46. Landon
Chapter 46
Landon
Six months later
The heavy thud of my boots against the dull tile floor echoed down the long corridor. A buzzer sounded, and a metal door slid open. I handed the officer my ID, and he scrutinized it over the rim of his glasses as though it might be a forgery. Satisfied I wasn’t trying to impersonate someone else, he requested my cell phone and wallet. I relinquished them and followed the guard into the visiting room.
Lyle’s shoulders were slumped, and his hands were clasped in front of him, resting on the table. He stared down at them but lifted his gaze at the sound of my approach. His leg began to shake, and he swallowed thickly as I drew closer.
I lowered myself into the chair across from him, and he shifted in his seat. Silence stretched between us as I cataloged his features. He still had the same dirty blond hair and sparkling blue eyes, but he had changed so much in the past few months. He’d put some much needed weight on, and his face wasn’t gaunt or sallow. His eyes were no longer dull and lifeless. His hair and skin glowed with health and vitality. The most drastic change was the absence of his contempt. The hostility that once oozed from him like a bleeding wound was gone. His expression was open, and his eyes pleaded for grace and understanding.
“You look good,” I said, and he released a relieved breath. He nodded and dropped his gaze again.
“I’m starting to feel better,” he replied.
“That's good. I’m glad to hear it.”
He wrung his hands anxiously, and his leg continued to shake. My heart cracked in two. This was my baby brother. There was no need for him to feel this way around me.
“Lyle,” I said, and he glanced up at me. I reached for his hands and covered them with mine. He ceased all movements and settled his worried gaze on me. “I’m here because I love you. Whatever’s going through your head right now, you can tell me. There’s no need to be nervous.” He nodded again and took a moment to gather his thoughts.
“They, uh … they made me go to counseling,” he said, and I waited patiently for him to continue. I didn’t want to rush him or pressure him to say more than he was ready to. “And, um, I’m supposed to do all these steps, and one of them is making amends.” That leg began to bounce again. “I have a lot to make amends for.” He stared at the table unseeing. After another long pause, he continued.
“I should’ve never lied about Olivia,” he admitted, and my eyes widened in shock. I quickly schooled my expression, afraid my reaction would deter him from continuing. “I was just so angry. There I was, laid up in a hospital bed with a shattered leg and these doctors telling me I’d never play football again. My life was ruined. I had no future. I wanted out of that shit hole town so bad, and football was my only chance. And Olivia,” he ground out, his jaw tightening as anger bubbled to the surface, “she just left. She went on to pursue her dreams and didn’t look back. Just like our mom.” His voice cracked, and my chest tightened. His grief was palpable. He’d numbed his pain for so long, but now he had no way of hiding from it. His eyes welled with tears, and one slipped out, but he quickly swiped it away.
“According to my counselor, I have abandonment issues that stem from childhood. I barely remember Mom. I was so young when she left, but it fucked up my head anyway. When Olivia left…” he began then shook his head. “It triggered something inside me. I felt abandoned all over again, and I wanted her to pay. It didn’t matter that the crash was my fault. She’d left me, and I hated her for it.”
This was the most candid conversation I’d ever had with my brother. I hated that it took him going to prison for it to happen, but at least now, everything was out in the open.
“Do you still hate her?”
“No,” he replied without hesitation. “Now that I’m thinking clearly, I can see I never had a reason to hate her. She tried to protect me that night, but I was messed up. I blamed her for everything when in reality, she was the victim. I don’t blame her for leaving after what I did to her.” His Adam's apple bobbed with his heavy swallow, and his face twisted with regret.
“I want you to know I never meant to hurt her.” I drew back in surprise.
“So you weren’t trying to kill her?”
“No!” he barked, his eyes wide with shock. The guard standing watch eyed us warily. His hand went to the taser at his waist, and I held up a hand to signal everything was fine. “I loved her.” Lyle’s voice cracked, and pain flashed in his eyes. “I hadn’t meant for her to wreck. I just wanted her to turn around. In my mind, I thought I could make her do a U-turn when she slowed down at the bridge. I wasn’t thinking clearly.” He’d been high that night and drunk on top of that. His logic was flawed, but he’d been too far gone to see it. “It wasn’t until her car skidded off the road that I'd realized my mistake. By then, it was too late to stop it.” Lyle hung his head, and his shoulders heaved as he attempted to rein in his emotions.
“I owe her an apology, but I doubt I’ll ever get the chance. She probably hates me, and honestly, she has every right to. I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see me again.”
“She doesn’t hate you,” I said, and his gaze snapped to mine.
