Chapter 30 #2
But his eyes were shut, and my heart stuttered. “Noah!” “I’m awake, I’m awake,” he groaned. “Just resting my eyes. My head hurts like hell.”
“Please just keep your eyes open.”
He slowly opened them once more and gave me a weak smile.
Seeing the pain in his eyes sparked me into action, and I started the truck. My hands were shaking as I slammed down on the accelerator, and we took off from the curb. I was so worried Noah was going to pass out again, and it was impossible to stay focused on the road.
I kept turning to look at Noah, checking he hadn’t closed his eyes again. Thankfully, he kept them open, but his face was tense, and he kept lightly touching his head and wincing in pain. It looked like he was feeling worse now that some of the initial shock had worn off.
It took us less than ten minutes to get to the emergency room.
As soon as we pulled up outside, I jumped from the truck and ran around to the passenger side to help Noah out.
I was in such a rush to get him inside the building it took me a moment to realize he was smiling at me as I was helping him from the vehicle.
“What?” I asked.
“You drove.” His smile became a little bigger.
“I…” I looked at the truck in surprise. He was right.
I’d driven all the way here, and I hadn’t once hesitated, or frozen, or refused to pull out of the parking space.
I’d been so worried about Noah I hadn’t even considered my driving fears, and the nerves that usually accompanied me whenever I got behind the wheel were nowhere to be seen.
It had all happened so naturally. So easily.
“I told you,” Noah mumbled. “You were overthinking it.”
“You said that to tease me.”
“I said that to help you, actually,” he replied. “Now, can we get inside? I’d prefer not to pass out in front of you again.”
“Right.” I pulled my attention from the truck. “Of course.”
When I got him inside, I spoke to the nearest nurse, and they directed us to a packed waiting room. Noah was quickly assessed by another nurse, who confirmed he probably had a concussion. However, she wanted him to see a doctor so he could be assessed for any more serious injuries and side effects.
We were told to expect a long wait though. The icy conditions on the mountain seemed to have resulted in a lot of injuries today, and Noah’s fall appeared to be less urgent than the injuries of some of the other people in the emergency room.
Noah was patient though and didn’t once complain.
It took over an hour before a bed freed up, and we had to wait longer still for a doctor.
Noah’s eyes were far more focused now, but his lips remained tense.
He kept trying to reassure me he wasn’t in any pain, but I was convinced he was only saying that to make sure I didn’t worry.
We talked constantly as we waited. I think we were both in need of a distraction.
Noah from his pain and me from the memory of Noah passed out on the icy road.
Whenever we grew silent, it left room for intrusive thoughts, and the image of him lying there overcame me.
I didn’t want to analyze the emotions that had stirred inside me when I’d seen Noah unconscious and unmoving on the ground.
How the sight of his eyes blinking open when I was so worried they wouldn’t had awoken something in my heart that I’d been desperately trying to bury.
“This trip can’t end soon enough,” I muttered as I checked the time and realized we’d been waiting for over two hours.
“When are you heading back to Rapid Bay?” Noah asked.
“In the morning.” It felt like a relief. This holiday had been one disaster after another, and now all I wanted to do was to get home to my mom.
“I’ll be heading back to New York then too,” Noah said.
“How are things with your grandfather?”
“I haven’t spoken to him since that night you overheard us,” Noah said. “He’s left me messages though. My voice mail is filled with his ranting and raving.”
“Is he still threatening to destroy your father’s memorial?”
“He is, but Matthew’s been a great help. Despite his threats, William can’t just build a parking lot there without getting certain approvals, and Matthew’s got a lot of contacts. We’ll stop him.”
“I’m really sorry, Noah.”
“Don’t be.” He shook his head. “He was always going to fight back, but taking him down was worth it. Not least of all because I don’t have to pretend around him anymore. It was exhausting.”
Noah seemed freer since everything that happened in New York. It was as if he was finally able to act like his true self now he wasn’t under his grandfather’s thumb. The person I’d previously seen in glimpses when it was just the two of us could now reveal himself to the world.
“So, what happened with Wes?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I’m not talking about that with you.”
“You seemed pretty upset with him,” he replied.
“We just had an argument, that’s all.”
