Chapter 18 Allie
ALLIE
Allie stood on the pavilion, warming up with the rest of the choir as the sun set that evening.
It had been a beautiful day full of new surprises, old traditions, friends, family, and most of all, Maya and Ash.
Now that the sunset was casting the snowy park in rose and golden hues, it was hard not to look back at the last two weeks and the possible path that seemed to be open before her.
She smiled as she thought about sitting at the diner and reading the menu with Maya.
With the engagement ring twinkling on her finger, people she had known since childhood had been smiling at her like they were all in on a happy secret while Ash sat opposite her, a thoughtful expression on his face.
Allie’s feelings about Maya were uncomplicated.
The little girl was so filled with kindness, joy, and curiosity. She struggled with her energy and focus, but Allie understood that feeling completely and knew just how to support her, which seemed almost like fate.
She wanted nothing more than to share her life with Maya forever, to love her and enjoy her and see her grow up to be the amazing woman she would one day be.
But were her feelings for Maya a good enough reason to get serious with Ash?
She looked out over the sweet little town she had always loved and saw him standing hand in hand with Maya, the two of them chatting excitedly as they looked up at the big tree.
Ash was the total package—handsome, driven, and clearly very interested in Allie.
Honestly, when she imagined finding the right guy someday, she had never been so bold as to think she would wind up with a man who owned a business or looked like an athlete.
She figured she would fall in love with a farmer, or maybe someone who worked at one of the small businesses in town.
Ash was respectful and kind too, and he was hitting it off so well with her family.
But something was still holding her back.
Ash had told her he wanted to get to know her better. But what if Tripp was right? What if that only meant he wanted something more out of this fake relationship, something she wasn’t willing to give?
Why don’t I feel those flutters?
“You okay?” Becca asked, sidling up to her.
“Oh, hey,” Allie said. “I’m fine. Just daydreaming, I guess.”
“He’s really gorgeous,” Becca said, looking down at Ash. “And you have such a bond with Maya. It’s a Christmas miracle, isn’t it?”
Allie nodded, not daring to give voice to her worries when she was supposed to be pretending to be engaged.
“Okay, here we go,” Marge, the choir director, said softly.
Allie hurried to her place as the fiery ball of the sun disappeared over the tops of the shops.
As they sang the opening notes of “The First Noel,” her heart began to lighten. The cold, clear air gave the sweet melody a hauntingly lovely quality.
There was something so beautiful about adding her voice to the others and feeling a part of something bigger than herself—telling a story so important that although it happened thousands of years ago, it still had people singing.
The park was hushed as the timeless songs spilled out over the gathering, filling every heart with peace. Even if it was only momentary, Allie felt a bottomless gratitude for this escape from her mundane concerns, and for the deep sense of fellowship she felt with her community.
Too soon, they were finishing the last song and Marge led them down from the pavilion to join the rest of the town in front of the big tree.
Allie moved into the crowd with Maya waving to her and jumping up and down in her excitement. Allie smiled and made her way over to join her favorite little girl in the world.
“You sang,” Maya said. “And you remembered all the words.”
“Yes,” Allie said. “I’ve sung them every year for a very long time, so it’s easy now. Would you like to sing in the choir one day?”
“Maybe,” Maya said. “We have presents to put under the tree for people who had a hard year.”
Allie glanced up at Ash and smiled. It was good of him to phrase it that way. She heard kids use the phrase “poor people” all the time, but her dad had always said that hard times came to everyone, and it was best to just lend a hand whenever you didn’t need help yourself.
Ash smiled back and there was a hint of warmth in his gaze that she was certain hadn’t been there before.
“That’s so lovely,” Allie told Maya approvingly. “When people need help, we help them, right?”
“Right,” Maya said firmly.
The mayor took the stage and Allie turned her attention to the proceedings, although she was barely paying attention.
Even as the mayor thanked the town and named the Christmas Star, her mind kept going to Ash and Maya.
Maya squealed with joy as the countdown to the lighting of the tree began.
“Three,” everyone called out. “Two, one.”
Suddenly, the big tree was illuminated. No matter how many times Allie had witnessed the sight, it always seemed like magic.
“Oh,” Maya sighed, going quiet as she leaned against Allie’s side and gazed up at the tree in wonder.
“It always takes my breath away,” Allie whispered.
The next thing she knew, Ash had his arm around her, pulling both of them close to him. First she smelled the spice of his aftershave, and then she felt the warmth of his arms enveloping her.
As he pressed his lips to her head again, she closed her eyes, soaking in the feelings that rushed through her chest.
Is this love? Is that why I’m so afraid?
She’d had plenty of crushes growing up and she knew the heady feeling of wondering if the boy she liked would notice her. But this was something deeper. There was nothing frantic about it. This was a soul-deep pull, telling her that the people who held her were her people.
I have to give this a real chance.
She opened her eyes and turned to Ash to tell him she wanted this to work.
But when she did, she saw that Maya’s mother and Hayden were standing beside him. That was why he’d suddenly felt the need to show off his feelings for her.
It’s all an act.
The weight of her bitter disappointment felt like an anchor on her heart, but she tried her best to put on a brave face.
If he can pretend to care about me deeply, I can pretend to be okay with it. Christmas is almost here, and it will be over soon…