8. Sid
SID
W alking across the street to Papa’s, I see her car is still in my driveway. Bitch better wake up and leave before her car is no more.
Jack and Sally snort, equally as disgusted as I am.
Oh dear, I guess we really are moving toward the anger stage. I’d cut that bitch right now and not blink an eye, then perhaps throw her body in her car and burn her alive.
How exciting!
My heart races at the idea, though this unexpected hit of adrenaline needs to calm down. It makes me have thoughts I can’t have… yet.
First, I have shit to handle with Papa. A day in the life of a leader, I suppose. Oh, how priorities have changed, perhaps this is what maturing looks like.
Strolling up his driveway, I unleash the babies and lead them into his fenced backyard.
My dad once had a body farm back here so they get excited and try truffling for hidden treats, if you know what I mean.
The odd ear or finger still lingers beneath the soil, although I often wonder if my dad plants them back here for Jack and Sally to find.
Leaving them to it, I watch as their curly tails wiggle with excitement.
As they start digging with their cute little noses, I go to the patio door which leads to Papa’s office.
Turning the warm metal handle, I find it unlocked.
And walking in, I am greeted by his big smile, with hooded eyes from behind the large wooden desk.
I freeze.
What have I just walked in on? My absolute worst nightmare, no person should see any family in this state. Fuck me, well, I’m here now. This is happening.
Alarmed, my mouth opens and I can’t stop it, “If I’m interrupting something, I can come back?”
Okay, that was polite, one point to me. But, internally I am praying and begging to Satan.
Please, Rylee, don’t be under the desk. Please.
Papa rises and my eyes shift instantly to the wall. Do not look directly at the light. Clapping his hands, I’m startled and look back toward him. Fuck.
Wearing his classic gray sweats and white V-neck tee, his strong hands still clap. “No, you’re right on time.”
Releasing all the breath in my lungs, I sigh in relief. Rylee’s not under the desk and Papa is completely flaccid. This is a win I needed today. “Thank you, Satan. I’ll always be your humble servant,” I sweetly say, speaking to the floor.
Papa laughs, shaking his head. “I don’t even want to know.”
Good, because I was not going to speak it out loud. But he was definitely day dreaming about something naughty.
Glancing back at him, I catch the moment when his face goes from cheerful and carefree to concerned and worried.
Papa’s eyes take me in, catching every detail that the average person may not even notice. He has always been extremely observant. His thick brows scrunch and his lips pinch beneath his trimmed beard. “Speak. What happened?”
Biting my lip, I shake my head in defiance and brush him off completely. “I don't need to talk about it.” Stepping forward, I can feel my skin warming, cheeks flushed as his eyes attempt to penetrate my soul for answers.
Yes, he is that fucking good.
Sitting on the soft brown leather couch, anxiety courses through my veins and my heart continues to race. I avoid eye contact and stare at his glass of whiskey and burning cigar instead.
I feel him move, his rings scraping against the hard wood desk tell me he is now leaning, still only focusing on me.
Papa knows this shit makes me uncomfortable, but he doesn’t give a fuck. Family is his priority, but I don’t care to be that priority right now.
His tone is low, serious, and downright bone chilling. “Talk.”
Closing my eyes, I try to muster the courage.
Everything inside of me screams that he will be disappointed, and think I am an embarrassment.
To be fooled by her would make our name a disgrace.
The thought of it all causes tears to well in my eyes.
Blinking rapidly, I force them away. What did that one movie always say, thou shall not pass? Neither will these tears.
Clearing his throat, Papa’s approach changes, this time it’s more warm, encouraging, and concerned. “Get out of your head, baby Sin. Talk to me, girl.”
Leaning forward, I curl into myself, images of what I saw on the VHS flashing before my eyes. Shaking, I whisper, “I’m sorry.”
“I need more than that. Nothing you could have done would make me disappointed in you. Have you met your father?” He chuckles to himself. I smirk, I mean, he isn’t wrong. And he loves dad, so fucking much, but my dad can be a tad unhinged.
