Chapter 19
R emorse is the poison of life. - Charlotte Bronte , Jane Eyre
Emma
I woke up to the sound of Dimitri arguing with someone in Russian.
Dressed only in a pair of suit slacks, he held the cell to his ear with his shoulder and put on his watch. With his back turned, I got a good look at the ominous dragon tattoo. The one that according to my Russian tattoo symbolism book meant he was a very high-level, dangerous thief.
Unsure of what to do, I slowly sat up, dragging the down cover up to conceal as much of my nakedness as I could.
I held a hand to my throat. It hurt to swallow.
Flashbacks to last night and Dimitri roughly pushing his cock deep into my throat made me close my eyes in shame.
Then a second wave hit me as I recalled how he had forced me to keep the butt plug in till we got home.
Then he… then he… put his finger… oh, God!
Who was that woman last night?
It wasn’t like me to be so… uninhibited… and… and… sexual .
As he turned, Dimitri’s silver gaze pierced me from across the room.
I held my breath as he stalked toward me.
Was I in trouble for overhearing his conversation?
Was it something criminal I wasn’t supposed to know about?
Oh, God!
But I don’t speak Russian. He knows that. I’m no threat.
“Ты достаточно облажался. Я сам справлюсь,” he snarled into the phone, his jaw tense with anger.
Holding the phone against his chest, he leaned down and kissed me gently on the forehead. “Good morning, моя крошка.” He gestured to the side table with his head. “There is some hot tea with honey for you. I’ll just be another minute.”
He turned and continued to argue in Russian. His voice became muffled as he stepped inside his walk-in closet. When he emerged he was fully dressed, adjusting his tie and no longer on the phone. Shrugging into his suit jacket, he walked back to me. The bed rocked a bit as he sat down near my hip.
He stroked a lock of hair before tucking it behind my ear. “I could get used to waking up with you in my bed.”
I ducked my head as I toyed with the handle on my teacup.
It was one of those fancy silver filigree ones that held a clear glass as the cup.
I was more than embarrassed about the wanton way I had behaved last night.
I wanted nothing more than to throw on my clothes and run away to the safety of my apartment.
Dimitri tapped my nose. I looked up.
“I don’t know what is going on in that beautifully crazy little mind of yours but don’t you dare second-guess what happened last night. You were amazing. And I plan on repeating every dirty thing I did to that gorgeous body of yours the moment I get back from New York.”
“New York?”
He rose and crossed to a landscape painting across the room. Swinging the frame wide, he exposed a hidden safe. “Yes. I have some… business to attend to.”
I caught the pause before he said business . I might be new to this whole relationship thing, but I wasn’t stupid enough to ask any more questions.
Dimitri pulled an evil-looking gun from the safe and tucked it behind his back into his waistband. He then withdrew several stacks of cash and dropped them into a small canvas bag on the chair. The second he turned around I averted my eyes, once more staring at the cup in my hand.
“Are you hungry? Can I fix you something to eat before I go?”
I shook my head. After what I had just seen, I wouldn’t be able to swallow a bite.
“What time is your first class?”
“Not till nine.”
“Did you want me to drop you off at home?”
“No!” I answered too loudly. I then forced a smile. “No. I’ll take a cab. I still have the change from the hundred you gave me yesterday.”
Dimitri reached into his pants pocket and withdrew his money clip. “That reminds me. I distinctly remember leaving you several hundred-dollar bills.”
I waved my hand at his offer of more cash. The diamond bracelet still on my wrist flashed in the early morning light. “I didn’t need nearly that much. The cab was less than thirty dollars.”
He tossed several more hundred-dollar bills onto the bedcovers. “That’s not the point. I won’t have you going without. I may have to stay overnight in New York. What time is your first class tomorrow?”
“Not until ten.”
He gave me a quick kiss. “Good. I will pick you up at your place. We’ll have breakfast together.”
He turned to go.
“Wait!” I sprang up onto my knees, heedlessly dropping the covers.
His eyes glinted as he crossed back to me. One warm hand closed over my naked breast. “Don’t tempt me, моя крошка. I know you must still be sore from last night.”
I blushed. “Not that.” I held out my wrist with the heavy diamond bracelet on it. “Can you please take this off? It makes me self-conscious.”
Without even pausing, he said, “No.”
“But…”
“The answer is no, Emma. I enjoy knowing you have it on. Now I have to go to work. Be a good girl while I’m gone.”
He kissed me on the top of my head, then turned away and snatched up the black canvas bag as he walked toward the bedroom door, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll call you later on your new phone. Make sure you answer it.”
With that, he was gone.
I sat there alone in his bed.
So I guess we are going to pretend my boyfriend didn’t just grab a gun and a shady bag full of cash before heading out to ‘work.’
* * *
“You’re overreacting.”
“I am not overreacting.”
“Shhh…!”
Mary and I whispered in unison, “Sorry.”
Snatching a book off the stack of nineteenth century poetry Mary was holding in her hands, I moved further down the aisle till I found its proper place and shoved it on the shelf.
“Don’t you think you are being a little overdramatic here?”
I grabbed another book from her pile and pivoted, shelving it in place before responding.
