Chapter 8 Ash
ASH
Ash drove home that evening, feeling like he was in a dream.
It had been the best day ever, and that had nothing to do with the look on Libby’s face when Allie told her they were engaged.
Though Allie had gone off to admire and participate in all the activities with Maya and Timmy, he’d gotten to know plenty about her just from the interaction with her friends and neighbors.
A lady who used to work at the ice cream shop told him all about how little Allie would help her sweep up the shop even when she could barely talk.
And the postman had stopped by to share that Allie helped him answer the letters to Santa Claus each year.
Fellow teachers mentioned quiet favors she had done, and everyone told him he was the luckiest guy in town.
Without exception, all her colleagues and friends were incredibly welcoming and more than eager to tell him how much they adored his fiancée.
His fake fiancée.
Not that he hadn’t known already that Allie was special. You couldn’t spend ten minutes with her without knowing what a kind soul she was.
What he hadn’t expected was that she had such a keen sense of justice, and the quick wit to back it up.
She’s just like Maya, he thought to himself again, glancing in the rearview mirror at his daughter.
For once, Maya was completely still, her little face pressed to the glass, eyes fixed out the window and a peaceful smile tugging up her lips.
It made sense—she’d gotten plenty of fresh air and exercise today. It was just what she needed.
Hopefully, he could keep her life with him as fun, peaceful, and consistent as possible. That way if Libby flitted in and out, it wouldn’t matter so much.
But thoughts of Libby took him straight back to Allie.
And that got him thinking about Maya all over again.
Luckily, it didn’t seem like the little girl had heard anything about her father’s pretend engagement today.
And with any luck, it would be a real engagement soon, with no need for Maya to know it had ever been anything else.
But what if Maya didn’t really want this?
What if she adored Miss Lawrence as a teacher but didn’t want her as a stepmother?
He thought he’d considered everything when he decided to set his sights on Allie. But Maya was the most important person in his life, and always would be, so she needed to be on board for this to work.
And Miss Lawrence wasn’t the only thing he had to talk with her about.
As he pulled down the drive to their little house, he pondered how to start the conversation.
The trouble was that sometimes Maya could have a deep and serious conversation about surprisingly complicated things. And sometimes she was too filled with five-year-old energy to talk at all.
Hopefully tonight is a good talking night, he thought to himself. Because I’ve got to get her head around this idea before someone else brings it up.
“Would you like a snack when we get inside?” he asked as he turned off the truck’s ignition.
“Yes,” Maya said happily.
She always loved a snack, and they hadn’t had much of a real dinner tonight at the festival.
“Okay, we’ll make some toast,” he told her.
They made their way to the house, Maya walking quickly, but not darting out in front of him like usual. She was definitely getting sleepy.
Once they were inside with their boots and coats by the door, they headed into the kitchen.
“I’ll put some peanut butter on our toast,” Ash suggested.
“Okay,” Maya said, heading to the refrigerator to fiddle with the magnets.
They had quite a nice collection of them stuck on there now. Ash’s dad had bought them alphabet and number magnets when Maya started kindergarten. But it was the Muppet ones that Maya loved arranging and rearranging most.
Ash grabbed a loaf of bread and stuck two slices in the toaster before pulling out the jar of peanut butter, two plates, and a knife.
He watched Maya as he waited for the toaster. Today, she was mostly playing with Kermit and Miss Piggy, putting them in one corner of the fridge together with baby Kermit.
A moment later, the toast popped up and he placed both slices on one of the plates and headed to the small table.
He’d gone to the church thrift shop to buy everything but their beds, so the table was well-used already, the blue-painted legs faded, and the oak top scuffed and patterned with rings from generations of coffee cups and glasses of lemonade.
Something about that humble patina made him feel happy, like maybe he and Maya would make years of cozy memories at this table too.
Maya trailed over and climbed onto the chair opposite his to watch him open the peanut butter.
His heart ached as he thought about the task ahead of him, helping his little girl navigate a complicated and shifting family dynamic.
You can do this, Tailor, he reminded himself.
“Did you know that your mom might be having a baby?” he asked casually. For all he knew, she had told Maya already, though he doubted it.
“No,” she said looking up.
“How would you feel about that?” he asked her lightly.
She frowned.
“Would the baby live with us?” she asked him after a moment.
“No, I don’t think so,” he told her. “The baby will live with your mom and Hayden.”
“Oh, good,” Maya said. “The creek is very dangerous, especially in wintertime. We don’t want the baby to go in there.”
Ash just managed to hide his smile.
He had talked to Maya many, many times about how dangerous it would be for her to try to play in the icy creek by herself. He’d stressed with her that they could only move into a house with a creek because she was a big girl, and she knew better than to scramble down the snowy bank without her dad.
“What do you think about Hayden?” he asked her.
“He’s nice,” Maya said, shrugging. “But he doesn’t like to play hide-and-go-seek tag.”
“Okay,” Ash said, figuring that was a pretty honest answer. Even if it wasn’t personal, it at least told him that she didn’t seem to have big feelings about the man, one way or the other.
He took a deep breath, wondering why this was so hard for him when Libby hadn’t seemed to give it a second thought.
“How would you feel about it if I had a girlfriend?” he asked her.
“I don’t know,” Maya said, shrugging again.
“What if it was Miss Lawrence?” he asked her.
“Yes,” Maya said instantly, her eyes lighting up. “Miss Lawrence loves games.”
“That’s true,” Ash said, smiling.
“Will Miss Lawrence live with us?” Maya asked. “Is she having a baby?”
“No, no,” Ash said right away. “We would just go on dates, at least at first. She would live at her own house, and she’s not having a baby.”
Maya frowned as she gazed at the toast on the plate, and he felt like he could see the wheels turning in her head.
“What are you thinking about, Maya?” he asked softly after a moment.
He’d sort of sped through the baby thing, hoping she wouldn’t dwell on the idea that her mom was having another baby that would live with her.
Libby had basically given full custody of Maya to Ash and only visited occasionally.
The idea that Maya might feel that she was being replaced in some way hurt him deeply.
“I was thinking that toast is better with peanut butter and jelly,” Maya said, giving him a meaningful look.
“Oh,” he said, relieved. “Of course, I’ll get the strawberry jam.”
“That’s nice, Daddy,” Maya said, smiling up at him.
He felt a rush of gratitude that almost took his breath away.
Ash just hoped that he could handle everything well, so that his amazing daughter could grow up happy and confident.
Thinking of adults that were happy and confident made him wonder how Allie Lawrence liked her toast.