“It’s not just an argument when he throws unfair accusations at you and you end up trudging through the snow half dressed and freezing.”
“Noah…” I sighed, my tone a final warning that I couldn’t bring myself to discuss this with him.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You probably think I’m cheering inside at the fact you and Wes had a fight, but, more than anything, I just hate seeing you upset.”
I glanced away from him, unable to hold his gaze for more than a few seconds.
“I’m not perfect,” he continued. “But, just so you know, I would never doubt you like that.”
I tried not to let his words get to me. I really did. But I suddenly found myself struggling not to cry. “I’ll be back in a moment,” I said, rising from my chair.
“Isobel…” Noah called after me, but I didn’t look back at him as I walked away. His words had wormed their way under my skin, and the tears I’d been keeping at bay threatened to fall.
I’d been trying my best not to think about my argument with Wes, but Noah was right.
He had struggled to trust me since the start.
And despite our best efforts to overcome that, he no longer felt I was worth it.
He’d let me walk away and hadn’t come after me.
What did that say about the way he felt about me?
What did that say about our future together?
I’d experienced too much heartbreak this year, and I wasn’t ready to face it again.
It felt like I’d been fighting for my relationship with Wes for weeks though, and I wasn’t sure I could keep going.
I cared about him so much, but I felt like he wasn’t ever going to trust me the way I deserved.
I didn’t want us to be over, and while Wes hadn’t said those exact words, the empty feeling in my gut warned me we probably already were.
By the time I returned to Noah’s room, the doctor had arrived to see him. Noah kept trying to catch my eye, but my focus remained on the doctor.
She inspected Noah thoroughly and confirmed his concussion.
Thankfully though, Noah hadn’t done any serious damage to his head when he’d fallen, and the doctor was much less concerned than I had been when I’d heard his skull crack against the icy ground.
She told him to make sure he got plenty of rest and was extra careful on the ice.
Much to my relief, Noah was going to be fine.
Once I knew he was okay, I couldn’t wait to get out of the emergency room.
My haste was partly because I needed some space from Noah so I could try to process everything that had happened that afternoon.
But also, it was because I was still wearing nothing but a bikini and Noah’s sweatshirt.
Not only was I uncomfortable, but I must have looked ridiculous.
“So, do you think we’ll ever stop falling for each other?” Noah said with a grin as we made our way to the car.
The question elicited memories of us tumbling to the ground in the woods, of him wrapping his arms around my waist to save me as my skis hurled out of control, of him staring lovingly into my eyes on the beach, and all those little moments when he’d share a fleeting smile that only I ever got to see.
They were memories I didn’t want to think about right now.
And I definitely wasn’t ready to joke about what had happened today when we’d fallen on the ice and knocked him unconscious.
Now that I knew he wasn’t seriously injured, it felt like I could be angry with him again.
That seemed like a far safer focus for my pent-up energy.
“You scared me half to death today,” I said. “You know that, right?”
“It was just a little fall.”
“Just a little fall? I had to rush you to hospital.”
“Maybe if you hadn’t been so stubborn and just got in the car like I asked, it wouldn’t have happened,” he said.
“Or maybe if you hadn’t insisted on forcing me into the car against my will, it wouldn’t have happened.”
“You were being too reckless,” he said.
“You were being too persistent.”
“God, I love you, Isobel.”
I fell silent, and the blood rushed from my skin. My heart seemed to both swell and shatter at the sound of that word. How easily he said it. How he looked at me like I was everything to him. How he could still feel that way about me when I’d spent weeks telling him he shouldn’t.
He gave me a sad smile, like he knew exactly what was going through my head. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have…”
“But I’m not sorry that I did. Yes, it’s not fair of me, but I don’t really care. I love you, Isobel, and I would happily fall a million times over if it meant I got to hold you in my arms like I did today.”
I forced myself to glance away. “We should get home.”
He nodded, but as we climbed into the truck, he continued. “You can try to ignore this all you want, Crash. But that won’t change the way I feel about you. Nothing will ever change that.”
I refused to look at him. Refused to listen to him.
Refused to let his words burrow their way into my soul.
But it was growing harder to ignore how much he cared about me.
And after seeing him hurt today, I was starting to realize there were feelings inside me that might also be too strong to ignore any longer.