8. Noah
8
NOAH
“ T his is fucking ridiculous.” I tapped my fingers against my knee, staring out the limousine window. The city went by in a blur, the streets shining, thanks to rain that had fallen steadily throughout the day.
Putting it mildly, the rain matched my mood. I had spent the day dreading this, knowing I’d have to play nice in front of a bunch of fucking hypocrites. All because the woman sitting on the other side of the back seat told me to put on a tux and be on my best behavior.
“That’s right,” Sienna muttered, not looking up from the scrolling she was doing on her phone. The gleaming gold case shone in the lights from the traffic around us, one I had never seen. “Get it all out of your system now. I don’t want you bitching and moaning during the event.”
“Your Wicked Witch impression is getting a little old.” However, she was a hell of a lot hotter than a green-faced witch.
Get it together, fuckface. This isn’t the time.
“So is your whining,” she fired back matter-of-factly. “ And I’d like to remind you, if somebody hated you enough to tear you down, this is all your doing.”
My hands flexed, and I realized I was imagining how satisfying it would be to strangle her. I wasn’t a violent man. I was a lot of things, but not that. She was determined to make me reconsider.
“We don’t have to stay more than an hour or two,” she continued in a flat voice. I couldn’t understand how she managed to hold a conversation while typing. I had noticed it at her office, and again, I watched her as she spoke. “Make nice, be very grateful to be there, and everything will be fine.”
She made it sound easy, but then she could. “So long as I don’t have to do any bowing and scraping like some peasant.”
“Yeah. God forbid you humble yourself for even five minutes.”
“Something’s up your ass tonight,” I observed. It was much more enjoyable to screw with her than look forward to a night of pretending there was no elephant in the room.
By now, a week after my private life had been upended for the pleasure of gossip hounds across the country, everyone would have read that bullshit excuse for journalism. Yet I knew this world well enough to know I would never be openly scorned by the blue-blood, silver-spoon crowd I was about to face. They would smile at me, give me a few air kisses, and pose for photos like they weren’t silently scorning me with every breath. It was all a charade, from top to bottom, and it made me sick.
When Sienna didn’t respond, I doubled down. She was the living, breathing symbol of everything I hated about this entire phony setup and the only person in the vicinity for me to take my frustration out on. “If you’re going to babysit me, you could at least be decent company,” I told her, and in the glow from her screen, I watched her jaw tighten. The sight satisfied me, putting me back on solid ground.
“And if you weren’t a baby, you wouldn’t need a babysitter.” She lowered the phone, narrowing her eyes dangerously from her corner of the seat. She crossed her legs, hidden beneath a long, dark blue silk dress, and began swinging her foot in a way that told me I was in trouble. “I happen to be friends with a few board members, or else I wouldn’t have been able to score a last-minute invite for you. It’s only right for me to show my face.”
“You have a lot of friends, don’t you?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing. It is possible to have a wide circle of friends, you know. Not all of us stick solely to the people we grew up with.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I countered, mimicking her tone. “Last time I checked, you’re pretty damn close to the same people we’ve both known our entire lives.”
She blew out a sigh before shaking her head, making her low ponytail shine. “I’m not trying to defend myself to you. You need to be thinking about how much ass you’re going to kiss tonight.”
She had a way of putting a man in his place. I could give her credit for that much. The only thing that stopped me from hurling an insult was knowing it would only prove her right that I was dreading walking into the lion’s den. I would’ve rather bitten off my tongue than admit it, but the nerves were there—a churning in my gut that left me chugging Pepto to calm things before leaving my penthouse. It didn’t matter that those ugly accusations were nothing but lies. What mattered was people would believe them, and the empire I’d built could disappear.
At least Sienna had chosen an event that made sense. A charity focused on securing housing for low-income families. My real estate career made for a natural tie-in with the foundation’s purpose.
We approached the St. Regis Hotel, the site of the gala, and the driver pulled in behind a string of cars unloading their passengers. A cluster of uniformed men held umbrellas at the ready, ushering guests across the sidewalk to keep them dry before they reached the long awning bearing the hotel’s name. “Remember,” Sienna warned while we pulled up to the front of the line. “Play nice.”
It wasn’t easy to hold my temper when she insisted on her fucking condescension. “I’m surprised you haven’t checked my underwear to make sure I put on a clean pair.”
