7. Shattered
Chapter seven
Shattered
Lei
Yan’s head. . .my sister’s head. . .was in a box? No. That can’t be what she said.
I stared at Moni, my mind refusing to process the words she had just spoken. There was no fucking way in this godforsaken reality that she could have said that.
Still, my world spun, the garden around me blurring as Moni’s words echoed in my mind.
I could barely breathe.
I couldn’t even think.
All I could see was Moni’s tear-streaked face and the raw pain in her eyes.
“No,” I whispered. “Are you. . .”
Moni’s eyes filled with fresh tears.
I shivered. “Are you sure it was Yan?”
“Y-yes.”
Anger, disbelief, and an overwhelming sense of loss crashed into my chest.
Yan is gone? My big sister?
Letting go of Moni’s face, I stumbled back. My legs barely supported me as the reality of her death sank in.
No.
A choked sob escaped my lips and I turned away from Moni, unable to show her my grief.
Moni didn’t let me retreat into my sorrow alone. She reached out and gripped my hand in a lifeline that I hadn’t known I needed until it was there.
Did he really kill her?
Unable to calm myself, I turned back around gripped her hand tighter, terrified to let go.
She didn’t flinch or pull away. Instead, she brought our entwined hands up to her chest and held them there, close to her heartbeat. “I’m so sorry, Lei.”
My bottom lip quivered as I tried to get control of my words. “My father. . . really killed her?”
Moni trembled. “Yes.”
All sense of calm left me and I didn’t feel like the Mountain Master anymore. I just felt powerless and small.
Mommy. . .did you hear that?
The garden darkened around me, melting into shadows and sorrow. Bright flowers faded and bled black. All the vibrant greens hemorrhaged into a sea of murky nothingness.
How could he do that?
Breathing in deeply, I allowed my senses to absorb the only thing that made me calm—the comforting rhythm of Moni's heartbeat against my palm.
How could this happen? How could he do this?
I knew my father was a monster but this… this was beyond anything I could have imagined.
And he just. . .gave the head to Moni? What the fuck is wrong with him?
I wanted to scream, tear through the garden, go back in the house, and make my father pay for what he had done.
But I was paralyzed by the weight of my sorrow, my mind reeling from the loss.
Obviously knowing the battle within me, Moni let go of my hands, grabbed my waist, and pulled me close to her, holding me together when I felt like I was about to shatter into a million pieces.
God. . .help me.
Her body was soft and warm against mine. “We’ll get through this together. I love you, Lei, and I’m here for you.”
Moni’s touch grounded me.
Her warmth seeped into my bones. “I’m so sorry, Lei. What do you need from me?”
The tightness in my chest slowly loosened. I hugged her back, needing her more than I’d ever needed another human being in my life.
Through the haze of my grief, a memory surfaced.
Sharp and clear.
It was a sunny afternoon and Yan and I were little kids running through this very garden.
Yan had made this blue wooden sword that morning and when she was done. . .she had grabbed me to play with her.
That afternoon, I chased her around apple and peach trees.
“Catch me if you can, Lei!” She giggled, wagging the sword in the air. “If you catch me then you will be the Mountain Master.”
Laughing, I did my best to get her with my tiny legs.
Always quick, she darted away from me and rushed around the tree with ease. This must have gone on for several minutes but eventually, I caught her.
“Got you!”
Giggling, she fell to the ground. “Good job!”
Out of breath, I bent over and grabbed the sword. “Now, I’m the Mountain Master.”
Still laying on the grass, she widened her eyes. “You are.”
I slashed the air with the sword. “All must obey me!”
Yan giggled. “What will be your first law?”
“That we rule together!” I drove the sword in the air. “Mountain Master and Mountain Mistress!”
Widening her eyes, Yan jumped up and started doing a silly dance. “Yay!”
“No one will beat us!”
“No one!” She twirled, flinging her arms out wide and whooping with joy as she began spinning faster and faster. “Hear that, everyone? We'll rule you together!”
Her laughter echoed around the garden as she fell into a heap on the grass and her chest heaved with exertion.
But then I stared down at the sword. “We need two of these, if we’re going to rule. Will you help me make one?”
“We don’t need two swords, silly.” She got back off the ground. “We’ll just share this one.”
I stared back at her, thinking she was the smartest person ever.
“Okay, Yan. You’re right.” I gave her the sword. “We’ll share.”
She twirled the sword around.
