Sweet Little Thing

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter

Thirty-Five

Beulah

I’d driven for over an hour with nowhere to go. Tears blurred my vision, my chest ached, and I wanted to curl up in a ball and sob freely. But there was no time for that. I had Heidi to think of. My sister. She was my first concern. Always my first concern. She could never know what I had learned today.

I no longer had a home or a job. I had this car I was driving. I had my sister. That was it. Jasper had said he was going to pay for Heidi’s care ten years in advance but that was all before. I wasn’t sure if he had done that yet and even if he had how could I allow that? Not now. Everything was different.

Just three hours ago, my life had seemed perfect. I’d been happy, and I was almost at the point where I could accept the security that came with Jasper Van Allan’s love. I didn’t blame him because he was also an innocent bystander of the dark past that we were wrapped in. Our circumstances weren’t his fault or mine, but I should have known better than to trust love. It was a dangerous path and ours had uncovered lies and complete devastation.

Among the Spanish Moss, loomed up ahead. I pulled over to take a breath before going to see Heidi. She wouldn’t understand why I was upset. I didn’t want my sister to know the ugliness of the world. Her heart was too big, and her smile was too bright to ruin that joy with reality. The lies that I now knew regarding her birth were secrets I’d keep. Heidi wouldn’t understand them anyway. Not really. She loved our mother as I did. I had always believed that momma had been a saint but now I knew she had surpassed sainthood.

As much as I hated Portia for tossing Heidi away because she’d been born with Down syndrome and that hadn’t fit into her life, I was equally thankful she left her to my mother. It had always been the three of us. A perfect trio that I would always cherish. Our mother had left us with beautiful memories. She had taught us that family was everything.

I pulled off the road and shifted the car into park. Crossing my arms over the steering wheel, I continued to cry. At this point, it seemed to be all I could do. Or maybe just what I needed to do. I would cry and let it all out—my fear, my pain, my disbelief. Then I would dry my face and go see my sister. When I walked inside, I planned to hug Heidi tightly and I would pretend all was well. I could manage this. Momma had been strong, and I would immolate her strength.

Beyond visiting Heidi, I had no idea what to do next. If Heidi had to move out, then the situation would be even more dire. I could live in this car, but she couldn’t. Thinking about that was too much at the moment. It wasn’t going to help me pull myself together.

Just as another loud sob shook my body, the passenger door of my car opened. My head snapped up as tears soaked my face and a scream lodged in my throat when I realized it was Stone taking the seat beside me. His expression was stoic with a determined underlying in the crease between his brows. Surely, he couldn’t blame this on me. I’d not had any idea.

Having him track me down and berate me for hurting Jasper sounded like something he would do. He wanted to find my faults, make me the villain. This time I may hit him if he tried.

“Crying won’t make it go away. Crying has never fucking fixed a damn thing,” he said, looking straight ahead out the window. His jaw clenched tightly accenting his chiseled profile.

“I’m out of his life. What do you want?” I said as my voice cracked. I’d meant it to sound hard and cold like he was but it had failed to hit the mark. I wanted him to leave me alone. There was no reason for him to be here now or ever. He’d gotten his wish. I was out of Jasper’s life.

He turned his head to look at me. “I was expecting this.” His words causing me to close my mouth instead of demanding he get out of my car.

He expected this? How could he have expected this? He hadn’t known what Portia was hiding. I waited for more of an explanation as I wiped at my face some more hating that he was seeing me this weak.

“You want Heidi to stay here, don’t you? She likes it here,” he nodded toward the entrance to Among the Spanish Moss up ahead.

The facility was perfect for Heidi but that wasn’t exactly something I had the money and power to decide.

“It costs too much. Jasper wanted to pay ten years in advance. I don’t know if he did, but I can’t let him, especially now,” I replied a little confused about why he was talking about my sister. Had he ever spoken to me about her? Except to complain that I was going to see her instead of working. I didn’t think so.

He reached over and took my keys out of the ignition. “You shouldn’t be driving like this. You’re too upset. It’s dangerous.”

