10. Zane
10
ZANE
Z ane strode out to the gravel driveway in front of his parents’ house the next afternoon as the bus pulled up.
He’d given himself a monster list of things to do today to distract him from all the emotion of yesterday. But he had still finished up early and had more than enough time to shower and pace the floors before it was time for the boys to get off the bus.
They leapt off and flashed past him in a blur, clearly eager to get into the farmhouse with their cousins.
Zane had been the same way as a boy, his dad made the best after-school snacks in the world. It was honestly a great strategy to get the kids talking right after school, when they still remembered what happened during their day.
He watched them scramble in the front door, but didn’t follow. Instead, he stood on his own for a quiet moment, his eyes on the blue mountains behind the house. Though it was cold, coming out here made him feel anchored.
As far as he knew, Miss Hawthorne was still planning to stop by for her visit after school. She hadn’t canceled, but after the way he’d spoken to her yesterday, he wouldn’t exactly be surprised if she didn’t bother.
Either way, he figured it would be better for him to go back inside. If what Allie said about teaching was right, it would probably be at least another hour before Miss Hawthorne could think about showing up. So, after a few more minutes, he took another deep breath of the crisp air and headed for the house. But he was surprised when the crunch of car tires and the rumble of an engine cut through the quiet a moment later.
He turned and watched as a little blue hatchback, piloted by the woman he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about, pulled in and parked in front of the house. The car definitely wasn’t four-wheel drive, and the tires looked practically bald.
I’ve got to get her into a safer vehicle before it starts to really snow, he thought to himself before remembering that her car was none of his business. A moment later, she was getting out and stretching, her eyes on the mountains he’d been looking at just a few seconds ago. He didn’t blame her. He’d seen it a thousand times and he still got caught up by how gorgeous the view was.
“Hi,” he said, feeling stupid.
“Hello,” she said, heading over to him. “I wasn’t sure if you still wanted me to come. But I said I’d be here, so…”
Her eyes weren’t quite meeting his, and he could feel her apprehension as if it were his own. Guilt wrapped a fist around his lungs, and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to speak at all.
“I’m sorry,” he managed. “About yesterday. It’s me that was out of line. You were only trying to help.”
Her brows lifted slightly as her gaze finally met his. And Zane knew in that instant that he could look out over those mountains a thousand more times, and the sky would never be as blue as her eyes were right now.
“I know that I overstepped by going to the principal instead of talking with you first,” she told him. “I’m so sorry for that.”
“Well, I didn’t mean to make you think you weren’t welcome here,” he went on, wondering if he’d ever talked this much before in his whole life. His mouth was so dry. Was this how Tripp always felt? “The boys are really excited to see you and show you around.”
“I’m excited too,” she confessed, smiling up at him. “I’ve never seen a cow up close before, but they look so cute.”
“They are pretty cute,” he said, smiling in surprise.
For most people who hadn’t been to a dairy farm before, the smell was the first thing they noticed. Zane had grown up around it, so his nose got used to it pretty quickly every time he came home. He figured she was only being polite by not mentioning it.
The thought flitted through his mind that he was glad he’d showered and changed so at least he didn’t smell like a dairy farm.
But that was nonsense. She hadn’t come here to smell him.
“Want to come in and meet—” he began.
“ Miss Hawthorne,” the boys cried, pouring out the door.
“Hi there, Nick. Hello, Cal,” she said, sounding just as happy to see them. “Thanks so much for letting me come visit.”
“Do you want to see a baby calf drink from a bottle?” Nick demanded as soon as they were down the steps.
“I think I would love that,” she said. “I didn’t know you fed the calves bottles.”
“Only if their mama doesn’t want them,” Cal said softly.
Zane couldn’t help but think back to when he was bottle feeding his own tiny boys in the darkness, and his chest ached at the idea.
“They’re called bottle babies ,” Nick announced, seemingly oblivious to the comparison. “And they grow up to be the friendliest cows. You’ll see.”
