Chapter 23 Jamie
JAMIE
Don’t be the sorry to hear that, that sucks guy.
Be the where are you, I’ll come get you, I’ve got you, you’re safe man.
There’s a difference, and you’ll thank me one day for making sure you know it.
—Advice from Aiden Murphy to Jamie and Finn
“Slow down, Ace.”
“Thanks,” Ryker laughs. “Love you, Ash, but you’re talking so fast, it’s hard to read your lips, and your signing kinda sucks.”
“Right. Sorry.” She silences her ringing phone, then shakes her hands like she’s shaking off nerves.
She’s been like this since she got back from the prison.
Oscillating between vibrating with anger, heartbreak, and relief, and I’ve got no fucking clue how to help with any of it.
“After all that, she took the deal. The plea deal. She’ll serve ten years with a chance of parole after eight, according to her attorney. ”
“And she took that deal?” I push, not buying that has piece of shit mother would make anything that easy.
“She did,” Ashton smiles easing my concern.
“So what does that mean for Kyrie?” Finn asks and hands her a glass of ginger ale and a sleeve of Saltines, and my woman smiles and pops half a cracker in her mouth, humming like it’s the best thing she’s ever tasted.
Guess I’m adding Saltines to the grocery list.
She locks those gold-flecked eyes on mine.
“She’s signing away her rights. Permanently.
She refuses to disclose who the father is, so I can hopefully adopt Kyrie uncontested.
I’m not actually sure if that’s what Mom wanted, but I honestly didn’t feel like I knew the woman sitting across from me today at all.
Not anymore. I always thought it was Evan’s death that broke us, but if anything she said was true, we were broken so much earlier than that.
” This incredible woman rolls her shoulders back and faces the three of us like she’s facing the firing squad.
“But I refuse to harp on that. It doesn’t do any of us any good, when I don’t even know if any of what she said was true, even if I’m not sure what she would have gained from lying about it. ”
“She wanted to hurt you, Ash,” Finn says gently, and my girl sips her ginger ale and looks away. “Your mom’s always been good at that. She wasn’t going to miss one last chance.”
“I think you’re right. And if that was her goal, she got what she wanted,” she agrees, her voice breaking as she signs.
“Do you think it’s true?” Ryker asks, like he’s not sure he wants to know the answer, and I don’t blame him. This is a man we know and respect. He’s our coach. A much better coach than he’s been a father. “Do you think Coach knows?”
“According to my mother, he knows. And Dad seemed distant before Evan died. But I don’t know . . . I don’t feel like I know him or her . . .” Her voice breaks, and if I could kill her mother with my bare fucking hands I would. Who does this to their daughter? Who hurts their kid this way?
How do you drop your kids after being their father for decades? How do you not talk to them about it? How do you just shut off the love you felt for them? Christ, Kyrie’s owned my heart since the day Ashton brought her into my house, and I don’t share a single fucking strand of DNA with her.
“But I’m honestly not sure what I believe at this point.
I don’t know what’s true and what was just her last-ditch effort to wreak as much havoc as she could while she still could.
The only thing I know for sure is she signed that deal.
I spoke with my attorney as soon as I left, and she said she’d get the process started today.
Thankfully, she’s had everything together, waiting for my go-ahead.
Start to finish, it could take up to a year, but Kyrie’s going to be mine. ”
“Ours,” I correct her and tug her into my arms, and Ashton lays her head against my chest and just breathes for a minute.
“So we get to keep Kyrie?” Ryker asks, and I swear to God I love my friends. My girl turns, and the smile that spreads across her face is spectacular.
“Yeah, we get to keep Kyrie.”
“Hey, beautiful.” I stop beside the blanket Ashton has laid out on the grass a few feet before it falls away to the lake.
She’s lying on her side, soaking in what’s left of the afternoon sun.
A little white dress showcases her baby bump, dark hair covering her shoulders, a bubble wand in hand, and her smile directed completely at our giggling girl.
Kyrie sits up all by herself now. A pink sun hat shading her face and a teething ring in her chubby hand, swatting at the falling bubbles.
“Hey, charmer.” Ashton shades her eyes as she looks up at me. “I thought your trainer was coming . . .”
“He is. Ryker and Mav are meeting him in the carriage house.” I look over the lake at the sailboat in the distance. “I just wasn’t in the mood today.” I sit behind her on the blanket and take the bubble wand as Ashton leans against me.
“You feeling okay? It’s not like you to skip training.”
“Never better, Ace.” And damn if that isn’t the truth. “How about you? How are you doing with . . . everything?”
“I’m okay . . .” she tells me with her face tilted up to the sun, and she actually looks like she’s found some peace.
I wave the wand and watch Kyrie’s eyes grow bigger with the sight of the purple bubbles.
So fucking in love with this moment. Everyone was surprised when I said I wanted to build this house.
They thought I’d buy some bigass penthouse condo in the city.
Something fancy and convenient to all the hot spots. All the action. All the people.
But these were the only people I needed.
This was the house.
Is the house.
The one I’m going to raise my family in.
Where we’re going to have barbecues and birthday parties. Christmases and summers spent in the lake or the pool.
This was the house I built for them before I knew there was a them to build it for.
“Jamie . . .”
“Sorry, Ace. I guess I got a little lost.” I brush my lips over hers as Kyrie tips over, reaching for a bubble. She tumbles face-first toward us, still laughing as Ashton catches her and brings her to her chest.
