your plate? Working at The Cove?” Her voice was husky and hesitant.
I wasn’t sure if I should mention the firefighter exams. Especially with how she’d reacted to seeing me the other night. Hell, almost a week ago, and I could still picture the abject fear and panic that had switched her from laughter to so like that fear-soaked night long ago.
I didn’t want to bring that back onto her.
Sometimes denial was all we had.
God knew I’d been living there for a few months until I’d gotten deeper in the academy. Then I hadn’t had a choice but to deal with the darkness.
“When you stopped adding me to the schedule, I picked up other jobs.”
“Look, about that…” Her shoulders hunched even further. I could practically taste the guilt in the air.
I held up a hand. “You don’t have to explain. A lot of shit went down.”
She sighed. “Doesn’t excuse my unprofessional behavior.”
“Fuck that.”She flinched, and I wanted to saw off my tongue. I sighed and tempered my voice. “Sorry. But seriously, fuck that, Lyric. If you don’t want me around, I understand. And while I’d really like to get my hands on those walls, I get it.”
“Now I sound like a basketcase if I say yes.”
“Yes, to let me work or yes to me bowing out?”
Her burnished gold eyes met mine and held. “You know which one, Jensen.”
I did. And it sucked. I turned to her, and I couldn’t quite help myself from grabbing her hand.
She tried to pull back, but I twisted our fingers together for a moment, stilling her nervous fidgeting. “We went through something really fucked up. And I’m really sorry that I couldn’t get down there and save you.”
Lyric’s eyes widened and she shook her head.
“But I miss this place, and I miss you.”
She drew in a deep breath.
“As an artist. It’s okay—you can relax. I promise I won’t push for anything. Even being your friend.” My chest ached, but if I had to stay away from her, at least I could get my hands on this space. “But I am damn good at what I do. Just ask Nolan.”
She frowned. “How would he know?”
“Just ask him.”
She opened her mouth, and I let her hand go, taking a big step back. I didn’t want to, but knew it was what she needed.
“Take some time to think about it,” I said finally. “I’m sure you have your hands full trying to find people to fill this place. And it’s a great space, Lyric. Really great. As much as I loved the old Trick or Treat, this is truly like a whole different place. We can be the same. A do-over.”
She pressed her lips together.
“Just think about it. And if it’s too much for whatever reason, I’m fine with being out. It’ll suck, but I won’t ever make you uncomfortable.”
She reached for me, but she quickly dropped her hand, unwilling to try to cross the distance I’d put between us. “Thanks. I think I will need some time to think.”
I nodded. “I get it.”
Nolan came back in with a trio of cups. He paused just before he reached us. “Seems thick in here.”
I reached for one of the cups. “Thanks, man.” I flipped the top off the to-go cup and took a scalding sip. “Macy sure knows what she’s doing.”
Nolan grunted. “Got that right.” He handed one to Lyric who wrapped both hands around the cup.
“Lyric knows where I stand. I’m going to get out of your way. Now I get two Macy drinks. I was heading up that way on my run.”
Nolan rolled his eyes. “Running in the winter—I’ll never get it.”
I laughed. “Believe me, not my usual workout.”Before Nolan could out me as training to be a firefighter, I lifted my cup in a little cheers gesture. “You have my number.”
“We do.”
“Cool. Keep me in mind. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll understand.”Nolan frowned, but I backed up and turned around to grab my vest. “It really is an awesome space, no matter what.”
I glanced at Lyric, who was staring deep into the coffee cup as if all the answers were inside the dark brew.
I hoped for my sake they would be.
I hurried to the front door of the store and let myself out. The slap of cold had me rethinking my run, but the CPAT—Candidate Physical Ability Test—was literally days away.
Giving myself another minute, I savored the rest of my coffee, then I put my vest back on and only winced a little at the crushing weight of it wrapped around my chest. It was going to be a damn long run.
I gave one more look over my shoulder at the store. It had felt like home walking through those doors.
I only hoped that she would allow me back into her life.
Well, into the store.
Lyric Bledsoe seemed like she wasn’t interested in me on any level.