Chapter Forty
Chapter
Forty
Beulah
Geraldine came to the door wearing a red-striped bikini and a large straw hat, carrying a martini glass full of milk. I was a little shocked, but I was also grateful she was mindlessly packing for a nonexistent trip to the Caribbean because it helped me drown my thoughts.
I was cleaning up the kitchen after lunch when Geraldine finally came out of her spell.
“Why am I wearing this bikini?” she asked.
I spun around from loading the dishwasher to see her with a towel wrapped around her, and her hat was gone.
“You were packing for a trip to the Caribbean,” I told her.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Dear God, if I ever visit that place again, don’t let me wear this. My thighs have seen better days.”
I smiled. “I thought you looked great in it.” I hoped I had her attitude about life when I was older, and my brain got scattered.
“Thank you. But trust me. There was a time long ago when I could turn heads,” she said with pride.
“You are still turning heads. Your beauty is ageless,” I informed her
She narrowed her eyes at me but then smiled brightly. “I guess you just might be right,” she replied looking pleased. Then she added a sigh. “I have some unpacking to do. If you could water the garden for me while I put things away, that would be wonderful.”
“Yes, of course.”
She started to leave, then paused and looked at me. “You’re a good girl. I’ve known a lot of beauties. Many that have been in and out of Stone’s life. But never have I met one with your genuine goodness. Don’t give up on him.”
I opened my mouth to tell her that Stone was only helping me and she had the wrong idea about us. However, she left the room too quickly, and her footsteps echoed down the hall before I could gather my words and respond.
Surely, Stone had explained our situation to her. He wouldn’t want her thinking there was anything between us. Her mind was scattered. Maybe she was confused again, thinking I was a girl from his past. That idea saddened me. Stone wasn’t an ideal guy to spend your life with. He was hard, blunt, and cruel at times. He looked down his nose at others and was closed off. But I had seen him with Geraldine and the way he looked at her. There was a heart in that man. He was just very careful who he allowed inside of it. The idea of a woman hurting him made my chest ache a little. But only a little.
Watering the garden took over an hour. It was an impressive setup, and she’d told me yesterday how Stone had helped her organize it during spring break three years ago. They’d spent four days preparing the irrigation and making sure the planting system was installed properly. He would have been a sophomore in college. His friends would have gone to some exotic location to party, but he’d come here to help an elderly woman begin a garden in her multi-million-dollar castle.
It was as if there were two of him. One, I respected and admired, and the other, I wanted to punch in the face. When I was here with Geraldine, I found myself seeing him through her eyes. Then when I was with him again he always seemed to make me feel stupid and inferior.
I wondered how many childhood memories Stone had in this backyard. From the bits and pieces I’d learned about his parents, this must have been his safe place. He came here to be a little boy and feel secure. I’d been raised with love and security. I didn’t know what it was like to grow up with parents like his. I couldn’t expect him to be normal after that.
“Beulah, dear, we seem to have company. I believe it’s more for you than me,” Geraldine called from the back patio. When I put the water hose down and looked back toward the house, her concerned frown made me think she might be having another spell.
“I’ll be right there,” I assured her, turning off the sprinklers set to water most of the crops. She stayed on the patio. I wondered what she could be imagining that had her so upset. Stone hadn’t prepared me for a spell like this. I only knew about her more entertaining episodes.
“Is everything okay?” I asked once I reached her. She sighed heavily as if she hated to tell me what was wrong.
“I’m not sure, to be honest. He’s always been welcome here. Because of that, I didn’t think anything about it when he came to the gate. I happily let him inside. I was ready to make him a cup of tea and feed him a slice of the almond pound cake you made earlier. But when he got inside the house, he asked to see you, and I remembered. Stone warned me this could happen and said I should tell you to call him if he tried to get in here. But…I forgot, and now he’s here. In the parlor.”
