Chapter 14 Delaney
DELANEY
Them: All I want out of life is the love of a good man.
Me: I’d rather have dirt under my nails and pretty flowers on my table but I’d settle for a spicy book and a bowl of popcorn.
—Delaney’s Secret Thoughts
Badass Book Club
Jamie
When are we doing the next book club meeting? I have questions.
Kaleigh
Aww, sweetie. I know they’re harder to read without pictures.
Ryker
We can get him some with pictures.
Dillan
That’s called porn. Not romance. Hard pass, Ryker.
Ashton
Honey, come upstairs. I’ll explain whatever you want if you rub my feet.
Lexie
Is that a euphemism?
Ashton
Yeah. It means I’m huge and pregnant and can’t see my feet anymore. I want them rubbed, and I’m willing to bribe my husband to do it. Hell, I’d be willing to bribe any of you at this point.
Hendrix
Who added me to this conversation?
Ryker
I told you I was adding you.
Dillan
Don’t be a dick, Henny. Romance books are elite.
Hendrix
I don’t want to read the sex scenes you write, Dillan.
Dillan
I didn’t write this book!
Jamie
My question wasn’t about the sex, you assholes.
Kaleigh
Sure it wasn’t.
Ashton
Not going to lie. He knows what he’s doing in that department.
Lexie
I think I just threw up in my mouth.
Lucky
Please don’t make my wife puke.
Kaleigh
Laney, have you read it yet?
Delaney
I thought it was good, but if Jamie has questions, I call not it. His brother’s a doctor. Let him explain.
Lucky
New girl has jokes.
Delaney
New girl? Really? Still?
Lucky
Yup. You’re the newest girl. Ergo - New. Girl.
Jamie
Ergo? Who are you trying to impress.
Lexie
Me. I told him he needs to expand his vocabulary.
Jamie
And we’re starting with that?
Lucky
Fuck you all. At least I don’t have questions about this month’s book, dickhead.
Jamie
Whatever. When are we meeting?
Dillan
Next week?
Kaleigh
Perfect. Where?
I watch the text chain go silent for a few minutes and know it’s my fault. I may never have joined book club before, but that doesn’t mean I’m not aware of where they’ve always met. West End. And now they’re not going to because of me.
Delaney
Don’t worry about me, guys. I’m going to have so many last-minute things to do next week for the wedding, I doubt I’ll make it anyway.
Ashton
I was going to say our house. I’m not really feeling up to being in a bar right now. This kid is gigantic and pushing down on my bladder constantly.
Jamie
Our house it is. Usual night and time?
Kaleigh
Yup.
Dillan
Works for me.
Ryker
Sounds good.
Hendrix
Not sure I’ll be there.
Lexie
Party pooper.
Dillan
Read the book. Bring your kid. Relax, Henny.
Hendrix
I’ll see if I have a game that night and get back to you.
Kaleigh
Just checked and you don’t!
Hendrix
Have we met?
Kaleigh
Not yet.
Dillan
Down girl.
Oh God. I giggle quietly and drop my phone to the counter as I pour my tea.
These people are insane, but somehow, they’re mine.
That thought settles heavy in my chest as the phone vibrates on the counter as Ryker walks out of the bedroom, shouldering a black leather duffle bag and wearing a beautifully cut suit. Dark and tailored with still slightly damp hair and a loose tie. Oh my.
Does my mouth run dry? Yes. Yes, it does as every other thought vanishes.
Just gone.
Because this man . . . This man is just as sexy on the field as he is in a suit or a towel . . . or naked . . . No. Not thinking about that. Not going there.
I drop my eyes back to my tea bag and try to ignore the heat flushing my cheeks, like I’ve had to do every day since the shower incident. We haven’t talked about it. Probably because I’ve done my best to avoid him. Not that it’s really working. Not well, at least. And now he’s leaving.
Just for tonight. Just for his away game tomorrow. But even knowing he’ll be back after, something in my chest pulls tight. Too tight. Which is still more than I want to admit.
It’s barely been two weeks.
