11. Dulcie
DULCIE
L ater that night, Dulcie watched as West lifted a sleeping Elizabeth from her car seat and carried her effortlessly up to the house.
West was usually so calm and sophisticated. It was easy to forget that he was still a farm boy at heart, raised on manual labor, and strong as an ox. Right now, she couldn’t help noticing the way his muscles flexed through his coat.
Stop staring at him, she reminded herself, jogging up the porch steps to get the door for him.
But it was a little late for that. She was pretty sure West’s whole family was swiftly figuring out that she had a crush on him. His mom kept giving her knowing glances, and Allie had asked her outright if something was going on with them.
Dulcie had denied it, but she’d been so mortified that she just stammered out something stupid that she couldn’t even remember. And she was pretty sure she’d blushed from her hairline to her toes. Her own feelings had probably been crystal clear to Allie.
The only person who wasn’t thinking about it seemed to be West himself.
And maybe that was just as well. She’d never felt less worthy than she had when she was watching him at his office today.
West wasn’t just older and established in life, he was educated and generous.
He didn’t need a silly girl like Dulcie falling head over heels for him.
He deserved a partner who was important like he was, a serious person.
“Hey,” he whispered as they stepped into the warmth of the house. “I’m going to put her to bed. Can we chat for a second after?”
“Sure,” she whispered back.
He disappeared up the stairs, leaving her alone in the hall to wonder what was going on.
She found herself drawn to the living room.
The dim space twinkled with the colorful lights of the Christmas tree.
From the moment she first stepped into West and Elizabeth’s house, the fresh pine scent of the tree had made Dulcie feel like she was a character in a holiday movie, coming back home after being dumped by a big-city boyfriend, or getting amnesia in a skiing accident.
In all her life, she had never had a real Christmas tree, let alone one with old-fashioned lights and homemade ornaments in addition to the generic balls from the dime store.
A pretty glass globe hanging from a red ribbon with Elizabeth’s tiny handprints in red and green paint drew her attention. She reached out, but didn’t dare to touch the delicate orb .
“There you are,” West said from the doorway.
He flicked on the floor lamp with the switch on the wall, filling the room with a golden glow. Dulcie drew her hand back, feeling guilty, but he strode in with a gentle smile on his face.
“I love that one,” he said, his deep voice sending a little thrill down her spine as he came to stand beside her and admire the glass globe.
“She made it last year in preschool. It was her first year there, and she was so proud to give me the box on Christmas morning. The teachers helped them wrap their gifts and everything.”
“That’s so nice,” Dulcie said, imagining the look of overjoyed anticipation that must have been on Elizabeth’s little face.
“Can we sit?” West asked.
She glanced up at him to find his dark eyes filled with concern, like maybe he was going to bring up something uncomfortable.
I trust him, she reminded herself. He’s a kind person. Even if it’s something bad, he won’t kick me out in the snow tonight.
“Of course,” she said, darting over to the couch and perching on the edge of it.
Instead of sitting beside her, West settled into the easy chair opposite, and she found herself feeling a little pang of disappointment. She had known he wasn’t sitting her down to tell her he liked her or anything, but it stung anyway.
“Elizabeth’s babysitter needs to spend the next couple of weeks with her daughter,” West said right away.
“Now I know you’re looking for farm-related work that might look good on a resume someplace else.
But… well, Elizabeth adores you, so I have to ask.
Would you be willing to watch her for me starting on Monday?
It’s just until after the holidays when her preschool starts up again.
You can think about it if you want. You don’t need to answer me tonight. ”
“ Yes ,” Dulcie said almost before he’d finished speaking. “Definitely. That would be awesome. I’d love to.”
“You would?” West asked, fixing her in his dark gaze, as if he wanted to be sure she was telling the truth.
She felt herself blush and hoped like anything that the soft light of the lamp wasn’t enough for him to notice.
