Chapter 28 Aston
Aston
Dear Diary,
Homecoming was this weekend.
A big football game, where they bestowed people with crowns and celebrated senior football players and cheerleaders, followed by a dance in the school gymnasium.
I did go to the game. Watched Vale win some award and take pictures with his daddy… pretended it didn’t hurt.
They won. Of course they did. Vale’s a force to be reckoned with on the field. I don’t even have to understand the rules to know that.
As for the dance…
I tried to convince Eden to go, but he wasn’t having it. Admittedly, I didn’t try very hard to sway him. Once I learned Vale wasn’t going—
Take that, Sethica!!!
—it just seemed pointless.
And it’s not like Homecoming is even a big deal. Apparently all the cool kids go to the Furnaces to party instead. According to Eden, Grady Prep’s semi-formal in February is the big one. Even bigger than prom for some reason.
At the rate things are going though…I doubt I’ll be attending that one either. Not unless I can bully Eden into it, and I’m not even sure that I’d want to. Double dates? Totes. But a pity date with my lil bro…
Well, I’d like to keep what cool points I’ve amassed.
Which, admittedly, isn’t as much as I’d like.
On the bright side…at least Seth and Vale are still broken up.
Watching them drive off together last week? Yeah, that wasn’t fun. If not for Eden, I probably would’ve went off the rails completely. Instead I plotted and journaled and plotted some more…
And what do you know? Come Monday, Seth was nowhere to be found, and Vale’s single status was still very much in place. I can only assume he killed poor Sethy, chopped him into tiny pieces, and scattered them in the woods.
At least…that’s what I would’ve done had I got my hands on him after seeing him ride off with my man.
Yes, he’s still my man. We’ve just hit a sort of…rough patch. It’ll smooth over in no time, especially now that Seth is gone.
XOXO
-A
JK, Seth is very much still alive.
He was back in school today. Ugh.
Lucky for him, I’ve had time to cool off.
It also helps that he looked like utter shit today.
Like…dude’s clearly going through it.
If anything, I might actually have room in me to pity him.
Just a smidge.
Boredom and uncertainty—two states of mind I try desperately to avoid at all costs.
Especially when they’re determined to spit-roast me.
After days pass without any progress in the Make Vale Mine operation…
Progress some stupid, naive part of me decided, somewhere along the way, must be imminent—a forgone conclusion—after what happened last week.
…I can feel my hopes sinking.
And with it, my mood and my ability to regulate it.
As if you do a spectacular job of that on a good day…
Gasping at my brain’s rude commentary—commentary I never asked for, thank you very much—I all but stomp the rest of the way to my locker. The final bell for the day just rung, drawing an anticlimactic close on yet another uneventful day at Grady Prep.
Okay, so it wasn’t totally uneventful.
I did have a little run-in with the Alicias today, which turned out to be the highlight of my week.
There I was in the cafeteria—yes, I’ve resumed eating with the masses—minding my own business as I watched Vale from afar, picking away at cold chicken…something, when a three-headed shadow fell over me.
“What’s your damage, Alicia?” I bite out, apropos of nothing…nothing other than having my space violated by her catty, snooty, gold-shitting presence.
Getting fucked gently by a chainsaw would be more pleasant.
Startled by my very loud, unprovoked—see also: proactive—outburst, the Queen Bitch herself actually has the gall to look self-conscious when the room plummets to silence, and all eyes shift our way.
Puh-lease.
I know a fake-out when I see one.
True to form, not even a second later, a familiar sneer has settled back in over her face. Arms crossed, she taps her heel. “My damage, freak, is that you can’t sit here. This is our table.” She flicks her perfectly manicured fingers. “Now, scram.”
My brow furrows, and I twist to look across the room to where the football players gather around their usual table. The table the cheerleaders, as in Alicia and her little posse, typically cling to as well.
Vale’s there, right where he was moments ago, when I was so rudely interrupted...reclined against the wall, a bottle of water rolling between his hands, looking as regal and untouchable as ever.
Unlike before, though, when he doing all that he could to ignore my blatant staring, he’s now blatantly watching me in return. Expression devoid of any decipherable emotion. Anything that could tell me what he’s thinking.
There’s the tap-tap-tap of a heel. “Are you deaf on top of being crazy? I told you to get.”
“No, you didn’t,” I mutter.
The tapping stops. “What was that?”
Puffing out my cheeks, I twist in my seat to face her, ensuring she sees my eye roll. “I said, no…you didn’t. As in you didn’t say get, you said scram.”