“Are you found now, Jamie?” Ashton whispers and looks at me over her shoulder, her soft smile begging me for the kind of honesty some people never know.
“I am. I think I’m finally home. You did that. You and Kyrie and our baby. I’m at peace. Are you?”
“I am.” She kisses Kyrie’s head, then leans hers back against my chest. “I’m home. Ask me to move into your room again, Jameson . . .”
I close my eyes and commit this moment to memory.
The feel of her in my arms. The sound of Kyrie’s laugh.
My hand on Ashton’s bump. My son growing inside her.
I want to remember this one day. I want to tell our kids about this moment, and I want to remember every second of it.
And once I’m sure . . . once I know I don’t want to wait another second, I open my eyes.
“Marry me, Ashton.”
“Jamie,” she whispers, her lips trembling. “That’s not asking me to move into your room.”
“It kind of is, Ace.” I caress her cheekbone with the back of my hand. “Marry me. Be my wife. Let us raise our kids together. Be my heart. Be my home. I’ve loved you all my life, Ashton. Do you love me?”
“I love you more than anything in the world, Jamie. But I’m scared.”
“Tell me what you’re scared of. Let me help you slay your dragons.”
Kyrie curls into Ashton’s chest, a lock of her dark hair between her dimpled fingers as her eyes close and her mouth stretches with a big yawn. Ashton focuses on the baby in her arms.
“Not all dragons need to be slayed, Jamie, and not all problems can be solved.” She doesn’t look away from Kyrie, finding a way to hide her eyes from me as her voice cracks.
“I don’t have the kind of family you have.
The friends you have. The big life you have.
What if I’m not enough? What if we’re not enough? What then?”
“Don’t you see? There is no what then because we’re already enough. We always have been.”
“But—”
“Evan was right,” I admit, wishing he was here so I could tell him.
“We weren’t ready back then. I was a kid.
We both were. We would have gotten together, but we probably would have hurt each other as we grew up and grew into the people we were supposed to be.
I’m not the same person I was then. I’m better.
I’m not a kid anymore, Ashton. I’m a man who knows what he wants out of life.
And it’s all right here in my arms. You, Kyrie, and the baby we’re going to have to start thinking of names for.
You’re everything I ever wanted, Ashton.
I’m not going to tell you not to be scared.
If that’s how you feel and that’s what you need, I can respect it.
But I’m here, and I will protect you, your heart, and my kids with the last breath that leaves my body, baby.
I will love you every single day of my life, and then I’ll find you in the next and love you again. Marry me.”
She turns her head to me, tears filling her eyes.
“Evan was right. If we had gotten together back then, I’d have never gone to Chicago.
I might never have danced my dreams. But my dreams have changed.
And I think my brother would love this.” She covers my hand resting on her stomach with her own.
“He would have loved us together now. And not just because he would have said I told you so. He would have loved it—loved us—because I do. Because I love you. And because you make me happy. He would have loved us getting married.”
“You can’t marry me for Evan, Ashton,” I warn her. “You—”
“I’m not marrying you for Evan, Jamie. I’m marrying you because you are the love of my life. The kind that only comes once in a lifetime. And when it does, you grab hold and don’t let go. Not even if it happens faster than they say is normal.”
“I don’t know who they are, Ace, but they can fuck right off. They don’t know us. They don’t know our history. And they don’t know how much I love you. Are you saying you’ll marry me?”
She nods and shifts herself and Kyrie, wrapping an arm around my neck and pressing her lips to mine. “Yes, Jamie. I’ll marry you.”
Murphy Family Text Thread
Aiden
Did I just really find out you two are engaged from Ryker’s dad?
Sabrina
Congratulations! I’m so excited for you two. We need to celebrate.
Jamie
Ryker has a big mouth.
Ashton
I’m so sorry.
Finn
Ignore Dad. He’s a drama queen.
Sabrina
Oh, honey, it’s drama king. Get it right.
Aiden
Princess . . .
Sabrina
You can’t possibly tell me I’m wrong, Aiden.
Aiden
. . .
Sabrina
So are we planning a wedding before or after the baby is born?
Ashton
I haven’t really thought about it yet.
Aiden
He could be the ring bearer.
Jamie
I thought that could be Finn’s job.
Finn
WTF? I thought I was the best man.
Sabrina
Well it certainly sounds like it’s not Ryker after today.
Ashton
You can’t be the best man.
Finn
Why the hell not?
Ashton
Because you have to be my man of honor.
Finn
Take that, Jamie. I’m the man of honor.
Jamie
Sounds like a made-up title.
Sabrina
It sounds perfect.
Aiden
Welcome to the family, Ashton. You’ve always been part of it, but now it’ll be legal.
Finn
Now you’ll officially be a Murphy.
Sabrina
God help us all. The world cannot take another Murphy.
Aiden
Watch it, princess. Our name looks great on the back of a jersey.
Jamie
Yeah, it does. And I’ve already ordered one for Kyrie to wear to the games.
Ashton
What about me?
Jamie
You’ll be in mine, Ace.
Ashton
Pretty sure yours won’t fit me by August, charmer.
Sabrina
Jameson Murphy, if you take this text thread in any kind of x-rated direction, I will make sure you regret that move for the rest of your life.
Finn
Okay, I’ve got to ask . . . How exactly do you plan on doing that?
Sabrina
Let’s just say you won’t enjoy it, but your father would.
Finn
I’m out.
Ashton
OMG
Jamie
Ohh . . . no. Mom.
Sabrina
Let’s just say I’ve seen the books you read, and I read worse.