Chapter 24
Liam
Lose Control – Teddy Swims
For the third time that morning, I’d had to ask James where we were rerouting the drainage pipe to. My head just wasn’t in the game. In fact, my head was a few miles down the road with a certain blonde.
I just couldn’t stop thinking about her and the way she’d looked in Dallas with that red ribbon tied into her hair like she’d stepped out of a vintage photograph.
It wasn’t just pretty. It was arresting.
The silky fabric had shimmered under the lights every time she moved, and last night, when I was alone, I realized I’d spent more time watching her than I should have the whole time.
In bed, I’d even thought about how it would feel to untie it.
Slowly. Deliberately. To watch her hair as it fell in soft, golden waves while the smooth red silk slipped through my fingers.
The thought of using it for something far more intimate than holding back her hair had sent a rush of heat through me and it was all I could see and think about as I’d jerked off in the darkness of my room.
Charity was beautiful in a way that felt deliberate but never forced. She was the kind of woman who didn’t just walk into a room but also changed its atmosphere. All golden-blonde hair, wide cornflower blue eyes, and a smile that could wreck a man’s concentration from across a parking lot.
I knew she curled her hair every morning, coaxing volume into strands that wanted to fall straight and effortless, but I’d seen her wear it more casual in Dallas, and I’d liked it better that way.
Unpolished. Untouched. It hung like a sheet of silk, soft against my fingers when I’d brushed the end of her braid.
She certainly was all contradictions, sharp wit and soft edges, red lipstick and stubbornness, with a quiet flash of vulnerability she’d shown me in the hotel room when we talked about our demons.
The kind of woman who could hold her own in a rough Dallas bar, then fall apart in my hands like she’d been waiting her whole life for permission to let go and have someone support her instead.
Spending time with her, talking to her, sharing with her had changed something fundamental within me.
It had made me realize that I’d been holding onto the past too tight.
I’d thought that if I held the memory of Ezra and even Mallory in an iron grip I wouldn’t really lose them.
It turned out that holding onto ghosts meant I didn’t get to live.
Being around Charity had made me see that a half-life wasn’t enough.
She’d shown me that I wanted so much more.
It was fucking scary but somehow a vague awareness of the perky teenager turned bossy event planner around town had developed into a full-on-crush. A hint of possibility.
“Hey boss!” James’ deep voice broke through my daydream. “Visitor.”
My heartbeat picked up, with the idea that it might be Charity, but when I caught sight of an expensive black suit and a shock of dark hair the same color, I groaned.
Not that I wasn’t always happy to see my best friend, but a blonde in a tight skirt, silk blouse and pink rain boots would have been preferable.
“You do know snow is on the way, don’t you?” Nate asked as he sauntered up the steps of my mobile office. “You should be getting tarps over that hole you’ve dug for the pool.”
“I don’t come to your sites and tell you what to do, so don’t do it at mine.
” Nate and I had agreed a long time ago not to mix business with our friendship.
Cole designing homes for him was as far as it went.
I knew we’d butt heads, and I loved him too much to risk our friendship. “And the tarps are going on tonight.”
He sauntered inside, the cocksure tilt of the head only a millionaire could get away with. “It’s looking good out there.”
“Of course it is, I’m good at what I do.” Raising a brow, I clicked off the spreadsheet I’d been pretending to work on while my mind was elsewhere. “And for what do I owe the pleasure, anyway?”
Pulling out a chair, he dropped his body into it and crossed his long legs. “How you doing? How was your road trip with Charity?”
I rolled my eyes as I reached for the mini refrigerator and pulled out a coke for him. The man’s body was a temple, but he had a thing for sugar filled soft drinks. “Here.” He caught it one handed. “And who told you, or do I need to ask?”
“Not Cole, if that’s what you’re thinking.
” Popping the can he raised a perfectly arched brow.
“Tally told me you’d gone away for a few days, because she got it from your mom, who did get it from Cole.
And then Mrs. Rodriguez mentioned Charity's sister at our monthly meeting, so I kind of put two and two together.” He grinned around the can.
There were times when I wanted to hit the self-assured dick around the back of the head and now was one of them.
I wanted to tell him it wasn’t any of his damn business, but he was on top of everything he had dealings with, and seeing as he was the one who bankrolled Mrs. Rodriguez women’s project, it kind of was his business.
