Chapter 13 #2
“Ah. Of course, dear. Discretion is my middle name.”
Discretion wasn’t even a word I was convinced she understood. But she seemed willing to play along. “Good. Thanks, Iola.”
“But when it’s official, I want to know! We’ll shout it from the rooftops together.”
I gave a little laugh. “Right. Well, I’m late, so…”
She patted my arm. “Off you go. Call me soon.” She continued down the block toward the Shears hair salon. “I want updates!”
I waved, nodding like a bobblehead to keep her happy, and then slipped into Rainbow Garden with a sigh.
Jamie stood inside, holding a takeout bag of Squealin’ Pig BBQ. The aroma of dozens of flowers mingled with its scent. Even with Maverick storing his flowers in coolers and the back room—with only a few plants on display—the whole shop smelled like a beautiful garden.
Maverick stood behind the check-out counter, snipping stems and arranging big sunflowers, yellow button chrysanthemums, and white daisies.
Jamie lifted the bag. “I got the hot links you love. I know it’s not quite as good as when I was catering…”
“It’s great,” Maverick said, turning the bouquet to view it from all sides. He adjusted a sprig of something green and leafy. “You know I’m not picky. Though, of course, your food was so good, Jamie. You don’t miss feeding people?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“He’s always loved dogs more than us,” I said with a sad sigh.
Jamie looked horrified. “I do not! I just enjoy making the biscuits because they deserve treats for being such good boys and girls. Someone has to spoil them.”
Maverick laughed. “Jamie, he’s just messing with you.”
Jamie gave me a look. “Rude.”
“What can I say? You make it easy.”
He huffed and turned to Maverick. “Guess who he was talking to outside? Iola!” His expression turned coy. “She looked happy, so I guess you’ve changed your mind about this matchmaking now that you’re hot for Bryson?”
“I’m not hot for anyone!”
I objected a little too fiercely. Maverick gave me an appraising look over the flowers. “Come on, be real. You and Bryson have great chemistry. I felt like Jamie and I needed popcorn the other night at Taco Loco.”
“What? That’s crazy.” I gave an uneasy laugh. “You were both there. We were all talking together.”
“But his eyes were always on you,” Jamie pointed out.
“And vice versa,” Maverick said. “There’s something there, Silas. I know you’re afraid because of what happened with Michael, but—”
“Don’t say his name,” my voice cracked out, too sharp.
Maverick’s eyes widened. Jamie sucked in a startled breath beside me. I groaned and dragged a hand down my face. “I’m sorry. I’m on edge. I didn’t sleep too well last night.”
Neither of them pointed out the most likely reason why.
They weren’t wrong. The closer I got to Bryson, the more Michael haunted me. The memory of what I’d lost, of the pain and humiliation he’d dealt me. He could have called off the wedding before I was standing like a fool in front of all our guests.
He could have been honest about his doubts, at least.
I’d had no clue. I’d stood there, smiling, completely unaware he was about to say “I don’t” and run away with a bartender he’d met at our rehearsal dinner. My stomach turned over, and I changed the subject.
“You might have a new customer soon,” I said, approaching the check-out counter. “Noel just presented Darren and Linc with an edible flower salad.”
“Like dandelions?” Jamie asked.
“No, it was blossoming pea shoots and, um, pansies, I think.”
Maverick nodded. “He came in for a small assortment of edible blossoms. How did the salad turn out?”
“It was beautiful. Not really to Darren and Linc’s tastes, but I’m hoping he can host Caitlyn and Branson’s dinner. I think Cait would love it, and the Grand View double-booked again.”
Jamie set the take-out bag on the counter and started unpacking cartons. “Isn’t that the third time this year?”
I grimaced. “Yeah. I’m usually better about triple-checking them.”
“You’ve had a lot on your plate,” Maverick said sympathetically.
It was nice enough of him not to mention the elephant in the room, but hell, we all knew what he meant, anyway.
“This Bryson thing is throwing me off my game.”
“You really like him, huh?” Jamie asked cautiously.
I sighed. “Yeah, and before you ask, yes. I was texting him in my car.”
Jamie gave an excited wiggle, not unlike a dog wagging its tail, and I hurried to add, “But just to check the name of his store. It’d be embarrassing if Branson brought it up and I didn’t know.”
“Uh-huh.” Maverick carried the bouquet he’d arranged to the cooler and set it inside. “So, that’s your story?”
“And I’m sticking to it,” I said.
“Well, for the record, I think you guys would be good together,” he said. “But only if you’re ready for that.”
I picked at the food carton Jamie had slid my way. I barely had an appetite after all the sampling at Noel’s table. “I don’t know if I am.” I swallowed. “I didn’t think I’d ever be.”
Jamie made a soft noise. “You deserve to be happy.”
“I’m happy,” I said.
At their skeptical looks, I added, “Ish. I’m happy-ish.”
Maverick returned to the counter and dug into his hot links. “Yeah, I remember happy-ish. It felt like enough at the time, but now…” He exchanged a meaningful look with Jamie, who nodded agreement. “Well, we just want you to lose the ish, babe.”
“I know,” I said softly. “I didn’t know there was an ish, not until recently. But I’m not sure I want to trade it in. What if it only leads to more pain?”
“There’s only one way to find out,” Maverick said.
That’s what I was afraid of. It was a risk, and I’d already gambled my heart once and lost. I couldn’t run away and start over if Bryson hurt me. I didn’t have it in me to do that all over again.
If I gave him a chance, and it didn’t work out, I wasn’t sure I could handle it.
Jamie put a hand on my arm. “You gotta have faith, Silas. If you don’t believe, how can anyone else?”
I slumped forward over the counter. “What if I don’t know how?”
“Then you’ll figure it out,” Maverick said. “Take your time. I don’t think Bryson is going anywhere.”
I thought of him sitting and laughing with Paxton. What if I dragged my feet and he met another man? Bryson was gorgeous and charming. Anyone would be a fool not to want to be with him.
My heart ached.
Me. I was the fool.
And if I didn’t figure out my shit, I might lose my chance with him.