Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter
Twenty-Three
Beulah
The smell that filled the room was heavenly. I knew these were Portia’s bath supplies, like the large white, luxurious towel was one from her master bath. I’d been sitting on the bed barefoot when Jasper came back downstairs, carrying a basket full of items. The stuff I needed to mend my feet was piled on top of the basket. He’d handed it to me and said, “Please, Beulah, use all of this.” And that was it. He hadn’t said anything more. He climbed the stairs and left.
I was worried about Monique and Jerry handling the crowd without me. Jasper was clear he didn’t want me up there. I didn’t know how he knew about the shoes for sure, but my guess was Monique told him. She’d not been happy about the situation. Though it wasn’t Jasper’s fault. I was the one who didn’t buy new shoes that fit.
I eased into the water, wincing and exhaling when the warmth covered my feet. I sank down into the bubbles and leaned back against the porcelain. I took showers. I’d never soaked in a bath. Not here. I was always in a hurry. When I lived at home, I did. Mom had a bathtub, and every now and then, I’d put some shampoo underneath the running water to make bubbles and enjoy a bath. This reminded me of those times. However, nothing about that was like this. I hadn’t met Jasper then. My mom was still alive, and I was safe. I wasn’t alone, although tonight, for a moment, I hadn’t felt alone. Jasper cared. He’d been upset. He hadn’t wanted me to be in pain. I closed my eyes and listened for the music and footsteps parading around upstairs. I felt guilty about not helping Monique. I hoped Jasper took care of that.
Within minutes, it was quiet. No music and barely any footsteps. There were a few that dwindled to almost nothing, and I wondered if they’d taken the food outside or began to close it down. It was still early, especially for his parties, and I didn’t think they’d be leaving now. Not with hordes of people up there drinking and swimming, mostly naked.
Because of my stubbornness about the shoes, I’d let Jasper down tonight. He’d helped me so much, but I could not keep going in those stupid shoes. Tomorrow I’d buy new ones. I sent the ones Monique gave me back upstairs with Jasper. He didn’t want me leaving this room or walking around tonight.
Within the hour that I soaked the entire upstairs fell silent. The water cooled, so I stepped from the tub, wrapping myself in the towel Jasper brought me. Every time I washed and folded these towels, I wondered how they must feel, enveloping your entire body. They were the softest and fluffiest towels I’d ever seen or touched. I ran the tip of my nose across the delicate cotton and deeply inhaled the scent. This was beyond any nice that I knew. I didn’t need to get used to it, but for the moment, I could enjoy myself.
Getting into my pajamas didn’t seem as appealing as it normally did before sleep. Still wrapped in Portia’s towel, I indulged a few more minutes. When I took this off, I was washing it and never using one of these again. This wasn’t my life. Towels were for drying yourself and not luxuriating. Wanting and desiring this kind of pampering was a waste of my time and effort. Though for a few seconds more, I pretended it was fine, and I would always remember the feeling.
The moments ticked by, and I finally stood to remove the towel. I went over to the foot of my bed. The suitcase that held my belongings was there. I found some clean panties and the faded pink pajamas I’d had since Momma had given them to me for Christmas when I was sixteen. Heidi had a matching pair. We had our picture taken in front of the tree wearing them. Heidi loved it when momma gave us matching pajamas. She did it every few years, whenever she could afford it, and these were the last ones we’d gotten. I cherished them like they were heirlooms. Sleeping in them brought her close to me.
I packed the bath items back in the basket and put the towel in the washing machine. Then I worked on my feet. The ointment soothed them after I’d soaked, the bath helping immensely, literally sucking out the pain. After that was all taken care of, I looked towards the stairs. Thought about going up there. Then, I stared at my feet, slipping on the socks and doing as Jasper had asked me to do before he left. Not to walk around on them. So, I didn’t move.
The footsteps on the stairs surprised me, and I sat back up from having just laid down as Jasper yelled, “Are you dressed?” I hadn’t expected him again.
“Yes,” I replied, refusing to be embarrassed by my old, faded pajamas. I loved them and didn’t care if they were worn because their memories were intact. What Jasper thought didn’t matter. At least I didn’t want it to. That counted for something, I supposed.
He came around the corner with a tray, holding a cup of tea and a plate of food. He said, “I thought you might be hungry.”
“Thank you, but you’ve got company. You don’t have to keep leaving them to come check on me.”
“Everyone’s gone. I ended it early. Cleared the place out. We have a large portion of leftovers. There’s no need for you to cook the next few days. The caterer left instructions on how to heat things up. But, of course, you know all that.”
Now, I felt even worse. “I’m so sorry, Jasper. I should’ve gotten shoes way before now. I ruined your party and. . .” he sat the tray down on the table beside my bed.
“I didn’t want to have that party. It was pointless and annoying to begin with. I told myself I wanted to have a party. I convinced myself I did. It used to be what I wanted. But lately, things have changed.”
He didn’t look happy about that change. “Work? Is it more than you expected?”
The corner of his mouth tilted up as he looked at me and replied, “Yeah, it is.”
I nodded my head in understanding. “What would make you happy? If not a party?” I wanted Jasper to be happy. It was odd how that became important to me. I just didn’t know what to do to make that happen for him.
He said, “Something I don’t deserve.”
That wasn’t an answer. Not really. I waited, thinking he’d say more. Jasper changed the subject: “Eat. Get full and rest. And don’t come upstairs early. Sleep in and try to recover. When you awaken, you’ll have new tennis shoes. I’m sending for them in the morning. And some socks. Good thick socks. The kind that feel so damn good you don’t want to take them off.”
I laughed. “Okay, but I have socks. You don’t have to get those.”
“You don’t have these socks. You need them. They’re required.”
I started to argue about not needing socks, and then he cut me off, “Beulah, let me buy the socks. I may need to purchase every pair they have. That’s the only way to make the pain in my chest ease whenever I look at your feet.”
My heart squeezed, then did a little flutter. Jasper was caring and showing his concern, which made this worse, and my feelings for the man grew. I wanted to tell him he needed to stop. Quit being so kind. But I couldn’t. I replied, “Okay. Thank you, Jasper. I appreciate this.”
He gave me a relieved smile. “Goodnight, Beulah. See you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight,” I replied. Then I watched him leave. Long after he was gone and the food was finished, I lay in bed still grinning. This thing in my chest, it felt warm, like sunshine. Jasper made me feel all kinds of new things.