1. Chapter 1
Ludiin
A month later.
“ Y ou’ll be fine,” Luci said breezily, smoothing a hand over his long shirt before spinning on his heel to admire himself in the mirror.
He looked effortlessly stunning, as always.
Every line of his outfit fell perfectly over his slender frame, every strand of blond hair obediently in place.
Elegance clung to him like a second skin, and Ludiin couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy.
Luci was supposed to be talking to him, comforting him, but instead, he was lost in his own reflection.
He probably had another date.
Luci always had dates. Meeting alphas came as easily to him as breathing. He could charm anyone with a smile and a few smooth words, while Ludiin… he was hopeless.
“Are you sure you can’t stay?” Ludiin asked, his voice small.
“No.”
“But…”
“It’s not complicated, Ludiin,” Luci interrupted gently, finally turning away from the mirror.
He crossed the room and sat beside him on the bed, his scent wrapping around Ludiin in a comforting embrace.
Ludiin leaned into his brother, wishing he could make him stay.
“You’ve got everything you need, right?”
“Yes,” Ludiin mumbled, cheeks flushing.
Luci had made sure of that. He’d bought him every kind of pleasuring bot imaginable, in every size.
Was he expected to use all of them? The thought made his skin prickle with anxiety. He felt like a stranger in his own body, out of his depth. Machines were easy. Predictable. But this… this was messy.
He would’ve felt better if Luci stayed, but Luci was going out, leaving him alone in this big, echoing house.
Ludiin’s eyes drifted toward his bedroom door, his gaze fixed as if he could see through it into the quiet hallway. Tarymn’s room was right across from his. Close. Too close.
Yet, he hadn’t minded it. He’d actually been looking forward to it. The idea of spending time with Tarymn, getting to know his stepbrother beyond the stories, had made him quietly hopeful.
Ludiin already felt like he knew him. Their dad had talked about him all the time. He'd told him how smart Tarymn was, how dependable, how he always managed to handle things. He spoke about Hym too, but it was Tarymn who stood out.
Ludiin had longed to meet him for years. And when he did meet him, his fear of alphas had gripped him. But to his surprise he’d pushed through it.
He’d actually spoken to him.
That had made him happy for days.
Ludiin had thought that maybe, if they spent time together, things would get easier. That being around alphas might not feel so overwhelming. That Tarymn might help him feel…normal.
But Tarymn had only stayed a few days before disappearing, slipping away without a word. Ludiin had tried not to take it personally, but it felt like Tarymn didn’t want them there.
Hym was nice, gentle and patient, but he was always busy and barely around. And Luci… Luci never stayed anywhere long.
That left Ludiin. Alone.
He usually didn’t mind solitude. He liked tinkering with his machines, disappearing into his little world, but here… this house felt cavernous and cold. Foreign.
He missed the PulseQuarters. Missed his room, missed his dad and his comforting scent. He even missed the steady buzz of life outside his window. Here, even the maids moved like ghosts, gliding through the halls without sound.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Luci said, nudging him out of his thoughts. “If you’re anything like me, you’ll have the best time of your life.” He paused, then added with a sly smile, “Although…”
“What?” Ludiin asked warily.
“I spent my first heat with an alpha,” Luci said.
Ludiin’s lips parted in shock. “You did? Wait. Did Dad know?”
Luci recoiled, eyes wide with mock horror. “Are you insane? Of course not. If he’d found out, he would’ve chained me to my bed like a prisoner. I snuck out and handled it myself.” He tilted his head, a playful glint in his eye. “Do you want me to find one for you?”
Ludiin’s eyes widened. He shook his head quickly, almost panicked. Just the thought sent a ripple of nerves down his spine. He wasn’t ready for that. Not even close. He could barely make eye contact with them. Having sex with one would be a disaster.
Machines he understood, people were…Ludiin shook his head.
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he said quietly.
“You will be,” Luci assured him, patting his arm before rising to his feet. “And if anything goes wrong, connect with me, and I’ll come back. But only if something is wrong, Ludiin.”
“Can something go wrong?” Ludiin asked, his voice tight. Luci’s gaze lingered on him for a moment before he gave a quick shake of his head.
“No.”
“Then why would you say that?” Ludiin snapped, his voice pitching higher.
Luci rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish grin tugging at his mouth. “Uhh… you’re so wound up it’s making me jittery too. And now I’m blurting out dumb shit. Stop stressing.”
“Okay,” Ludiin said, wiping his clammy hands on his thighs.
There was nothing to worry about.
He’d done the research, read every medical journal available on the subject.
He knew the biology. And in the rare, near-impossible case that he did need an alpha…
Ludiin slammed the door shut on that thought before it could take shape.
He didn’t want to think about being vulnerable like that. Not now. Not ever.
No. He was going to be fine.
“I should get going,” Luci said, crossing to the door. “Have fun.”
“Okay,” he murmured, watching Luci walking out the door. The soft click of the latch sounded louder than it should have, intensifying the nervous energy inside him. He took in a shaky breath, arms curling tightly around himself as he drew his knees to his chest.
“I’m going to be fine,” he whispered as he counted the seconds, waiting for the fire to take hold. For the change. For something. But two hours later, all he felt was a faint tingling at the base of his spine and a prickling sensitivity crawling across his skin.
Restless, he got to his feet and began to pace. That intense nervous energy surged, stronger now, impossible to ignore. It clawed its way up his throat.
This was it. It was starting.
His heart pounded wildly, breath coming in short, shallow gasps.
Just relax. Just breathe. It’s fine. It’s going to be fine.
But the longer he paced, the hotter his skin burned like he was in a fucking inferno. He yanked the tie from his hair, gasping as the sudden looseness felt like too much. His fingers trembled. Sweat beaded at his temples.
And then—
“Fuck!” Ludiin cried, knees buckling as a tidal wave of need crashed through him. He collapsed, palms flat against the floor, chest heaving.
It was more intense than he’d imagined. Overwhelming. Terrifying. But he was still okay. He had to be.
Dragging himself to the bed, he curled up on top of it, the sheets too rough, the air too thick.
“It’s going to be fine,” he whispered, again and again, as if the words alone could calm the fire burning inside him.