18. Sever
18
SEVER
I barely slept all night. All I could think about was what Mass was doing to my girl. I shook the words out of my head.
She wasn’t mine. She was more Roe and Ren’s than she was mine. Exhausted, I took a quick shower and sat back at my desk for a few minutes before deciding I need something to eat.
I trudged down the hallway in nothing but my pajama bottoms. Rounding the corner, I ran into a soft, warm body that smelled an awful lot like my darling star.
I gripped her hips to keep her from falling over and shoved her against the wall amid a soft squeak from her.
“What are you doing roaming free?” I demanded, moving my hand from her mouth. She was supposed to be locked away in her bedroom so we didn’t have a repeat of one of the last bitches who broke free. She’d run off and ended up killed by our father while we watched.
Idiot cunt deserved it though, and quite frankly, I was glad when she was gone.
Her bottom lip wobbled as she stared up at me, her long hair a mass of waves around her. As long as I’d known her, she’d worn her hair in a braid. Seeing it wild the way it was did something to me.
“Answer me,” I snarled down at her.
She jumped at my sharp words and visibly swallowed. Carefully, she held an orange up for me to see.
I frowned at the fruit.
“I-I wanted to make Massimo something to eat, but I didn’t know how to work the stove. It’s a lot different than mine,” she finally said, her voice small and barely above a whisper.
My heart clenched at her words.
She was trying to do something nice for my fucking brother.
My fucking brother.
I ground my teeth as I stared down at her.
“You fuck him last night?” I demanded, keeping her caged against the wall between my arms.
She stared up at me, so fucking beautiful and innocent it hurt.
“Answer me.” I punched the wall next to her head, making her jump.
“Yes,” she answered.
I glared at her, my fury simmering. I knew he’d fuck her. What the fuck else would he take her back to his room for? I’d have been an idiot to think it was anything but that.
Now we’d all been buried inside her.
Completely claimed.
Although mine was probably more of a felony considering I stole it directly from her while I was certain she gave it up to the others because they weren’t as fucked as I was in the head about her.
“Can I go?” she asked.
“No,” I said, my voice a low growl. “You’re not supposed to be wandering the halls. Fucking ever. Did Mass give you permission to leave his room?”
“No.” Terror washed over her face. “I just wanted to do something nice for him since he did something nice for me.”
“What did he do?”
Her green eyes skirted over my face for a moment. “He taught me about weapons and how to kill people with them.”
I blinked in confusion and shock at her words. Mass never did shit like that. Him teaching her that floored me.
“Why did he do that?”
“I was a good girl for him. It was my reward.” She held her chin up high.
We did work on a punishment/reward system with all the toys. We tended to punish more than reward though. It was so rough they’d die on us.
But my darling star was sure thriving.
“You’re not a good girl. You’re a fucking nightmare,” I snapped at her.
She shrank away from my words, her brows furrowed.
“And you’re an asshole.”
I widened my eyes in surprise at her.
“I’m the asshole? Me?” I scoffed. “You’re fucking my brothers?—”
“It’s my purpose here, isn’t it,” she snapped back, her green eyes flashing. “I’m currency. I’m paying for sins which aren’t mine. I get fucked over them. You should know what I’m talking about. You’re the one who robbed me of my first time. So you’re the fucking nightmare, Sever. You, you goddamn asshole!”
Her words hit me like a punch to my guts.
We stared one another down for a moment before I finally broke the silence.
“You left me, Arianna. You kissed me. Told me you gave a damn. Said you wanted me too. Then you fucking left me. You didn’t come back for me. I fucking waited for you. Searched for you. Do you know how that fucking feels?”
“And you got your revenge.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “You got me as a payment plan for my father. You got to tear my virginity from me, but that was supposed to be yours too, right?” She shook her head at me. “In a few weeks, I’ll be dead. One of you will snap, and I’ll die. Just like the others. But you know what I hope most of all?”
“What?” I asked hoarsely.
