Chapter 30
Showing Noah around my hometown was far more enjoyable than I expected.
He didn’t seem to mind that we avoided the glamorous shops and restaurants on the foreshore.
Instead, I took him to my favorite places, like the old candy store that made its own homemade treats and the doughnut van that usually had a line a mile long in the summer.
There was the graffiti-covered alleyway with a portrait of the ocean that was popular with visiting Instagram influencers and the lighthouse that overlooked the bay.
Each time I showed Noah another part of my home, it felt like I was revealing another part of myself.
He loved each and every bit of it, and I hoped he also liked the more he saw of me.
I saved the best part for last. After the lighthouse, I took Noah down one of the winding paths that led to the ocean. I didn’t take him to the main beach our town overlooked. Instead, I took him to a small secluded cove none of the tourists seemed to know about.
I pulled my shoes off as soon as we reached the shore and breathed in the salty air as my toes sank into the sand. There was a gentle breeze today, but the sea was surprisingly still, and the water wasn’t its usual deep shade of blue. Today it reminded me more of Noah’s green eyes.
The beach was small and protected by headlands that jutted into the water at either end of the sand. I’d always appreciated the spot most in the early morning light when the sun’s colors danced across the horizon, but even in the middle of the day, there was something enchanting about it.
“This is our best kept secret,” I said, gesturing toward the water. “None of the tourists know it’s here. So you often get the beach all to yourself.”
“I can see why you keep it to yourselves,” Noah replied.
I shared a smile with him. “And now you’ve seen Rapid Bay. There’s not much here, but it’s home.”
“It’s beautiful,” Noah said. “And much more peaceful than growing up in New York.”
Everyone thought Rapid Bay was beautiful, but hearing Noah say it meant more to me than I expected.
It almost felt like I needed him to approve of where I was from.
I guess I wanted reassurance that maybe we weren’t as different as I feared.
“I love it, but it must feel a bit boring compared to life in the city.”
“I’d much prefer to live here,” he murmured.
I thought perhaps he was simply being nice.
Living in Rapid Bay might have meant being close to this beautiful beach, but life here wasn’t always simple, and it definitely wasn’t easy.
There was no way Noah would want to live here if it meant stressing over money and squeezing into a tiny apartment above a café.
That wouldn’t be Noah’s life if he lived here though.
No, he’d be living like a prince in one of the large homes on the foreshore, so life here probably did seem appealing to him.
“I’m serious,” he said, having caught my doubtful expression. “You have people here that really care about you. I’d give anything for that.”
I was surprised it was the people rather than the place that appealed to Noah, and I didn’t like the flicker of sorrow that flashed across his gaze.
It made me wonder what his home life was like.
I knew his dad was gone and his mom was rarely around.
I’d lived my whole life without a dad, but my mom was the closest person to me in the world.
I couldn’t imagine what it must be like for Noah without either of his parents in his life.
“You mentioned before that your grandfather is there for you though, right?”
“I guess.” He shrugged. “It’s not quite the same.
He doesn’t worry about me like your mom worries about you.
He wouldn’t care that I’d left school and borrowed his jet unless he needed it for business.
Then he’d be furious. He is many things, but a grandfather is not one of them.
I’m just a piece of clay he’s constantly trying to mold into shape.
He wants me to be just like him and doesn’t care what it takes to make me that way. ”
I had no idea how to respond. Noah’s face had turned hard, but his voice was filled with pain.
He was looking out to sea like he wanted to dive in and swim away from all his problems. I felt like maybe I’d gotten a glimpse into his world after meeting my father.
Matthew wanted to make me more like him—more like a LaFleur—but I still had my mom so I didn’t feel pressured to cave to Matthew’s demands like Noah did with his grandfather.
Plus, I’d only had to deal with it for a couple of weeks.
Noah must have been putting up with that pressure his whole life.
I couldn’t find the words, so I reached out and took Noah’s hand in mine. I gave it a tight squeeze, and he glanced down at our entwined fingers like it confused him, like he wasn’t sure how to react to the offer of support.