“And what made you think I was the one who went looking for her? Because I know Mrs. R won’t have told you.”
He placed his drink carefully on my desk, turning it so that the brand name was facing him. Precise and exact as always. “You followed her out of The Tap the other night and then went missing for a couple of days,” he scoffed. “It didn’t take Starsky or Hutch to figure it out.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Him and his love of 70s detective shows. The man watched every one there was, repeatedly. Could probably recite every episode of Kojak word for word.
“And what is it you want to say about it?” Resting my chin on my hand I watched him carefully. “Because I know you do.”
“She’s a beautiful woman, why wouldn’t you be interested?”
“Just helping out a friend,” I lied. That was at least how it had started out.
“Come on Liam, we’ve known each other since we were in diapers.
Don’t bullshit me. Something is bugging you, I can see.
” He leaned over the desk and motioned a circle in the air around my eyes.
“It’s in those puppy dog eyes you’ve got going on.
I’ve seen them a couple of times before, Devon Rogers when we were six, Mallory, of course, and Margot Robbie the nine times we watched Wolf of Wall Street. ”
“Dick.”
“Maybe, but I’m right.” He grinned, his bright blue eyes twinkling with more amusement than was necessary. “You like her, don’t you?”
My stomach rolled with the realization that if Nate could see it then I wasn’t being particularly good at hiding it. And if I wasn’t hiding it then maybe it was because I was ready to move forward with my life, and that fucking petrified me.
“I’m worried that maybe if I go for it and it goes wrong it might just be too much to come back from.
” I blew out a short breath, feeling relief that I’d finally admitted it.
My chair creaked as I shifted my weight forward.
“Me and Mallory were so young, and with Ezra coming we just thought that being together was what we wanted.”
“But?” Nate knew all about the ‘but’. We’d talked about it enough over the years when we’d had too much to drink.
“But I don’t know if she was ever going to be the love of my life.” I shrugged. “And I’ll never know. Was never given the chance to find out.”
Nate studied me, his eyes narrowing as he tapped his chin with his forefinger, his tell that he was thinking carefully about his next words.
“I’ve never said this to you before, kind of decided it was best to keep it to myself,” he eventually said.
“Best to just listen and support you.” He lifted a hand to smooth back his hair, so inky black that it looked navy blue in some lights.
“Mallory was never going to be who you spent your life with, Liam. If things had been different then she’d have always been in your life because of Ezra, but you two as a couple?
I couldn’t see it. Not sure anyone could, but we all buried our feelings about that when you buried Ezra. ”
I frowned. “Everyone?”
“Me, Cole and Joe at least. And you know, Nellie never liked her, but then maybe that was because she had a crush on you, too.”
Nellie was Nate’s younger half-sister and had lots of opinions about lots of things, and apparently my ex-girlfriend was one of them.
“Oh, and thanks for putting Charity onto Sophia for the catering, Nellie will be eternally grateful.”
“I didn’t do it because she’s your sister’s best friend. She’s a great caterer. And that isn’t what we were discussing.”
“Woah.” Nate chuckled. “You wanting to talk about yourself and your love life is a first. You must really think she’s pretty.”
“Don’t be a dick,” I snapped. “There’s more to her than just being pretty.” My heart thumped in time with the annoyance pumping in my veins. “That’s just disrespectful.”
Nate didn’t say anything, but continued smirking.
“What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. Anyway, the point I was making is, you’ve been grieving not only your son but a relationship that never really got going and probably wasn’t ever going to.”
“You don’t know that,” I protested, a little half-heartedly.
Nate brushed something from the lapel of his jacket.
“I think you know it’s true, so don’t sabotage a relationship that already looks like it might be better than the one you’ve been romanticizing for the last decade or more.
And as for Ezra, he came too early and that wasn’t on you or Mallory.
The doctors told you it was one of those things, it wasn’t anyone’s fault.
Least of all yours.” He leaned forward and picked up his drink.
“Do not let fear ruin this for you, Liam.”
We fell silent for a few moments, him sipping on his can of sugar and me my coffee, saying nothing, just enjoying the peace.
“How’s business anyway, Mr. Big Shot, how many more millions have you made this week?”