“I wouldn’t lie to you, West,” she said, her voice going a little husky. “I would love to spend the next few weeks with Elizabeth.”
There was a slight pause and she saw him swallow hard.
“Thank you,” he said, before she had a chance to figure out what that pause had meant. “I know you probably don’t have a lot of experience with kids, so I’ll write everything down for you over the weekend and you can call me or my mom anytime you have a question, or if you just want reassurance.”
“I watched my baby sister a lot growing up,” she said, not exactly wanting to say she had practically raised her herself. “She’s a lot younger than me, so I know what to do. I’ll still call if I’m ever not sure about anything though.”
“You did?” he asked, looking a little surprised.
“Yeah,” she said. “It was just the two of us a lot. My mom passed away when my sister was little, and my dad… He was really sad after that.”
It was true. He was really sad. He was also really drunk and really angry and really not interested in raising two motherless girls. But she couldn’t bear to share something so ugly in West’s sweet home.
In a place like this, it felt almost impossible that the real world could exist or that bad things could happen. And besides, none of that mattered right now—West just wanted to be sure she knew how to keep a child safe.
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” West said, his voice a little rough. “Sounds like you had to grow up too quickly.”
“Everyone has to grow up too quickly,” she said, smiling. “Besides, you understand, since you’re taking care of Elizabeth on your own?—”
She cut herself off, feeling terrible for nosing around in his business.
“That’s true,” he said, nodding. “Her mother left fairly early on. But I’ve got so much family around here that we’re just fine.”
“How could she leave?” Dulcie heard herself wonder out loud and cursed herself again.
West frowned like he was trying to find a way to explain it.
“She wasn’t really interested in any of this,” he said finally, shrugging.
“Any of what?” Dulcie asked.
“Living on a farm in the middle of nowhere,” he said, shrugging. “Being a mom…”
He sounded so resigned. It was almost like he agreed with her. But that was impossible.
“You’re saying that she didn’t want a beautiful home, a big family, and an adorable little girl?” Dulcie asked. “What did she want?”
“She wanted to not be my wife,” he said simply.
His eyes sank to his hands and for just a moment, instead of seeing West the doctor, or West the father, Dulcie saw West the man—a man who was hurting.
“Then she’s a fool,” she said softly.
His eyes flashed up to hers at that and for just an instant, she saw an expression of naked hunger cross his face. She felt the weight of his gaze on every part of her, and suddenly her heartbeat was skittering and her skin felt too warm.
Is this real? Does he feel it too?
West stood quickly and cleared his throat, and the moment was gone, as if it had never happened.
I’m an idiot. I all but told him I’m falling for him and now he’s running away.
“I’m going to head up,” he said, his voice a little husky. “Elizabeth sometimes has a rough morning if she’s missed her nap the day before.”
Guilt twisted her belly. Why had she been so greedy, dreaming of falling in love with the man instead of just being grateful to him for taking her in?
“I can get up with her,” Dulcie offered, scrambling to her feet. “It’s not a problem.”
Please don’t let him change his mind about keeping me here.
“That’s okay,” West said, the hint of a smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. “You’re doing so much for us already. I’m glad you’re here, Dulcie Bloom. ”
She smiled up at him, completely smitten.
“Goodnight,” he said.
“Goodnight,” she echoed.
He turned and left, but Dulcie stayed right where she was for another minute, trying to piece together what had just happened.
Growing up the way she had, Dulcie had learned to trust her instincts, and those instincts were telling her that there was something between them. Sparks of that wild expression and his hidden smile still sent little shocks through her heart.
But if West didn’t want to acknowledge it, then wild horses wouldn’t drag her feelings out of her again.
Besides, she didn’t need him to love her back. Just being here, in a safe and happy home, with people to take care of was all she had ever dreamed of. And she would be earning money too, which gave her hope that she might see her sister again soon.
This is like a fairytale, she thought to herself. I’m going to hold onto it with everything I’ve got.