I shot my arm out to snatch my car keys back from him. “Give me my keys. I’m fine.”

He slipped them into his pocket. “No, Beulah. You aren’t fine. You’re a danger to not only yourself but others on the road. You need to calm down.” He opened the passenger door. “I’ll drive you up there. But you should wait until your face isn’t red and splotchy from crying before seeing your sister. I imagine that would upset her.”

I agreed with him. It was why I had pulled over to begin with. Although, I didn’t want to agree with him about anything ever. Just like I didn’t want him here. Even if for a moment it meant I wasn’t alone. It was Stone. When had he ever wanted to do anything to help me? He hadn’t and he wasn’t about to start now. His sudden appearance made no sense unless- Jasper had sent him.

“He sent you to find me, didn’t he?” I asked him as I sat unmoving in the driver’s seat.

Stone waited a moment, saying nothing. I thought he was going to ignore my question keeping his focus straight ahead not looking back at me. “No,” was his response before he climbed out. I sat and watched him walking around the front of the car with his powerful frame that was even more intimidating than normal. He was tense with a fierceness in his expression. He had come to find me, and I knew the only reason was because Jasper had sent him. He’d have never come looking for me on his own will nor would he have known to. He hadn’t been there when everything blew up. He was lying about Jasper not being why he was here.

Stone stood outside my door looking at me with his arms crossed over his chest. He wasn’t going to let me drive. Arguing with him would do no good and since he had my keys I had no choice.

I sighed and climbed out to face him. “If he didn’t send you to find me then why are you here.”

Stone’s expression remained the same. As if it verged on anger. But who was he angry at?

“I’ve not seen or spoken to Jasper since earlier today in his office.”

That seemed unlikely. He’d tracked me down. Why else would he have done that? He had to be lying. But why?

“What are you doing here then?”

Stone lifted his chin, looking slightly annoyed as he stared at something over my shoulder. “Understand something, Beulah. I’ve never disliked you. It was the lies I hated that would eventually come out. They had to. And when they did, I knew you’d be hurt. I knew you both would be. I was trying to protect Jasper.” He paused and moved his steely gaze back to me. “And I was trying to protect you.”

I shook my head. That must have been a mistake. He couldn’t mean that he knew about Heidi’s birth, or that Jasper was my cousin. If he had known that…no. He was talking about something else. He had to be.

“What lies did you know?” Were there more secrets I didn’t know? I wasn’t sure I could handle more, but I also knew I had to face the truth. Whatever it was.

“Jasper has a good heart. But his life has been easy. It’s been one with little destruction. He has never faced truly dark shit. I have. I see more than I want. I hear more than others want me to hear. When you arrived, I knew there was more to your sudden appearance. Not trusting Portia, I did my own investigating and found the truth easily enough.”

He knew and never said anything? He just let Jasper and me fall in love, knowing our relationship was impossible. “You knew and didn’t tell us? Why not tell Jasper? You want to protect him so badly, yet you let him…you let us go too far.”

He let out a deep chuckle that exuded no warmth or real humor. “Beulah, he would never have believed me. The moment he laid eyes on you, he was done. It was over. I saw it and knew I couldn’t stop what would happen.”

My hands clenched at my sides. “You could have tried!” I spat out.

Stone appeared to be studying the woods behind me with a dark frown on his face. He didn’t respond immediately. I wished he would give me my keys and let me go. He wasn’t a comfort. He was only making this worse. More lies. More people who had kept things from us.

“I didn’t have all the facts until a few days ago. There were things I had to be sure of first. And I tried like hell to keep him from crossing the line,” Stone said as he shifted his gaze back to me. “But he crossed it. And I knew I had to get solid evidence before I showed him. He wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t.”

My teeth ached from the tight clench of my jaw. “Well, you’re too late aren’t you. We know now. Portia gave away her first child to my mother. There is no more evidence we need to see. The birth certificate was enough.”

His eyebrows drew together. “What did Portia tell you?”