She rolled her eyes, snickering as one of the attendants opened her door. “By the way, you’re making a very sizable donation to the foundation.”
“Excuse me?” She was already making her graceful exit from the limo, waving to a woman nearby while ducking under the proffered umbrella. I wasted no time getting out of the car, barely acknowledging the guy holding an umbrella for me. “What do you mean, donation?” I demanded of Sienna, trailing a few steps behind her on our way into the hotel.
She released a breathless giggle, running a hand over her slicked-back hair before checking her floor-length dress for damage. I might have taken the opportunity to appreciate how the dress flowed over her tight body if it had belonged to any woman but her.
She was not the woman to ogle unless I craved a kick in the balls. Why couldn’t she be ugly, so at least one aspect of this shitfest could be slightly more bearable?
“Would you please calm down?” she asked, her teeth gritted in a parody of a smile. “What, did you think you were going to get out of this without spending a little cash?”
“I’m already spending a lot of cash,” I reminded her in a voice low enough that only she could hear. Countless bodies moved past us in the lobby, but I kept my back to them, ignoring their lighthearted chatter and empty greetings.
“This is not the time to be stingy,” she whispered. Her thick lashes fluttered as she stared up at me. “I didn’t know you were afraid to drop a few bucks. And here I was, thinking you had all the money you needed at your fingertips.”
“I do,” I reminded her, grinning at how she rolled her eyes. “I could buy your entire business at a roll of the dice.”
“Says you,” she muttered.
I ignored it. “I’d like to be consulted before money is spent in my name. Is that too much to ask?”
Those obviously fake lashes fluttered again. Did women think they were fooling anybody? “Forgive me. From now on, you’ll be the first to know when I pledge a quarter of a million in your name.”
“A quarter—” I forced myself to suck in a breath before my temper exploded. No, I was in no way hurting for the money, but for fuck’s sake. I didn’t know many people who would take a quarter of a million in their stride when it wasn’t their idea to donate the money in the first place.
“This is on me,” she murmured. The girl must have missed the memo about her being a terrible actress. Her weak attempt at sorrow left me wishing I’d brought Pepto along. “I’ll run that sort of thing by you next time. I promise.”
“You could try not looking quite so proud of yourself when you apologize. ”
Light danced in her blue eyes before she nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I was being hustled, plain and simple, something I had to live with as we walked side-by-side across the lobby, following the flow of traffic into the ballroom.
I didn’t have time to stop before bumping against the arm, which Sienna threw out to the side to halt my progress. “Photographers. Give them your prettiest smile, now,” she murmured while I did exactly that. Evidently, it wasn’t enough because she added, “Try to make it look like you’re not on your way to the guillotine. Try to think of something that makes you smile for real.”
Of all times for my pink-haired mystery woman to come to mind. Fuck, she was good, so good I had jerked off to the memory more than once in the days since our encounter. It had been so gratifying, knowing she was nervous and apprehensive, but breaking down her walls just the same. It was the sort of rush nothing else could deliver. There wasn’t a deal in existence that had ever or could ever bring me that level of satisfaction.
“I would ask what you were thinking about just then…” Sienna whispered once the photographer moved on. “But I’m afraid of what I would hear.”
“It’s nothing for your innocent ears,” I confirmed, but I couldn’t pretend not to notice her scowl as we stepped into the busy ballroom. “Smile, or people might think you don’t love your job.”
Because if she acted like a raging bitch with a stick wedged up her ass, I could make her regret it.
“Is that Noah Goldsmith?” I turned to the sound of my name being called and groaned softly when I recognized Mabel Curtis, who was roughly a hundred years old and wore enough cloying perfume that my head spun. “I thought that was you! You look so much like your father, Ari, it’s difficult to tell you apart.”
She was a longtime, faithful Farrah Goldsmith client, and as such, I had a responsibility to be friendly even as my nostrils burned. Why did old women always have to wear the same perfume? And why did they bathe in it?
She shook her head and clicked her tongue before continuing her monologue. “I was so sorry to hear about all this mess in the press. Trust me, nobody believes it.”
I had heard some lies in my life, but this had to take the cake. “I appreciate your support,” I managed to murmur through clenched teeth. “Forgive my manners. Do you know Sienna Black?”