Her face reddens. I can practically see the steam pouring out from her ears.
“And since when do you know how to eat lunch without a heaping side of validation?”
She blinks stupidly.
I tap my chin thoughtfully. “Or does getting your ego stroked by dumb jocks have too many calories now too?” I nod.
“Makes sense, given how inflated your head already is. I’d cut back too if I were you.
” I smile sweetly. “Gotta make sure you can still fit that thing in whoever’s ass you’re up this week.
Mr. Porter’s, right? Or have we already moved on from that one? ”
Alicia #2 and #3 gasp as once, because I’m pretty sure they share a brain.
And because it’s so quiet in the cafeteria, and because I’m talking so loud…
loud enough to ensure a certain far-away someone can hear and marvel at my wit…
I don’t miss the low whistle from a nearby table, and the mumbled, “Fucking brutal, brah,” earning them a wink and a kissy face from yours truly.
I’m dimly aware of chair legs screeching across the floor, and a collective gasp that warns of fast-approaching trouble. But just as I register Alicia lunging for me, claws out and ready to strike, a pale muscular arm catches her around the middle.
Wide, mirthful blue eyes belonging to none other than Casey Shrute find mine. “You’ve got balls, Myers. I’ll give you that.” Wrestling a thrashing Alicia into some semblance of submission, he all but drags her out of the cafeteria. His girlfriend Thea chasing after them.
“You’ll pay for that!” Alicia screeches my way. The other Alicias are quick to clamor after them, ever the dutiful minions.
I snap my teeth at their retreating figures.
Good riddance.
A glance over my shoulder to where Casey seemingly teleported has my chest sinking when I find Vale is no longer there.
In an unexplainable panic, I shove up to a stand, hands clutching the edge of the table. I sweep my wide, unblinking gaze over the room.
It’s not until I catch sight of his retreating back disappearing through the exit closest to his table, that I expel the breath I’d been holding.
The disappointment that crashes over me is as instantaneous as it is crushing…
And something I haven’t been able to shake since.
But he looked at me.
He looked at me.
That’s better than nothing.
Hence, that being the highlight of my week.
It’s like we’ve gone backward. Back to how things were before that fateful party.
No, scratch that. Back to how things were before that first day in the bathroom, when I finally got him alone.
And with Halloween only a couple days away, and the Harvest Carnival I keep hearing so much about…
Well, I’m finding it increasingly hard not to be a total Grinch.
Halloween’s one of my favorite holidays after all, and something I was really looking forward to this year, now that I finally get to experience it the way it’s meant to be experienced…
But given the dismal state of my love life, can you really blame me for not getting into the holiday spirit?
I know I didn’t imagine our connection.
It can’t have all been for nothing…it just can’t.
Opening my locker, I’m so distracted by my wallowing, I don’t immediately notice that something’s amiss. Not until I’ve set my books on the shelf, and something white catches my eye as it falls to the floor.
The chatter and clanging of lockers surrounding me fades even more to the background, replaced by a high-pitched whining in my ears as I reach down, watching in slow motion and as if outside my body, as I scoop up the folded piece of paper.
My heart pounds.
My breaths grow shallow.
And with surprisingly shaky fingers, I carefully open it. Chewing my lip as I take in the hastily scrawled words waiting for me.
Saturday. Chamber of Mirrors.
Don’t let anyone see you.
I blink rapidly, lips fumbling for words as my carriage rises with my deep inhale.
Is this…
I look around, eyes big and wide, searching for some kind of confirmation, when my gaze lands on Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome himself strutting across where the hallways intersect.
My mouth dries. Could it be?
I mean…it has to be…right?
Just before he disappears around the corner, Vale turns his head, his gaze locking right on mine. Like he was waiting for me. And just like that, all worries from a moment ago—all doubts when it comes to him; all niggling uncertainty—retreat to whatever dark corner in my mind they came from.
And it hits me suddenly—that…wrongness I felt. That hesitancy. Those warning bells that have been growing steadily louder, warning me of an impending episode, if I didn’t get my shit together. That pervading weirdness.
I was just getting tired of doing the chasing!
That’s it.
It was his turn, damn it.
I needed a sign…
And now I’ve got one.
Heck, not even a sign. An invitation. One that leaves no room for argument.
He wants me. My little mouse wants me.
He doesn’t hate me.
And Seth? Seth??? Seth fucking who?
