Chapter Thirteen
Rory
“You doing okay?” Tiernan asks me.
I’m sitting on the couch, video-game controller in hand, the bong in front of me. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’ve been scarce while Cil’s been gone.”
At first, I was gone stalking Shai, and then the night he fucked me. I’ve watched him a little since then. It’s fun following him when he doesn’t know it. I’ve even sneaked into his house while he was sleeping, but we haven’t talked face-to-face again.
We are texting, though, small things here and there. I’ll ask how my pet is doing, and he’ll tell me all the things he wants to do to my ass. Honestly, I can’t fucking wait, but as careful as he was with me that night, I’m not sure I’m ready to take him again yet. Soon, though.
Tiernan crosses his arms. He’s wearing slacks and a button-up shirt like always, gaze studying and penetrating in a way only he’s capable of.
It’s like he’s always dissecting every interaction with every person he speaks to, filing everything away for later in that vast brain of his.
For others, he’ll use it against them. When it comes to us, it’s just his way of making sure we’re all on track and everyone is okay, without actually saying those words.
“You’re staying out of trouble?” he asks.
“Yes. I can handle a week without Cillian.” Maybe I should be annoyed that Tiernan is asking, but I’m not. I am who I am, and there’s no changing that. “Plus, he and Bunny will be back today, so all is good, Daddy T.”
“Fuck off.”
“You like those two words just as much as your boyfriend does.” Dean’s favorites are fuck you or fuck off.
He smiles in that way he does with anything that has to do with Dean, the same way Cillian is with Ollie, but that I’ve never had.
“Okay. As long as you’re good. If you’re not, you can come to me. Or Dean, or Ash.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not messed up about Cil being in love. If it wasn’t Ollie, I’d kill whoever it was, but it is Ollie, so I’m fine.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s not different,” he replies, his words snagging on an unexpected emotion in my chest. Regardless of how I dice it, there’s a kernel of truth in what he’s saying.
I know they all worry about me because, well, because I’m me, but also because of my parents.
My father was hard to control, and then he got himself murdered doing dumb shit.
Before that, my mom killed herself because she hated this life, yes, but she’d always been depressed.
She’d needed help mentally that she never received.
So they’re always looking for signs in me.
I’m not my parents because I have them—all of them: Cil, Ollie, Tiernan, Dean, and Ash. Without them…I don’t think any of us want to know where I’d be. “I’m good, T.”
“You can come to me if you’re ever not, okay? It doesn’t have to just be Cillian. We all take care of each other.”
That’s the thing outsiders will never see about us, never understand. I might not be a good man, I might do a lot of bad shit and hurt a lot of people, but I’ll do anything for the people who are mine. All of us would.
“I will.”
I hear a car door close outside, and my attention snaps to it.
Tiernan chuckles. “Go on.”
I shove off the couch to go greet Cillian and Ollie. It’d be stupid to pretend I didn’t miss them, that it felt the same here without them. I think I’ll always feel like that about all of them. We’re a family, and we belong together.
I head outside just as they’re walking toward the house, each carrying a bag. A part of me I haven’t even realized was tense relaxes. Cil and I haven’t been apart like this since I met him when I was five years old.
“Fucking finally. I thought I was going to have to fly to Michigan and bring your asses back home,” I say as they climb the porch stairs.
“Hey, Ror.” Cillian pulls me into a one-armed hug, pressing his lips against my forehead. “I missed you, you fucking idiot.”
I chuckle. He’s definitely going to think that when he finds out what I’ve been up to. “I missed you too.” When we pull apart, I say, “Bunny!” with all the enthusiasm in the world, wrap my arms around Ollie, and lift him. “Please don’t ask me about homework. We’re on winter break.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t study,” he reminds me as I put him down. “But I won’t bug you about it…yet. It’s good to be home.”
I ruffle his blond hair. “It’s good to have you both home. I’ve been so fucking bored,” I say automatically, but…have I really? Maybe when I wasn’t with Shai, but it was easy to forget when I was with him…or following him. “Come on. Let’s go inside. I’m freezing my balls off.”
Dean is downstairs now, Ollie and Cillian saying hello to him and T.
Aislin comes over too. All of us—minus Ollie—get high, then order takeout for dinner.
The kitchen is loud, just the way I like it, my family gathered for the meal.
My house was always quiet growing up, so I like it when we’re loud and together.
We didn’t do this when Cillian and Ollie were gone, like we knew it wouldn’t be the same if some of us were missing.
We didn’t celebrate Christmas either and plan to do that this weekend.