“He had a gun !”
“Shhh…!” came the agitated rebuke from somewhere in the stacks.
“Sorry!” we both huffed back to no one in particular.
We were both at the Cudahy Library on campus. Mary was following me around as I sorted and re-shelved the books that had been returned in the overnight bin.
Mary shrugged. “So what? This is Chicago. Everyone has a gun.”
Grabbing Mary by the elbow, I dragged her down the aisle and to the left till we were in Section B108-708; Ancient, medieval, and eastern philosophy next to the skeptic and Neo-Platonism philosophy books where I knew we wouldn’t be disturbed.
Waving my hands in front of my cheeks to cool them, I finally blurted out, “He likes to do certain things in bed.”
Mary dumped the books I had been making her hold on a side table. “ Things? Like, what kinds of things?”
Swiveling my head to glance around and make sure we weren’t being overheard, I leaned in. “Kinky things.”
“Like butt sex?”
“Shhh!” Another angry rebuke from the other side of the shelves.
I lowered my head into my hands, humiliated. “Oh, my God, Mary! Could you have said that any louder?”
Holding her hand up to her mouth, she whispered, “Sorry!” Then she lowered her voice even more. “You mean butt sex?”
“Stop saying butt sex!” I mouthed to her, afraid to even whisper it.
“Did you like it?”
While I wasn’t about to go into the details of how we hadn’t actually done full-on butt sex, only a butt plug and some other stuff, the truth was, I did like it.
I liked all of it, even the kinky stuff that frightened me a bit, like when he forced me to suck his cock deep or spanked me with his belt.
He was just so freaking hot and demanding in bed.
The man did things to my body that left me bruised and sore, but still begging for more.
“That’s not the point.”
“This is like that episode…”
“I’m warning you, Mary. I cannot take you comparing my life to a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode right now.”
She threw up her hands. “Fine. Look. I’ll admit. I’ve never really done any of that kinky stuff, but it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with it.”
“Seriously? You haven’t?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I grabbed her hands. “Oh, my God! I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Only that you always seem so confident about men and… things.”
“Don’t let the red lipstick and animal prints fool you.
I’m still as much of a book nerd as you.
Besides, it takes a special kind of guy to pull that kind of sex off.
He has to be strong and dominant with a real presence, you know?
When have you ever seen me date a guy who could order me to my knees and not make me giggle at the attempt? ”
It was true. Mary was getting her Master’s in Education. The last guy she’d dated was someone from her department. She hadn’t made it past the second date when she’d learned he lived with his mother and spent his free time painting action figurines.
And she had just described Dimitri to a tee. He was masterful and arrogant and so freaking big and strong… in every way. Those intense eyes of his practically dared you not to submit to his demands.
“The crazy good sex aside, I’m just worried he might be a… well… a bad man.”
Mary’s red lips flattened. Taking a step closer, she placed a hand over my shoulder and pulled me close.
“I’m not going to lie, sweetie. It’s possible.
I mean setting aside the whole stereotypical scary Russian villain vibe he’s got going on.
From the things you’ve said, there’s a good chance he’s into some illegal shit. ”
“See? Even you think it’s possible.”
“Yeah, but it’s also possible that he’s just a businessman. Let’s face it. Most uber-rich people get their hands dirty some way or another making their fortunes. There are no squeaky clean billionaires in this world, but especially in a city like Chicago.”
I played with the heavy diamond bracelet, twirling it around on my wrist. “I guess that’s true too.”
“It really comes down to how he treats you , not so much what he does for a living.”
There was no denying he treated me like a princess… well, when he wasn’t calling me his dirty girl and spanking me.
“I think you need to take your mind off things. Why don’t you swing by tonight and help me out at the bar?”
I grimaced. “I don’t think so.”
Dimitri probably wouldn’t like it. The bar Mary worked at tended to be an odd raucous mix of rich students from the different nearby colleges, drunk businessmen, and married women who swilled wine and pretended they were candidates for Real Housewives of Chicago .
Her boss knew me and occasionally put me on the payroll during the holiday season or when they were short-staffed.
“Come on. Joe called out. I could use the help. There’s a party of obnoxious pharma sales reps in tonight.”
“I don’t know. I have to go through my files tonight. The financial affairs online portal is claiming my tuition has been paid off. I know it’s a clerical error and I need to get it fixed before the next payment is due. Plus, I still have all those grant applications to go through.”
When I had tried to make my payment online today and it had shown a zero balance, I briefly suspected Dimitri but quickly dismissed it.
He couldn’t possibly have been serious about paying off my tuition.
The man spent his money freely and had stated he would do so, but…
no… it wasn’t him. It couldn’t be. It was a stupid error that if I didn’t clear up now, they’d probably fix it later and charge me a late fee for nonpayment.
“Come on! We’ll sneak tequila shots behind the bar. It’ll be fun!”
“Fine!”
“Yay!”
“Shhh!”
“Sorry!”
The moment I agreed I couldn’t shake the feeling Dimitri wouldn’t be happy with my plans for the evening. It was silly, of course. I had helped at the bar a hundred times before. It was no big deal.
Right?