Chapter 22 #2
He opened his mouth and went to say something but quickly closed it again. He looked lost for words, and I shook my head. He was never going to fight for us, and we both knew it.
I spun round and stormed away from him before he could torment me any further.
*
Noah’s words haunted me the rest of the day, so I was glad when Wes suggested we study together in the library after dinner. I hated that Noah had gotten in my head, and I jumped at the chance to fill my thoughts with economics homework instead.
Unfortunately, my economics homework didn’t want to be in my thoughts.
I must have been a terrible study partner.
Wes was having to ask me something several times before I registered the question, and even when I heard him, I had no clue what the answer was.
My mind was somewhere else entirely, and most of my homework lay unfinished on the desk.
“You seem distracted,” Wes said after I’d misheard one of his questions yet again.
“I know. I’m sorry. I...” My voice trailed off as I looked at him. “Wait, you wear glasses?”
I was surprised I hadn’t noticed him put them on, especially since they made him look like some kind of hot librarian. They gave off all these sexy nerd vibes, and now that I’d seen them, they were impossible to ignore.
I didn’t know he needed glasses. I’d never seen him wearing them before. Maybe he realized he couldn’t use them too often because they gave him too much power. He knew he would constantly captivate all the girls at school if he wore them every day.
“You only just noticed? Your head is in the clouds tonight.” He gave a nervous smile. “But, yeah, I wear glasses for reading sometimes. I’m always forgetting them though.”
“Uh-huh.” Man, even I sounded completely captivated by him right now. I’d only just noticed the glasses, but their power was getting to me already.
He frowned at my response. “You think I look silly.”
He went to remove them, but I lifted a hand in complaint. “Don’t…”
He paused, lightly grasping the side of the frame between his finger and thumb.
“I like the glasses,” I said.
He dropped his hand and tilted his head to the side as he watched me. “I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me.”
“I’m definitely not.”
“Sawyer says I look stupid in them.”
“I’m sure he’s just jealous.”
“I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure he needs glasses too, but he refuses to get them.”
It was probably a good thing Sawyer didn’t also have glasses. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the kind of damage the twins would inflict on girls’ hearts if they both walked around the school looking like young blond versions of Clark Kent.
“Well, I think the glasses look great.”
He slowly gave me a smile and shifted slightly closer to me. “Really?”
I nodded, not quite able to find my words now that he was sitting so close.
We were at a desk in the main section of the library, and there were enough students around that there was no way Wes was going to kiss me again.
It didn’t stop my eyes from dropping to his lips though.
Ever since I’d told him we were never kissing again, it was all I’d been able to think about, especially when he was around.
Things felt so much better when he kissed me, would it really be so bad if I gave in to the temptation again?
I think Wes might have been thinking the same thing because his lips were only inches from mine. I hadn’t even seen him move. Or had I been the one that moved? One small kiss in the library wasn’t all that bad, was it?
A cough sounded behind us, and we both jerked backward, my cheeks flaming bright red. I turned to find the crotchety, old librarian frowning down at us. “You two. No funny business in the library,” she hissed.
I swallowed and quickly nodded. Wes and I responded at the same time, “Yes, Miss Davis.”
She lifted an eyebrow, and I quickly turned back to my homework, focusing on it until she moved away.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Wes and I burst into hushed laughter, making the whole table next to us turn and shoot us curious looks.
I tried my best to ignore them. I’d already overheard them gossiping about Wes and me this evening.
People needed to mind their own business.
“That was close,” Wes said.
“Was it?” I turned to him. “I had no intention of partaking in any funny business in the library…”
He gave me a smile. “Sure, you didn’t.”
“I didn’t.”
“No one would blame you if you did. You do find me irresistible in my glasses, after all.”
“I didn’t say you were irresistible.”
“Your lips might not have, but your eyes did.” He gave me a cheeky grin. “And knowing how much you like the glasses, I’m thinking I should be more responsible with my eyesight and wear them more often.”
“I mean, if you want girls throwing themselves at you in the corridor, then go right ahead.”
“There’s only one girl I want throwing herself at me…”
My cheeks flushed as I glanced away. Wes was doing a terrible job at sticking within the friend zone. Ever since we’d kissed, the border of the zone had become blurry, and he’d been dancing right across it far too frequently this week.
The thing was, I didn’t hate it when he flirted with me. In fact, I quite liked it. It was easy and fun, and Wes always managed to make me smile. It didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous either.
Wes was still grinning when I focused back on him. “We’re really not getting much of our economics homework done, are we?” he said.
“Not really.”
“Want to take a walk outside instead? Perhaps we’ll focus better if we clear our heads.”
I wasn’t sure if he was talking in code or not.
We’d been so close to kissing before that my mind immediately conjured up thoughts of finding somewhere far more secluded and finishing what we nearly started.
He looked genuine enough though, and I was pretty sure I was just wishful thinking.
I began to pack my books away. “A walk sounds great.”
We went to leave our table, but as I looked up, I found Luther and Kaden seated not far from us. They were watching me closely. Given the matching looks of accusation in their eyes, they must have seen me nearly kiss Wes.
My throat constricted with a feeling of guilt, but I knew I had no reason to feel guilty. I was single and allowed to kiss whomever I wanted. Admittedly, I probably needed to avoid nearly kissing them in the library and with an audience, but I’d done nothing wrong.
“I just need to borrow these books,” Wes said, holding up several texts he’d gathered before I met him in the library. “It won’t take me more than a few minutes. Can I meet you outside?”
I gave him a tight smile. “Sure.”
As he headed over to the librarian, I turned toward Luther and Kaden once more.
Their eyes were still on me, and I stormed over to their table.