How can I possibly be this attached to someone? Anyone?
But it’s not just anyone, you idiot, I might as well yell at myself.
It’s him.
You’re attached to him.
You’ve been attracted to him.
You saw it coming a mile away last spring.
Like a collision that couldn’t be avoided, even though I did my damnedest to try.
It may have taken a little longer than I expected, but it’s safe to say, we’ve officially collided.
“You’re leaving?” Nothing like asking the obvious.
“Yeah, Bambi.” He moves into my space, crowding me against the counter, not touching but close enough to feel him anyway. Every inch. His deep blue eyes churning. “My away game is tomorrow, remember?”
“Right.” I knew that, obviously. “Sorry. It’s just been a weird day. Have a good game.”
“You okay?” Ryker’s eyes refuse to leave mine, not even for a second.
“I’ll be fine.” Even I don’t believe that line of BS, and I’m the one trying to sell it.
He brushes his knuckles gently along the column of my throat, pushing my hair behind my shoulder and sending goosebumps skittering down my spine, and it wrecks me. “The girls coming over tonight?”
I shake my head, trying to form words as my brain implodes from the simple touch, but in reality, there’s nothing simple about any of this. “They’re coming tomorrow night for the game.”
He tips my face up further, forcing my eyes to his. “Hendrix is around if anything happens.”
“I’ve met him once at West End, Ryker. I’m not calling your BFF to come running.” Damn it. I know I messed up a few of those words.
“My BFF?” he laughs. “Men don’t have BFFs.”
“Whatever.” I shove at his chest, pushing him away, and immediately regret it when his hands catch my wrists. Gentle but strong as he pulls me against him. My breath leaves me in a rush as he wraps his arms around me. Tight and solid. Too much and not nearly enough.
“I’ll see you tomorrow night, okay?” he murmurs against my hair. “Try not to get into any trouble.”
My throat burns, and tears press hard behind my eyes, unwanted and unacceptable.
I will not cry. Not now. Not over this.
“Be safe,” I whisper against his chest, unsure if he can hear me.
His hold on me tightens.
“Always, baby,” he whispers back, the words landing low and deep. He brushes a gentle kiss against the top of my head.
And before I can react . . .
Before I can think . . .
Before I can stop any of this from escalating, he lets go and steps back, hoisting his duffle higher on his shoulder, and walks out without another word.
And I’m not sure if it’s the kiss or the words or just the man himself that rocks me to my core, but I’m pretty sure nothing will ever be the same.
Ryker
The team tends to room Maverick and me together for away games, which isn’t generally too bad. Mav’s a routine kind of guy, and he always walks around the hotel and checks on the younger guys the night before the game. I just have to wait until . . . now.
The door clicks shut behind him, and I throw the deadbolt over it before dropping to the bed and grabbing my phone. Nothing about how Delaney and I left it earlier sits right. Hell . . . nothing about this week has sat right.
Ryker
Hey. You awake?
Delaney
Yeah. Just reading.
Ryker
Oh yeah? You and Tori chillin’ on the couch?
Delaney
Nope. Tori might be on the couch, but I’m soaking in the tub. My body hurts from the long day at the shop today. I’m not sure I ever sat down.
Ryker
You’re in the tub?
Delaney
That’s generally where people take baths, Ryker. I really don’t fit in the kitchen sink. How was your flight?
Ryker
Nope. Don’t change the subject. I’m still focused on you in the tub.
Delaney
Ryker . . .
Ryker
It’s only fair. You saw me in the shower. I should get to see you in the tub.
Delaney
Well, you’re not here to see it, so your loss.
It certainly fucking is.
Ryker
Have you thought about last weekend, Lane?
Delaney
Which part?
Ryker
All of it.
I should have asked her days ago. Should have talked to her about what happened.
But she needed space, and I tried to respect her enough to give her that.
Now I’m like a horny fucking twelve-year-old, picturing what her perfect body looks like under inches of green-apple-scented bubbles.
Her hair up on top of her head, damp and falling around her face.
