Chapter 15
JILLIAN
Jillian floated through the weekend, feeling like things were almost too good to be true.
Her date with Tripp to Mia’s had been incredible. And it wasn’t just the unbelievably romantic setting or the divine food. It was Tripp, and the way he made her feel—like everything was okay, like she could laugh and relax and just… be.
When he dropped her off, she had held her breath in anticipation as he walked her to the door. But he still hadn’t gone in for a kiss, just squeezed her hand and told her he’d be back in the morning for her and the girls.
But she didn’t think for a minute that he hadn’t wanted to kiss her. She’d seen the way he’d looked at her all night, his blue gaze dropping to her lips now and then with thinly veiled hunger. He was just showing her that he had self-control, that he was trying to take things slowly.
His words echoed in her mind.
I’m all-in…
And the next morning, he was there bright and early, just as he’d promised.
Their day in town was absolutely magical. Posey and Tripp had participated in the snowball fight while Mari and Jillian watched from a safe distance. Jillian had even put her nursing skills to work when a little boy scraped his hand and needed a very small Band-Aid and a very big dose of comfort.
The tree-lighting ceremony was even more moving than Jillian remembered.
Posey was super sleepy by then, and she wound up in Tripp’s arms, with Mari standing between the grownups.
Tears prickled Jillian’s eyes as the choir sang the first sweet notes of “The First Noel” and the whole park went quiet and reverent as they thought about that very first Christmas.
The fact that some things in her small town never changed in spite of the frantic pace of the wider world was a true comfort.
The only moments when she felt anything but a wild happiness were in bed at night, after the girls fell asleep, when she stared at the ceiling and wondered if all this might actually be too good to be true.
Monday morning, she was headed into the school when the principal spotted her and called her back to the office.
“How is the new job treating you, Jillian?” the principal asked kindly.
“I love it here,” Jillian answered. She meant it too.
Even the teen girls, who seemed to have decided she was an unofficial therapist or at least a decent giver of advice, and came to her with all kinds of invisible ailments as excuses to take a time out from the stress of school, made her feel important and needed.
“I’m glad,” the principal told her with a smile. “Listen, one of our parent chaperones for the Winter Formal can’t make it. I was wondering if you could step in.”
“Oh,” Jillian said, surprised.
“You can bring a plus-one, of course,” the principal said. “Might as well enjoy yourself a little while you watch out for any kids trying to spike the punch. What do you say? Can you help out? There are rules about how many chaperones we need to keep the dance going.”
“Of course I’ll help,” Jillian said right away. “I’m glad to.”
“I’ll drop the details in an email,” the principal said as the phone started ringing. “Thank you for your help, Jillian.”
Jillian hurried off to the lounge to grab a cup of tea before starting her day. It was funny to think about chaperoning the dance that she had never attended as a student.
Her mind couldn’t help carrying her back to that day in the hall when Tripp had asked her. It wasn’t hard, since she passed that very spot almost every day now.
What if she hadn’t assumed the worst?
What if she had just accepted and actually gone with him that night?
But following those questions any further might lead to a version of her life that didn’t include Marigold and Posey.
And that was a life she didn’t want to even imagine.
Whatever pain and shame Alan had brought to her door, Jillian would repeat it all a thousand times to bring her girls into the world.
So instead, she put it all out of her mind and focused on that nice cup of tea she was about to enjoy before the school day began.
It was early enough that even the teachers’ lounge was empty. Pale dawn light filtered in, making the cheap sofa and the plastic chairs and tables look bright and clean.
She filled the electric kettle, then grabbed a teacup from the cupboard and a peppermint teabag from the glass jar on the counter, and gazed out the window while she waited for the water to heat up.
Snow always seemed to be falling lately. This morning, it was tiny flakes, drifting down at a dreamy pace. The trees outside the school had shed their colorful plumage, and the bare branches were dusted with a delicate coating of snow like powdered sugar.
“Hey there,” a familiar voice said.
She turned to see Jess Dansen, the high school theater teacher, heading in with his reusable coffee mug.
“Good morning, Jess,” she said.
“Oh boy, I get to make a fresh pot of coffee,” he said.
“Sorry,” she said. “I drink tea at school.”
“No worries,” he said, laughing as he filled the coffee carafe with water at the sink. “I like to make it strong anyway. What do you think of the school so far?”
“Oh, it’s great,” she told him.
“The principal really likes you,” he said, winking at her.
“Only because I agreed to chaperone the Winter Formal,” she said.
“So you drew the short straw for that?” Jess asked with a wink.
“I’m told it’s a fun event, even for the teachers,” she said. “And I get to bring a plus-one.”
“Who’s the lucky guy?” Jess asked.
“I’ve been seeing Tripp Lawrence,” she said. A little thrill went through her at the idea that it was true—they were officially seeing each other.
“Is that so?” Jess asked, his tone suddenly a lot less playful.
“We knew each other back in school,” she said, hoping he wasn’t thinking the worst of her for dating already when she had practically just arrived in town.
“Then you know to be careful, right?” Jess said, turning to face her fully.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
Jess sighed and placed his mug down on the counter.
“He’s a great guy,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong. If you ever got stuck in the snow, or needed a hand with moving, or your farm animals got loose, or you just needed an ear… well, the man would give you the shirt off his back.”
She nodded, that sounded exactly like the Tripp she was getting to know all over again.
“He’s an intense guy and when he’s all-in, he’s all-in,” Jess said. “But with women, he doesn’t tend to stay all-in.”
“What do you mean?” Jillian asked.
“He likes to keep it casual,” Jess said, putting some air quotes around that last bit. “Or so I’m told. And as soon as a woman gets serious about him, he heads for the hills.”
Jillian swallowed hard as her stomach twisted.
He cares about me, she reminded herself. He shows it in everything he does.
“I think it might be different with us,” she ventured after a moment.
“I hope you’re right,” Jess said. “He’s already broken more than his share of hearts in this town.”
“I’m really grateful for that heads-up,” Jillian said.
“We school people have to stick together,” Jess said, winking again. “And I’ll be rooting for you to turn Tripp Lawrence around. That boy could use a good woman.”
Jillian couldn’t help laughing at anyone calling Tripp a boy. And it was a comfort in a way, because it showed her that this was just one more instance of someone who had known Tripp since childhood assuming he had never changed.
The kettle beeped and she poured hot water onto her teabag, enjoying the light peppermint scent.
“See you around,” she told Jess as she headed down the hall to the infirmary.
The morning was still spread out with potential in front of her, and her tea let out that cheerful, fragrant steam she’d been looking forward to.
But somehow, Jillian couldn’t shake the funny feeling in her stomach.
Tripp Lawrence won’t break my heart, she told herself sternly. I can trust him.
Can’t I?