Chapter 33
Chapter
Thirty-Three
COSMIC LOVE
Shaw
“Tell her I haven’t forgotten her.
Tell her I’m not the same without her here.” – E
S everal months later
The sun dips low on the Montana horizon, casting long shadows across the sprawling ranch. I stand at the edge of the fence line, my hands gripping the wood of the fence post. The air is heavy with the scent of hay and dust, mingling with the distant calls of cattle and the soft knickers of horses in the pasture.
Turning my head to the right, I fix my gaze on the tulip field. I hear her laughter when I close my eyes, the wind carrying her lovely melody that haunts me. Sometimes, I think I see her dancing with her head thrown back, her curls blowing in the wind while the sun falls on her face.
The image of her riding atop Geraldine through my land follows me even in my sleep. Not even the long month can erase her memory from my ranch and from my heart.
I feel her everywhere like a beautiful fucking ghost, and I crave it. Every time I close my eyes, I hope to see her. It’s when I open them and face reality that it’s cruel.
Summer has long gone, giving way to autumn, and still, regret consumes me while the grief of the sweetest love I’ve ever known keeps my head underwater. The air barely reaches my lungs most days.
Everything feels lifeless at the ranch. Even the horses seem depressed, as if they too grieve the loss of the girl with a smile that could light up the world. What I thought was a selfless action has turned into my hell. I let Ella slip away, unable to hold on to the love we once shared. My heart aches with every beat, replaying the scene where she walked away, tears glistening in her pretty eyes. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret it or curse my fucking insecurities.
For the broken promises and words left unsaid.
With each nail I angrily drive into the fence, I think of everything I could’ve done differently. I could have held onto her tighter. I could have told her father to fuck off and shown him that no one was meant for his daughter but me.
No one will ever love Ellaiza Kenton the way I love her, but now it’s too late.
As I hammer another nail in place, a faint rustle behind me catches my attention. I pause, my breath catching in my throat. For a moment, I hope it’s her. Slowly, I turn around and find the one person I never thought would step foot in this town, let alone my ranch.
Arianna Kenton walks my way, dressed in a cream pantsuit and high heels that seem out of place but I wouldn’t expect less from her. Her blonde hair falls in perfect waves over her shoulders, and she wears jewelry that probably costs more than this ranch.
Her expression is cold, her eyes filled with clear anger toward me. Her brigade of bodyguards stands back near a black van, alert and ready to act if they sense any threat to their client.
“Shaw Banning,” she greets quietly, her voice frosty as she glances toward the unfinished fence and then at the hammer in my hand. “I hope I’m not intruding.”
I’m sure she couldn’t care less if she were. This is Arianna Kenton, an ice queen to everyone who doesn’t share her blood, and I’m the man who hurt her daughter.
There is no doubt in my mind that this won’t be a pleasant visit.
I put down the hammer, straighten up, and wipe my brow with the back of my hand. “Mrs. Kenton,” I reply with a nod, uncertain of how this conversation with Ella’s mother will turn out. I wonder why it took her this long to come and tear me a new one. It’s been months since I messed up and let her daughter walk away, so why now?
Arianna steps closer, her heels sinking slightly into the mud. Yet she doesn’t seem bothered by the state of her shoes. Silence falls between us, the only sounds being the horses behind me and the leaves rustling in the wind. The silence stretches as she looks at me, her green eyes studying me as if she’s trying to peer into my soul.
After what feels like an eternity, she speaks. “I was sure of what I wanted to tell you when I landed here in Montana. I knew exactly what to say,” she begins delicately, choosing her words with care. “But now…”
“But now?”
“I just have one thing to say to you,” she steps even closer, her head held high and her shoulders back.
I hold her icy stare. Although I’m not afraid of this very powerful woman, I know she has every right to be furious on behalf of her.
“You hurt my Ellaiza,” she whispers harshly, as if she could reach inside my heart, rip it out of my chest, and stomp on it with her pointy, expensive shoes. I would deserve it too. “I don’t take kindly to anyone who hurts one of my children, and you… you hurt the one with the softest heart.”
The mention of Ella’s name sends a pang through my chest. Guilt and sorrow claw at me. I turn away slightly, unable to meet Arianna’s gaze.
