Chapter 24
Sorrow
I wake up to kisses on my forehead and my nose before my mouth is captured in an all-consuming kiss. “Wake up, sleepy head. It’s time for pancakes and presents.”
“I can’t believe it’s Christmas already, and we have another week of break left before we return to school.”
“You gonna be ready?” Trace rolls off the bed and yanks on his sweatpants.
They hang off his hips, giving me a view of his superb V-cut.
He ditched the T-shirt in the middle of the night, saying it was too hot in the bedroom.
I suggested we turn down the heat. He said, “Nah, you keep me warm. Get over here, baby. Get me toasty warm with your body.”
And I did. I scooted back until my butt was nestled in his crotch. Grunting with satisfaction, Trace wrapped his arms around me, and we fell asleep.
“Did I have any nightmares?” Not shy around him anymore, I grab a new pair of underwear from my drawer and yank on a pair of pajamas. He comes up from behind me, rests his chin on the top of my head, and wraps his arms around my waist.
“I’m not sure. I was drained from shooting out so much cum.”
“Are you saying I wore you out?”
“I could’ve gone for round three or four.”
“You’re insatiable.”
“That’s a big word.”
“I’m sorry.”
He turns me to him with his hands on my shoulders. “What did I tell you about apologizing for how you speak?”
“Not to.”
He kisses my forehead. “I like your big words and will continue to point them out. Not to make you feel uncomfortable, but to let you know I like it when you do. Is that okay? Or would you rather I not?”
I don’t think about it too long. I already know the answer. “Keep doing it. It’s nice knowing you like that about me.”
“I like a lot of things about you.”
“Like what?” I’m fishing for compliments. My parents never said a positive thing about me to one another or to my face.
“You see the good in people. You treat others with kindness. You’re patient. You have enough inner strength to power a city. You make me happy.”
He says the last part in almost a whisper.
“You make me happy too.” I say the words loud and proud. “I’ve never been happier in my life than when I’m with you, Trace. These last few days have been a dream come true. Thank you.”
I pull him in for a kiss with my palm on the back of his head and miss his mouth when he turns from me.
His eyelashes brush over the arch of my cheek.
I close my eyes. Soft lashes flutter over my eyelids before his mouth presses on mine once, twice, three times.
I hum low in the back of my throat. “Butterfly kisses. Pecks. You’re missing something, buddy. ” I grasp his arm. My eyes are closed.
“I didn’t, beautiful.” He kisses my nose.
“Keep your eyes closed, sweet Sorrow.” I do.
He moves away from me, the cold air moving between us in a rush.
A drawer opens and closes. My hair is lifted off my shoulders.
Trace steps close enough I get a whiff of his male musk and .
. . Jesus, he smells like me. My face heats. He chuckles.
“Yes, my skin is coated with your pussy juices, and I fucking love it. Best way to wake up in the morning.”
He puts something cold around my neck. Something small caresses my skin below the notch in my neck. A muscular arm slides under my knees, and I’m lifted off the floor. Trace jostles me higher in his arms. I hang on to him with my arms around his neck as he walks us out of the bedroom.
“Are your eyes still closed?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a good girl.”
A door opens. We must be in the bathroom.
Trace didn’t walk us far. He must’ve turned on the lights, because a brightness shines through my eyelids.
Trace sets me on my feet. He holds me from behind with his chin on top of my head.
I can get used to the gentle way he handles and holds me, like I’m the most precious thing to him.
“Open your eyes, Sorrow.”
I open my eyes to my reflection in the bathroom mirror.
Hanging from my neck, on a silver chain, is a blue morpho butterfly pendant. “Trace.” I hold the pendant in my hand. “You remembered.” I tear up. My throat tightens.
“How could any guy forget when a girl tells him his eyes remind her of a blue morpho butterfly? Mind you, I did have to look up exactly what a blue morpho looks like. What do you think, beautiful?”
“I love it.” A tear slides down my face. Trace wipes it away. “I don’t know what to say. No one’s ever given me such a beautiful, thoughtful gift.”
“Say you’ll always think of me whenever you have this on, Sorrow.”
I grasp the pendant in my hand. It heats beneath my grasp. “I’ll never take it off. Never.”
“Aw, Sorrow.” He turns me to him and captures my mouth in the most softest kiss.
My heart soars with happiness. My heart breaks with sadness.
I want it all, the complete package, but I know it’s impossible.
I love Trace Saints. I’ll never admit that to him.
He’s for not committing to one person. I’m for one true love.
I’m young, but I know my heart, and my heart wants to say yes to only one guy.
A guy who’s been saying yes to multiple girls over the years.
My chest aches, and I want to fold into myself and cry until I can’t cry anymore. Until I’m numb and can pack my love for Trace inside the bag of tragedies I carry on my back, because to love Trace and not be loved back is a tragedy.
I kiss him back like it’s our last kiss. He must sense my sadness. He ends the kiss and puts me at arm’s length. “Everything all right, Sorrow?”
He’s concerned. There’s uncertainty on his face. How do I tell him that in our world of uncertainty, in the present and in the future, I am only certain about one thing—my love for him and only him?
Thank goodness I don’t have to answer him. Voices trail in from the front door.
“Trace, Sorrow, we’re home. Merry Christmas, you two!”
I smile through my tears. Thank goodness for good timing.
“My folks are here?”
“Yes.” I palm his face. “I told them what you did, you know, getting the tree, going out and shopping for presents, and putting up ornaments and lights. They wanted to surprise you.” I press my mouth to his. “Surprise, Trace. Merry Christmas.”