Chapter 8 #2
“And that made you mad?” Amberlee asked. “Every girl at that school probably wanted to go to the Winter Formal with him.”
“The thing was, he wasn’t really asking me,” Jillian said, willing her voice to stay even. “It was just a mean joke. He was making fun of me.”
“What are you talking about?” Amberlee asked.
“He asked me in the hallway, in front of all his hockey team friends,” Jillian said, her cheeks heating at the memory. “He made this big, showy thing out of it.”
“Sounds romantic,” Amberlee said.
“Maybe to you,” Jillian said, as she turned onto Maple Street. “But I’m not like you. I like private things to stay private. And he knew me well enough to know that. The only reason for him to do what he did was to prank me.”
“Jillian, listen to me,” Amberlee said. “I know you’ve been through a lot with Alan. But not every man is a vicious little jerk. And no one would do something that cruel.”
“Well, they did it to Emmalene Monk the year before,” Jillian said, the words bitter in her mouth.
“What are you talking about?” Amberlee asked.
“You weren’t in high school yet, Amberlee,” Jillian said.
“But one of the guys on the basketball team did a whole prom-posal for her. Emmalene was so happy. And then they pulled the rug out from under her in front of everyone, called her an ugly loser and some other things too. I’ve never seen anyone cry like that. ”
“That’s… that’s awful,” Amberlee breathed.
“It was awful,” Jillian agreed.
“And that happened to you too?” Amberlee asked, her voice so sad.
“When Tripp invited me to the formal, it was the same set-up. The whole team was out in the hallway, and he was making some big speech. You know we weren’t in the same social circles.
We only ever talked at play practice. There’s no way he would have actually wanted to take me.
Which can only mean it was a cruel joke. ”
“What did you do?” Amberlee asked.
“I ran,” Jillian said. “I wanted to tell him off, but I just… I couldn’t find the words. So I ran instead.”
Amberlee let out a breath.
“That’s really, really awful, Jillian,” she said after a moment.
Her sister’s sympathy hit her hard. Jillian hadn’t really talked about any of this with anyone. She had run from the scene as it unfolded, and then locked it away in her heart so it could never catch up to her.
Maybe that’s why she felt like she was fighting back tears now.
Thinking about the whole thing made her feel sick inside all over again, and it made her feel like a fool for mooning over him in the attic the way she did.
“Anyway,” Jillian said, clearing her throat. “He seems like he’s toned down his antics a little now. He’s still working the family farm, and it looks like he’s been looking out for our grandparents too, keeping the fridge stocked, putting fresh gravel on the drive, and painting the back steps.”
“Good,” Amberlee said firmly. “He feels bad about what he did.”
“Oh,” Jillian said, surprised. That hadn’t occurred to her. “He’s coaching the hockey team now at the school, so I figured he was just coming by to talk to Grampy about that.”
“Maybe,” Amberlee said. “Or it could be both. Maybe he cares about Grampy and he feels bad about you.”
“I guess,” Jillian said, wondering if that could be true.
“Has he been nice to you since you got back?” Amberlee asked.
Jillian pulled up in front of the hardware store and parked the car, but didn’t get out.
“That’s the thing,” she said. “He’s been super nice, and, I don’t know… relaxed.”
“What do you mean by that?” Amberlee asked.
“I don’t know,” Jillian said, looking around at the little snow-covered town out the windows. “Like maybe too relaxed for someone who pulled such a mean prank?”
“I have two thoughts,” Amberlee said.
“Go on,” Jillian said, leaning back in her seat.
“First thought is that for you, that was a pivotal moment,” Amberlee said. “But from what I remember, Tripp Lawrence was a pretty rambunctious guy. That might not be a core memory for him like it was for you. Like maybe he doesn’t really think about it at all anymore.”
“That makes sense,” Jillian said.
“The other thing I know you don’t want to hear,” Amberlee said. “But I happen to know it’s true, and so do you. People change, Jillian.”
“Amberlee,” Jillian said helplessly, shaking her head.
When Alan left, Amberlee told Jillian repeatedly that if he had ever been a good guy, he had obviously changed.
While Jillian waited for him to snap out of the spell the other woman had cast on him, Amberlee insisted that Jillian needed to change too, and let him go.
Jillian had always been a type A person—organized, a planner and a plotter. No matter how much she wanted to relax, enjoy herself, and just go wherever the road took her, she knew that wasn’t really her way.
But over the years, she had learned to mask her inner tension and give people the impression that she was more laid-back than she actually was.
It might be possible to change outwardly. But not inside, where it mattered.
“I know you don’t believe it,” Amberlee said softly. “But one day you will. For now, maybe just give the Lawrence boy a chance to prove you wrong. I remember you being pretty good friends once upon a time. At the very least, you could probably use a friend right now.”
She wasn’t wrong. However else she felt about him, Jillian really could use a friend. Maybe Tripp could be that for her.
That could work, as long as I don’t do anything stupid.