Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter
Forty-Nine
Beulah
The smell of bread filled the kitchen as I opened the oven to take out the loaf I’d made to go with our simple fettuccini alfredo dinner. Other than eggs and fruit for breakfast and a shared sub sandwich for lunch that Stone had fed me part of, we’d eaten nothing else.
I learned today that sexual activity was as exhausting as it was pleasurable. My body felt as if I’d just run a marathon and still hummed from our activities. I knew if he came in here and pulled up his t-shirt I was wearing, I’d gladly bend over and let him have me again. He kept saying he was addicted to me, but I feared it was the other way around.
While he was returning a work phone call as I finished making dinner, I couldn’t stop thinking about how his mouth had felt between my legs. The way his tongue had sucked and flicked my clit until I’d gone wild. The tingle between my legs began again. My inner thighs were going to be damp if I didn’t think about something else. I’d decided panties were pointless today.
Slicing the bread, I wondered if something was wrong with me. Was it normal for a woman to be so sex crazed? I hadn’t been this way with Jasper. It had been sweet, and I had enjoyed it, but when we’d had sex, it had never felt like this. When Stone touched me, I felt like an open electric socket. Everything was so powerful and some dark part of me desired things I never knew to want.
Did Stone bring this out in all women? Was his talent at sex what was causing this? Had that been why Presley was so insane when it came to him? That thought put a damper on my mood.
I’d been so wrapped up in all the earth-shattering orgasms that I hadn’t considered that this may be the norm for him. I was one in a long line. He was definitely the best I’d ever had, but I had very limited experience. It was all new for me. Something I hadn’t known existed. But maybe it wasn’t for him.
I stopped slicing the bread and looked at the wall across from me. I sighed as my mood plummeted. Was I so na?ve that I had missed all that? Was my craving for how he made me feel hindering common sense? Reality?
He hadn’t said he loved me—not really. He said, “He knew he would love me.” That statement had been all it took for me to give in. To admit to myself what I had been fighting and denying. Everything clicked into place. It all made perfect sense. My denial vanished, and I accepted the truth. I let go of my guilt and embraced loving Stone.
I had cried out that I loved him more than once right before my world was lit up again and again, and I spiraled into bliss. But he’d never said it back.
“Smells good,” his voice broke into my thoughts, and I turned to look at him. I wanted to see if the unspoken words were there in his eyes. Something to reassure me I wasn’t being careless with my heart. I’d let him come inside me. I had even reveled in how it felt to be filled with his seed. But now…had I been impulsive, reckless? Is this what I did? Once a man gave me attention, I fell in love. No. This was different. What I was feeling now wasn’t what I’d felt with Jasper.
“What’s wrong?” his concern was immediate, and he took long, quick strides until he was beside me. He turned me around to face him. His hands caged me in against the counter, and his eyes that I’d once thought were cold and void of emotion showed so much. “You’re upset. Why?”
I could hide the truth but lies and hiding had already hurt too many people in my life. I wasn’t going to add to it. “I was just…I was thinking about us. How it feels. How…how it’s unlike anything I’ve known. It seems unreal. Like a fantasy. But I-I don’t have much experience. This may be normal for you.”
I wanted to ask him if he loved me. But I also felt silly and na?ve.
He lifted one eyebrow. “Normal?” he repeated as if he couldn’t believe I’d asked that. I simply nodded.
A naughty smirk lifted the corner of his lips. “I told you I was addicted to you. I can’t leave this apartment because if I’m not inside you, my damn dick is hard and waiting until it can be again. Nothing about this is normal.” I could see the teasing gleam in his eyes. He meant what he was saying, but he was also teasing me for asking.
“Do you love me?” I blurted out the words. I had to ask him. Even if the answer was no, I had to know.
He studied me for a moment. Then he pressed his body closer and cupped my left cheek in his hand. He bent down and pressed a kiss to my mouth. “Love seems too weak a word for this, Beulah. But if that’s what you need to hear. Yes, I love you.”
Love wasn’t a weak word. It was powerful. It was the most important thing a human being could experience. We all needed to feel it. Love was precious and unique. There were different levels of love. There were loves you’d never lose. Some loves came for a time and marked you. There were loves that were beautiful and fleeting. But each one was important. Each one the grandest part of life. I loved my mother. I loved my sister. They were the loves you are given in life. The ones you don’t have to search for. This love I felt for him was new, different and it may be the most terrifying of all.
