Chapter Five
Rory
“What do you need?” I ask the guy trembling like a leaf in front of me.
I should be in class right now, but I’m not feeling it.
I know it disappoints Bunny that Cillian and I aren’t as into school as he is, but it’s hard for me to find it in myself to care much about it.
What’s the point? It’s not as if I’ll spend my life doing anything other than being part of the O’Shea family, and for that life, a college degree is not required.
“Um…molly?” he says like it’s a question. It’s clear he doesn’t have a lot of experience with drugs, and while I should feel bad for selling to him, I don’t feel bad enough about it not to. He makes his own choices, and that’s not on me.
“Closet freak, huh? Help you go longer with your girl?”
“Guy, actually. He says it makes the sex better.”
I grin. “Huh. You’re a surprise. Just make sure it’s really what you want to do. If he can’t pleasure you without it, that’s a him problem. That’s as much of a public service announcement as you’re gonna get from me.”
His gaze darts around—he’s clearly nervous that we’re doing a drug deal in the snow, next to the Ashford U political science building.
“Relax, Mister Better Sex. We’ll be fine.” He gets his money out, and I pull the drugs from my bag. The second I’m paid and hand them over, I see the dean walk down the sidewalk, one building away.
“What’s up, Dean Winters?” I call and wave.
“What? Oh my God.” The kid dives behind a bush. “Don’t call his attention to us.”
“We’re fine.” The dean doesn’t wave back.
He hates it that he’s forever in our pocket, but that’s what happens when you have a fascination with choking women you pay to fuck and accidentally kill one.
“Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I tell the guy, then jog over to the dean. “What’s up, Hal?”
“Mr. Fitzpatrick.”
“There anything you need? I think you’d have fun with ketamine. You seem like the kind of guy who would like them a little incapacitated.”
“Jesus Christ, Rory.” This time, it’s the dean’s gaze darting around just like the kid did a few minutes before, and I laugh.
“I’m kidding. I don’t advocate for that shit. I actually like to cut off the dicks of guys who try to force people to fuck them. What a bunch of losers.”
He bristles, then lifts a hand, adjusting his glasses.
I shouldn’t be fucking with him, but I can’t help it. I’m so goddamned bored, and I feel out of sorts lately. Lonely, I think, like Ash said.
“I don’t feel like this is a very appropriate conversation,” the dean says.
“Mr. Fitzpatrick,” I add pointedly, to continue pissing him off. There’s nothing he can do about it, which makes this fun.
“Mr. Fitzpatrick,” he amends.
Since this isn’t as fun as I’d hoped, I say, “The kid you saw me with, he doesn’t get in trouble, right?” The dean knows we sell on campus but doesn’t usually see us in action. I don’t want him to find a roundabout way to get the horny nerd in trouble.
“I know. I hate myself for it.”
“You should hate yourself even more for killing that woman. I might have blood on my hands, but you do too. Have a good day, Hal.”
I pull my hood up and walk away. I head straight to my car, then back to the house.
It’s empty, everyone in class like good boys.
I smoke a bowl, then play video games, but it’s not as fun by myself.
The house is too quiet, my legs are getting restless, so before long, I push to my feet and stuff my hands in my pockets to grab my fidget spinner, but I must have lost it.
I have no idea what I’ll do when Cillian and Ollie are gone. That’ll make things even worse.
I tug my phone out of my pocket and text Cil.
Coming home after class?
Cil: Running an errand for Tiernan, then taking Ollie to lunch. Why? What’s up?
Nothing, really. I don’t know why I’m acting like this, why I suddenly have a problem being in an empty house and keeping myself busy.
Cil: Aren’t you supposed to be in class? I just checked your location and you’re at home. You need me?
I don’t. I’m just…antsy. It feels like everything is changing.
Nah, I’m fine. Was just curious. I’m gonna take a nap or some shit.
Cil: You don’t take naps.
Me: I do today, motherfucker. I can’t be tired or what?
I don’t have to add an LOL. Cil knows me well enough to realize I’m just busting his balls.
Cil: Stop being a bastard. Take your nap. I’ll see you later.
I don’t take a nap, though. I smoke another bowl, eat a bowl of cereal, then go upstairs.
I could leave, go find some trouble, go do shit I have no business doing, but then I’ll have to deal with Tiernan and his lectures about knowing how to control ourselves—though Dean’s been getting the brunt of those because the motherfucker is a loose cannon.
But I want to recreate the thrill I felt when Blue Eyes had a gun to my head, want to go out and do something, anything, to feel that sense of danger I love, or hell, maybe even just to find someone to fuck.
I want to, but I don’t go. Instead, I strip out of my clothes, grab the lube and one of my guns from my nightstand, and dick in one hand, my nine in the other, I jerk off, thinking about that night with Blue Eyes. A few minutes later, I come all over my chest, but it’s not enough.
*
I must have passed out because I’m startled awake by a knock on my bedroom door. I recognize Cillian’s quick rapping style.
“Come in,” I say, looking around for my underwear.
Cil chuckles. “It smells like cum in here.”
“Oh my God. You’re the horniest person I know.” Ollie picks up my boxer briefs and tosses them to me.
“Bunny? Do you know you? You’re the dick-hungriest person I’ve ever met.”
He blushes.
Cil and I have only shared him once, but it was the best night of my life—sharing the person Cillian loves with him…there are no words to express how much that means to me.
“Be good,” Cillian tells me.
“Where’s the fun in that?” I sit back on my bed, leaning against the headboard. Cillian and Ollie join me. “What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing. We just wanted to hang out with you,” Ollie replies.