“I don’t think it matters much, but for what it’s worth, I fucking broke my own heart the day I broke your daughter’s.” I laugh without humor. “Fuck, I thought what I was doing was what’s best,” I admit gruffly, my voice rough and angry. I feel like a broken record. What a fucking fool. Frustrated, I turn to look at the horses, existing quietly. “Your daughter deserves the world, and look around… this world—my world—is too small for her.”
Silence falls upon us once again, and when it stretches on for too long, I turn to meet her gaze.
Arianna’s expression softens, but her eyes still hold anger and sadness. “I knew someone like you long ago. A stupid, stupid man,” she says softly. “He too thought he was doing what was best for me, but he was wrong. What was and still is best for me is him. Just like, for some reason unbeknownst to me, my girl thinks you’re the best thing for her.”
I shake my head. “I am not.” How could I be when I failed to see that the best place for her was here with me?
“I might not know the man you are now, but one thing I do know for certain is that my daughter was lost and she found herself here with you. The parts we love most about her are because of you and this town.”
I frown, not understanding.
Arianna Kenton sighs softly, her patience clearly waning as I struggle to grasp what she’s saying. She tilts her head slightly, her brow furrowing in mild exasperation. “I don’t think you’re quite getting it,” she says, her voice tinged with frustration. “This isn’t just about you or your feelings. I couldn’t care less about those. This is about my daughter. She is hurting, deeply. And you need to realize that and fix it,” she warns, revealing the ruthless businesswoman and fierce protector of her family.
I don’t blink or flinch at her blunt honesty. I’ve heard worse from myself every day. I do feel guilt twist in my chest, knowing I’ve caused pain not just to Ella but to the people who love her and have had to watch their daughter, sister, and friend suffer.
“I don’t know if she’ll forgive me,” I admit truthfully. “If I were her, I sure as hell wouldn’t.”
Ella’s mother fixes me with her frosty glare. “I wouldn’t forgive you either, but my daughter has a soft heart—a forgiving one,” she says softly. “Go get her. I promise you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t because one day, a man will make her forget you, put a ring on her finger, and give her the love she deserves. It will eat at you until there’s not a trace of the man you once were. Make sure that man is you, or you’ll live the rest of your days miserably.” Arianna pauses and pierces me once again with those frosty green eyes of hers, so unlike her daughter’s gentle blues. “And if you ever hurt my girl again, I’ll make sure that’s the last thing you do.” With those words lingering in the air, she turns and walks away toward her car, the gravel crunching softly under her cream-colored heels.
“Thank you,” I say just loud enough for her to pause mid-step, her posture stiffening imperceptibly. She turns slowly, her icy stare fixing on me with a hint of suspicion. “What for?” she asks, her tone cool and guarded.
I hesitate for a moment, my gaze sweeping across the land that used to mean so much to my Ma. Then I meet Arianna’s gaze again. She frowns slightly, her confusion evident. She searches my face for any hint of clarity, but my expression remains hard to read.
But realization dawns on her. “You know,” she murmurs softly, more to herself than to me, “You made her proud. Every day you work like a dog to keep this place what it once was when she was here, you’re making her proud.” She looks down at the ground, then lifts her head, her eyes clashing with mine. “Can I ask how you know?”
I grin, even though I don’t really feel like it. “I didn’t know until later, but it was obvious. Benjamin has money, yes, but not what this place needed to keep itself afloat.”
Arianna studies me intently, a mixture of emotions flickering across her features—surprise, apprehension, and perhaps a touch of admiration. “No matter what, be gentle with her heart,” she whispers, her voice betraying a hint of vulnerability. Even though she’s a powerhouse businesswoman and fashion icon to some, here she is a mother. One who loves her child dearly because a woman like her wouldn’t end up in this small town asking a man like me to fix what he broke for her daughter’s sake unless she loved her child with every fiber of her being. “Oh, and give my girl a scene out of those romance novels she and my sister love so much. She doesn’t deserve anything less.”
I bite my lip, trying not to smile.
Not knowing what else to say, I nod once. She does too. A sense of closure settles between us as she acknowledges it quietly.
As I watch her get into her car with her bodyguards in tow, I feel a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, I can make things right and get the light of my life back.
Maybe…