I wasn’t rehashing that. Not here. Not now. And not with him. He could talk to Jasper about it. I just wanted him to leave me alone. Go away.

“Ask Jasper,” I retorted bitterness in my tone.

He tilted his head slightly to the side and studied me as if he could read my mind and didn’t need me to tell him anything.

“Then let me tell you what I know. Because I don’t think you have the complete truth,” he began. “In the hospital records, it states that Heidi was born to Portia Van Allan four and a half years after Jasper’s birth.” He looked at me then. “There are also photos in the attic of the Van Allan house that I went looking for specifically. Wanting further proof to the story. The photos are of Portia pregnant in a white gown, with Jasper standing beside her.”

I shook my head not sure I understood this. The timeline being so different than what Portia said and the birth certificate she had shown us verified. “But…she said she was raped? Before she was married to Jasper’s dad. She had Heidi’s birth certificate.”

Stone reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. As he unfolded it, I recognized yet again another birth certificate. When he lifted his eyes to meet mine, he held it out for me to take. “I don’t know what Portia showed you, but this came from the state’s vital records office.”

My hand was trembling as I reached out and took it. The paper felt thicker, there was a stamp on it that the other one hadn’t had. An authenticity to the certificate I hadn’t realized was missing from the one Portia had shown me. The birthdate on this one wasn’t the day we always celebrated our birthday. The date I stared down at was six months and five days after the day I was born. Another twist in my chest at the proof that Heidi wasn’t my twin or even my sister.

“Heidi is a Van Allan. Meaning, half of the Van Allan inheritance belongs to her. She has a right to it. If anyone knew the truth, that the Van Allans had a child and gave her away, there could be lawsuits filed on Heidi’s behalf,” he paused and looked at me directly. “By you.”

I didn’t understand. You couldn’t just give a kid away. People had to know she had another baby. That she had been pregnant. If there were photos with Jasper in the attic they hadn’t been keeping the pregnancy a secret. “She couldn’t have just had a baby, and everyone forgot it existed.” I pointed out.

He gave a short nod of agreement. “That’s what I thought too. Then,” he stopped and took a long, deep breath. I could tell by his posture and the look on his face that I didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want to tell me either it seemed. The pained shadow in his eyes surprised me as much as it scared me.

“There was a small, closed casket funeral for Heidi Clarisse Van Allan, who died at birth.”

What? What! I shook my head in disbelief. “No,” was all I could say. My throat was thick. My chest felt as if a ton of bricks had been dumped on it. How could two humans be so heartless? To claim their child was dead and get rid of it because it’s not what they wanted. My beautiful, sweet sister was the most special person on earth. A burning inside me began to flare up and I realized it was hate. A deeper form of it than I had ever experienced.

“With the Van Allan money, they could pay off anyone to keep the truth about Heidi a secret. They never spoke of her again. The people in their world are so consumed with themselves they don’t care about others. The death of a baby—they sent their condolences, and in time everything was forgotten.” The look on Stone’s face was pure disgust as he described how this could go away so easily.

“They just gave her away. They dropped money and a child on my mother. Then, not another word. There was nothing from them. Heidi is the most perfect human I know. But they didn’t care.” I said the words aloud, trying to comprehend it. I never would, though. They were both monsters—terrible, horrible people with dark souls. I was thankful Heidi never knew them. That she had my mother to love her. Our mother.

“Portia already relies solely on Jasper to keep up her lifestyle. She never wanted him to know about this. But then he fell in love with his cousin. Her sister’s child. She had to do something. Tell you both enough that it would end your relationship but keep Heidi from inheriting fifty percent of the Van Allan empire. The rape was her way of adding an excuse and attempting to get sympathy or at least understanding. She doesn’t want Jasper to know the truth. He will hate her more than he already does. He won’t be able to forgive this, and he will want Heidi to have her portion. She knows that.”

My chest felt like it was going to completely shatter. “How do I face Heidi without breaking apart? I won’t be able to hold her and not weep.”