“Jasper,” it wasn’t a question. Although she had never said his name, I knew who she was referring to. He shouldn’t have come to my job. To a place that he’d always been welcomed. It was wrong to take advantage of Geraldine. Instead of the panicked mess I’d been every time I thought I’d have to face him, this time I was angry. I was frustrated that he’d do something like that and upset Geraldine.
The thought of having to face him made my stomach knot up, but I wouldn’t allow this to upset her more than she was. “That’s all right. Not to worry. I’ll see if I can help him, then send him on his way. Or you can feed him some pound cake and enjoy your tea. I’m sure he’d like that.”
She shook her head. “Oh, no. He isn’t to stay here with you. Stone told me to be sure this didn’t happen, and I messed it up.”
The distress in her voice was unfair to her. Jasper was being selfish. “Then you have a seat in the kitchen and let me handle Jasper. This isn’t a problem at all, and Stone doesn’t even need to know about it.”
Geraldine pinched her lips and shook her head. “No, no. I’ll have to tell him. And you’re not going in there alone. Stone didn’t tell me why, but he was very adamant about it. I just wish I’d remembered sooner.”
Arguing with her was a waste of time.
“If you’re sure,” I said, worrying this was too much stress for her.
She gave a firm nod. “Absolutely.”
I didn’t know what he’d say or why he was here, but I had to deal with this and make him leave. Coming between him and Stone’s friendship made me feel terrible. Jasper and Stone were as close as brothers. It wasn’t until after I’d left that I realized how close they were. Stone and Jasper didn’t have a lot of family, from what I could tell, and they weren’t going to lose each other over me.
“Then let’s go see what our guest wants,” I said with a fake smile.
She studied me and then sighed. “This isn’t good,” she muttered.
With Geraldine by my side, we walked to the parlor, and I began mentally coaching myself to face him. I had to do this without any crack or breakdown, for Geraldine’s sake. Maybe for my sake, too.
When we reached the doorway, Geraldine stepped in front of me almost protectively. “You’re not supposed to be here. Stone didn’t give me any details on the situation, but I know you boys are close. If he thinks you shouldn’t be around Beulah, there must be a good reason.”
Jasper’s eyes weren’t on Geraldine, they were locked on me. My chest ached at the sight of him. But it wasn’t as painful as I’d feared. I did believe I had loved him or that I had been falling in love with him. Before I had known the truth.
“Stone won’t allow me in the building. You won’t answer my calls or texts. I didn’t know how else to talk to you.” The pleading in his voice wasn’t easy to hear.
“Jasper, there is nothing for us to talk about. We need space and time right now.”
Jasper took one step toward me, and Geraldine took a step toward him as a silent warning. She didn’t seem to care that Jasper was a foot taller than her. She held her head high and glared at him with determination.
“Gerry, you know I won’t hurt her. I just need to talk to her.”
Geraldine shook her head. “You’re talking, but you’re not getting closer. I wasn’t supposed to let you inside.”
Jasper lifted his eyes to look at me. “I want a DNA test for Heidi. And I’m having one done for me, too. I…Hell, I don’t know what my parents were capable of. I could be a bastard of one of my father’s secretaries,” he let out a hard humorless laugh. “Wouldn’t that fix everything.”
Heidi didn’t need her DNA tested. It would scare her or confuse her. I shook my head no. “I won’t have Heidi upset.”
He took another step in my direction. “She won’t ever know. We need a swab from inside her mouth and a strand of hair. Nothing else. If she is a Van Allan, then she deserves the inheritance that is rightfully hers.”
“No! She is an Edwards. My mother,” I felt emotion clog my throat, making it hard to speak. “My mother…was our mother, and she always will be. Heidi needs to know nothing more than that. I WILL NOT let you upset her!” I was shouting. Fear clawed at my chest. If he tested her DNA, I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to protect Heidi if she was a Van Allan.
“I would never, ever hurt her. She would never have to know anything more than she does now. But…I’d like permission to visit her. If she is my sister, then I’ve missed out on that. I never had a sibling. I want to know mine.”
My throat was closing up, and my hands felt sweaty. I shook my head and backed away from him. My vision was starting to blur. All around the edges it darkened as it tunneled.
