25. Viggo #2
But this was Dexter. It seemed wrong that he didn’t know about my sister.
“She died in her sleep,” I replied after a minute. “Anni had a rare heart condition. An electric rhythm disorder, they said. Cardiac arrhythmia. Her heart would beat too fast and she’d faint, pass out. She had a few episodes in the months before she…was gone, but she was never diagnosed.”
Dex frowned. “Why? Fainting and passing out isn’t normal behavior in a young woman.”
“No, it’s not. She saw a specialist who did tests and prescribed medication, but no one thought she was in serious danger. The doctors suggested that with some lifestyle modifications she’d be fine.”
“What do you mean?”
A vision of Anni sprang to mind, dancing at a cousin’s wedding, spinning and spinning in the middle of a dance floor like a witch or a goddess…and everyone watching to see what she’d do next.
“Anni was a fireball whirlwind who lived every day as if it were her last—as if she knew something the rest of us didn’t.
Our parents never knew how to deal with her.
Anni was the youngest, a surprise, and they were focused on their careers.
Lars and I were much older, and in some ways, we raised her.
She followed us everywhere. We called her our shadow, but she was noisier than a shadow.
” My lips curled in reminiscence. “She’d pop up everywhere.
A little pig-tailed girl with shoelaces undone who’d drop fake spiders from the stairwell to frighten our friends. ”
“I think I like her.”
“Everyone did. Anni was a pest—the lovable kind. I left for the US when she was nine, and I missed her, I missed home, but I was so”—I paused to search for the right word in English—“enchanted with a new life. I didn’t worry about her, and I should have.”
“Oh, Viggo.” Dex set his hand on my knee. “I hope you don’t blame yourself.”
“Of course I do. We all do. I shouldn’t have left the country, Lars should have taken a job closer to home, our parents should have paid more attention.
So many ways to cast blame, but we just didn’t know.
In a lot of ways, Anni was a typical high-strung teenager—popular, pretty, and prone to act first and think later.
She packed a lot of living into her twenty-one years.
Anni liked bright lights, wild parties, drugs, alcohol, and bad ideas.
She did as she pleased—asked for forgiveness after the fact, never permission.
A trip to Milan for the weekend with a man she met at a bar, no problem.
Skiing in the Alps on someone else’s credit card, no problem.
She was fun, carefree, the girl everyone wants to be seen with. You’d never know we were related.”
Dex linked our fingers and kissed my knuckles. “You’re fun.”
“Hmph. Not like Anni. There’s no one like her.” My voice cracked. I cleared my throat and tried again. “My sister had a gift for talking herself into and out of mischief. It was very like her to show up on my doorstep in Minnesota, stay for a month, and somehow make you wish she’d never leave.”
“She came with Freya?”
“Yes. They were the very best of friends. My parents thought Freya led Anni astray with her American influence, but Freya looked after Anni. She kept her safe as best she could. And that was without knowing there was real danger lurking…in her heart. You don’t think about seeing a cardiologist at that age.
My father is a doctor, for fuck’s sake. He was—” I paused to wipe tears from my eyes.
“Losing her destroyed us. But maybe Freya most of all. She found her.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Ja. I’m sure none of this was included on her personal history sheet for the family planning agency, but don’t be concerned.”
“I’m not.”
“Good. Freya is healing and rebuilding. Learning to cope with grief and start over is not for the faint of heart. She’s been working at it for eight years.
She is a strong woman—a good person, inside and out.
She was a great friend to Anni. And when she calls me her best friend now, you know I’m just a stand-in for the real thing. A second banana.”
Dex smiled at my attempt at levity but sobered immediately. “Is this why Freya moved to the US? A fresh start?”
“Yes. She did some struggling of her own and eventually found her way to Vermont. And to you.” I stared at our joined hands and added, unthinking, “The baby is a big surprise, though.”
“Why?”
I opened and closed my mouth. But I’d already said too much. What difference did it make now? “Anni was pregnant.”
Dexter gaped. “Oh, fuck. Really?”
“Just a few weeks along. No one knew, but…we think she knew. She’d say things like…
‘If I have a baby, I’m going to be a dragon mother.
If I ever have a girl, she’ll be a warrior princess.
If I ever have a boy, he’ll be a strong lion…
very brave.’ ” I wrinkled my nose and shrugged.
“It sounds different in Swedish, but you get the idea. She was leaving hints.”
“Why do you think Freya wanted to become a surrogate? Do you think it has something to do with your sister?”
“Maybe. A little. I think she’s facing fear, exorcising demons…
maybe letting her friend go.” I rubbed my bearded jaw thoughtfully.
“Freya didn’t know about the baby, didn’t know who the father was, and it’s a loose thread that haunts her.
Something she’s never understood. Also…she’s borrowed a lot of money from me over the years, and she wants that clean slate.
I told her the money doesn’t matter, but—it led us to you, so I don’t mind. ”
“Fuck. That’s…I’m so sorry.”
“I know. Me too.”
Dex’s eyes welled suspiciously. “Do you ever think that things happen for a reason? I used to think it was very fucking unfair that my life changed so drastically after one stupid game, but now…I think it was supposed to change. It was fate. And maybe the people we’ve lost look after us.
Maybe your sister put this whole thing in motion somehow. ”
I cradled his cheek in one hand and kissed his forehead. “You believe in ghosts, eh?”
“I believe anything’s possible.”
His guileless expression made my heart skip a beat.
I hugged him to my chest, overcome with a rogue wave of affection for this lovely man.
I wasn’t sure I embraced the notion of fate or celestial interference, but no matter how brief it might be, I was very grateful to whatever force had brought us here… together.