His gaze shifted up the hill toward the beautiful home that was Heidi’s safe place. “You’re strong. I’ve watched you. You can do this. Do what you always do when you visit her. Play some kickball. Let her do whatever she wants to do today. Enjoy her. When you’re ready to leave, your car will be waiting for you.”

So many thoughts were hammering through my head. An ache had settled there to go with the agony of the horrible truths. “I need to talk to the office. I don’t know if Jasper paid them already. If he didn’t, I need to figure out my next move. If he did, then…then I don’t know…do I just let him pay for her to stay here.”

Stone shifted his eyes back to me. “Heidi is a Van Allan. A Van Allan who lived in poverty in a trailer park while her parents traveled the world and lived in luxury. That money is as much hers as it is Jasper’s.”

His words sunk in. Slowly. I’d seen the birth certificate, and I knew it was real. But I finally let my mind go there, truly accepting that Jasper was Heidi’s sister by blood. The pain only intensified.

“She will always be your sister,” he added as if he had read my thoughts. “Your connection can’t be broken by something as simple as who gave her life. The bond you have goes beyond that.”

He was right. Heidi and I were connected. That would never be taken from me. “I can’t see him or talk to him,” I whispered. “Not yet. Maybe not for a very long time. If you’re going to tell him the truth, he will want to talk to me, and I just can’t. Not yet.”

“It’s best you don’t. I can handle things. For now, get in the car and let me take you to visit your sister. It will put your mind at rest to see she is fine and oblivious to all of this.”

I did as I was told. After walking around the car, I climbed into the passenger side. It was odd how easy it was to obey Stone. The authority in his voice should annoy me, even anger me, and at first it had. But I found solace in his assertive words. His commanding presence was calming. Having someone tell me what to do was easier. I didn’t have answers. Stone made me feel less lost.

He drove us back onto the road in silence. From there, it was a short distance up the hill to the facility. The home that had been a godsend for Heidi after losing our mom. Heidi had adored our mother. She’d always felt equal because Momma made sure she did. If I did something, she made sure Heidi did it, too, even if it took a lot of help from both of us. This place gave her that again.

After Stone parked the car, I sat there staring straight ahead. “I never want Heidi to know the truth. Our mother, she was our mother. Heidi loved her and misses her just as fiercely as I do. Momma was Heidi’s world. This isn’t something Heidi will understand.”

I don’t know why I was telling Stone. It wasn’t as if he was going to walk inside and tell Heidi the horrid truth. But I needed to tell someone, and right now, he was all I had.

“She doesn’t need to know. She has you. That’s all she needs.”

I believed that too but hearing someone else say it helped. The realization that Jasper could want to know her hit me and the brief moment of calm I had started to feel vanished.

“What if…if Jasper throws Portia out…What if Portia tries to use Heidi to get the Van Allan money?”

That woman wasn’t someone I wanted near my sister. She was evil- selfish and cold. Heidi was nothing like her. She wouldn’t understand her.

“She won’t,” he said. “There’s too much at stake. More at stake than her being broke. What she did wasn’t just cruel, it was illegal.”

I paused and thought about it for moment. Could he be right? Was that another reason she kept the truth from us? “Are you sure?”

“Positive. I’ve verified her actions were and still are illegal,” he assured me.

I turned my head and looked at him. “But she may decide to face her lies.”

Stone leaned closer to me—closer than he’d ever been. His gaze was intense and invited no argument. Where Jasper was kind and warm, Stone wasn’t. Yet right now he was the only thing I had to hold onto. His words.

“The first thing you’ll have to learn is to trust me, Beulah. Because I don’t lie, and I swear to you that Portia will not come near Heidi.”

He didn’t add that he wouldn’t let her. But his expression was so determined that I didn’t question it. There was something in that penetrating gaze that told me he would make sure of it.

“Okay,” I whispered.

He nodded his head toward the door. “Go. Visit with Heidi. Don’t dwell on all that you’ve learned while you’re with her. Just enjoy being there in the moment. I’m going to text you an address. Drive your car there after your visit.”