Luther leaned back in his chair as I approached, a disapproving look on his face.
Kaden didn’t appear nearly so judgmental, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes.
“What’s with you and Wes?” Luther demanded.
“That’s none of your business.”
“Except, I think it is. I told you not to give up on Noah.”
“And I told you that was unfair. I never agreed with you.”
“So? What? You’re with Wesley Montfort now?”
“Like I said, that’s not your concern.”
He shrugged. “It will be when Noah finds out. And he’s going to find out. Every kid in the library has been trying not to throw up from watching the two of you canoodle in here all night.”
I glanced around the room, and several people quickly looked away, avoiding my gaze.
No matter what I did in this school, it seemed I always had an audience.
I didn’t want Luther’s words to affect me, but they did.
My chest tightened, and my heart struggled to remember the way it had been so happily beating only moments ago.
I didn’t want Noah to hear anything that might upset him, but I also couldn’t spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells because I was worried about how he might feel.
We were over, and despite Luther’s concerns, Wes and I weren’t in a relationship.
We were just two hurt souls trying to help stitch each other back together.
“We weren’t canoodling. Wes and I are just friends,” I finally said.
“It didn’t look that way to me or anyone else here,” Luther replied.
“Noah’s going to be really hurt,” Kaden added. It was the first thing he’d said in the conversation, and somehow his quiet condemnation hurt just as much as Luther’s hard words.
“How is this my fault?” My voice was raised, and several students looked up from their books. I made sure to talk much quieter as I continued. “I know you’re both Noah’s friends, but he’s the one who chose to end our relationship. You can’t get pissed at me for accepting that and moving on.”
“So, you admit it, you’re moving on.”
I scowled at Luther. “Of course, I want to move on. Nobody wants to stay miserable.”
“I think Noah does.” Once again, Kaden’s words were calm and thoughtful, and they cut deeper because of it.
“Well, that’s his problem. Not mine.” I shook my head.
“Look, I’m not going to let you two make me feel guilty about anything I do or don’t do.
Noah and I are over, and I’m going to keep doing my best to put our relationship behind me.
So, stop with your judgmental stares and cryptic advice. It’s not helping anyone.”
I turned and walked away before either of the boys could respond.
I wasn’t quite sure what I’d hoped to achieve by talking to Kaden and Luther, but it had only served to make me more annoyed.
They were acting like I’d betrayed Noah, but we weren’t together anymore, and all I was doing was trying to survive the aftermath of our breakup.
Was I really the bad guy for spending time with the one person who helped me forget the pain?
I was still sparking with irritation as I made my way from the library.
I was sick of being told how to feel and what to think.
And I hated how invested people had become in my love life.
It was no one else’s business but my own, and yet I constantly seemed to hear other students gossiping about it.
I was so sick of it, and I just wanted to take control of the narrative for once.
More than anything, I just needed my whirring mind to stop.
Wes was already waiting for me in the corridor. There were other students milling around, but I barely noticed them as he started smiling at me. His expression dimmed when he saw my stormy demeanor.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I took a breath to try to calm myself. “It’s nothing.”
“Did something happen?”
“Just Kaden and Luther.” I shook my head.
“But they’re not the real problem. I know they want to protect their friend.
It’s everyone else that’s getting to me.
I’m so sick of the gossip in this place.
I swear, no matter what I do people are always talking about me.
I’m single. I should be able to do whatever I want. ”
He watched me for a second before he slowly started to smile. “So, you should do what you want then...”
“What—” I started to speak, but my question was cut off as Wes pulled me toward him, my hands landing against his chest as he wrapped his arms about me.
His face was so close to mine, and I could sense everyone in the corridor was watching us.
His eyes danced with mischief, and my heart raced in response.
“What exactly do you think I want?” I whispered.
“What you wanted in New York. And in my room...”
My eyes went to his mouth as he spoke. “You think I want to kiss you?”
“I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time,” he said. “And you did nearly partake in ‘funny business’ with me in the library.”
“I did not. I—”
He silenced my protests by pulling me closer and kissing me like we were completely alone in the world.
For a few blissful moments, my mind went totally blank, and my body buzzed with a new kind of emotion.
Wes’s lips worked their magic and somehow rebooted me, so when we drew apart, I no longer felt annoyed or worried.
He grinned, his cheeks turning slightly pink as he looked around at the staring students. “I don’t think I’ve helped you with your gossip problem.”
“No,” I agreed, my cheeks flushing too. Although if what Kaden and Luther had said was true, the kids who’d been watching Wes and I in the library tonight probably wouldn’t be surprised.
“I’m sure they will just blame the glasses. Really, you had no chance of resisting me.”
I laughed. “They are kind of irresistible.”
“I knew it.” He winked. “Remind me again why I shouldn’t wear them all the time?”
“Because I have no self-control when you do.”
“Now we couldn’t have that, could we?”
I swallowed as the more rational part of my brain started to kick in. “We probably shouldn’t have done that.” There were many reasons why, but I was already concerned about damaging my friendship with Wes. That was only going to intensify now that everyone at school would think we were together.
Wes waved my concern off with one hand. “Don’t overthink it. It was just one friend helping another out.” It was almost like he could read my mind.
“You’re sure it was nothing more?”
“It was nothing more,” he agreed. “You ready for our walk?”
“Uh, sure.” He was sounding way too calm and collected about all this. Meanwhile, I was internally beginning to freak out.
Wes lightly wrapped an arm over my shoulder and started to guide me away from the library, happily ignoring the whispers and curious looks that trailed us as we went.
I had no idea how he could act so unaffected by the attention. But more so, how he was so convinced that our kiss meant nothing. He was clearly fine with us just being friends. But why was a part of me disappointed?