Chapter Twelve
Chapter
Twelve
Beulah
The three and a half hours I slept seemed like I barely closed my eyes. The alarm went off by my head and for a moment I was back at home; a school morning and I was going to hit the snooze, but when I peeled my eyes open to find the blasted noisy alarm I saw the washing machine. And I remembered I wasn’t home. I wasn’t in school anymore. Home was no more.
Yawning, I stretched, and my calves burned. My feet ached, and my eyes felt raw as if I’d cried all night. But I hadn’t, so I lay there and stared at the ceiling. A fancy ceiling for a basement. It was white with crown molding, like the rest of the house. Ornate even.
I wondered how many mornings Ms. Charlotte had laid here and stared at that ceiling. Had she ever wanted to quit? Or had she loved working here? I couldn’t imagine loving, working daily for the Van Allan’s. They weren’t a happy bunch.
I also wondered if it was easier to work here when your shoes fit as I wiggled my toes, dreading putting mine on, laying here not getting breakfast cooked. I hoped Jasper sat and ate his meal here this morning. I had to talk to him. There was a chance Stone had already told him. When I’d gotten in last night, and my code for the door still worked, I found that to be a positive. At least I hadn’t been evicted and booted from the premises.
With great reluctance, I crawled from bed and got dressed, leaving my shoes for last before I went upstairs. The good news was I didn’t have to chase Jasper. He was already in the kitchen. The bad news was that he appeared to be waiting and wasn’t smiling and cheery. The coffee in his hand said he hadn’t just arrived. I’d never seen him awake at six thirty. That was also a negative thing.
“Good morning,” I said before stopping just as I walked into the room. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was prepared for anything. I’d be more prepared if I’d had my coffee, but then again, I was numb from fatigue. This was a conversation I’d gone over in my head several times, especially in the past twenty-four hours. I suppose I was ready enough.
“Late night?” he asked, taking a sip.
“Yes, I’m guessing Winston told you about my second job.”
He frowned. “Second job?”
Oh, so Stone hadn’t told him. Oops. That wasn’t the way I wanted to lead in, though now I’d been led in.
“You need a second job? I thought I paid you well here. Surely there isn’t anything that costs so much in your life you need additional funds?”
I considered telling him about Heidi. It would be easier and make more sense. But I was scared. I’d watched people mistreat her over and over, not wanting the hassle. Could I trust Jasper with something this important? Portia didn’t seem to think I should tell him or at least she had insinuated I shouldn’t. With that, I went in another direction.
“I’m saving to attend college.” There, that had once been the truth. Didn’t make it the truth right now, but I didn’t know Jasper well enough to trust him, and I had to protect my sister.
“Really? What would be your major?”
“Nursing. I plan to go to nursing school.”
He took another drink and then set his cup down. “That’s why you need a second job? You’re making two grand a month. You made thirty-six thousand over the past six months. Even after taxes, I can’t imagine nursing school costing that much?”
“I wanted to be sure I could complete it. Pay it in full upfront.”
He didn’t seem to be satisfied. “What nursing school are you wanting to attend? I would think you’d have all you need working here in just a couple more months. You have no rent, bills, or food costs to weigh you down or hold you back. I assume you own that car. What’ve you spent your money on? Do you have some addiction I need to know about? You don’t look the type. Then again, the dark circles camping under your eyes and the way you came home dressed last night make me question everything.”
He’d seen me come home? I hadn’t seen him. That was why he was up early waiting on me to report. Stone hadn’t told him a thing, which was odd. I’d expected him to.
“That was my uniform. I don’t get to choose what I wear. As for the circles, I’m tired but will adjust. I don’t, nor have I ever, had any form of addiction.”
Maybe it was the exhaustion? Maybe the fear he wouldn’t believe me? But for whatever reason, I decided it was time to tell Jasper the truth. All I could hope was he would understand and not toss me out and accuse me of mooching off his mother. If I told him about Heidi and he didn’t accept my taking care of her and keeping her where she was, I’d leave and work three jobs. Whatever I had to do.
“I have a sister,” I said, knowing I couldn’t go back. I had to tell him everything. Admit it and deal with the outcome. I wasn’t asking for a handout. I wasn’t hoping to get more money out of him. I’d come here simply because my mother told me to. There was no other choice to make.
“Okay, I assume you have a family. What has that got to do with this?”
“She’s my only family. All I have left. Our mother died of pneumonia six months ago. . .” I then paused over the abyss, making sure I knew what I was doing.
“I’m listening,” he said, waiting for me to continue.
I took a deep breath and let it out. I was nervous. This could be a mistake. But I was also tired of keeping this a secret when it wasn’t something I should have to conceal. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t illegal. It was my life. Simple as that.
“Heidi. That’s her name. She got the better name. She is older than me but only by a minute.”
“You have a twin?” he asked, raising his eyebrows, surprised. “I was expecting you to tell me you had a little sister that you had to support on the side. Wasn’t expecting a twin.”