Cillian is rambling about the things they’d done in Michigan.
I know how nervous he’d been about going.
What the fuck do any of us know about meeting the parents of someone we’re dating?
It’s a foreign concept to us all, but it sounds like Ollie’s dad is a lot like Ollie—loving, accepting, seeing the good in people despite the fact that we have a lot of bad in us—and I’m glad for Cillian.
“So…guess what?” Aislin says when there’s a moment of silence at the table.
“You and Zuri are finally fucking?” I guess.
She rolls her eyes. “Jesus, Rory.”
“What? Are you in love with her or something?”
“No. I didn’t say that, and we’re not fucking, but we did kiss.” She gets hearts in her eyes the way Cil does when it comes to Bunny.
“Aww,” Ollie says.
“Hot,” Dean replies, making Tiernan growl in response. He’s very possessive of Dean. When he first came around, Tiernan would act like that even when Dean spent time with Ash, though Dean is gay.
“You’re not even into girls,” Cil says.
“Yeah, but it’s fun to piss off the little lord.” Dean points to Tiernan with his thumb. “Makes him mark me even harder later.”
“Okay, gross,” Ash says. “Can we talk about me now? I really, really like her. This is all so new for me.” Aislin has never been with a girl before, and hell, I’m not sure she’s ever really liked a guy either.
She came to Ashford U with all these plans to live a normal college experience, but that’s not how things have gone down for her.
“I think it’s sweet,” Ollie says.
“Good for you, Ash,” Cil agrees.
She looks at her brother, and Tiernan says, “I’m glad she’s not a dude. Because then I’d have to kill him.”
“You’re such a dick,” she tells him.
“I know.”
“And a misogynist. You assume she’s harmless because she’s a woman?”
“Our mother shot our father. You’re the most badass person I know. I don’t devalue her or any woman’s abilities. I’ll just want to kill any man who touches my little sister.”
“I’m not sure that doesn’t still make you a misogynist,” Ash argues, “but I do know you love me.” She wraps her arm around her brother and kisses his cheek.
While I know Tiernan would do anything for any of us, Dean and Ash are the two people he loves the most in the world.
The sun rises and sets on his sister, and despite his flaws, Ash loves him just as much.
“Wait. Your mom shot your father?” Ollie asks, and shit, I forgot he wouldn’t know that detail. It’s supposed to be a secret between us, T’s mom, and Conan, one of the men in our organization. “That’s, um…really scary.”
“He deserved it,” I say. “He would have killed Dean and Tiernan.”
“I’ll explain later, Kitten.” Cillian tugs Ollie to his lap, wrapping his arms around him from behind.
The conversation goes back to Ash and Zuri, and then we clean the kitchen and call it a night.
“Come upstairs with us for a bit,” Cillian tells me.
“We missed you.” Ollie threads his arm through mine.
I’m not an idiot. I know they’re doing this, at least in part, because they worry about me. Cillian checked in with me like crazy while he was gone, but they’re mine, and I’m not that guy who will push away something that feels good. Cillian and Ollie caring about me makes me feel worthy.
“I have to tell you guys something anyway.”
We head upstairs.
“Uh-oh,” Ollie says.
“It’s nothing bad, Bunny.” Well, that’s not really true. I don’t keep a lot from Cillian, but I won’t tell him that Shai robbed me because Cil would fucking kill him, and I’m not sure I’ll tell him I caught Shai robbing other people. That shit is beneath us, and…it’s fun.
I kick off my shoes and plop down on their bed, back against the headboard. They sit on either side of me.
“Ollie’s new friend fucked me,” I say, letting the words out easily.
Cillian curses. “What the fuck? I said figure out who he is, not fuck him.”
“Oh my God! Shai? You had sex with Shai?” Ollie asks.
“I did. I followed him, got to know his mom—she’s dangerous. I like her, but she’s trouble. Big mouth and likes attention.” And she doesn’t deserve Shai, but I keep that part to myself.
“Noted.” Cil crosses his arms. “What’s he want with Ollie?”
Cillian has a lot of trouble letting other people get close to us. He had the hardest time trusting Dean in the beginning. It’s possessiveness, but it’s also the caretaker in him. Yes, he’s a cold-blooded killer, but he takes care of those he loves. People aren’t just one thing.
“He just wants to be my friend,” Ollie tells him.
“Bingo.” I point to Ol. “I think he’s like us in that he hasn’t had many friends. Only unlike us, he doesn’t have any real family.” We all know I’m not talking about parents and relatives when I say family. I’m talking about the people in this house tonight.