“Do-do you still talk to her? Can you tell her I’m sorry?” There was so much sincerity in his expression, it made my chest constrict. This was our make or break moment where I had to tell him that Olivia and I were back together. Before I could respond, he dropped his head into his hands and drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “Fuck, I ruined things for you too, didn’t I?” He ran his hands through his and gripped the back of his neck.
“No. You didn’t,” I replied, and he froze.
“I didn’t?”
I shook my head, and my stomach knotted. What would he do when I told him we were together, and I was in love with his ex? It was probably best to get it all out in the open now, so he would never feel like I hid anything from him.
“She put the bakery up for sale and went back to Atlanta after we broke up.” He winced but remained silent, so I continued. “I was a mess. I thought I’d lost her for good. But she came back. She decided not to sell the bakery after all and gave up everything in Atlanta.”
“She came back for you?” he guessed, and I nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. After we reconnected, she admitted that she’d left before her interview at an upscale hotel because she realized everything she wanted was back in Magnolia Grove, including me.
“Are you happy?”
“Yeah. I am,” I answered without hesitation. “I-I’m in love with her, Lyle.” He nodded rapidly, his face filling with anguish as he dropped his gaze. When he lifted his head again, his eyes were filled with tears.
“I’m not going to lie. This hurts. Olivia was supposed to be mine, and I fucked that up.”
“Are you still in love with her?” I held my breath as I awaited his response. I didn’t know what I would do if he said yes. He shook his head, and I let out a sigh of relief.
“No. She was my first love, and I’ll never forget all the good times we shared, but I’m not in love with her. I don’t even know her anymore.”
“That’s good,” I proclaimed nervously. “That’s real good. Because I do. I’m in love with her, Lyle. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I’d really like your blessing to do so.” I didn’t need his approval, but I sure as hell wanted it. I would make Olivia my wife one day no matter what, but I wanted my brother by my side when I did. He would be in here a couple more years, so I’d have to wait to make it official. That was okay. We had plenty of time.
His chin quivered, and he bit his lower lip to contain the onslaught of emotions. He ducked his head, and his shoulders rose and fell as he drew in a lungful of air and released it. When he looked at me again, his eyes shimmered, but a smile tugged at the edges of his mouth.
“You got it, brother.”
I stood and rounded the table, pulling him into my arms. The knot in my stomach that had been there since the night he'd overdosed unfurled, and the pressure in my chest eased. I held him close as his body shook. He drew in a ragged breath, and I released him, cupping the back of his neck.
“You’re going to get through this, and when you get out, you’ll have a fresh start. I’ll be here for you every step of the way.” He pulled back, and I dropped my hands to his arms. His gaze searched mine as his eyes filled with worry.
“What about Kara?” he asked, his concern palpable. “How am I going to support her when I get out? No one wants to hire a felon.”
Lyle’s girlfriend, Kara, had only been to see him once. After he overdosed in the house her parents were letting them stay in rent free, they’d done their best to keep him and Kara apart. She was forced to move back in with them since she couldn’t make it on her own with a child to take care of. Now that she was expecting again, her options were even more limited.
“I’ll make sure you have a place to stay,” I assured him, but that didn’t ease the tension twisting his features. Olivia and I had discussed this, and if all else failed, Lyle, Kara, and the kids could stay with us. Her house was plenty big enough. But I wasn’t about to mention that to my brother just yet. I didn’t want to rock the boat, and learning Olivia I were together was enough for one visit. “And there are plenty of companies who won’t hold your criminal record against you.” I’d been on the hunt for potential employers since the day he was sentenced. He would have options. Until then, I would be there to help him get back on his feet.
“Has she had the baby yet?” he asked, his voice wavering.
“Any day now.”
“D-do you have any pictures?”
I reached into my back pocket and looked to the guard standing watch, informing him of what I was doing so he didn’t tackle me. I’d been granted permission to bring these pictures into the room. Lyle watched me anxiously as I pulled out the photo of Kara and Jayden, the tiny toddler kissing his mother’s rounded belly. A watery smile spread across his face as he took in the scene.
“She looks beautiful,” he said, studying every aspect of the photo.
I unfolded the second picture and slid it across the table. Lyle choked back a sob and pressed his fist to his mouth. The sonogram showed the side profile of his unborn baby, and in the top corner, “It’s a girl!” was written in pink marker.
“That’s your daughter,” I said and clamped a hand on his shoulder. He fell into his seat, dropped his head in his hands, and wept. They were tears of joy and tears of sorrow. It was a new beginning. For the first time in his life, Lyle had something more to live for than just himself. As he spilled every last drop of emotion onto that black and white photo, a sense of peace washed over me. That was the moment I knew, everything would be okay.