Thank fuck. She turned to Sienna, smiling wide enough to show off the lipstick on her teeth. “Of course! Sienna’s mother decorated my Sag Harbor house.”
I left the two of them to chat pleasantly for a few moments, scanning the ballroom over the top of their heads. What a surprise, the number of people whose gaze darted away from mine as soon as I looked their way. Hypocrites, every last one of them.
Once Sienna was free, I leaned down to mutter in her ear. “How many of the men in this room have paid off a nanny after fucking her during naptime?”
“That’s none of our business,” she reminded me in a light, almost playful tone, looking around before wiggling her fingers in a wave to a passing couple. “And that’s not what we’re here for.”
“Fucking hypocrites need to look in a mirror,” I muttered. My tie was too tight, cutting off my air, and I hooked a finger beneath my collar in a vain attempt at finding a little comfort.
“Would you stop fidgeting?” she snapped in a whisper, handing me a glass of champagne as we wound through the clusters of people dotting the spacious room. “You are the generous benefactor tonight, remember? We don’t need any photos of you scowling like a toddler who missed naptime. Now, let’s check out the silent auction.” Tucking her hand inside my elbow, she tugged gently in the direction of an elaborate display set up on the far side of the room.
“What, I haven’t given them enough money tonight?” It still stuck in my craw, the fact that she hadn’t thought to check in with me before making a pledge like that. Was it not bad enough I was watching my life slip away, losing a little more control all the time?
“Look who it is.” Before we could reach the auction tables, a familiar and unwelcome presence made itself known in the form of Drake Thomas, who sauntered our way, holding a glass of champagne and wearing a shit-eating grin that could only mean one thing. He was looking to start something. “I hate to tell you, but I already took a look at what was up for auction. There are no Get Out of Jail Free cards available. But then, you’re not in jail, are you? Not literally.”
“Sorry,” I countered, accepting his handshake even as my skin crawled at having to make contact with the snake who’d gone out of his way to undermine me for years. Jealous that I’d built a business twice as large in half the time it took him to build Thomas Properties. I was younger and smarter, and it killed him. “Maybe I’m not too quick on the uptake this evening. Was that supposed to be a joke?”
He nodded slowly. “Understandable. With everything you’re going through right now, you must be beside yourself. Your thoughts have to be racing in a million different directions. Truly, I was sorry to read all those ugly allegations last week. It must have come as a real shock. ”
For all I knew, this bastard had been the one to set the match to the fuse and blow the whole thing up. “Oh, you know how it is,” I replied with an easy shrug. “There are so many jealous, petty people out there, willing to say and do anything to undermine the competition when they know they don’t have a prayer of beating them honestly.”
“How are you?” Sienna asked in an overly bright voice, sliding her body between his and mine. “It’s nice to see you here. What do you think? Is it worth me putting a bid down on anything over there?” She jerked her chin in the direction of the table, where countless guests laughed and joked about who would come out on top when it came time to announce the winning bids. Because to them, this was all fun. A game. Their futures weren’t in jeopardy, no matter how much worse their sins were than mine.
Fuck, how I hated them for it.
But not as much as I hated how Drake looked Sienna up and down. The prick barely managed not to lick his thin lips. “Tell me you’re not here with Noah Goldsmith,” he said with a groan before chuckling like we were all friends. “I could show you a much better time.”
If he thought that would get under my skin, he was wasting his time. That didn’t stop me from placing a hand on her waist and stepping up a little closer. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you’re trying to poach my date. There I was, thinking you only poached other people’s clients.”
“I don’t need to do any poaching,” he muttered while his gaze went steely. “There’s plenty of them lying around, just waiting to be snapped up. As it turns out, people don’t like doing business with shady characters. They would much rather go with somebody they know they can trust.”
“And as long as you can fool them into trusting you, you may as well take advantage,” I agreed .
“It was very nice to see you.” Sienna closed her hand over mine, squeezing hard enough to grind my bones before she pulled me along with her, away from him. We weren’t able to move ten feet before being stopped again.
“Oh, Noah!” I vaguely recognized the old man who placed himself in our path. “The man of the hour! We would love it if you would say a few words.” Right. Chairman of the foundation and a general pain in the ass who loved to hear himself speak. I couldn’t remember his name, but who gave a shit when I was a deer caught in headlights?
