Chapter 25 #2
“Maybe?”
“That is what I said.”
“You know more than maybe.”
“I know it’s being discussed. I know he’s considering it. I know it would change a lot.”
“For him or for you?”
“For both of us.”
Jabari did not joke.
That made me pay attention.
“How do you feel about that, Mani?”
My throat tightened unexpectedly.
“You are asking that like a normal, emotionally available person.”
“Do not ruin the moment.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I’m really not.”
He huffed once, but the softness stayed in his voice.
“I’m proud of him,” I said. “I think he should take it. The game still speaks to him. I saw it when we watched the Forge play. He sees things before they happen. He gets frustrated because he knows what could be fixed.”
“But?”
“But I’m afraid.”
“Of the job?”
“Of the pattern.”
Jabari went quiet.
He understood. I hated that he understood.
“He’ll be busy,” I said. “Traveling. Back in that world. I may be traveling more for Saint Aurelia. And I know we’re older now. I know things are different. But the last time our lives got that big and demanding, we lost each other.”
“You didn’t lose each other because life got big.”
My eyes flicked toward the dashboard.
“You were young,” he said. “And both of you were scared.”
I swallowed.
Jabari sighed. “I never told you something.”
The way he said it changed the air in the car.
“What?”
“When you finally left Dre’s apartment after everything blew up, I went over there.”
My heart began to pound.
“You what?”
“I went to confront him.”
“Jabari.”
“You were destroyed, Mani. You came home looking like somebody had taken a piece out of you. I was mad. I didn’t know what he had said or done, but I knew my sister was hurting, and somebody needed to answer for it.”
The light ahead turned red.
I stopped harder than I should have.
“What happened?”
“Tee let me in.”
Of course Tee had. Dre and Tee had been nearly impossible to separate back then, two football players with too much charm, too much energy, and a refrigerator that never had enough food.
“He opened the door,” Jabari continued, “looked at me, and shook his head.”
“Tee did?”
“Yeah. He said, ‘Whatever you came to do, bruh, you probably ain’t gon’ need to.’”
My grip tightened.
“I thought Dre had somebody there,” Jabari said. “I was young and mad and ready to believe the worst. Half expected to find some girl in his room.”
My stomach dropped.
“But?”
“But I found Dre.”
His voice softened in a way I almost never heard.
“He was sitting on the floor beside his bed, back against the wall. Apartment dark except the lamp. Clothes everywhere. That Pittsburgh draft hat on the floor like he had thrown it. Bottle beside him.”
I sucked in a breath. “Dre was drinking?”
“Yeah.”
“He barely drank back then.”
“I know.”
“He pretty much never drank when he was training.”
“I know, Mani.”
The light changed, but the car behind me had to tap its horn before I moved.
Jabari waited until I was driving again.
“He was messed up,” he said. “Not drunk showing out. Not angry. Just hurt. Close to tears and fighting it like that would make him less broken. I went there ready to put hands on him, or at least talk crazy enough to make myself feel useful. But when I saw him, I couldn’t.”
My eyes burned.
“What did he say?”
“I’m not giving you every word. Some of it belonged to him. But I’ll tell you this. That man would have done anything to keep you if he thought you wouldn’t resent him for it.”
A sound left me before I could catch it.
“He said that?”
“In his way.”
I blinked hard.
“He loved you,” Jabari said. “Enough to let you go because he believed asking you to stay would make you choose smaller than you were built for. I didn’t agree with how y’all handled it. I still don’t. Both of you were too proud, too quiet, and too dramatic for no reason.”
“Jabari.”
“But he let you go because he loved you, Imani.”
My chest hurt.
“And he loves you still.”
The road blurred for a second.
I reached for the control to lower the air because suddenly the car felt too warm.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You weren’t ready to hear it.”
“That wasn’t your decision.”
“It was my observation.”
“Jabari.”
“You were trying to survive losing him. If I had told you he was falling apart too, you either would have run back before you were ready or hated him for making you feel guilty. And it wasn’t my story to hand you when neither one of you knew what to do with it.”
I hated how much sense that made.
“You should have told me eventually.”
“Maybe.”
“Definitely.”
“Fine. Definitely.” He paused. “I’m telling you now because I don’t want you making a decision based on an old version of what happened. Dre was never against you. Not then. Not now. Whatever happens with that coaching job, know that man is on your side.”
My throat tightened so hard I could barely answer.
“I know.”
“Do you?”
I thought about Dre standing beside me in a private terminal and telling everyone I was the client lead.
Helping me unpack boxes. Giving me the code to his house because he wanted me there.
Having Saint Aurelia make me diamonds bold enough to stand beside his because he thought I deserved them.
Kissing me like patience was something he could learn if it meant loving me better.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I do.”
“Good.”
A long silence passed between us.
Then Jabari said, “Also, send me the gift amount before I decide love has made you financially irresponsible.”
I laughed, but it broke in the middle.
“You are so irritating.”
“And emotionally useful. Growth.”
“Bye, Bari.”
“Bye, Mani.”
The call ended, and for several blocks, I drove in silence.
Eight years ago, I had left believing Dre’s restraint meant he had accepted the end before I did. I thought he let me walk away because football, the draft, and the life waiting for him mattered more than asking me to stay.
But Dre had broken too.
Dre had sat in his apartment with a bottle beside him and a future in front of him he did not know how to celebrate because I was gone.
When I reached the gate to his house, I was still carrying that image. It did not feel like proof or guilt. It felt like one more piece of the truth I should have had a long time ago.
I entered the code with fingers that shook only a little.
The gate opened. And I drove toward the man I had once misunderstood, trying this time to meet him with the whole truth in my hands.