Sitting with that, my sadness and shame start to transition into pure fucking rage, because how dare she play me for a fool? I am a fucking Sinclair.
Spitting my words out, I reveal, “She’s not with us. She is against us. Anyone who fucks a pest is forever an enemy. ”
Papa passes me his glass of whiskey, and says, “Tell me more.”
Reaching out, I take his drink and down the amber liquid back in one go. It’s fire on my throat going down and warms my cheeks further as I spit out the traitor whore’s name for the last fucking time. “Abi.”
Crossing his arms over his broad chest, Papa lets that marinate for a moment. “Baby Sin, I say this out of love, but fuck that bitch.”
He’s calm and I’m wondering if this is some sort of trick. Eyeing him up, I question, “What do you mean?”
“Fuck her. This is business now. Handle it.” His bluntness catches me off guard, but he’s right. The relationship is over, not only did she betray me but the entire society. Getting in bed with the enemy is the greatest sin, and she committed it… and because of her I have sinned too.
Still worried, drenched in shame, “You’re not mad at me?”
Papa relaxes and walks toward me, placing his hand on my exposed shoulder, and squeezing it, he reassures me, “Never.”
I needed to hear this so fucking bad, but I am finding it hard to believe it. “But I didn’t even suspect anything. I feel like a failure.”
“We all get played from time to time. What matters is how you get back up and never allow it to happen again, that’s what people watch for in leaders.
” He pauses, allowing that to sink in before continuing, “Cheaters are experts in manipulation and gaslighting. Plus, this was your first real relationship, you were engulfed in the magic of it all. Fuck, I didn’t even suspect anything, Sid.
She played us all. You will learn from this and it will be the first and only time something like this happens. ”
As much as this stings so fucking bad, his words bring me comfort in an evening of self-loathing and pity. I can’t believe I thought she could have been my forever, I’m so fucking stupid.
“So you’re not going to take Diablo away from me?”
Chuckling, both his hands cup my face, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “No, you earned it, sweetie.”
Grinning from ear to ear, I get excited. “So, can I kill her?”
“I would expect nothing less from you, baby Sin”
I don’t know what I would ever do without this man. He has been a source of strength, comfort, and wisdom in my life. I’m the luckiest girl around to be able to spend quality time like this with her grandfather and to have such a strong bond with one another, there is no price tag on that.
“We do have some business to discuss, can you handle that?”
“Absolutely. Fuck that bitch, right, Papa?” He joins me in laughter while stepping back and returning to his chair.
“To be a leader, you cannot be nice, it’s a weakness that if the wrong person sees, it will destroy your reign.
They will walk right over you, Sid. Our team may be grown adults, but who doesn’t like getting what they want when they want it?
” He makes a valid point. He’s repeated this several times to me, ensuring it’s instilled in my brain.
“It’s about listening to your people, making them feel heard while also making firm decisions and sticking with them.
Believe in yourself and they will believe in you. ”
“Understood.”
“And I see them believing in you more and more each day. I think it's time. Five days from now, during the next full moon, because I know you're into that weird shit.”
What a fucking day. This time, tears of joy stream down my face, followed by a sob of relief, “Thank you.”
“Your biggest test coming into this will be how you handle Abi, the pest… then your brother.” Fuck, don’t I know it.
“Odds are good that Abi was feeding the pest information about our internal operations. Abi knew enough to provide a pretty good landscape to them .”
Them being the loyalist to The Exiled, which died many moons ago, but like the pest from the tunnel, they just won’t go away until I kill them all. One by one I will stomp on them, making their kind extinct.
We will always have a great relationship with the local MC, they have their businesses which we dabble in as well, aka arms and street drugs.
Suppose you could call us associates of sorts.
And we have a common enemy: anyone who tries to come in and take a piece of what we own.
Key word here is try, because they never fucking win .
This is our town.
Tapping my chin, I ponder, until my phone interrupts my brainstorming session.
Snatching it from between my breasts, looking at the screen I see it’s Lucy, who helps keep The Damned in line.
They can be little shits once initiated, their egos explode along with their overeagerness, which turns them into fucking idiots for a few months while she puts them back in their place.