30. Darcy
THIRTY
DARCY
Brianna and Becca wait while I back the farm truck into the parking spot behind our vendor stall.
“At long last, our fearless leader,” Becca says, raising an eyebrow and turning to Brianna. “Does she have the look of the satisfied?”
“Sure does,” Bri agrees, pulling the tent from the truck bed. “All rosy-cheeked and everything.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say. “Hurry up, we’ve got five minutes before we’re flooded with people.”
“Aye aye, captain,” Becca says. The day’s already sweltering, as can be expected for Fourth of July weekend in West Virginia, and sweat rolls down my spine.
Bri leans in for a closer whiff. “You smell like . . . man.” She raises her eyebrows. “ Essence of man.”
“Shut up.” My cheeks flame and I turn back to the truck bed to get out a table. Bri crouches on the other side and pops up the table legs. After we get it flipped and Becca covers it in a tablecloth, Bri continues her interrogation.
“Darcy Rossetti, were you a little slutty?”
I slam my hands at my side and stomp my foot. “Yes, okay! Not like you weren’t!” I hiss. “He wanted to, you know . . .”
“What, come on your perfect boobs?”
I twist my lips and tip my head from side to side. “Mark me.”
Bri’s jaw drops and she staggers backward, holding her ball cap on top of her head. I notice her wet bun sticking out the hole in the back. “Some of us had the decency to shower. You were showering in?—”
“Brianna!” I shout. “Help us get set up or go make yourself useful somewhere.”
Becca sets her jaw. “You two are sharing secrets over there and I’m jealous.”
“I’ll tell you later,” Bri and I say in unison, then cackle.
* * *
The market’s slower than expected. I should have known people would either be traveling or having their own celebrations on July Fourth weekend, but the peaches are ready, so the peaches must go. I send Becca home around eleven, and Bri walks her to her car.
I sit on the truck’s tailgate, swinging my feet as I get out my phone to check for any missed messages.
And I have one that keeps my feet kicking.
JAKE
Missing me yet?
I try to think of the most clever response.
Can’t miss you when you’re still all over me ;)
Jake surprises me by responding right away.
There’s more where that came from
Ha, came
Alright if I cum see you? You seem not busy
Ha, cum
See what I did there?
We’re not busy (crazy eyes emoji). Don’t you have a game?
Game before ours is running long so I have a few
Bri comes back and jumps up to sit next to me. “Talking to your man meat?”
I twist my ponytail behind me and sigh. “I like him.”
Bri tolerates no bullshit, ever. “But?”
“Oh, you know, that part where I just ran from my own wedding and probably have some trash to take out there.”
She fakes like she’s shaking my shoulders harder than she is. “Just enjoy iiiiit.”
I laugh. “Me? Enjoying things and not worrying about them? Never.”
“You’re a mess.” She’s quiet for a second, picking at her nails. “So Becca’s probably going to come to the barbecue tomorrow.”
I lift a brow. “Oh yeah? How was your evening?”
“Good,” Bri says with a coy look away from me.
“Hey, I told you about being a cum dumpster. You have to tell me about Eiffel Towering or whatever you got into.”
Bri cackles, then lowers her voice. “I don’t think you can Eiffel Tower with two women involved.” She starts moving her fingers around, trying to diagram it out in the air. “Unless it’s a narrow surface the person lying down is on and then she sits?—”
“I get it. How was it? Was it your first?”
She cocks her head to the side. “I guess we did Eiffel Tower, then.” I scream her name and she laughs again. “It was kind of amazing. Everything you’d hope for. And yeah, it was my first. Can check that off.”
“Would you do it again?” I ask.
“I think so. It was so hot. Crazy how adding one more person makes the activity level go up so much. It’s almost hard to keep track of everyone unless somebody’s just watching.”
I nod. “So Becca’s coming to the barbecue, but not Stone?”
Bri shrugs. “I guess he has to work.”
“Well, alright then,” I say, swiping over to check my phone app.
Despite the heat, my blood freezes.
There’s a received call from Rob. A three minute conversation around 9 p.m. I didn’t talk to Rob last night. I go to his contact and find something even worse.
