Chapter Ten
Shai
It’s been two days, and I haven’t seen Rory again.
The thing is, sometimes I know he’s out there watching me.
I feel his eyes when I come home at night or when I go to work.
I sense it at the Pizza Palace too. I don’t know if I’m losing my mind and imagining it all, or if he’s really out there stalking me.
I wouldn’t put it past him. He has no boundaries and thinks he can do anything he wants. I’m not so sure he’s wrong.
I might not have graduated high school, but I’m not stupid.
I’ve researched everything I could about the O’Shea family.
Tiernan’s father used to be the boss, but he was murdered, and that’s when Cillian’s father, Rian, took over.
They had every accusation under the sun thrown their way—murder, money laundering, drug and illegal firearm sales—but nothing ever sticks.
Some of them have spent time in prison, but never for long, then got right back to it.
I can’t believe Ollie is mixed up with them.
That I am.
I might know a thing or two about pickpocketing, petty theft, and robbery, and I might have been around sex trafficking for most of my life, but it’s got nothing on their operation.
Jagger doesn’t have the money they have, and he’s sloppy in every possible way, which is why I don’t feel like he would ever come looking for my mom.
He’s a murderous asshole, yes, but he’s the definition of fuckup.
Nothing about Rory is, and nothing about what I read online is either.
I pick up my guitar, my fingers moving along the frets, my back against the wall, my legs stretched out on the mattress.
There’s no use pretending I’m not going to fuck him, that I don’t want to fuck him.
I’d do it without our deal, but now he’s given me a good reason other than want.
I’ll pay my debt because the last thing I want is to owe a Mafia family four thousand dollars, and then I’ll be done with him.
Heat skitters across my skin, then floods my belly.
My pulse speeds up, this unexplainable…desire, yes, but there’s more to it than that.
It’s like a craving, like Rory is this wildfire I want to both contain and feed because the burn is so fucking addicting and entrancing.
Which is fucking wild. I don’t know or trust him.
I want to hate him but don’t. Hell, I fucking respect him.
He got the best of me, this fearless fucking tornado that’s sucked me in despite my reluctance.
I don’t want to be pulled into the whirlwind of him, but everything about him is too intriguing not to be.
I want to hate him, but I want to possess him too.
That’s so foreign to me, something I’ve never felt before.
And I’m tired of fucking waiting.
I set my guitar down, grab a hoodie, and tug it on.
It wouldn’t be hard to find out where he lives.
I could go to the Pizza Palace and ask around, something I probably should’ve done already.
I pull my Chucks on and head down the hallway.
The second I step into my living room, I startle at the figure sitting on my couch.
“What the fuck. How did you get in here?”
Rory looks up from his phone but doesn’t answer.
“Did my mom let you in?” I thought she was sleeping. It’s only nine, but she’s been in bed most of the day.
“No. Kat’s home? Should I go say hi?”
“Stop pretending to be friends with my mom.”
“Who’s pretending?” Rory cocks a brow, and I want to punch him and see him on his knees for me at the same time.
“Stop breaking into my house,” I say instead.
“Why, when it’s so easy? Plus, I like listening to you play guitar. It’s relaxing. You’ll have to play more for me as my pet.”
My pulse thump-thump-thumps against my skin. “I’m not going to be your fucking pet.”
“You’re telling me no?” He slips his phone into his pocket.
I run my hand through my hair. Why does it always feel like he has the upper hand? “I’m not telling you no. If you want my dick, you can have it. Ride it to your heart’s content, but I won’t be your fucking pet.”
“Sure you won’t.”
“I’m serious. And I want my gun back.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “You don’t make the rules here. I gave you the choice to pay your debt like a respectable man would and because I’m not a fucking rapist, but this is my game, and you’re my entertainment.”
How would he react if he knew I’m as entertained by him as he is me? But the truth is, he knows. I basically admitted it. “How am I supposed to keep my mom safe without a weapon?”
“First, Kat can take care of herself. Second, until you pay me back, you’re mine, and if there’s one thing we do, it’s protect what’s ours.
If someone hurts her, they’ll have me to deal with.
” He takes a hit off a vape, and for the first time, I notice what looks like a small toy in his hand.
Neither of those things is enough to distract me from what Rory said, though.
That I would be his. That he protects what’s his.
Hunger and disgust fight like oil and water in my gut.
I don’t need him. I’ve never fucking needed anyone, and I’m not about to start now, but…but I’ve never had someone claiming me and fighting for me that way either. Not even my own mom.
The thought should be vile, like when Rory said Ollie belonged to Cillian, but the warmth radiating off my skin isn’t disgust. It’s hunger.
“What?” Rory asks. “What are you thinking right now?”
“Nothing.”
“Hmm. Must have been something good. Your eyes glazed over, and now you’re lying about it.”
“I didn’t… I’m not… God, you’re fucking infuriating!” I turn away and pace the small living room. I decide to ignore everything he just said and focus on the important topic at hand. “How does that help? Because she’s still fucking hurt.”
“I’ll think about it.” He pushes to his feet. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“Where are we going?”
