3. Chapter 3
Ludiin
" T arymn?"
Ludiin’s eyes flew open, heart pounding as he scanned the dim room for any trace of the alpha. Was it just a dream? He blinked up at the ceiling, chest tight, his thoughts spiraling into a frantic blur.
No. It wasn’t a dream. He had felt it. Tarymn had been there.
To be sure, Ludiin leaned closer, pressing his face into the sheets. He inhaled.
There.
He wasn’t imagining it. Tarymn had been with him. In this room. During his heat.
He had touched him.
Ludiin’s stomach twisted. He’d begged him to. Desperate and disoriented, consumed by the intensity of his first heat, he hadn’t just asked—he’d clung to the alpha like he was drowning. God, he’d practically thrown himself at him.
Oh Ludiin… what have you done?
Ludiin slapped a hand over his mouth as a broken, horrified moan escaped.
His chest rose and fell in sharp, uneven breaths, panic pounding against his ribs as the full weight of what he’d done came crashing down on him.
“I messed up everything …” he whispered, wishing he could disappear into the mattress.
A knock sounded at the door, then creaked open before Ludiin could say anything.
His heart slammed hard against his ribs at the thought of Tarymn coming back to his room.
He wouldn’t though.
Would he?
Fuck.
Ludiin winced. He wanted to scream go away , to hide, to vanish. He wasn’t ready to face anyone. Especially not Tarymn. Not after what happened. Not with shame clinging to his skin like sweat.
Fuck…fuck….fuck…
This was a complete disaster. Tarymn’s voice from the day they’d first met slithered into Ludiin’s mind, each word a slow, deliberate stab.
“He hasn’t gone through his first heat yet…” The judgment in that tone still burned, searing through his chest like a branding iron.
Was this what Tarymn had been dreading all along?
Oh, shit .
He was going to throw them out.
Definitely.
“Ludiin? You awake?” Luci’s voice filled the room, wrapping around him like a warm blanket. Relief flooded his chest, loosening the knot in his throat. It wasn’t Tarymn. The bed dipped as Luci sat beside him. “Your heat ended days ago. You should probably get up.”
“I’m sorry,” Ludiin whispered into the pillow, fighting tears. He never thought he’d be the reason why they became homeless.
He blinked. Wait. What?
Luci thought his heat ended days ago. And not last night. A flicker of hope stirred in Ludiin’s chest. He turned slowly, studying Luci’s face.
“Was it… that bad?” his brother asked.
It had been. The beginning was unbearable.
But then…Tarymn came. And his touch, his voice, his scent and the way he’d fucked him…
. Ludiin bit the inside of his cheek as warmth bloomed in his stomach, his body remembering far too much, far too vividly.
He shivered, and Luci’s hand came to rest gently on his shoulder.
“Hey? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Ludiin blurted, sitting up too fast, heart thudding as he forced the feelings back, stuffing them down where he couldn’t feel them.
He had to forget. Pretend nothing happened.
First step: apologize.
He wasn’t looking forward to it.
Second step: promise it will never happen again.
That, at least, Ludiin could swear with every breath in his body. The only thing he wanted was for Tarymn to forgive him and not throw them out.
“You should go wash up,” Luci said, nose wrinkling. “You reek of heat and… Tarymn.”
Ludiin froze. Luci had picked up on his scent. On Tarymn’s scent.
“I…it’s…”
“That alpha’s scent is everywhere,” Luci cut him off, rolling his eyes. “He’s back.”
I know.
The words pressed against Ludiin’s teeth, but he bit down, keeping them in. His face burned with shame.
“He looks sullen as always. But…”
“But what?” Ludiin asked, climbing out of bed with a growing sense of dread. He tugged at his shirt, pulling it down to cover as much of himself as possible before padding barefoot toward the washroom.
“He moved all your boxes to…”
“What? Why?” Ludiin’s feet halted mid-step, his breath catching as his heart slammed against his ribs. A knot of panic tightened in his chest. Was Tarymn throwing them out? But if that were true… why did Luci look so calm?
“Hey?” Luci got up from the bed, his face scrunching with concern as he stepped closer and took Ludiin’s arms gently. “You’re pale. Are you sure everything’s okay? You’re kind of scaring me right now.”
“I’m fine,” Ludiin said. “I just…You said Tarymn moved my boxes. Why would he do that?”
“I was getting to that,” Luci said with a huff. “You cut me off before I could explain. Come on, it’ll make more sense if you just see it. Go get cleaned up.”
“See what?” Ludiin hesitated.
“Go,” Luci said, giving him nothing.
