37. Darcy
THIRTY-SEVEN
DARCY
With a genuine day off on Bill and Maggie’s last day in town, I take advantage of the time. Bri and I stayed up way too late writing our stupid Gilmore Girls fanfic. I see her off in the morning with a tearful goodbye.
And then I spend the rest of the day in a way I didn’t predict: I let myself create. Something new. Something from scratch. Something for the first time since Rob wanted me to spend all my time with him instead of with my laptop.
I always thought if I ever started writing for fun again, I’d use one of my half-baked ideas from my MFA.
But this is completely new, and it feels exhilarating.
And the most special thing about it is that I’m letting myself be me. Not doing what I “should” be doing, or what everyone expects me to do. I’m letting my thoughts roam, being a bummer when I want to, and funny when I want to, and downright raw.
Six thousand words later, Maggie knocks at my bedroom door.
“Shower much?” she teases.
A quick glance in the mirror over my dresser shows that I’m not exactly at my finest: tiny shorts, my hair in a nest on top of my head, and I’m pretty sure this shirt has a hole in it. “It’s a day off,” I protest.
“I know, I know. You want to ride with us up to Sally’s?”
I glance at the clock. I’ve got a little over an hour before I need to be there. But someone has to put the horses out. After last night, I’m willing to let Jake back in to that part of the day. And I might even want to bring him with me to the cookout. The one at Sally’s is more lowkey than the one we threw yesterday, but I get butterflies thinking of having him there with me. My cute cowboy . . . boyfriend?
I kick my feet against the quilt on my bed. I’m twenty-nine and giddy over the possibility of having a boyfriend. But he’s not just any boyfriend.
There’s the way he touches me so casually, like it’s natural to want to be near me. The way he was so easy with my family. The way he fucked up, but he apologized—and not just saying sorry. He explained how he knew what he did was wrong. In relationships, someone’s always going to fuck up, but how you fix it is the key.
“I’ll deal with the horses. Y’all go ahead. I need to get cleaned up.”
“Have you eaten anything?” she asks.
“Since breakfast? No.”
She shakes her head. “You’re crazy, girlie. You better get two plates when I see you next. And maybe see if that farmhand is hungry too.” She winks and closes the door behind her.
* * *
I’m showered and ready for the barbecue, heading for the barn to get the horses. I’m humming an old Diamond Rio song as I shuffle across the creek. The creek’s down today, a mere shadow of what it can be. If I hadn’t been almost cold in the air conditioning all day, I’d be dipping my toes into it.
I feel good. I’m writing again, and the joy of it births a hopeful bubbly feeling in my blood. And it’s not just the goofy shit Bri and I write, though honestly, with our modest fan base, we could probably make something of it if we just changed the character names and took it out of Stars Hollow.
But this writing is helping me find my voice again, something untouched by Rob and my attempt at adulting in Raleigh, while still being informed by that experience.
For the first time, it feels like maybe I can distance myself from that chapter of my life and not see it as ongoing. That chapter is over, and it’s time for me to figure out what the next chapter looks like. Rather than being terrified, I’m exhilarated.
Stepping into the barn, I find a pair of legs sticking out from under the tractor. A familiar patch of hair trails down his stomach where his shirt rides up, and an Adonis belt that I want to put my mouth all over appears just above his jeans. I call out a “hey” so I don’t scare the owner of the pair of legs.
Jake shifts himself out from under the tractor, lifting his ball cap and wiping his brow with the bottom of his shirt. “Hey. Haven’t seen you all day.”
“I could say the same of you,” I say, a little purr in my voice. “What’s up with the tractor?”
He blows through his lips and bends his legs, hooking his arms around his knees. He looks ridiculously hot, all sweaty with greasy hands that accentuate all the veins and sinew in them. “Belt’s about to give out. Not much more I can do today without going to get a part, and everything’s closed for the Fourth.”
I scrunch my brow. “How did you know to fix it?”
He shrugs. “Had a hunch and it’s been squeaking all to hell. Asked Bill if I could take a look.”
I decide I want to be the pest this time. “Not me? You forget who the boss is?”
Jake’s face is panic-stricken. “It just happened to come up yesterday. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but sometimes I get distracted around you.” He squints into the sun behind me. “You’re all dolled up. Going somewhere?”
“Just turning the horses out and then going to Aunt Sally’s for a barbecue.” I roll my lips between my teeth. “I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me, but it seems like you’re still on probation.”
Jake’s mouth falls open and his eyes round. “Still? Why? I thought yesterday—last night! I thought we were good!”
I jut out a hip. “Well, maybe you should have thought about that before going over my head to my uncle. Guess you’re back to thinking women can’t run a farm.”
I turn on my heel and head for the tack room. I get to the door before Jake follows me, pinning me to it from behind. My fight bait worked, and Jake plays right into my trap.
“I didn’t mean anything by it, boss. It just came up and we talked about it.”
I shove my ass back into his crotch to his groan. “You sure you don’t just think women are pretty little playthings?”
“Darce,” he warns, grinding into my ass. “My hands are all dirty or they’d be all over you.”