“Fuck that. Something’s up.” I turn to Cillian, knowing he’ll keep it real because he knows I’ll kick his ass if he doesn’t.
“Just checking that everything’s okay. Shit’s changed a lot over the last year, and—”
“Shut up. Don’t finish that sentence. I’m fucking fine. I don’t need you to treat me with kid gloves because you and fucking Tiernan went and fell in love. I don’t want that shit, and I’m not so weak that I can’t handle being the only one alone.” I can’t believe he would even think that.
“That’s not weak.” Ollie puts his hand on my thigh. “We all need someone.”
“And I have lots of someones. I have the two of you, T, Dean, Ash, and I could find a different someone every night if I wanted to.”
Cillian pushes his hair back from his forehead, but it falls into place again. “Okay. I just wanted to be sure. You know shit will never change with us.”
Yes and no. But I won’t go into all that.
“You’re both pissing me off,” I say. “Is this an intervention?”
“No. I just don’t want you to do anything stupid while I’m gone,” Cillian says.
“I’m only allowed to do stupid stuff with you? Because we do things we’re not supposed to do every damn day.”
“You know what I mean. Don’t take unnecessary risks.”
He does have a point. I’m the worst at that. “I’ll do my best, but I can’t make any promises.”
“Rory,” Ollie starts, and I curse.
“Don’t do that sweet, doe-eyed shit.” It’s hard not to give him his way when he’s like that. Cillian is in trouble. I’m not even in love with the guy, and I can hardly tell him no.
“We just want you to be safe,” Ollie says. “We love you.”
“I’m always safe—well, as safe as this life allows.”
Ollie looks away, and I’m flooded with guilt. Sometimes I forget he’s not like us, forget how new all this is for him. Ollie struggles with the violence and danger of our world. “Sorry, Bunny. I’ll be safe.”
He grins, the brat. Of course he’d get his way.
“Is this intervention over? Can we talk about normal shit now?” I ask, trying not to be a dick, but feeling frustrated.
“How was school today?” Ollie asks.
“I skipped. Made lots of money, though.”
“Rory,” he complains.
“Let him be, Kitten. Pick your battles. Today that’s not the one,” Cillian defends me—well, kinda.
“They asked me if I could come into work tonight. I guess Shai called out.”
“Who the fuck is Shai?” Cillian asks, in unison with my, “She cute?”
Ollie rolls his eyes. “He. And he’s…very tattooed and pierced. He’s a new guy. I like him. We’ve been friendly. I think he’s been through a lot, and he seems lonely.”
My eyes shoot to Cillian, and sure enough, his jaw is locked. Before Cillian even utters a word, Ollie says, “Oh my God. Are you jealous?”
“No. I have no reason to be jealous. I know who you belong to. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to kill your friend.”
“You’re not going to touch him! I’m allowed to talk to people, Cil! I don’t want him. In fact, he teases me because all I do is talk about you.”
Cillian’s features soften slightly. “I’m meeting him.”
“Okay…did you think I would care? You can meet him when we get back from Michigan.” Their flight leaves early in the morning.
Cillian’s gaze finds mine. When we get back isn’t good enough for him. He wants to know everything he can about this Shai person ASAP.
I give him a simple nod, telling him I’ll take care of it.
“You’ll have Rory look into him, won’t you?”
“Are you two about to have an argument?” I ask and get flipped off by Cillian.
“Yes,” he tells Ollie. “I told you I won’t lie to you, and I won’t, so yes, I’ll have Rory and maybe Dean look into him. Not because I don’t trust you, but we live in a really dangerous world, and it’s important that I know who you’re spending time with.”
Ollie’s brows draw together. “That’s not something I thought about.”
“I’m sorry,” Cillian answers.
There’s no doubt in my mind he’s being real right now.
He does feel bad, but what he’s saying is absolutely true.
We learned this lesson from what went down with Dean—not that we would have discovered his true identity had we looked into him, but it showed us how easy it is to be fooled. “It’s because he loves you, Bunny.”
“I know. It’s just…new.”
“I’m sorry,” Cillian reiterates. “It comes with the territory when you’re mine. And make no mistake, there’s not a chance I won’t make sure he knows who you belong to.”
Heat flashes in Ollie’s gaze, and he shifts on my bed. “God, I can’t believe you’re jealous,” he says, choosing to focus on that rather than yet another way his life will change because he’s with Cillian. “And why is that so hot?”
I laugh. Bunny surprises me often.
“That’s because you’re a dirty boy,” Cillian says, then shoves off my bed and lifts Ollie into his arms. “I’ll be back, Ror.”
“Have fun.” I grin, watching them go, knowing he’s about to lose himself in Ollie’s body.
I pull on my clothes, glad to have something to do. First stop, I’ll have Dean work his magic online, finding me everything he can on this Shai.
*
Turns out, Shai’s past is scrubbed, buried, or he’s changed his name.
From everything Dean’s been able to find—starting with his full name when he hacked into the Pizza Palace—Shai Burrows has popped out of thin air when he moved to Ashford.
That puts me, Tiernan, and Dean on high alert, but we decide not to tell Cil about it yet.
He left for Michigan to meet Ollie’s dad, and he’s already nervous as shit about it.
It’s not every day the son of a Mafia boss meets his boyfriend’s family, and we don’t want him to have to worry about anything else.
“Follow him. See what you can figure out,” Tiernan tells me, then to Dean, “Keep digging.”
“Bet,” I reply. I’ve always liked to be the one to follow people—stalk them, I guess you could say. Another thing on a long list of shit that helps fulfill that rush I’m always looking for but have never sated.