“Maybe you can feed one, Miss Hawthorne,” Cal offered quietly.
“Wow,” she said. “I wouldn’t know where to begin. But let’s go see them. If it’s okay with your dad.”
“That’s just fine,” he said. “The barn is a great place to start.”
The boys took off, and he and Miss Hawthorne followed behind. He glanced down at her again and was happy to see that she was wearing real boots under her wool coat today.
“Thank you again for letting me visit,” she told him with a warm smile. “I have to admit I have a bit of an ulterior motive with this project. I know the kids will enjoy it and learn a lot, but I honestly wanted to learn more about Sugarville Grove myself.”
“There’s not much to know,” Zane said automatically.
“That’s what everyone says,” she told him, shaking her head. “But actually, there’s a lot going on here. Maybe we can all learn something interesting from this project.”
“They’re in here, Miss Hawthorne,” Nick yelled, waving to her from the barn door.
Cal stood beside his brother, grinning at his teacher.
“Okay, let’s go in calmly,” Zane told the boys. “We don’t want to disturb the calves.”
The barn was dim and hardly warmer than outside, but Zane loved the cozy feeling and the sweet smell.
“It smells good in here,” Miss Hawthorne said, as if echoing his own thought.
“That’s the hay,” he told her.
She nodded and followed the boys farther into the barn, past the larger open area and then into the stalls.
As he got closer, he could hear his mother talking softly to the animals. Their timing was perfect.
“Hello, boys,” his mom called out. “And is that your teacher? Hello, Miss Hawthorne.”
“Oh, it’s just Becca,” she called back with a smile. “That goes for you too, Mr. Lawrence.”
“It’s Zane,” he told her.
That earned him a smile that warmed him up like a bowl of soup on a snowy day and he trailed after her, wondering what was getting into him.
“So, he’s really taking a bottle?” Becca asked, sounding awed as she leaned over the half door of the stall along with the boys.
“This is a little girl,” Mom said. “And yes, she’s taking a bottle. Sometimes the mamas just aren’t interested in nursing. That’s where we come in, right boys?”
“Can Miss Hawthorne do it?” Nick asked.
“Oh, that’s okay,” Becca said right away. “We wouldn’t want to stop her in the middle of her meal.”
“Not to pressure you,” Mom said. “But if you wanted to try, we have another calf who needs her bottle now.”
“Really?” Becca asked, her face lighting up like she’d won a prize.
“We sure do,” Mom said. “Once Rita is finished, we’ll head over to see Sally.”
“They have such nice names,” Becca said, sounding a little surprised.
“We name our milking cows after important ladies,” Nick said.
“We sure do,” Mom agreed. “This little one is Rita Moreno, and you’ll be feeding Sally Ride.”
Becca laughed in delight, and the sound was so cheery that the boys joined her, and even Zane felt his mouth turning up at the corners.
“All done, Rita,” Mom said, patting the pretty little calf’s cheek as she pulled the empty bottle away. “You did a wonderful job.”
The calf nudged at Mom’s hip, like maybe she had another bottle in her apron, but Mom just laughed and gave her a nice patting before slipping out of the stall to go see the other calf.
Zane heard boots crunching outside and headed back toward the front of the barn. As he expected, Tripp came jogging in a moment later.
“Hey, brother,” Tripp said, stopping short, with mischief in his eyes. “Is she here?”
“You’re as bad as the boys,” Zane told him, shaking his head.
“Is there something wrong with taking an honest interest in my nephew’s new teacher?” Tripp asked.
“Let her be,” Zane heard himself growl.
Tripp stepped back and nodded, his eyes still dancing with merriment.
“If that’s how you feel, you should be extra nice to her,” Tripp said after a moment.
“I am being nice,” Zane said firmly.
“And how you’re being right now isn’t an example of that, right?” Tripp teased.
“Don’t be an idiot,” Zane told his brother, wishing the man could stop joking around for once in his life.
“Listen, I’m just yanking your chain,” Tripp said. “But I do want to meet her. She’s all the boys were talking about during after-school snacks today.”