“I hope you’re the one who kills me. So you can feel fulfilled. I want it to be you.”
I stared her down, wanting to tell her the last thing I wanted was for her to be hurt. To even fucking be here. It didn’t matter that she was back in my life. I wished for nothing more than for her to be back in her home, warm in her bed, far from my fucking life.
I didn’t say those things even though they were screaming loudly in my head.
“What’s going on?” Roe asked, rounding the corner with Ren, both slowing.
I sighed and closed my eyes, moving my arms to release her.
Immediately, she darted away from me and straight into Roe’s arms. He kissed the top of her head and cuddled against her as I glowered at them, my heart in my throat.
“You good?” Ren asked, lifting a lock of Arianna’s hair and rubbing it between his fingers before letting it drop.
“I’m fine,” I said. “I found her in the hall.”
“I was going to make breakfast for Massimo, but I couldn’t figure out how to use the stove,” she said quickly, telling them the same thing she told me. She held her orange up for emphasis. “I got him an orange instead.”
“Aww, what a sweetheart,” Roe said. “I’m sure Mass would love to eat your orange.”
I knew exactly what he was insinuating. I shot him a sour look as he smirked back at me.
“Tell you what, little snowflake. You go take care of Mass and we’ll handle our baby brother,” Roe continued. “Sound good?”
She nodded, her eyes locked on mine.
Fucking damnit. I just wanted her to stay.
“We’ll come see you later,” Ren added, dragging her away from Roe to kiss. I watched, my stomach in knots, as she kissed him back before he released her to Roe. He kissed her too before swatting her ass as she turned to wander back to Mass’s room.
I caught Ren staring at me, and I quickly averted my attention from her swaying ass beneath her t-shirt. I was positive she wasn’t wearing panties. It was driving me insane with want.
“Don’t look away, little brother. What were you doing?” Ren demanded, his brows raised as he stared at me.
“Fuck off.” I shoved past him, but Roe grabbed me and put me back against the wall, the twins staring me down.
“What’s your deal?” Roe studied me. “You’re usually a moody cunt, but you’ve been a storm cloud since she got here.”
I said nothing. I didn’t know how to answer. I was barely able to admit shit to myself, let alone them.
“Listen, we’ve both fucked her. I mean, she begged for it. Did she beg you?” Ren smirked at me.
I knew what he was doing. He always did this shit. Both of them did. They tried to fuck with me to get a rise out of me so I’d act.
“I fucked her tight little asshole. She mewled like a fucking kitten for me, her come spraying out of her as she shook in my arms,” he continued.
I inhaled deeply, trying to keep my anger in check. It wasn’t working.
“She’s our little plaything. And boy, have we played, right, Roe?”
“Definitely have. She also sucks cock like a goddess. Fuck, the suction on her. We took her from both ends?—”
I shoved him hard in the chest. “Shut the fuck up!”
He stumbled back, cackling with Ren.
“What are you waiting for, brother?” Ren taunted, his blue-gray eyes sparkling. “We’ve all had our dicks inside her now. You’re the only one who is as fucking cold as ice to her and never show her love. Clearly, Mass worked his way in, and that shit is unheard of. And you’re the one who loved her first.”
“What did you say?” I asked, my chest heaving and my voice low.
“I said Mass worked his way in?—”
“You know what the fuck I mean,” I said, glaring at him.
He blinked for a moment before looking to Roe who frowned at him.
“You love her?” I was inches from his face. “Is that what you fucking said?”
Ren visibly swallowed and looked to Roe.
“Sever, man, we care about her, OK? We’re giving you shit because we want you to pull your head out of your ass and give her a chance too.”
“She’ll die here,” I whispered.
“She doesn’t have to,” Ren mumbled, tugging at his hair. “It’s clear based on the fucking orange she risked to get for Mass that she gives a shit and he does too. She could have ran right out the fucking front door. Sure, she’d risk being caught by our guards, but still. The option was there. She didn’t try.” He sighed. “Roe cares. I care. We know you do, so pull it together. Get over whatever fucking roadblock you’re trapped behind.”