I bit my bottom lip and looked away. The next part was the most important. It was what made me strong yet also vulnerable, all at the very same time. Heidi was my strength, but also, taking care of her was where my fear came from. What if I couldn’t raise the money? What if I failed and she couldn’t live there? What if Jasper fired me right now?
“She’s. . .special. . .the most special person I’ve ever known. She’s been the one person in my life who always made me smile. To remind me there’s always something in life to be happy about, regardless. That joy can come from a hug. Heidi and I aren’t identical. Heidi has Down syndrome. That’s why she’s the oldest. They had to take her out first. We were both early because of it.” I stopped then and waited for a response.
Jasper didn’t say anything. We stood there in silence, a massive weight on my chest, as I waited for him to say something. Or maybe I needed to say more? Keep explaining? Keep going on?
“Where is she now?” Jasper asked.
“A home your mother put her in when I came here after our mother’s death. Among the Spanish Moss. I didn’t want to put Heidi in a home, but I can’t work and take care of her. She needs constant supervision, and our mother did that every day until I got home from school. Then she worked evenings while I took care of Heidi. When I came here, your mother gave me a job and put Heidi in a wonderful place. They’re good to her, and she has friends. But, it’s not cheap, so now I need to work. . .the extra job to pay for the cost.”
Jasper’s forehead was pinched in a frown. “Portia was paying for Heidi’s care? That’s where all the money was going?”
“Yes.”
His frown remained. I felt my stomach knot up.
“Sundays. . .you go to see her?”
“Yes.”
“The cookies,” he released an unamused laugh that held no humor within. “And I thought you’d made them for some guy.”
“She likes cookies and loves cupcakes. And so does the staff. I enjoy taking them treats.”
He sighed and leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “How much does the place cost a month?”
“It was six thousand, but I’m going to see if I can have her moved to a shared room, which will decrease it to four thousand. I can probably swing that with my tips. If I’d known that was an option from the beginning, I would’ve asked for it. But Portia took over, and I was so grateful that I didn’t question her. I also had no idea how much she was paying until this past week, our deal being I worked, and she gave me fifty dollars per week for gas and any other needs; the rest of my pay went to Heidi. There were other places she could’ve put Heidi. I know I could find a more affordable home, but she loves the people there. She’s adjusted, losing mom was harder on her because she didn’t understand. Moving Heidi from the only home she’s ever known to live with strangers was a readjustment on a level it’s hard to fathom. The idea of doing it again breaks my heart. I don’t expect you to pay for that. I agree with you that it was too much. Especially now that I know the cost. If I could be allowed to work the second job, it would help, and I could manage.”
He didn’t say anything at first. I waited. I’d said all I could.
“One last question. Why did you come here? To Portia? I don’t understand that connection.”
I wasn’t sure if Portia wanted him to know. But I was in too deep now. I had to confess it all.
“My mother gave me a piece of paper with Portia’s name and address the day before she died. She was so sick, her fever was high, and she was delirious and worried. She said the hospital bill would break us and refused to let me call an ambulance or take her to the emergency room. She swore she’d be fine. She only had a bad cold. But she gave me the name and number and told me that if something happened, to go to the lady on the paper.” I paused.
“Go on,” he urged.
“When she went to sleep that night, I immediately called 9-1-1. They came and took her, and she was admitted. . .although. . .it was too late. She was too far gone. The day after her funeral, the landlord told me we were behind two months on rent, and he hated to do it, but if we didn’t pay, he’d have to evict us. I packed our things, and we came here. Not knowing what to expect. Portia looked at the note. And then had us come inside. The next day, Heidi was moved to Among the Spanish Moss. I then began working here.”
He was questioning who my mother was. Why Portia would help her? Maybe he could find out. I’d had no luck with his mother. Jasper didn’t appear angry. He was lost in thought, trying to comprehend why Portia had been there when I needed her. I felt guilty telling him all this as if I’d turned on her. She should have been warned. I owed her that. Now, it was too late.
“I know you and your mother have a strained relationship. But she was there for us when we had no place to go. I should’ve prepared her before I told you all of this. It’s not fair that I didn’t.”
His lips tugged up in an almost smile. “Do you worry about everyone, Beulah Edwards?”
“Not any more than anyone else.”
He laughed softly and shook his head. “You’re incredibly na?ve, and I’d question that had I not just listened to your life. To survive, you had to believe in people, and that’s a rarity that requires some naivety, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, it makes you see the best. You can keep your second job. Portia isn’t in trouble.”
Relieved, I sighed and said, “Thank you. Would you like me to make your breakfast now?”
His almost smile remained in place as he picked up his coffee cup and handed it to me. “I make shit coffee. Can you make me some? Yours is better by far. And yes, I’d like something to eat.”
I took his cup and watched him turn. For the first time since he’d arrived here, I didn’t feel fear clawing at my neck. I felt hopeful I could make this work.