I could hear my heart hammering rapidly in my chest as I considered no longer having any claim on Heidi. I could lose her. They could take her away from me. They could whisk her off to wherever they wanted, and she’d need me. She’d be scared and confused.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe.
The sound of the front door swinging open barely registered with me. I gasped trying to draw oxygen into my lungs. It burned and I blinked trying to stop the darkness closing in on me.
“JASPER!” Stone’s roar echoed through the house. He took long, quick strides into the parlor with a furious expression. He looked terrifying and if I wasn’t currently fighting for air, I might be scared. But as it was he wasn’t the most frightening thing at the moment.
His gaze swung to me, and he appeared to pale. “Are you okay?” he asked, his tone still harsh but there was concern in his gaze which meant I might be dying.
He closed the space between us his hands grabbing my shoulders. “Breathe,” he ordered as if it were that easy.
I tried as my eyes watered.
“Fuck,” he growled. “Look at me. Focus on my face.”
I did. I was willing to try anything.
“You’re okay. Everything is okay. I swear it,” he said softly. I’d never heard him use that tone before. “Focus,” he encouraged. “Think about taking a deep breath in.”
I shook my head thinking it wasn’t going to work when his thumb brushed my bottom lip. As if it were a magical button that had needed to be pressed, I sucked air into my lungs falling forward with the force.
Stone’s hands steadied me. “That’s it. Now count slow steady breaths. You’re fine. I’m here.”
“Heidi,” I croaked. “They’ll take her from me.” My eyes filled with tears and a sob broke free from my chest.
“No,” was his simple response.
“It’s all my fault. I let him in. I forgot. I thought he’d come to visit me,” Geraldine began to explain. Her high-pitched tone sounded frantic. I’d upset her. I hadn’t meant to do that. Jasper had talked about the DNA test and I’d lost it.
Heidi was all I had.
“Beulah,” Stone said my name again. “Breathe.”
I nodded but another cry fell from my lips. What if I lost her. How was I going to survive that. “He…” I sobbed. “He wants a DNA test.” I sucked in a shaky breath trying to calm down. “I’ll lose her.”
The veins in Stone’s neck stood out as he clenched his teeth, and his gaze darkened. He turned his head until he was looking over at Jasper.
“Out! Now! OUTSIDE!” Stone ordered.
“What? You get to take her from me. Keep her in your apartment. Put your goddamn hands on her and YOU are the one that gets to be angry?” Jasper snarled.
Stone took a deep breath, but his expression only turned more fierce. “Sit down. Count your breaths,” he said to me. “No one is taking Heidi from you.”
Because I needed to believe that. I needed it to be true I nodded and started backing up where he moved me until I was sitting in a chair. He didn’t look at Jasper and I kept my eyes on his retreating form trusting him to make this okay.
“Outside,” Stone demanded as he stalked toward the door.
Jasper didn’t say a word as he followed Stone out of the parlor. I dropped my eyes to the floor afraid he’d look my way. I didn’t want to see him.
“Jasper should have expected that,” Geraldine said with a shake of her head like she was disappointed in his choices. “Come now, honey. Let’s have some tea. It’s good to calm the nerves.”
I wasn’t sure I could stand. My legs felt weak, and my heart hadn’t stopped racing. I glanced toward the windows overlooking the front yard. Guilt sank in as I thought of what I was doing to them. They were friends and I’d caused this…this rift between them.
“This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have gone to Stone’s apartment…gotten him in the middle of all this,” my voice was hoarse. Thick with emotion weighing down on me.
“Hush that. It is no such thing. Jasper came to my home when he knew better. That boy has been spoiled and Stone knows it and how to handle him. He’s been doing it for years. I know his parents. Even his father God rest his soul was a terrible man. I imagine the Van Allans have done something awful. And from the conversation I overheard just now,” she paused her gaze locked with mine. “That baby girl of theirs didn’t die.” She appeared to be waiting for my confirmation. I couldn’t respond. If Geraldine knew about Heidi’s real identity, then who else would have remembered the baby the Van Allans buried?