“I’m sorry your family isn’t there for you like they should be,” I said. It broke my heart that he didn’t have someone looking out for him—that the one person constantly in his life only wanted him if he acted a certain way. That wasn’t family.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not. Even the toughest of us need to feel loved, and I think you deserve it more than anyone.”
His brow creased, and he turned away from me slightly. “You’re looking at me like I’m damaged.”
“No, I don’t think you’re damaged, but it sounds like you’re trapped in the image of what people want you to be. I feel like I’m just starting to see the real you, and I like it so much better than the guy you show the world. The guy they force you to be.”
He shook his head, unable to meet my eyes. “No one wants to see the real me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” Luther had told me Noah was the heart of their group. I hadn’t believed it at the time, but it was so easy now to see why. He cared deeply—almost too deeply. And the fact he did so despite not being surrounded by love himself growing up only made him more special.
He slowly faced me again. “You really think that, don’t you?”
“It’s hard not to after what you’ve done for me today.”
Noah reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear, making my heart beat faster. It was impossible to ignore the connection between us when he was so close, and the invisible strings that tied us together seemed to pull taut, edging us closer still.
He drew in a deep breath as he gazed at me. “It would be so easy to fall in love with you, Isobel.”
Out of context, those words would have left me feeling giddy, but his voice was quiet, almost strained, and given the glimmer of uncertainty I caught in his eyes, I knew there was more he wasn’t saying.
“But …” I whispered, urging him to continue.
“But.” He flinched slightly at the word. “After seeing your home today, I wonder if it would be such a good idea.”
“I thought you liked my home …” I stopped as the truth hit me. “You didn’t realize I was quite so poor. That I’m not good enough for you.”
“No.” He quickly shook his head. “Hell no. If anything, you’re too good for me. My life is complicated, and I don’t want to drag you into my family mess. You deserve so much better than that.”
I nodded. Not because I agreed with him but because I could relate.
I had a family mess of my own, and my life was no longer as simple as it once was.
It felt tangled and chaotic, and his words were the reality check I needed.
They were the warning I’d been waiting for.
And yet, despite all reason, I’d given up trying to accept this was a bad idea.
“Shouldn’t it be up to me what I do or don’t deserve?”
“It should,” he murmured. “And I’m far too weak when it comes to you to try and convince you otherwise.”
I stared out at the ocean as I processed what he’d said. “You’re not the only one who’s weak.” It took me a moment to realize I’d whispered the words aloud, and when I glanced at Noah, I could see he was waiting for me to explain.
“I’ve felt something between us since the moment we met,” I said. “I tried fighting it, but you can see how well that’s worked out for me …”
“Why did you want to fight it?”
I didn’t know what to tell him. I’d had such a long list of reasons a few weeks ago, but it had been getting shorter by the day. I had to just be honest with him.
“I recently had my heart broken,” I started.
“It nearly wrecked me. I’m still piecing myself back together, so I guess I was worried that if I were to trust a guy with my heart again so soon and the same thing happened there would be nothing left to fix.
” I blew out a long breath. “The thing that worries me the most is that we’re so different.
How could a pair like us ever have a future? ”
“There’s nothing wrong with being different.”
I let out a sad laugh. “You’ve seen where I come from, and it’s nothing like the world you live in. I don’t fit in. I probably never will. It feels like we’d be destined to fail.”
He didn’t say anything as he stared into my eyes. His gaze was discerning, and a lump formed in my throat because, as much as I wanted him to be logical, I also wasn’t ready to give up on the connection between us.
When he finally spoke, his voice was deep and his eyes unyielding.
“You say that like it’s already written in the stars,” he said.
“As someone who has had their fate mapped out since the moment he was born, I can tell you that it doesn’t matter how much has been planned.
At the end of the day, we are the ones that decide whether to accept it. ”
He was closer to me now. Standing so near I could feel the heat of his body against mine. His hand crept up to caress the side of my face, and I leaned in, unable to fight the pull I felt to him.
“Whatever this is between us,” I whispered. “It could end in disaster.”
“Then let’s make it worth the pain.”