Chapter Five
Madelaine kept her eyes on the road, hands steady on the wheel even as, two hours in, everything inside her felt anything but solid. Fourteen hours left in a car with Jack Grey.
What had she been thinking?
Five years ago, she would have called it a dream. Now it felt like a test she wasn’t sure she could pass.
Beside her, Jack shifted, one arm braced against the door, long legs stretched out as much as the luxury sedan allowed. He’d said hardly anything since they’d left Alienn, just given directions when needed, like this was any ordinary road trip.
It wasn’t. Nothing about this was ordinary.
“You always grip the wheel like that?” he asked abruptly.
She blinked. “Like what?”
“Like you’re about to outrun something.”
Her fingers loosened slightly. “Old habit.”
“From?”
She hesitated.
“From…traveling alone,” she said, carefully neutral. “You learn to stay alert.”
Jack hummed, obviously unconvinced.
Silence settled again, thick but not entirely uncomfortable. It was sort of familiar. Like slipping into a memory that you weren’t quite ready to revisit.
A mile passed. Then another.
“Thank you for coming. I realize that you didn’t have to do this,” she said quietly.
He turned his head toward her. She could feel it without looking.
“Sure,” he said.
Her throat tightened. “Why did you agree to come with me? I know it wasn’t really because of the bachelor auction proxy winning bid.”
A beat went by. He said, “Because you asked.”
That hit harder than it should have.
Madelaine swallowed, focusing on the road stretching ahead in a long, straight line.
“I wasn’t sure you would say yes.”
“Didn’t think I’d still care?” he asked, not unkindly.
She shrugged to hide the flinch that question inspired. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Another silence. This one sharper.
She needed to explain a little. Quell-don and the council wouldn’t like it, but she wanted to give him something.
“The thing is, the job I have now, well…it’s complicated.”
“That’s one word for disappearing and cutting off all communication,” he muttered.
Guilt stabbed through her.
“Honestly, I didn’t have a choice.”
Jack let out a short breath, something between a laugh and frustration. “You always had a choice, Madelaine.”
“No,” she said, more firmly than she intended. “Not this time.”
That shut him up.
For a moment.
“What is this thing?” he asked. “This errand?”
“I told you—”
“You told me nothing,” he cut in. “We’re driving sixteen hours to meet the Secret Keeper, maybe, if he even deigns to let us inside—which he might not, so be prepared for disappointment—and you won’t even tell me why.”
She almost smiled at that.
Almost.
“I can’t.”
“Can’t,” he repeated. “Or won’t?”
“Both.”
He leaned back, dragging a hand through his hair. “That’s comforting. Not.”
“I didn’t ask you to trust the situation,” she said. “Just…me.”
Jack turned his head again, watching her. Really watching.
“That’s the problem,” he said. “I do.”
Her breath caught.
“Trust you, that is. However, the last time I did that,” he continued, voice lower, “you broke my heart.”
The words landed with quiet precision.
Madelaine’s vision blurred for a split second before she blinked the tears away.
“I didn’t want to,” she whispered. “I swear it.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Well. You did.”
She nodded, because there was no denying it.
They drove in silence for several miles after that, the hum of the engine filling the space where words had failed.
Finally, she thought of perhaps a less fraught subject to discuss. “How’s your family?”
It was a fragile offering. A shift. The best she could do.
Jack exhaled slowly, tension easing in the car, just a fraction.
“They’re all good,” he said. “Same as always. Mom and Dad still travel around the country in their RV. We’re lucky if we hear anything on a monthly basis, but they seem very happy.”
“What do you do for a job, Jack? I’ve always wondered where you landed.”
“Actually, I work in security belowstairs at the Big Bang Truck Stop.”
“Really? Security?” She would never have thought he’d become a company man.
“Well, mostly I do computer stuff, not kicking down doors or packing a gun. Found out I have a knack for computer languages and figuring things out in the cyber world.”
“Huh. Never would have pegged you for security or computers. What made you go in that direction?
He glanced at her, a ghost of a smile tugging at his mouth. “Well, I was pretty groundless for a few years. It was time to settle into something.”
“Why were you groundless?” The foolish question was out of her mouth before she could stop it. Why was talking to Jack making her so socially feeble?
He answered her foolish question anyway. “Because I was waiting for someone.”
Her heart stumbled and her eyes burned. She nodded. “Oh.” Not the most articulate thing she could say, but it was all she could manage.
“Yeah. Turns out,” he added lightly, “that was not a great investment for the length of time I spent doing it.”
She winced. “You’re right. And I deserve that.”
“Yeah,” he said again. More softly, he said, “Maybe.”
She risked a glance at him.
He was looking out the window, jaw set, but there was something else there, too. Something unresolved. Something not entirely closed off.
She saw hope. Dangerous, fragile hope. But she couldn’t indulge in hope. She didn’t get to keep him.
Madelaine turned her gaze back to the road, pulse unsteady.
Thirteen hours and forty-five minutes to go.
This was going to be harder than she thought.
Jack hadn’t planned on saying yes to helping the woman who had broken his heart. It was just such a shock. Madelaine back in Alienn. Needing him to do her a favor. Stunner. That was the absolute truth.
When Madelaine Archer walked back into his life—looking exactly the same and completely different—his instinct had been to walk away, no, to run far, far away.
He needed to protect what was left of his pride. His heart.