Her skin pink from the warm water. Maybe that little white wooden tub shelf she has going across the tub, a candle lit, and her Kindle propped up on it.
And I’m pretending I have any control left.
Delaney
Maybe.
Not a bad answer.
Ryker
Maybe the offer still stands.
Delaney
The offer?
The one where you offered to help me with my little problem?
Ryker
I never called it a problem, Lane.
Delaney
I’m a twenty-four-year-old virgin, Ryker. There are worse things to be.
Ryker
Never said there was anything wrong with it, Bambi. You were the one who was uncomfortable. I just offered to get you more . . . comfortable. I mean, after all, what else are husbands for?
Delaney
Well, when you put it that way . . .
. . . . . . . . .
I wait with baited fucking breath as the dots start and stop on the phone a few times before they don’t start again. Maybe it’s time to have a little fun with my little wife.
Ryker
Did you like what you saw, wife?
Delaney
I’m not your wife yet.
Ryker
You didn’t answer the question.
Delaney
Fine. Yes, pretty boy. I liked what I saw. Happy?
I take a chance and hit the FaceTime option and wait for her to answer.
It takes a minute, but when her face appears, flushed and damp and even prettier than I pictured, I grin like a fool. “How did it make you feel, mia moglie?”
Delaney’s brows crinkle. “What? What does that—”
“Answer the question,” I push, softer this time, connecting my hearing aids to the Bluetooth on my phone
“I mean . . .” Her cheeks flush, and I fight like hell not to adjust myself as she covers her face.
“Eyes on me, Lane.”
Dropping her hands, her eyes flash to mine, defiance shining back at me. And there it is. That fire I saw the very first time we met. “Has anyone ever told you you’re bossy?”
“Once or twice. You going to deny liking it?” I counter.
“No.” One single word, soft and low and so damn raw.
“I liked it. I liked seeing you like that,” she whispers.
“You looked sexy and powerful. And I knew you were . . . safe.” The last word slips out.
“And I like that you said my name. That you thought of me. It made me feel . . . I don’t know.
I guess for a split-second, I felt powerful. ”
“You are powerful, Lane. You have all the power. If we do this—any of this—it’s on your terms.” Fuck. I want this woman so bad. Weeks of watching her sleep. Of sleeping next to her. Of touching but not. It’s coming to a head. “I will never do anything you don’t want, Delaney.”
“But you want to . . . You want to do this? With me? You want to—” She closes her mouth and rolls her eyes. “You want to teach me?”
“I want to let you learn with me. I want to give you confidence in a safe space where you’d have control.” My words are measured and confident in a way I’m not sure I knew I was capable of. But everything about this woman seems to be a lesson in control.
Her gold-flecked eyes soften as she stares at me for a long minute.
Working through something I’m not privy to.
In the candlelight, her bruising is nearly gone.
Her creamy skin, nearly unmarked. The signs of trauma almost invisible to the naked eye.
But I’m not foolish enough to think they’re her only trauma. “Do you want me, Ryker?”
A slow smile spreads across my face. “So much, baby. I’ve wanted you for months.” There’s no hesitation in my answer. “I wish it hadn’t happened this way, but it didn’t change how I felt. Just changed my proximity to you.”
“Why?” she asks, completely clueless and so damn beautiful.
Because you’re everything.
Because you don’t see it.
Because you saw me.
Not my name. Not my career. Not my disability.
“Because you’re kind and sweet and beautiful.
You don’t take shit. You don’t need anyone or anything to take care of you.
Your sarcasm knows no bounds. And you’re so damn brave, beautiful.
” She’s all that and so much more. “I’ve wanted you since the first time we met at the bar.
I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you and you shot me down. ”
For a second, I think I pushed too far. Too hard.
“I don’t know what to say to that.” The admission hangs between us, and I lean back against the headboard, watching her.
“You don’t have to say anything.”
She nibbles her lip for a hot minute before relaxing. “I’ll see you when you get home, Ryker.”
“You going to be waiting for me, Lane?” My voice is hoarse with restraint as she smiles the sweetest smile.
“I’ll be ready for my first lesson.”