Then suddenly our father emerged, stepping away from a huge peach tree. I hadn’t even realized he’d been behind it the whole time.
For some reason, it made me nervous.
However, Yan beamed with excitement. “Daddy! We're ruling the garden together!”
Silent, he looked at me and the sword.
I bobbed my head. “I’m the Mountain Master and she is the Mountain Mistress!”
Instead of the amused smile we expected, my father’s expression hardened and then his eyes bore into Yan with an intensity that sent a chill down my spine.
I stepped back.
Yan's smile faltered and the joy dimmed in her eyes.
“Yan.” Then, he pointed to me. “Give the sword back to Lei.”
She quirked her brows. “Why?”
“Because only Lei could be the Mountain Master.”
My stomach twisted. I was unsure of why I felt so. . .odd. . .too young to understand my emotions at this time.
Yan looked up at him. “But I made the sword and—”
“It doesn’t matter who made the sword, Yan, but it does matter who holds the sword and that will forever be Lei.”
His words hung in the air.
Heavy.
Unforgiving.
The carefree world Yan and I had created shattered under the weight of his disapproval.
He gestured to me. “Get the sword from her.”
I glanced at Yan and couldn’t move.
“Okay, Daddy.” Her shoulders slumped and the sword dropped in her hand.
I still didn’t move.
Seconds later, she gave it to me and then left.
So confused, I watched her retreat, head bowed leaving me alone with our father and the sword.
I was too young to understand the full implications of his words, too naive to see the dark undertones.
All I knew was, something had shifted that day.
Something irrevocable.
And little by little, Yan and I. . .we never were the same.
We never played the same.
The close connection we had as kids slowly widened between us, eroding into toxicity. Tainted by my father’s bullshit plans for the East.
Now. . .we would never heal the bond that my father had torn apart.
I thought. . .I had time. . .
Returning to the present moment, I took a shuddering breath and tried to steady myself.
Moni looked at me. “Talk to me, baby.”
“Yan deserved better than that.” I wiped my tears.
“I-I’m sorry for. . .telling him.”
“No, Moni.” I shook my head. “You think he just decided to kill her last night?”
“Yes. If I had never said anything—”
“My father is not that impulsive, Moni. He's cold. Calculating. This was planned. . .for a long time.”
My heart threatened to break free from my chest.
“But Song looked surprised.”
“My uncle was probably just surprised that he actually did it but I bet even Uncle Song knew of his plan months ago.”
“And your aunts?”
I looked up and to my shock, Aunt Suzi and Aunt Min were heading over. “Well. . .we’ll see, if my aunts knew.”
Moni glanced over her shoulder. “Oh.”
They both marched over with fury in their eyes, their usually pleasant expressions twisted into scowls. Their fists were clenched tightly and their steps were heavy as they approached.
I let go of Moni and fully faced them.
Aunt Min stopped four feet in front of us. “Lei, what are you doing? The tea ceremony was already going spectacular. Monique had all of their hearts with that speech and the tea smells delicious but is probably cold now—”
“Did you know my father killed Yan?”
Fast, Aunt Min stepped back like I brutally slapped her.
I frowned. “Did you?”
Widening her eyes, Aunt Min looked at Moni and then she turned back to me. “What did you say?”
“Did you know that my father killed my sister? Cut off her head.”
“What are these lies?” Aunt Suzi’s aggravated face now twisted in pure horror. “Do not ever talk about my brother in that way—”
“He killed her.”
“Lei.” Aunt Suzi pointed at me. “This is not funny. I do not know what you are trying to do but. . .”
She couldn’t even finish the sentence as that pointed finger shook.
I studied them both and understood one simple fact.
They didn’t know.
Aunt Min looked at Moni. “What is he talking about? Please explain this to me.”
Moni stepped forward. “Leo gave me a present before the tea ceremony. It was a box with Yan’s head inside of it.”
Aunt Min held up her hand. “That is. . .quite enough. I don’t find any of this funny! Stop it!”
Moni blinked.
In that moment, I noticed Chen and Moni’s ladies-in-waiting rushing over too. Apparently, it was about to be a big group meeting.
Aunt Min looked at me. “Why are you saying these things?”
I spoke. “Because it’s true.”
Aunt Suzi put her view on Moni. “Y-you never even met Yan so. . .how would you know that was actually her head in the box?”
I spoke for Moni. “Yan came to Mount Utopia after we left the hotel to train. I had a feast for her and during it Yan talked about planning on going to war with me once Father was dead.”