Instead, here he was, facing just shy of fourteen more hours in a luxury sedan, heading to Suspicion, Minnesota, and possibly an impromptu meeting with the Secret Keeper because she’d asked him to.
He glanced at her.
Madelaine sat straight-backed behind the wheel, eyes fixed ahead like she was afraid if she looked anywhere else, everything might fall apart.
Also, she looked tired. Not physically. Deeper than that.
“You always this quiet?” he asked. “That didn’t used to be true.”
“Perhaps.” She huffed a small breath. “You always this talkative?”
“Only when I’m trying not to think too much.”
That earned him a sideways glance. “About what?”
He shrugged. “Bad decisions.”
She almost smiled. Almost.
That did something to his chest.
“So,” he said, shifting in his seat. “The Secret Keeper. Can you share what you plan to chat with him about? And, do I get to accompany you or am I expected to cool my jets and wait in the car while you attempt a visit?”
She tensed instantly.
Yep. Touchy subject. She likely was choosing option number two—leaving him to go crazy with wonder while he sat in the car. That’s what Quell-don and the Paladin Cabal would expect, but she would need him to get in to see the Secret Keeper.
“Well, I guess you’ll have to come with me, to get me in the door. But I will need to speak to him privately if he agrees to meet me,” she said carefully.
“You’ve got to give me something, Madelaine.”
Her grip tightened on the wheel. Her expression shifted from thoughtful to rigid.
“I told you. I can’t.”
“Right. Top secret, dire, end-of-the-world, men-in-black kind of thing, right?”
She didn’t respond. Which was…not at all reassuring.
Jack studied her profile, the stubborn set of her jaw.
“You’re in trouble.” It wasn’t a question.
She shook her head. “No. Not in trouble.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes.”
“Because this feels like trouble.”
She let out a slow breath. “I’m not in trouble. It’s just…very important. The timely completion of the errand is imperative.”
He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Then why me? Beyond my possible access to the Secret Keeper, which I still can’t promise to deliver.”
That got her attention.
She looked at him fully. “I understand the possible limitation. But let’s hope for the best, shall we?”
“Sure. But again—why me?
“Because even though you may not really trust me, the fact is, I trust you.”
The words came without hesitation. That hit him square in the chest. Jack swallowed, looking away. “Funny,” he muttered. “Could’ve fooled me five years ago.”
Silence followed.
He almost regretted saying it.
Almost.
“I guess part of me thought I was protecting you,” she said.
He scoffed. “By leaving and never contacting me until the bachelor auction?”
“By staying away and not communicating after the first letter I sent.”
“Yeah, that worked out great. I wrote to you for several months before a package arrived with all the previous months’ worth of my letters returned unceremoniously, unopened and unread. That was not fun, by the way.”
She flinched. “I didn’t get the letters, Jack. Once I started the…program…any communication from the outside wasn’t allowed. If I’d known in advance, I would have told you. And I likely wouldn’t have even sent the first letter.”
Damn it.
Jack scrubbed a hand over his face. “Look, I’m not trying to be mean here, but—”
“It’s okay,” she cut in. “You’re right.”
That stopped him.
“Am I?”
“Yes.” Her voice was steady, even if her eyes weren’t.
“I know that I hurt you. And I don’t get to pretend I didn’t.
Lots of what happened was out of my control.
But that doesn’t make it acceptable. I get that.
” Her expression hardened once more into that rigid mien, like she’d silently gone into warrior mode.
Jack stared at her.
This wasn’t the Madelaine he remembered.
Or maybe it was.
She was just…a little worn down.
“What happened to you?”
She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m not supposed to tell you that, either.”
“Of course you aren’t,” he said, but he didn’t add any bite this time.
They rode in quiet, the kind that wasn’t empty so much as full of things unsaid.
After a while, he said, “You asked about my family.”
She nodded slightly.
“Every single one of my siblings is married. Even my sister. Valene has twins now, too.”
“Really? That’s sweet. Did she marry that sheriff she had a crush on?” Madelaine asked with a soft smile shaping her lips.
“Yes, she did. Wyatt Campbell.”
“Did your family ever ask about me?” She sounded like she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.
Jack looked out the windshield, watching the road stretch endlessly ahead.
“At first, but I told them you were gone.”
A beat.
“Not dead,” he added. “Just…gone. Later, I told them about how you had an opportunity, but had to go to Alpha-Prime. And after several months of me looking miserable, they didn’t seem to have the heart to ask me about you anymore. I was grateful.”
Madelaine nodded, eyes glistening. “That sounds about right.”
He glanced at her again. Something in him shifted.
“You don’t have to do this alone, you know.”
She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Yes. I really do.”
“No,” he said firmly. “You don’t. Maybe I could help you. I mean, more than just for this special errand.”
She looked at him again, really looked.
“You don’t understand what I’m part of now.”
“Then help me understand.”
“I…can’t.”
“Then trust me, like you said you did.”
The words hung there.
Echoing.
Madelaine’s expression softened, something vulnerable breaking through.
“That’s the problem, Jack,” she whispered. “I do trust you. But if I let you in…I might not be able to let you go again.”
His heart kicked hard at that.
“Maybe,” he said, voice low, steady, “I don’t want you to.”
She looked away.
And for the first time since this whole thing started, Jack thought—
Maybe this trip wasn’t just about some secret errand.
Maybe it was about them.
And whether what they had five years ago…
Was really completely over and done.