Chapter 10 #2
It felt like he was plaguing my existence.
When he wasn’t physically there, he was in my thoughts.
I’d risked life and limb coming out in this storm, simply so I could clear my mind of him, but apparently that wasn’t enough to escape him.
I couldn’t help but feel pissed he’d shown up again, so I slammed to a stop and turned on him.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
Noah halted and scowled as he folded his arms across his broad chest. “I’m running. Am I not allowed to run?”
I stalked toward him, anger carrying my feet forward. “No, you’re following me.” I poked him in his stupid chest, but he captured my hand, holding it there.
My breaths had been coming in hard and fast until that moment, but as soon as his skin made contact with mine, I struggled to breathe at all. God, how I hated my reaction to him. How just one touch made me lose control. How my body so easily forgot that he was completely off limits.
“I didn’t follow you here,” he growled.
I shook my head, unsure if I believed him. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
He stared at me, confusion and hurt swirling in the bright-green depths of his eyes.
Finally, he released a humorless laugh and let go of my hand.
“I want nothing to do with you...” He glanced away from me, his mouth forming a hard line as he continued.
“And yet I still want everything.” He shook his head. “I need to get you out of my head.”
“Maybe start by leaving me alone.”
“I didn’t follow you here,” he repeated.
“Fine, fate just has a screwed-up sense of humor then. But you did choose to confront me at the party on Friday night.”
“Am I supposed to just ignore the fact you already want to move on?”
Now I was the one to laugh, but there was absolutely nothing about this situation that was remotely funny. “You broke up with me, Noah. You dumped me because your grandfather asked you to and because you can’t handle who my dad is. What I do now is none of your concern.”
I turned to leave, but he grabbed my hand once more, pulling me toward him. I slammed into his chest, and he trapped me in his arms. A million tingles erupted across my skin at the contact. Being this close to him was dangerous. It was heady and addictive. It was not helping me with moving on.
Thunder rumbled overhead, but the sound felt like a mere echo as I stared into Noah’s eyes.
“What are you doing?” It took every bit of willpower I possessed to make sure the words didn’t come out as a whisper.
I could see Noah was just as tortured as me. “I don’t want you rebounding onto somebody else.”
“That’s not up to you. You dumped me, remember?”
“I know.”
“So, let me go, Noah.”
“I can’t.” His arms gripped me tightly, but he seemed to be talking about so much more than just holding me close to him. “I can’t let you go,” he said. “But I can’t be with you either.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“I know.”
“You made your choice.”
“I know.” Each word from his lips was pained, and there was a panicked look in his eyes I’d never seen before. “It doesn’t stop me from missing you. From wanting you with every breath that I take.”
“You can’t say that stuff to me, Noah. It’s not fair.”
“But it’s true,” he replied. “I just keep thinking that perhaps if I could taste your lips one last time that would be enough. I could stop thinking about them. I could stop thinking about you. Maybe it would take the pain away, even if just for a moment. Maybe I could find some closure.”
“You want to kiss me to help you move on?”
“Yes.” His voice was rough.
It took a moment to process. “That’s really messed up, Noah.”
His jaw tightened like he knew it was insane, and yet it didn’t change how he felt. “Will you let me kiss you?”
As much as I wanted to pretend I wasn’t tempted, I was.
I despised this boy for dumping me. I hated him for being an ass to me on Friday night.
And yet, my body was acting like it had completely forgotten we were no longer together.
I liked to believe I had enough self-respect to refuse him, but all sense went out the window when I was standing in his arms. It took me far longer to respond than it should have, and I stared at him as desire warred with the wiser part of my brain.
“No.” I somehow choked out the smart response. My heart clenched tightly in objection. I wanted him just as badly as he seemed to want me, but I couldn’t give in. I shouldn’t.
Somehow, somehow, I found the strength to step away from him. To release myself from his grasp. I needed space so I could think. But as soon as I had created it, I knew I didn’t want there to be any distance between us at all.
One last kiss. That was all Noah was asking for. And what if he was right? What if one final kiss would help me move on? What if I could finally put him in my past? I was already hurting so much. Would it really be so bad if I took just one moment to forget the pain?
Before I could reconsider, I strode toward him, and he didn’t hesitate as he reached for me, dragging me in and crushing me to him. Our lips clashed together as thunder cracked, the storm swirling around us just as violent and passionate as our kiss.
I wasn’t even sure if you could call what we were doing a kiss. It was raw and carnal. It was something so much fiercer than any kisses I’d experienced before. It was all heat and need with none of the gentle kindness of Noah’s other kisses.
I hated it.
I loved it.
I wanted it to end.
I needed it to last forever.
We kissed with such passion it felt like the whole world quaked in response.
His hands were everywhere. His kiss was lips and tongue and teeth.
I didn’t think he could erase any more of the space between us, but then he lifted me into his arms. My legs wrapped around him, never wanting to let him go.
I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t think at all.
In that moment, all I knew was Noah, and I never wanted to know anything else.
It didn’t matter that the thunder was growing louder. That the wind was picking up, tugging at my hair and swirling the leaves around our feet. And when the skies opened and thick rain started to fall upon us, I thought perhaps that didn’t matter either. The world could drown, for all I cared.
We were both soaked through in moments and Noah pulled back from our kiss, staring at me through the sheeting rain that fell between us. I didn’t need to ask what he was thinking. I already knew. That kiss was it, and we were finished.
I jerked out of his hold and swiped a hand across my lips as I glared at him. That kiss wasn’t one that made you forget someone. It was the kind that imprinted on your soul and left its brand there forever.
“You done?” I growled.
Noah’s eyes were wild, his focus still on my lips as he stared at me. I felt like he was trying to control himself. Like he was on edge and could attack me with his lips again at any moment.
“Well?” I prompted, hugging my arms around the drenched clothes that clung to my waist.
He refused to meet my gaze. “I’m done.”
“Good.” I turned and started running back to school before I could give in to the emotions whirring within me. This was what he wanted. What I wanted. For this thing between us to be over. But if this was what I wanted, then why did I feel like I was going to cry?
Noah would forget me now.
But I was never going to forget that kiss.