Aunt Min shook her head. “There would have been no war. We would have made sure of it.”
“That was my plan too.” I nodded. “But. . .perhaps my father didn’t trust that we could actually handle Yan.”
“No. No.” Aunt Suzi waved my comment away. “Monique only saw Yan once. That means it could have been anyone.”
I scowled. “He killed her.”
Chen and the ladies-in-waiting approached.
Aunt Min held her hand over her heart. “Where is Yan’s head?”
Chen shrieked. “W-what did she say?”
I pursed my lips and looked at Moni.
Moni swallowed. “Yan’s head is still in the box. I put the top over it so the kitchen staff wouldn’t see it and get traumatized.”
Chen raised one hand. “Excuse me. What do you mean when you say. . .Yan’s head?”
I frowned. “Father killed her.”
Chen quirked his brows. “But. . .this is a different Yan? Right? Not your sister, Yan?”
Before I could answer, Aunt Min held both of her hands to her head. “This is my fault.”
I shook my head. “It’s not your fault.”
“Leo asked me to invite Yan back to the States. I thought he needed her to convince you not to kill him but. . .” She trailed off, gripping at the fabric of her dress. “But he had other intentions.”
Aunt Suzi staggered a few steps back. “No. No. . .Leo couldn't have. . .This is my brother you are talking about. Leo would never. He knows better.”
Aunt Min hugged herself. “We thought he wouldn’t kill little Chanel or Romeo. Kids that we watched grow up. But he did it.”
“Let's not jump to conclusions.” Chen interjected, but his eyes mirrored our horror. “We need to see the. . .head. To confirm.”
I could tell Aunt Min and Aunt Suzi wanted to cry but they wouldn’t. That was the way of their generation, to hold it all in—their emotions, worries, everything.
One was never to show any devastation or sadness on their face.
Aunt Min let out a long breath. “We need a plan for, if . . .Yan is really. . .”
She couldn’t even finish the sentence, telling me she was that close from cracking.
Suddenly. . .Aunt Suzi dropped to her knees right beneath the cherry blossom tree and just stayed there.
My heart broke at the sight.
A breeze hit and delicate petals fell around Aunt Suzi like soft tears.
I wanted to bury my face in my hands. The agony was too much to bear, but they were around and now I was back to being the Mountain Master.
I had to lead.
Aunt Min hugged herself tighter. “Suzi, get off the ground.”
Aunt Suzi just remained there with a blank look.
We have to kill him now.
I turned to Moni’s ladies-in-waiting. “Take the Mountain Mistress back to the palace and make sure no less than thirty palace guards are around her.”
They nodded.
Moni widened her eyes. “Lei. . .I understand but I don’t want to leave your side.”
“If he killed my sister.” A cold shiver ran through me. “Then, he will kill you.”
Aunt Suzi just stayed on the ground; silent and sad.
Aunt Min straightened her dress as if it were wildly wrinkled. “Lei, we must do this in a careful manner, and we must do this together.”
“Are we really going to do this together? Kill my father? Can you even help me do it?”
“I stand with you. I cannot even. . .stomach my brother right now.” She scowled. “One could never kill family. There must be limits.”
“Then, you will go back in the ceremony and make sure that he dies today?”
Aunt Min parted her lips.
On the ground, Aunt Suzi closed her eyes.
Chen held out his hands. “We. . .still have to see if it is really Yan’s head.”
“It’s her.”
“It can’t be.” Chen shook his head. “I-I don’t think Uncle Leo could ever. . .he can’t. Right? Lei? He couldn’t.”
“He did.”
Chen looked like he wanted to lower to his knees and stay on the ground just like Aunt Suzi. Yan and Chen were the oldest of us which meant they remained close. Even when she went back to China, she would call him on his birthdays and holidays.
He’s not going to be okay after this.
I let out a long breath. “Chen, you should help Moni and her ladies get back to the palace and stay there—”
“I-I need to confirm it is Yan.”
I gritted my teeth. “We don’t have time for this.”
Moni grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Lei. . .give him a minute.”
I stared at Chen, seeing the disbelief and sorrow etched into his features.
Next, I turned to my aunts.
Silent and still on the ground, Aunt Suzi stared off in the distance.
Meanwhile, Aunt Min's face was set in a mask of determination but I could see the rage simmering beneath the surface. “Leo is here without the majority of his men.”
I nodded. “He is.”
“Then. . .” Aunt Min gazed back at the house. “We need a plan and we need it fast.”