This man was not the Stone I had come to expect. He was so vastly different but then also the same. I stared at him “Why?” I asked. “Where is it you want me to go?”

His left eyebrow lifted slightly. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?”

Oh. Well, yes. My car. I wasn’t sure where I was going to park it yet but that was my current plan. I didn’t say that though.

“Didn’t think so. I’ll text you an address. When you leave, head there.” He said without waiting on my response, he started to get out of the car.

“How did you know to come find me if you hadn’t spoken to Jasper,” I blurted when I realized that was still a mystery. He had just shown up out of the blue. Someone had to have sent him.

He paused but didn’t glance back at me. His broad shoulders were ramrod straight and if I could see his expression, I would guess it too would be tense. Why was this a question he was avoiding?

“I saw Portia confront you both outside the office and I knew. I knew you were going to need someone,” he said then climbed out of the car, closing the door before I could say another word and walked away. I watched him go more confused than I’d ever been. Stone had shown up with answers, not lies. He’d reassured me Heidi was okay. He hadn’t let me fall apart. I could admit I felt stronger after his visit even if he had told me more horrible truths.

If I was honest, I didn’t want him to leave. When he spoke, I believed his words. He spoke with certainty that you simply couldn’t question. I was starting to truly understand why Jasper kept him around. When he wasn’t busy loathing my existence, he was very…helpful.

My phone dinged, and I pulled it from my back pocket. There was a text with an address just like he’d said there would be. But how did he know my phone number? He hadn’t asked for it. I had never given it to him. I frowned watching his back as he disappeared down the hill walking back to his truck. It didn’t matter.

I had a place to sleep tonight and perhaps time to figure out what to do next. I just…wasn’t sure where it was he was sending me. Did he have a friend or family in Savannah?

I removed the keys from the ignition and got out of the car from where I sat in the passenger seat. I knew visiting Heidi would help me. Seeing her smile and knowing she was happy was what I needed right now. The last name on her birth certificate meant nothing. Heidi was an Edwards. She always would be.

The Van Allans had buried her years ago. Their name went with that time and place. While the cruelty of their actions was heartbreaking, I couldn’t help but be grateful she’d been given a better life. I knew Momma and I loved Heidi the way she deserved. We cherished her and appreciated the light she brought to the world.

“Beulah, we weren’t expecting you!” I forced a smile as Tammy greeted me with surprise. “Heidi and May are crafting in the activity room right now. They are going to be so excited to see you. Even if you don’t have any cookies or cupcakes.”

I rarely visited Heidi empty-handed, but then I hadn’t known I would be here today. “Hopefully the surprise of seeing me outweighs not having treats,” I replied.

“Oh, it will!”

I headed back to the activity room. Heidi had learned to crochet, and she loved it. The last time I came to see her, she was making potholders and dish rags. I wondered if that was what they were up to today. The thought of her doing something she enjoyed living free of the things I had learned today was a relief. It eased the heaviness that had settled on my chest.

Just as I was about to reach the crafting room, the door to the office opened, and Mrs. Shell, the accounts manager, walked out. I had met her once when I had moved Heidi into Among the Spanish Moss. She’d introduced herself and told me how happy they were to have Heidi. Seeing her now made my stomach knot up. If this was about the future of Heidi’s account payments, I wasn’t ready for that just yet.

“Beulah, I got the payment for Heidi. It just came through the computer system. It’s wonderful that Heidi is paid in advance for the next ten years. We are just thrilled to know that she will be a permeant fixture here. She sure brightens up the place.” She beamed at me then turned to walk down the hallway without waiting for my response.

I wanted to call out and ask her if she knew exactly when it had been paid. Had Jasper just paid it, or had it been done before today and took time to show up on her computer records? Not that it mattered. It was done and now that he knew Heidi’s birthright then I doubted he would cancel the payment. I just wasn’t sure I could be relieved that Van Allan money had taken care of Heidi. It was a bitter pill because Portia Van Allan didn’t deserve to have any connection to my sister.