Ludiin swallowed hard and turned away, feet dragging as he stepped into the washroom. He shut the door behind him and let his weight sag against it, the cool metal grounding him for a moment. His chest rose and fell with shaky breaths.
You can do this.
You can go out there and face whatever Tarymn had done.
Ludiin ground his teeth, his stomach twisting tighter with each breath.
Shit.
Facing Tarymn felt like standing at the edge of a cliff, knowing he had to jump but not sure if the landing would kill him or not. Alphas always made his skin crawl with nerves, their energy too big, too loud. He never knew how to be around them.
Ludiin dragged his hands down his face, a soft whimper escaping his mouth.
“I can do it,” he whispered into the quiet, over and over as he bathed and dressed, his hands trembling.
When he stepped out, Luci was still there, waiting. Without a word, his brother took his wrist and pulled him gently forward, leading him toward the narrow staircase that led to the third floor.
Toward Tarymn?
Ludiin stared at the stairs. He’d seen them before but never dared go up. He hadn’t wanted to be a nuisance.
But I ended up being one anyway.
He sighed, shame curling low in his stomach. If he could turn back time, back to before his heat, before the begging, before Tarymn touched him . He would.
Luci led him up into a vast open space with polished wooden floors, white-painted brick walls, and a skylight that flooded the room with a golden shaft of morning light. Ludiin blinked at the sudden brightness and at the sheer size of it. It took up the entire third floor.
His boxes were stacked neatly against one wall, and in the middle of the room, a group of betas were busy assembling metal shelves and sturdy workbenches.
Tools clinked, soft chatter, and the scent of fresh sawdust lingered in the air.
At the center of it all stood Pitra, directing the workers with calm authority.
He turned when he heard them approach, offering a warm smile.
“Morning,” he greeted.
“What... what’s going on?” Ludiin asked, still trying to make sense of everything. And he was shocked that he’d slept through all of it.
“Master Tarymn said you could use this space,” Pitra explained, gesturing to the entire studio-like room with a small nod. “I picked up a few things I thought you might need to get started. If I missed anything, just make a list. And feel free to decorate however you like. It’s all yours now.”
Ludiin turned to Luci, stunned.
“Tarymn did this?” he asked in disbelief. “For me ?”
“Yes,” Pitra said.
Ludiin didn’t think—he moved . Spinning around, he bolted for the stairs.
“Are you that happy? Damn, you’re easy!” Luci called teasingly after him, laughter in his voice. But underneath the mockery, Ludiin could hear the quiet pride. His brother was happy for him.
Down the stairs he flew, asking the first maid he saw where Tarymn was.
She pointed him toward the alpha’s office.
Ludiin followed her direction, pausing outside a tall door he’d passed a hundred times but never dared to approach.
It was the only one in the house that was made of wood, while the others were more modern and used access panels to open.
So, this was Tarymn’s space.
The door loomed, heavy and imposing, just like the alpha himself. And suddenly, Ludiin’s excitement waned, replaced by the quiet awkwardness that so often wrapped itself around him like a second skin. His heart pounded.
For once, don’t be you , he told himself, steeling his nerves as he raised a hand and knocked.
“Come in,” came the gruff, commanding voice from within.
Ludiin swallowed, opened the door, and stepped inside.
Tarymn sat behind a massive desk, his presence arresting as ever. He commanded the entire room without even trying.
Ludiin froze. His mind caught between nerves, awe and the memories from last night. He gave his head a small shake, as if the motion alone could scatter the feelings stirring beneath his skin.
He wasn’t here for that. Not for the memory of Tarymn’s hands gripping his hips as he pounded into him, or the way he had moaned and begged for him to do it harder. He was here for three things only: to thank Tarymn, to apologize, and to promise it would never happen again.
Last night was a mistake. A moment that didn’t belong to the real world. And it had to be forgotten, buried deep, sealed tight.
“Tarymn,” Ludiin began.
The alpha looked up, his golden eyes locking onto Ludiin with a slow, burning intensity.
Silence stretched between them awkward and tense.
You can do this , Ludiin reminded himself, even as his palms grew clammy and doubt clawed at his resolve.
“Uhm…” Ludiin stammered, stepping forward.
“Ludiin? Did you need something?”
Say it . Before you lose your nerve.
“Thank you,” Ludiin said softly. “I saw the den.”
Tarymn’s brow arched. “Den?”
“The room you gave me,” Ludiin clarified quickly, trying not to fidget.
“It’s… it’s lovely. Thank you. And...” He forced himself forward, his footsteps echoing softly as he crossed the room and stopped in front of the desk, fingers twitching at his sides.
“About last night… I… we… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… ”