“Hmm,” I sniff, opening the door and walking into the tack room. “That’s no way to talk to your boss.”
I glance back at him over my shoulder as the door swings shut behind me. He growls as he holds it open and enters the room. “You’re going to be eating those words once I get this grease off my hands.”
I puff out my bottom lip, taking slow, careful steps toward where we keep the horses’ halters. “Am I?”
He’s at the utility sink furiously scrubbing his hands with Dawn soap, muttering curses, and glaring over at me. He grabs a fistful of paper towels to dry his hands, throwing them over his shoulder as he crosses the room in three paces.
My hand is on Freckle’s halter, my back to Jake. He nuzzles my neck. “Are you saying you don’t want my hands all over you?”
I shiver as he ghosts a kiss over that tender spot under my ear.
“Couldn’t hear you, boss,” he murmurs against my skin, pressing another kiss where my neck meets my shoulder. I sigh, my head cocking back slightly. “What if I just touch this dress?”
He bunches the skirt in his fingers, creeping it up inch by inch until it gathers around my hips. The humid July air hugs my bare ass. “I didn’t say you could touch me,” I say, entirely unconvincingly.
My stomach is in knots, my heart racing. I’m already getting wet, resisting the urge to rub my thighs together.
“I’m not touching you, darlin’. This is between me and this little dress.” He traces his finger along the lacy band of my thong. “And these tiny panties. Were you just going to leave everything to chance on a Fourth of July breeze? Show your ass to your whole family?”
“No,” I scoff.
“Who’d you wear these panties for, Darcy? Some guy you’re pretending you’re mad at?”
“You wish.”
He chuckles. “I don’t wish. I know.”
With both hands, his fingers follow the waistband from above my ass to just above my pussy, still not touching my skin. My breasts heave with my breath, shuddering with the need to touch him. “When are you going to stop pretending, boss?”
I curl my hips so his fingers will dig into my flesh through my panties. I moan, letting my head fall against his shoulder. His opposite hand presses against my stomach through my dress, slowly skimming up to cup my breast. “Fuck,” I gasp.
“You want to fuck? You want me to do you dirty in this tack room? Give it to you hard and fast like the sweet little slut you are?”
His fingers glide farther south, forcing the fabric of my underwear into my pussy. My jaw drops and some animalistic sound comes from my chest, the rough lace adding an unfathomable sensation inside me.
“So wet, Darcy,” he whispers in my ear. “That because you want me to bend you over that table and have my way with you, or because you want me to spread you out on it so I can suck on this pussy the way it needs?”
“Dammit, Jake,” I whine. “Give me something.”
“All you had to do was ask.” His hands leave me, and I feel cold for the split second it takes me to face him.
I survey his shirt and tear at the hem. “Your shirt’s dirty.”
He smirks as I lift his shirt over his head and put his hat back on, still backwards. “We’re the only two around?”
I nod as I lunge for him, one hand wrapping around his shoulder and the other against his neck. This isn’t the same Jake who gave me a sweet little goodnight kiss last night. This kiss is tender, but it’s far from gentle. Lip bites with swipes of the tongue to soothe it. Long sucks, hands clutching my back, groping down to my ass. I’m wrapped up in him, surrounded by his scent mingled with motor oil and Dawn soap.
His skin is warm, the salt of his dried sweat feeling exquisite under my fingers. I scrape my teeth over his tattoo to his hiss, and he sinks his hands into my ass.
Jake hoists under my thighs, carrying me to the table in the middle of the room. I stay perched on the edge, my legs spread wide to keep him close. He presses the thick ridge of his cock against my center, and that friction alone is enough to make me want to scream. He groans as I pull at his belt, popping it open and rubbing my palm against his length. The intensity in his eyes burns as he lets out a shuddering breath. My brows pinch as I continue rocking against his tip, looking down to watch his stiffness graze me.
I can’t watch for long because Jake’s lips suck down the column of my throat, working his way down my chest. He slips my dress’s strap to the side and engulfs my breast in his mouth, tongue swirling around my nipple. One hand braces on the table, giving me leverage to push against him while my other hand grips his back. Jake thrusts his hips, a flashback to what we did in his truck. His mouth travels over my neck again, my head falling back into his waiting hand.
I’m shameless: skirt up, breast bared, bowing into him. Hell, I’d climb into his skin if it meant that much more pleasure.
Jake sucks air through his teeth, his jaw clenched like I’m testing him. “If that’s what you need, darlin’, I’ll give you that, but I might die if I don’t get to taste you right now.”
“Please,” I breathe, and Jake kisses downward, stopping where his nibbles meet my clothes. Everywhere he goes, every kiss he delivers, is accompanied by the delicious burn of his stubble against my skin. He lifts my skirt higher, pressing kisses into my stomach as he wraps his fist around the crotch of my panties and pulls upward, hard. It’s an exquisite pain that elicits a shocked gasp from me, a new sensation where every nerve was already firing. It feels so stupid good, but that bitch anxiety shows up again.
“But, Jake—it might take a long time. We don’t have a toy.”
His gaze pierces up into mine. “Good thing I want to take my time on you.”
“You say that, and then you’ll be annoyed with how long it takes,” I say, a hand going to my forehead as I try to explain.