“A few words.” My brain threatened to shut down thanks to overwhelm. I felt Drake’s eyes bore holes into the back of my head while the old man smiled expectantly at me.
Sienna laughed lightly. “What an honor,” she announced. “But come on now, Benjamin. You know better than to put somebody on the spot like this. You’re such a rascal.”
The worst part was he fucking loved it. The man ate it up with a spoon. It’s probably the only time a beautiful woman had ever teased him.
“All right, but the opportunity is there,” he insisted, barely able to pry his eyes from her long enough to glance at me. “I’m sure everyone here is sick to death of hearing me speak.”
It was all too much. There was a reason I didn’t bother with shit like this. Let me hold court in a busy club, surrounded by fawning women? I was in my element. I could talk for hours, for days. Ask me to get up in front of several hundred people who hadn’t stopped watching my every move since I walked through the door. An entirely different story.
“I’m over this,” I murmured in Sienna’s ear once Benjamin was pulled away by an old crone, probably his wife. The blistering look she gave Sienna confirmed that as if Sienna gave a damn about her husband.
She turned to me, scowling. “Are you serious? We haven’t been here thirty minutes. They haven’t even served dinner, and you want to run away?”
I didn’t know whether she said it to goad me. I only knew it was for the best that I got the hell out of that room before I blew up and took hundreds of people with me. On my way out, I somehow managed not to plow through the crowd and send people flying like bowling pins. Bolting down what was left of my champagne, I handed the empty flute to a server before retreating to the lobby.
“Where are you going?” Sienna’s heels tapped against the floor behind me, her voice like a snake’s hiss. That was what she was. A fucking snake, like Drake Thomas and half the people in that ballroom. Soothing their guilty consciences, at least I didn’t pretend to give a shit about the underprivileged while comparing the square footage of their vacation homes.
“Where do you think I’m going? Anywhere but here.” She let out a strangled, panicked sound, but she didn’t need to bother. There was nobody around to hear, most of the guests having retreated inside to drink, sip subpar champagne, and pat themselves on the back for being such wonderful, caring citizens.
The rain had turned to a light mist that swirled through the air by the time I made it outside beneath the protection of the awning. The air was cool and crisp and went a long way toward easing the burning sensation in my chest. I wasn’t exactly calm when Sienna grabbed my arm, but I could breathe more freely. There was no longer the sense of an overturned hive of bees buzzing around inside my skull .
“Excuse me, but I had to kiss a lot of ass to get a last-minute invite tonight,” she grunted out, her face flushed, teeth bared. “And you haven’t spent nearly enough time showing your face.”
“Haven’t you heard? I’m the man of the hour. I’m dumping a shit ton of money into the foundation.”
“That’s not enough. Why don’t you get that?” she demanded. “I thought you wanted to turn all this around and salvage your reputation. The first challenge you come up against, you fold.”
“You know what? I’m beginning to regret ever calling you.” She stared at me, incredulous. “I mean it. Let’s stop pretending this is about doing your job and call it what it really is.”
Her head snapped back like she was honestly surprised, which I could not believe. “Illuminate me. What is this really about, Noah?”
“It’s about you having me where you want me… under your thumb. Don’t pretend you’re not getting off on this,” I insisted when she scoffed. “I see straight through you. You love watching me squirm.”
“You really, and I mean this, need to get over yourself.” But I wasn’t fooled. I saw the way she blushed. I heard the tremor in her voice.
“You can manage this with no help from me,” I decided. “Hand over my hard-earned money to whoever the hell you think would look best in the press. But I’ll be damned if I let you parade me around like a fucking dog on a leash.”
I was halfway to the curb when her voice rang out behind me. “I hope you and your ego are happy together because that’s all you’re going to have to your name.”
I tuned her out, hailing a cab at random. I couldn’t remember the last time I got into a cab, but it mattered more to be away from those judgmental fucks as quickly as I could. I wasn’t running away, no matter what Sienna thought. This was self-preservation.
Yet somehow, though I knew damn well it was smart to take myself out of the equation before I made a bad situation infinitely worse, it wasn’t enough to believe I was making the right choice. I wanted her to believe it too.
There was nothing to do but sit with that frustration through the drive home, wondering how long it would take to burn a hole through me.