Unblock caller
Meaning Rob’s number was blocked.
Not by me.
My hands quiver as I flip between apps, trying to figure out how this is possible.
“Bri,” I ask, my voice feeble. “Did you use my phone last night?”
She cocks her head back. “No, why?”
My breathing becomes ragged, matching the tremor reverberating through my body. “This is bad.”
A customer walks up. Bri gives me a quick look, assessing that I’m not in a good place to sell peaches. “I’ve got this one,” she says, hopping off the truck’s tailgate. “Go take a break.”
My hands shake, and fear sinks in from all sides. That’s who Jake was on the phone with. It wasn’t his phone in his hand—it was mine. Rob could come after me. He’s probably plotting his revenge. But the thing that makes me the most upset is that Jake did exactly what Rob did: controlled me. I’m in public, representing the farm so I can’t have a full breakdown here. I suck in one breath, then two, but my lungs feel like they’re full of sand. I do what I do best: convert my fear into rage.
I jam my phone in my back pocket and walk toward the front of the truck so customers can’t see me. I want to cry. I want to punch him. I want to push him into the muddy part of the pond. I want to load him up into a wheelbarrow full of manure.
They’re all the same. Men. They control you the first chance they get. Then they try to seem cute and fun and sexy by being a little kinky and making you wear their cum to work.
Okay, that’s one specific man.
And I just ran face-first into him.
“Hey.” Jake’s voice comes out breathy and surprised. “You alright, baby?”
“Don’t call me that,” I grit out, then push past him to head for the only bathrooms in the area.
Jake shuffles after me to catch up and touches my shoulder. “What’s the matter?”
I wheel around with my finger out. “I didn’t tell you to talk to him. I didn’t say I wanted you to block his number. I specifically said that would make things worse.”
Jake grimaces and sighs, making his hands into regretful fists, one of which he puts over his mouth. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t see you so upset like that. He was torturing you.”
“And you,” I say, poking him in the chest, “were controlling me. And you know for a fact that it’s exactly what he did to me.” My voice breaks and my lip trembles. “You knew, Jake. And you did it anyway.”
“I was trying to help,” he tries.
I shake my head. “That’s exactly what he would say. Everyone thinks I can’t run my own fucking life!”
I’m drawing attention from the smattering of people at the market, but I’m beyond caring.
“I don’t think that,” Jake says, trying to touch my shoulder.
I pull my arm away from him. “No! You told yourself you were the hero, that you could handle my life for me because I’m too weak to take it.”
His mouth opens and shuts like he’s choosing his words carefully. “Sometimes when you’ve been abused?—”
I step into him. “You had better shut your fucking mouth right this second, Jake Warren. You don’t know my life.”
“I’m trying to,” he pleads, and his eyes glisten while he breathes hard. “I want to.”
I set my jaw. “Bri can help me bring the horses in and out until she leaves.” I wipe sweat from my brow. “I’ll figure out something else from there. Maybe Caleb will help me. Or I’ll just do it alone. I’m the only person I could ever rely on, anyway.”
“Darcy,” Jake begs. “Please don’t do this. I’m sorry.”
“I feel so stupid. I thought you were different,” I whisper. “I don’t want to be with someone who can’t trust me to handle my own life. You invaded my privacy.”
Jake looks like I knocked the wind out of him.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, his eyelashes resting on his cheeks and his jaw flexing. “I never want to make you feel how he did.”
I consider believing him. The man in front of me is so different from the man I left in Raleigh, a tender soul. But everything is so jumbled in my head that it’s hard for me to separate what Jake did from how Rob was. Because Rob went in my phone too. He did it for different reasons, but he did it all the same. I press my fingers to my temples to try to slow my racing thoughts.
It’s not working. I can’t shake the feeling that Jake is just as dangerous as Rob was.
Jake gently squeezes my upper arm and I want all these dark voices to be wrong. I want that unique brand of comfort that Jake provides: the calm safety of his arms around me and his heart thudding under my ear. But the safety has been breached, and I’ve never felt more let down. I was the fool to hope it could be different.
My voice quivers when I deliver my last words. “You know, earlier I told you to be more disappointing. What I should have known was that you’d already disappointed me.”