(Yeah, I’m still salty over that. I mean, he LEFT IN HIS CAR WITH HIM. Right in fucking front of me.)
Pressing the note to my chest, I bury my teeth in my lip to contain my manic grin as I gaze down at the note once more. Chamber of Mirrors, I mouth, reading his stilted words once more.
Frowning, I turn to Darwin and ask, “Hey, where’s the Chamber of Mirrors?”
He shoves his glasses up, and scowls at me. “What?”
I snap my fingers. “Chamber of Mirrors. My boy…friend wants to meet me there Saturday, but I have no idea what that is.”
Darwin blinks in that owlish way he does. “The mines. The Tunnel of Horror.”
I stare at him.
“It’ll be a sectioned off corridor full of mirrors,” he says slowly, like he’s talking to a child. “Like a maze. Can’t miss it.”
Oh. Right. That makes sense. Duh.
I roll my eyes. “No need to be sassy with me, dude. I’m new here, remember?”
Muttering something under his breath, he slams his locker shut and strolls away.
“See you tomorrow!” I yell after him.
He flips me off.
“I see you’ve made a friend,” a voice says dryly.
I tense, turning slowly. “Stalk much?”
Dr. Benson arches a brow over his glasses. Swinging his briefcase in front of him, he grips the handle with two hands. “Just thought I’d come over and say hi. See how you’re doing.”
I grin widely. “Never better!”
His eyes narrow slightly, before flitting down to the note dangling from my fingers. I quickly crush it in my fist and shove it behind me, hiding it from sight.
Dr. Benson hum-grunts. Then, “You going to the carnival this weekend?”
I shrug. “Maybe.”
You bet my tight ass, I am.
But he doesn’t need to know that.
He smiles thinly and dips his head. “Right… I’ll see you next week?”
I smile blithely right back. “As if I have a choice, Doc.”
He glances behind me, and then continues on his way, briefcase thumping against his thigh.
Once he’s out of sight, I lift my free hand to my hair, raking it through the strands.
Un-crumpling the note, I take one last moment to gaze upon Vale’s stilted instructions before carefully folding it back into a perfect square and stuffing it in my front pocket.
After I gather what I need for homework tonight, I slam my locker shut, hit Play on the Walkman clipped to my belt, and lift the headphones around my ears just as “Love School” by the Divinyls kicks on.
The music combined with my racing thoughts drowns out everything else as I strut myself toward the doors. Deciding to forgo watching Vale’s practice in favor of figuring out what I’m going to wear Saturday, I text Eden to let him know I’m on my way.
I’m all but floating my way out of the school, my mind buzzing with excitement as I fantasize about all the things Vale might want to do to me Saturday. Making a mental list of all the things I need to do in preparation for our date.
A date! My very first…
Just outside, I pass a row of shrubbery, and something fluttering in the corner of my eye snags my attention. Halting me mid-thought and mid-step.
It’s a tiny one, this butterfly. About the size of my thumbnail. And its metallic blue wings with the white speckled underside give it away immediately, distinguishing it from the Eastern-tailed blue which is only slightly bigger. And seen in this region just about just as often as this species.
The Spring Azure.
Celastrina ladon.
They get their common name for being one of the first to emerge in the spring—a symbol of hope and new beginnings.
And what’s especially unique about them is that they’re protected by ants during the larval stage, when they’re just witty bitty caterpillars and easy prey for predators, if not for the creepy-crawly little guys.
In exchange, the ants get the sugary substance the caterpillars excrete, called honeydew.
I always wonder what it tasted like. But seeing as it comes out of their butts…
I’m not that brave.
Lowering the headphones, I let the music play muffled against my neck.
“Hey, little guy,” I whisper, slowly approaching the pretty critter. “Bit late in the season for you to be wanderin’ about.”
It takes a couple tries before I manage to snag it from the air.
“There, there,” I say after I’ve snuffed its life out. “It’s better this way. Trust me. You’ll be treasured forever now, and never have to fear anything again.”
I dig through my pocket for one of my Blow Pop wrappers, when my fingers brush something else instead. Vale’s note.
Now, this is what I call a sign.
Humming under my breath, I bring the butterfly back up to eye level, and say, “Everything’s going to work out, isn’t it?” I give its wing a little stroke. “Hmm, yeah, I think I know exactly how I’m going to honor you.”
Closing it gently in my hand, I turn, hiking up my bag, and rather than continue making my way toward the quad, I head in the opposite direction.
Toward the student lot.