“How does that save her?” I demanded. “Huh? If our father finds out we give a shit, it’s game over. You know that. You know her purpose here.” I shook my head in disgust.
The twins looked at one another for a moment.
“Then we should kill him,” Roe whispered.
I blinked at him and backed away. “You’re insane.”
“Sever, you know he has to go and it should have been done ten fucking years ago. How much have all of us lost because of him? You didn’t even get to finish college. Your work could be hanging in fucking museums, instead it’s shoved into a drawer in your bedroom. Mass could take over and make shit better.” Roe looked to Ren again. “We’re ready to take his ass out.”
“You’ll die.” I chuckled bitterly. “You know you will. How many have tried and failed?”
“Many,” Ren said with a shrug. “But we have something on our side they didn’t have.”
“And what’s that?” I asked.
“Family,” the twins answered together.
I didn’t know what else to say, so I didn’t say shit. I simply pushed past them, my head full and my heart heavy.
“Think about it, Sever,” Ren shouted at my back. “And go talk to Misery!”
I grumbled and went back into my bedroom. Fuck everything else. I needed to sleep.
I laid in bed all day. I didn’t eat. Sleeping off and on and just being miserable was what I did. By eleven that night, I was unable to stop myself from getting up and wandering to Arianna’s room. I’d been thinking about what the twins wanted to do to our father. It had me on edge. If they failed—if we failed—we’d die. He wouldn’t give a shit if we were his kids. He’d make more. It wasn’t like he was too old for it.
What the fuck was I going to do?
I rested my hand on her door, not even knowing if she was inside. She could be with Mass or the twins….or all three of them.
I hated that.
Mostly because I was left out because I’d definitely fucked women before with my brothers.
This wasn’t working though and the twins were right. I’d been miserable since she’d arrived. To be fair, I’d been miserable since she’d left me four years ago, but I wasn’t going to split hairs on the matters.
Breathing out, I pushed her door open to step into her dark bedroom. My heart jumped when I saw her lying in bed, her dark hair twisted around her. I was surprised my brothers left her alone. Something told me that was by design though. They may have been giving me my chance.
I moved to the edge of her bed and stared down at her.
She was so fucking beautiful it hurt. I knew as much as the next guy that she didn’t deserve this shit. Even though she’d hurt me and left, she didn’t deserve this.
I knew that when she arrived here and I knew that now. I was just being a dick about feeling jilted. It was part of my deep thinking I’d done all day.
Pulling the covers back, I slid into bed next to her. She mumbled something and snuggled against me. I swallowed hard and wrapped my arm around her, holding her close to me.
Gently, and with a shaky hand, I raked my fingers through her soft hair, my throat tight. Several long minutes passed before her lashes fluttered and she stiffened. Slowly, she looked up at me, her green eyes wavering in the moonlight.
“Darling star,” I whispered, my voice thick with an unfamiliar emotion. Or rather, one I hadn’t felt since the night I’d kissed her all those years ago.
“Sever?” She jerked away from me, making my heart break. I watched as she scrambled across the large mattress and wrapped her sheet tightly around herself. She was still in the white t-shirt.
“Don’t,” I said, reaching for her.
She jerked away from me again.
“Ari, please,” I pleaded. “I’m sorry. For everything.”
The words were foreign on my tongue. My voice didn’t sound like mine as the words tumbled out. Apologizing wasn’t the sort of thing I ever did.
She crinkled her brows at me and loosened her grip on her sheet. I took it as an opportunity to make a move. I scooted over to her and cradled her cheek.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated softly. “I shouldn’t have hurt you the way I did. I shouldn’t have-have done the things to you I did. Taking your virginity… fuck, Ari. I’m sorry.”
She dampened her lips as she stared at me.
“How do I fix this?” I asked, desperate for her to tell me she didn’t hate me.
“Tell me why,” she said, her green eyes searching me.