Jake stands straight between my spread legs now, and his hands swallow up my waist. “I will eat your cunt until you tell me to stop or my tongue falls off, but I only want you to stop me if you’re truly tired of it. I’m more than happy to drown in you. Got it?”
I nod and he grips my chin, coming in for a gentle kiss. “What could be sexier,” he starts against my lips, “than having your gorgeous wet pussy all over my face,” he lavishes a nipple with attention, “while all you can do is enjoy the ride?”
He wears a sexy smirk, holding my gaze while he sinks to his knees. I have on strappy sandals, and he works the buckles to get them off. His big hands working such a delicate piece of leather does something indescribable to me, only made more intense by the kisses he drizzles on my calves while he’s down there. Once my shoes are off and tossed aside, he arranges my legs over his shoulders. Those tan hands sweep over the tops of my thighs and his mouth grazes my inner thighs, encouraging me to open wider.
How the hell did I get this lucky, to have this incredible man on his knees, begging to have me?
“Relax for me, baby,” he says. “I’m gonna take good care of you.”
I prop one foot on his shoulder and lean back on the heels of my hands. “Good girl,” Jake rasps with a lazy nod. “Let me see you.”
His touch is gentle as he slips my panties to the side, the room’s warm air feeling cool on my exposed wet skin.
His hand drops to where his cock protrudes from his open pants, absently stroking himself while he surveys my most sensitive flesh.
“So fucking pretty,” he whispers.
His opposite hand caresses my thigh and his eyes drift up my body to meet mine, pure reverence and awe in his expression.
I’ve never felt so appreciated, and it sends a tingle all through me.
After a series of soft kisses all around it, Jake’s tongue sinks into me, and I writhe at the pleasure.
He gets to work, licking, sucking, and circling in a way that has me thrusting against his face. I cradle the back of his head in my hand, his backwards hat crushing on my palm. “Jake, fuck, it’s so good.”
He hums against my skin before wagging his whole face against me, the bill of his backwards cap tapping my inner thighs.
He’s savoring me like this is his favorite activity. I’ve never seen a man like this, so willing to give and actually turned on by giving. I think in a lot of other situations I’d be weirded out by a man touching himself while he looks at me. Rather than feeling objectified, it’s that much sexier. He’s so into me that he can’t control his desire.
It’s a 180 from my last relationship, where he went down on me because he felt like he should. Sometimes he admitted to liking it. Most of the time, though, it was the means to an end.
It wasn’t its own sex act, a main event.
Jake moans, wiggling a flat tongue against me before he launches an intense suck.
“You’re so fucking hot,” I say, and Jake shifts his voracious stare up to me. He sits back for a moment, watching himself insert his middle and ring fingers inside me before spitting on my pussy.
“You taste perfect,” he says, then dives back in, combining his fingers’ workings with his tongue’s. Is this guy some kind of female pleasure wizard? How is this possible?
“Right there, please don’t stop,” I cry. His eyes flash up to meet mine, thrill mingling with desire for an expression I hope to never forget. “I want to come on your face.”
Jake’s lips spread in a smile, but he doesn’t stop licking. He breaks away for a second to say, “Drench me.”
I swallow on a dry throat, inching closer to oblivion. My hand threads with his on top of my thigh and squeezes, my peak so close. He mutters a cuss against my flesh, sucking intensely while flicking his tongue. My inner thighs start to shake, my ab muscles tightening.
Jake’s moans get more intense, his hand leaving my thigh to touch himself again. He grunts against me, his brows drawing together.
“Are you coming?” I pant, and he nods with a whimper. “Oh, fuck.”
A guy came while pleasuring me, and my own pleasure soars. My eyes widen and round, focused on his before I slam them shut and pulse into his face.
“Attagirl,” Jake growls, putting his warm mouth back on me for long, soft licks as I come down. Only when I squirm away from him does he sit back, examining the crotch of his pants. “Fuck.”
“That’s so hot,” I sigh, unable to resist thrusting my fingers inside myself. The thought of him coming just at the act of pleasuring me has me close all over again.
“Fuck, can we get you another one?”
“I think so,” I cry. He pushes my hand away, replacing it with his fingers and tongue. I’m cussing and panting and my jaw is almost chattering but with a drop back onto my elbows, I come again. This time, I’m sure I leave a mess on the table.
“That the last one?” he asks, breathing out hard and licking his lips.
“It’s all I can take,” I say, looking at him incredulously. “Thank you.”
“Thank you ,” he says, gesturing at his pants again and laughing. “Still batting a thousand.” I knock his hat off and tousle his sweaty hair in my hand.
“I think I’m a little late to the barbecue,” I giggle.
Jake grins and stands. “You reconsidering taking a date?”
“Maybe if he gets cleaned up. I can’t take a dirty cowboy to meet the family with cum all over his pants.” I put an exhausted kiss on his lips. “I’ll get the horses out and you can go shower?”
“Sounds good,” he sighs, but instead of pulling away, he just kisses me again. “You are so beautiful.”
I wrap my legs around him, keeping him close for another kiss. “You are too, cowboy.”