“To fuck.” He walks toward the front door.
“I have a bed, lube, and condoms here. And we didn’t talk specifics. I’m not fucking you for an indefinite amount of time. I don’t do boyfriends.”
He laughs. “And you think I do? Relationships aren’t me, pet.
This is all about fun. Five hundred dollars per night of fucking—if we do it twice in one night, it counts as once.
We do it until you pay me back, unless I’m done with you first, which honestly is a possibility.
And a bed is not the only place to have sex.
I’m also not in the mood to scandalize Mama Kat. ”
“Can you not call my mom that?” Jesus, he makes me nuts. I never feel like I’m gaining any ground with him. I grab my jacket, though, clearly willing to go with him.
“You’re so picky about everything.”
“Fuck off.”
“But then you won’t be able to fuck me. I hope you’re not a disappointment.”
Jesus, this guy. “I know how to work my dick, thank you very much. It’s pierced too, if you were curious. And I’m sure you saw how big it is.”
He turns toward me. “No shit? Huh. That sounds fun. I like to try new things.”
We head outside into the freezing night. It’s the day before Christmas Eve, not that holidays matter to me. I don’t remember the last time my mom got me something, and to be fair, I don’t get her anything either.
I climb into the passenger seat of Rory’s BMW, shoot a quick text to my mom to let her know I left with him, then whistle. “The Mafia pays good money.”
“We live like fucking kings.”
“Must be nice.” It’s not until my seat belt is in place that I realize this could all be an elaborate ruse and he’s taking me somewhere to beat my ass or kill me.
He doesn’t seem the type, though—not that he wouldn’t kill me, he would, but he’d be honest about it. If I’m wrong, I’ll go out fighting.
“You taking me on a date first?” I ask.
“Nope.”
I frown, watching him in the dark vehicle as he drives out of Ashford. “Where are we going?” Goose bumps travel down my back, but not in fear…more like curiosity.
“You scared? Or does it get you hard not to know? Is it exciting that I can be taking you anywhere, to do anything to you, or did I read you wrong?”
“You don’t know me,” I argue. But the truth is, he’s right about me. It’s fucked up, I’m fucked up, but then again, he is too.
“Maybe not, but I see you.”
I…don’t know what to say to that. My stomach flips like a fish on a hook, only I can’t figure out if it’s a good feeling or a bad one.
“Cat got your tongue?” he asks. “We can always go rob someone if you’d like.”
“Maybe on our next date,” I joke.
“You keep talking like that, and I’ll think you really want that and will drop you off on the side of the road.”
I shake my head. “I will never give myself to someone that way. I’ll sure as shit never fall in love.”
“Did you get your heart broken? My poor pet.”
“No. I just know the world is filled with shitty people, and I’m not going to let them ruin me.”
He doesn’t respond right away. “I figure it’d be like that for me…what you’re saying, but it’s not for everyone. Dean has made Tiernan better, happier. And with Cil, I didn’t realize he was missing something, needed something, until he had Ollie.”
I turn slightly in the seat, watching this confusing, unhinged man talking about the people he cares about.
I’m trying to reconcile that with what I know of him.
The two things shouldn’t fit together. None of the people in my world care about anyone as much as I think he does them.
“It’s different…when you talk about Cillian than the others. ”
“Because Cillian and I will always be different.”
“Are you in love with Ollie’s boyfriend?”
“Why does it always go to that with everyone? Is romantic love the only kind there is? The be all, end all? I probably wouldn’t have a heart if it wasn’t for Cillian. I’d certainly be dead. But I am not and have never been in love with him. Some relationships are beyond that.”
I wouldn’t know the first thing about that. The only person I’ve ever loved is my mom, and that’s a completely different relationship. And she doesn’t keep me alive, she isn’t my heart. What he’s talking about is so foreign to me.
“Plus, romantic love is confusing. I’m not even sure I understand it.”
“No shit,” I reply, chuckling. “I’m with you there. Ollie doesn’t mind that you have such a connection with his man?”
“No, because Ollie is my bunny. He’s Cillian’s and he’s mine because Cillian is mine. We have something special too.”
I remember what he said about seeing someone else taking dick and how it made him curious. “Holy shit. You, Ollie, and Cillian all get together, don’t you?”
“Cillian and I don’t get together, and I would never touch Ollie sexually without him.”
“That makes no sense.”
“It doesn’t have to make sense to you. It only has to make sense to us.”
“Do you have romantic feelings for Ollie, then?” I’m not sure why I’m asking him so many questions, why I care so much about Rory in any way, especially with this poly thing he has going with Cillian and Ollie, but I can’t seem to stop myself.
He sighs. “Your questions are beginning to annoy me. They’re stupid.”
I chuckle. “You’re an asshole.”
“Thank you. And no, I don’t. Not in the way you’re thinking. I don’t know how to explain it other than all the ways I already have, and you’re lucky to have gotten that much out of me.”
I don’t ask him anything else about their dynamic. It has nothing to do with this. What Rory and I are doing is an exchange. I pay off my debt by fucking him, which doesn’t sound like a bad deal. And that will be the end of it.