She frowned. “The worst kind. Only the worst could do something like that,” her voice was just above a whisper.
“She’s the best person I know,” I blurted out, suddenly needing Geraldine to know Heidi was nothing like her parents.
“The way you love her is a testament to that. Tell me. What was it that they were displeased about to give the child away in such a deceptive way?”
Stone trusted Geraldine. She obviously knew the Van Allans and had for a long time if she remembered Heidi’s birth. She deserved the truth. I had brought it all to her door.
“Heidi has Down syndrome,” I said deciding that keeping her a secret was unfair. Her life was one worth celebrating and I wouldn’t allow the Van Allans horrible lies to keep me from talking about my sister.
She let out a heavy sigh. “Well, then she is a lucky girl to have escaped that life. It sounds like she has a sister who adores her. Would do anything for her. The life she’d have had in that house with those people,” Geraldine shook her head. “Just be thankful she didn’t.”
Feeling the need to tell her everything. To have someone listen. Just to talk about it overpowered me and I blurted out more. “Portia is my mother’s sister.”
Geraldine stared at me a moment before her expression softened. “Two sisters who are completely opposite I assume.”
I nodded. “My mother was wonderful.”
“The way I see it is God gave the world two beautiful girls and wanted them raised by a woman worthy of them to call mom. Heidi was meant to be with your mother. In your heart and Heidi’s, she always will be. No matter what the Van Allans choose to do or say.”
Geraldine was a unique lady. I wanted to get up and hug her and thank her for saying that, for listening to me, and for giving me this job. The first stirrings of peace gave me hope.
She spun around with a surprised look on her face. “The Christmas tree delivery should be today! I haven’t even made the cider yet. Do you think we can string some popcorn next? I don’t want to have an empty tree. Victor will need to get the ornaments from the attic. I have antiques, you know—my mother had beautiful hand-blown ornaments. Exquisite, I tell you. Glorious. You’ll have to handle them with care. But you’ll see,” she continued to ramble on as she left the room in a rush.
“We have nothing! I’m not ready for the holidays at all! Claudia will need to take me to town. What is a tree without the smell of cranberry tart in the oven?” she sounded panicked.
I jumped up and went after her, unsure where she was going next.
The large front door swung open, and Stone came walking in with a scowl on his face. He stopped short when he saw Geraldine coming his way in a hurry. “Oh, Stone! You’re here. Good, good, you can get the ornaments. They’re in the attic where we packed them away last year. The tree will be here soon. Claudia is taking me to get the cider and cranberry tart supplies in town. We will be festive in no time! Just you wait and see!” She clapped her hands and did a little hop.
Stone’s eyes lifted from her to me. “It seems it’s December,” he drawled.
I nodded.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes. I’ve got it together now. I’m sorry I cracked.”
He didn’t appear pleased by my response. “Jasper won’t be back. There will be no DNA testing.”
I wanted to weep with relief. “Thank you.”
“When you’re ready to talk to him, let me know.”
I wasn’t sure when that day would be. Especially after what had just happened. “Okay.”
“Come on, Claudia, dear, we’ve got to get to town,” Geraldine said as she spun in circles, looking for something. “Where is the coat rack? I had one just there by the door. We can’t go out in that weather without our coats, scarves, and hats.” She was getting distressed again.
“Gerry, it’s the end of July and ninety degrees out there. You don’t need a coat, nor do you need to go to town for cider.”
She looked confused. “Oh. I guess I should tell Claudia,” She muttered and turned to walk away. When she went into the library, Stone shifted his gaze to me. “Claudia passed away of cancer in nineteen-eighty-three. She was her younger sister.”
I glanced back at the door she’d disappeared into. “Will she remember that?” I asked him.
“Not until she comes back around. I never remind her that Claudia and Victor are gone when she’s in that state. There’s no point. She remembers a happier time, one she misses.”