“Fine,” Zane said.
He wasn’t interested in starting up anything with Becca Hawthorne. So he wasn’t sure why his stomach was twisting in knots at the idea of his confident, good-looking brother introducing himself.
By the time they got back to the kids, Becca was already in the stall with little Sally, a brown Jersey calf, who was bolting down the bottle in Becca’s hands.
“Is it okay for her to drink this fast?” Becca asked worriedly.
There was hay clinging to her coat and hair, but her eyes were full of wonder, and even in the dim light of the barn Zane could see there was color in her cheeks.
Beautiful , he thought to himself again before he could shut down the thought.
“That normally takes her less than a minute,” Mom reassured her. “It’s okay that she’s wolfing it down.”
“Good job,” Becca crooned to the calf. “You’re doing it just right.”
Zane smiled at her sweet tone.
“Wow,” Nick said, bouncing up and down in place. “You’re feeding a baby cow, Miss Hawthorne. Isn’t that cool?”
Cal had leaned over to watch her between the bars of the door.
“She’s got a knack for it, this one,” Mom said, winking at Zane. “Got it on her first try.”
“She listened carefully to your instructions, Grandma,” Cal said, straightening up. “It’s very important to listen to all the instructions before you try something new.”
“That’s why you’re such a good student, Cal,” Becca said, her eyes still on the calf.
“You taught us that, Miss Hawthorne,” Cal replied.
She glanced up from the calf and met the boy’s eyes and then the two of them melted into matching smiles.
Zane thought his heart might stop beating at the sight.
Why? Plenty of women are nice to the boys.
But it wasn’t just her. It was Cal. He never felt comfortable with new people right away like this.
“Oh, I think she’s finished,” Becca said as the little calf abandoned the empty bottle and started to nuzzle at her belly and hips.
“I’m so sorry, my love,” Becca told her, giving her a scratch behind the ears. “I only had one bottle. But I’m sure you’ll get to have more later.”
“She sure will,” Mom said. “And now that they’ve both eaten, she gets to go be with Rita again.”
“We don’t want them to try to steal each other’s bottle,” Nick explained, turning to Zane and noticing that his uncle was there now too. “Uncle Tripp, this is Cal’s teacher.”
“Hi there,” Tripp said. “I didn’t want to interrupt while you were doing chores.”
Becca laughed, and Zane wished he had his brother’s easy way with people.
“I have a feeling that’s everyone’s favorite chore,” she replied. “I’m Becca. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too,” Tripp said. “Say, has Zane shown you the creamery yet? He’s got some amazing stuff going on in there.”
“Oh, wow,” Becca said, turning to Zane. “I’d love to see it, if you don’t mind showing it to me.”
“Sure,” he said, suddenly feeling grateful to his brother.
“If she wants to see the afternoon milking after that, you guys can stop by,” Tripp reminded Zane.
“And she’ll want supper, of course,” Mom said warmly, patting Becca’s shoulder on her way past.
“I’m going to get the cows,” Tripp told them. “Have fun in the creamery.”
“Can we come too, Dad?” Nick asked.
“Sure,” Zane told the boys. “You can both come, but remember the rule.”
“ Don’t. Touch. Anything,” the boys cried out in a perfect imitation of Zane.
“Exactly,” he told them, not minding the grumpy impression, so long as it kept them safe. “There are some dangerous, and expensive, machines in there, and all kinds of things that aren’t for kids.”
The boys took off toward the creamery, laughing and shoving each other lightly.
“Wow,” Becca said, sounding impressed.
“That’s true of the whole farm,” Zane told her. “But they’re used to getting speeches about a lot of the day-to-day equipment. They’re not in the creamery every day.”
“It’s a really special place to grow up, isn’t it?” she asked, looking around.
He couldn’t help noticing how her eyes seemed to get stuck on the mountains again, just like his always did.