I studied her for a moment before nodding and letting my hand fall away.
“OK.” I breathed out. “I-I was in love with you in high school. I had been for years. I never knew how to tell you. You were the bright spot in a world of darkness. I woke every day and would rush out, excited to see you. Knowing you’d be there made waking up worth doing. Then we kissed.” I ran my knuckles along her jaw. “You said you wanted me too. I thought that was it. I’d finally gotten something I’d wanted since the moment I met you. Then you left me. No note. No text. No phone call. Nothing. Just gone. You abandoned me, and it hurt me, Ari. It hurt me so bad I couldn’t deal with it. I used too many drugs. I drank too much. Mass found me overdosed once. He pulled me back into this fucking painful existence.”
I took her hand in mine as a look of pure remorse covered her pretty face.
“But I told myself I had to get my shit together because someday I’d find you. In my mind, I’d punish you. Then here you were. Delivered right to my doorstep. I let my hurt and anger fuel my actions. It’s not an excuse, but it’s the only one I have. That and I’m just a piece of shit.” I paused and twined my fingers through hers. “I knew what it was like to be here. I knew what our toys go through. In my mind, you were always mine. Mine first. Mine always. I fucked you that night to prove to myself that you belonged to me. That I had you first. The idea that someone took it first…” I shook my head, not knowing how to finish the sentence. Tell her I’m a fucking monster like my father and brothers? She knew that. That I’m a nightmare with a gun? She knew that too.
“All I can tell you is that I’m sorry. And tell you that I’ll probably do it again. I’ll hurt you. I’ll scare you. But know I-I love you.” My words faltered on my lips as I said them.
“You love me?” Her words were barely above a whisper.
“Of course I do,” I said, swallowing hard. “You’re everything I’ve always wanted. You’ve even ensnared my brothers. That’s how I know you’re perfect. If you can capture their attention, and they hate everything like I do, then I know you’re the one. For all of us.”
“What are you saying?” Her brows crinkled.
I exhaled and licked my lips. “That I want you, Arianna. My Sweet Misery. My darling star. I want you so fucking much that I’m willing to sacrifice everything I’ve ever known to keep you. That I’m willing to share you with my brothers. I love them too. I-I want us all. Together.” I paused and let my words sink in. “Do you think there’s a chance for us?”
Silence hung around us, my pulse whooshing in my ears as I waited for her reply. What would I do if she told me no? That I’d fucked up too much? Would I force it on her? Hurt her? I knew myself well enough to know I’d definitely have to force myself to walk out without touching her. Delusions weren’t part of who I was. I knew exactly what I was capable of, especially when it came to her.
And if she said yes to me? I’d never had a fucking relationship in my life. She might leave me. Then I’d chase her. Bring her home to me. Again and again if I had to.
She was mine.
Mine.
Mine.
MINE.
“I-I think there is,” she said, squeezing my hand. “I know I should tell you to go to Hell. To tell your brothers the same. But we’re all already in Hell.” She closed her eyes briefly and inhaled before opening them and staring at me. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Sever. I thought of you every single day I was gone, but I knew how broken I was. How useless I’d be to you as long as my father was around to control me. I mean, look! Look what’s happened.” She gestured around the room and scoffed. “This isn’t how I wanted to find you again.”
“Me either,” I admitted.
She offered me a sad smile. “I want you too, Sever. I just don’t want you to be cruel and mean. I can’t deal with that. Your brothers are already that way. I like them. A lot, honestly. The twins make me feel things I didn’t think was possible. Massimo is so strong and grumpy. So no-nonsense. I like all those things. But you? You’re my Sever. I want that. Just for me.”
Her words did something to me.
I’d give her anything she fucking wanted.
I crushed my lips against hers, tasting her, claiming her, owning her.
She kissed me back, making my heart sore.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
It was all I could think about.
Anything. Anything at all. It was hers.
I was a fucking goner, and the pieces were finally sliding into place.
Even the piece where I’d kill my father to free us all.