He ran a hand through my hair. Letting his fingers tangle in the locks. I leaned into his touch. “I think love is as close to heaven as we can experience on earth,” I told him.
He gave me a crooked grin. “No, Beulah. When I’m deep inside you, is as close to heaven on earth as it’ll ever get. Hell, baby, I’d argue that even heaven isn’t that sacred.”
I slapped his arm. “Stone, don’t say that.”
He leaned down and kissed me. Long and slow. Sweet and soft. I wrapped my arms around his neck and enjoyed the taste and emotion that came from the connection. His hands ran down my body, cupped my butt, and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked me over to the table.
“How much longer does the pasta have?” he asked.
“Twenty minutes,” I told him. “Longer if I put it to simmer.”
“Twenty minutes is good,” he said. His pants were already pulled down, and he was inside me. Slowly, he sank in, and I winced, but it was a delicious feeling. “I swore I was going to give you time before I was inside you again, but I can’t. I want to stay up inside you. No end.”
“Me too,” I agreed. “I love being sore from you,” I told him. “It turns me on. I feel wicked having been used so much it hurts.”
He growled, and his jaw clenched. “I’m going slow this time. Stop taunting me. You make me lose it, and it hurts you. If you keep that naughty little mouth shut, we will do this slow and easy.”
I ran my hands over my breasts as he watched me, sliding my right hand down to touch where he entered me. He froze and watched as I began playing with my swollen clit. When he started moving again, he was breathing hard, and his eyes were on me, touching myself.
The excitement in his gaze only added to the way it made me feel. I was showing him how I pleasured myself while he pleased me even more.
“Do you touch yourself when you’re alone?” he asked huskily.
“Yes. When I’m in the bath,” I admitted.
“I want to fuck you hard. Watch you scream. Watch you come apart under me. Keep touching that pussy, and I will. My restraint is almost gone, baby.”
I lifted my hand away and his eyes followed my finger as I moved it to my mouth and licked it.
“Jesus,” he muttered.
I stuck my tongue out and ran the finger over it to the tip, then used the finger to begin to play again. That was his breaking point. He grabbed my thighs and rocked deep into me with no restraint. When I moaned his name, he moved faster. His eyes glazed over from the building release we both knew was coming.
I held my knees up to his waist, and he grabbed my left one and pulled my ankle to rest on his shoulder. He was deeper now. I sucked in a breath at the shock.
“Do you think about this when you play with that pussy?” he asked.
“Yes!” I admitted. I had thought of him many times, even when I felt guilty for it.
“You’re gonna play with it tonight. I’m going to stand over you and watch until I shoot my load all over your hand and thighs.”
The idea of that made my body hum. “AH! AH!” I was so close. “Stone! Yes! Oh, oh!” The light shattered around me. I grabbed at his arms and felt my nails sink into his skin.
“GOD! FUCK! I CAN’T,” he yelled, and the heat from his release was shot inside me as his body shook. “HELL!”
The simple knowledge he was coming inside me again sent another surge of euphoria through my body. His release of pleasure became a state of bliss that I wanted to live in.
Stone lowered his body over mine, his face buried in my neck. “Jesus, Beulah. I can’t do that again. But you make it so hard to pull out. I want to be inside you when I come. That is love, baby. Pure fucking love.”
I pressed my lips to his head. “When you let me leave this apartment again, I will get birth control. It takes 30 days before it works, though.”
He lifted slightly. “There’s a shot that works immediately. You need that, or you’ll be pregnant in a month.”
Although he was teasing, he was also serious.
“Okay. I’ll get the shot.”
He sighed. “Thank you.”
“I should check on the pasta,” I reminded him.
“Sorry, I forgot,” he said, moving off me. “Need me to get you a towel for between your legs?”
I stood up, letting the T-shirt slide back over me. “No. I like how it feels.” I walked past him and went to check the fettuccini. After taking it off the stove and stirring it, I looked up and saw him watching me.
“It’s ready.”
“I won’t be able to eat thinking about my come dripping down your thighs.”
“Why not?”
He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. “You are going to kill me.”
Laughing, I grabbed plates from the cabinets and wondered if I should fear the future. Could I face losing him? Or should I enjoy the present and forget about the pain I might face one day?
“Beulah,” he said my name, and I turned to him.
“You’re my fate. That’s a more accurate description. I love your pussy and I fucking love being inside you but what I feel for you, what we are. You’re my fate.”
I stood there a moment and let that sink in. Then I realized I was wrong. Maybe there was something stronger than love.