“It is,” he agreed, surprised that she could sense that already. “There’s a nice rhythm to life here. It’s not all brand new every day. But… I don’t know, it’s not all the same every day either.”
“It’s alive,” she said, nodding. “Teaching is the same way. I mean, I don’t have as much experience as you do.”
He smiled to himself. She was so young. It was hard to believe that she could have experience at anything.
“But you taught before this,” he said, assuming it was true.
“I was a building substitute,” she told him, her smile gone and her posture uncertain, like before. “You’re going to hate me even more, knowing that.”
“I don’t hate you,” he said right away. “And actually, it makes more sense now.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, glancing up at him.
“Just that you’re used to getting to know your students very quickly,” he said, shrugging. “Since you don’t get to see them every day for a year.”
She didn’t respond, and when he glanced down he could see she was wearing a strange expression.
“Mr. Lawrence—Zane,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s very perceptive.”
He shrugged. She probably just meant for a farmer.
“I never really thought about it that way,” she mused out loud. “But I think you’re right. I did have to work quickly if I wanted to know how to reach my students. Maybe it was good practice in that way.”
“Well, it’s obvious that you’re a great teacher,” Zane told her. “You care about the kids, enough to visit their families after school.”
He didn’t quite have the time to tell her what it meant to him that she had gone to bat for the boys already, even if she had gotten it wrong. They had already reached the creamery and the boys were at the door, quivering with excitement.
“Did one of you make that?” Becca asked, pointing to the wooden sign above the door.
“Our dad made that,” Nick yelled.
“In wood shop class,” Cal added. “When he was a kid.”
“That’s amazing,” she said. “And as a teacher, it makes me happy to think that something your father made when he was a student is still in use here every day.”
“You like being a teacher,” Cal said, looking up at her thoughtfully.
“I love being a teacher,” she said, looking happy enough she might float away. “I’m so lucky.”
“Here we go,” Zane said, using the key on his belt loop to unlock the door to the creamery.
Not much got locked up on the farm, but the equipment in here was valuable, and more importantly, hard to get hands on. And if they couldn’t make the ice cream, there was no point to everything else every other member of the family did here all day.
The boys darted into the dim space, and Zane gestured for Becca to follow.
“Look, Miss Hawthorne,” Nick said, pointing to one of the large, stainless-steel vats. “That’s chocolate.”
“And that’s vanilla,” Cal told her, pointing to another.
Zane smiled at how enthusiastic they were. Maybe one day they would be working here with him.
“Look at all that ice cream,” Becca said dreamily. “It makes my mouth water.”
Zane couldn’t help smiling again at her adorable reaction.
“Look! There’s a new flavor ,” Nick yelled, looking at the handwritten sign by the cylinder on the far wall. “It’s ummmm… it’s… it’s…”
His voice trailed off and Zane felt his heart squeeze in sympathy. Nick just wasn’t as strong a student as Cal. It hurt to see him struggle like this. Nick’s expression had gone from wonder to shame and frustration in less than a heartbeat.
Zane was about to call out the name of the flavor for him when Becca grabbed his wrist. He looked down to see what was wrong and she silently tilted her chin toward the boys.
They both watched as Cal grabbed his brother by the hand and dragged him toward the sign.
“Come on, Nick,” Cal said excitedly. “Let’s go sound it out.”
Zane was pretty sure that Cal could read the words moose tracks without sounding them out. But he wasn’t about to show up his brother. Nick brightened up immediately and moved along with Cal toward the sign.
“ Moose tracks, ” Nick yelled out happily when they hadn’t quite reached it.
“Moose tracks,” Cal echoed, a big smile on his face.
Something unlocked in Zane’s heart, and he felt gratitude wash over him as he looked down at Becca in wonder.
Her gaze was already fixed on his face, and she bit her lip, looking every bit as hopeful as his boys when they wanted permission to stay up late or go into town with their cousins.
She wants this for them, this is what she wanted…
“You were right,” he heard himself murmur to her as the walls of resistance he’d put up came crumbling down. “You were exactly right.”