Chapter Eighteen #2
And I’m really not sure if I should be amused or concerned that I’m so unnoticeable to her.
Roles reversed, I’d notice her in a restaurant.
Fuck.
I drink my whiskey and order another.
At least I get some reading done, and it’s a book I’ve been meaning to get to. I pay the check and sit with the final whiskey. When she finishes and Lia glances at her phone, the two of them pay up, and start to leave.
This restaurant bar is a few blocks from Violet’s apartment. I wait until she’s outside, and I feel her gaze try to sweep in everyone as they leave, but I keep my head low, and she’s moving too fast.
Or, you know, I’m a literal ghost to her.
What the fuck have I got myself into?
But I know.
The best kind of trouble.
Delicious, wrong, and wild.
I imagine I smell her scent, the rich summer flowers blooming in the evening, perfuming the coming night.
But it’s not, it can’t be. What I smell is a mix of food and booze and the clash of perfume and whatever scent the restaurant has at the entrance. My imagination is in overdrive, and I’m still hard.
So, I do what needs to be done. I imagine my brother sitting at home, not moving out, wearing just a pair of Superman underpants like he had as a kid while playing endless video games.
Boner killer, right there.
I shudder.
Jack better have moved out and not been full of hot air. I’d have let him stay if he hadn’t taken it so far. If he hadn’t spied on Vi.
Fuck, I might have forgiven the spying if he actually loved her. But I don’t think he does. I think he loves the idea of her. He loves the familiarity of having a girl there for when he wants her.
Vi’s worth so much more than that.
I text her.
Me
Don’t walk straight home. Turn right and take Humboldt Street, not Graham Ave and then cross to Devoe…
I finish laying out the route that’ll take her in a circuitous route home.
Vi2l
Where are you?
Ghost
Just walk, and don’t look around.
Vi2l
I have to say goodbye to my friend.
I finish my whiskey and get up. Through the window of the restaurant, I can see them on the street, an Uber waiting.
I smile. Stepping back.
Me
After she gets in her Uber. And don’t question me. Your job is to do what you’re told, or I’ll make you come so hard on the street you’ll fall down screaming.
She flinches and whips her head around, gaze excited as she looks for me. But she hugs her friend and when Lia’s in the car and Vi waves her off, she texts me.
Vi2l
Okay. She’s gone.
Me
I know. Start walking and eyes front.
I don’t follow immediately. I turn the toy on to a very low buzz so she knows I’m there. And maybe she thinks I’m right behind her.
Me
This thing you want, the fantasy…or should I say fantasies? It won’t work if it doesn’t feel real. Are you okay with that?
There’s a beat.
Vi2l
Yes.
Ghost
We blur the lines. I need your hard limits. Pain. Whips, wax?
Vi2l
I don’t know.
That’s fair, I’m not planning on that, but I’m not against it.
There’s ice, there are feathers. Shit, there are all kinds of things like blood play which she might be into, but it’s a learning curve, and I don’t expect her to say yes to that right now.
I want to lay things out, see how she feels about the next things.
Me
We’ll revisit that one. Spanking? Roughing up in sex play—no violence, but rough. Rape fantasies can be rough. So can primal play—me chasing you down and subduing you. Just hands on skin.
Vi2l
Yes.
No wait with that. And I smile as I get up and head out, trailing after her. She’s up ahead, turning the corner. Bless her obedient heart, she doesn’t look back.
I personally think she’s going to be the most intriguing sub. One that’s not traditional at all, but I think I’m going to like it more than I’ve ever liked a sub before.
Me
Good. Are you okay with playing it real? When I come after you, there’s no stopping me, you can say no, stop, all the words, and I won’t. Just like in a real attack.
Vi2l
Can I fight back?
Me
Darling, I wouldn’t be interested if you didn’t.
Vi2l
Yes.
Me
Wrong answer. You think you trust me, and that’s good, but there will be times I might go too far or you do want to stop. Whatever your reasons, I don’t care, they’re yours, so we stop.
No matter when, we stop.
For that, I need you to choose a safe word.
You use that, and I’ll stop. If I’m in you, I’ll stop and pull out. Understand?
I’m hammering in the point because this is important. I never want to hurt or harm her. But there’ll be times she might think I will, and she needs to have that control to stop me if she needs to.
Vi2l
I get it.
Me
This is YOUR fantasy.
The ultimate control of everything comes down to your one word. Until you utter it, I’ll do what I want, when I want, and you obey or there’ll be consequences. The word doesn’t get you out of those. You use it when your limits are breached, or you don’t like it or are truly scared. Understand?
Vi2l
Yes, yes, I get it.
If I ask, will you turn the toy off?
I turn it up one notch.
Vi2l
And if I used that safe word?
I turn it off.
My smile grows a little as I turn it back on.
Me
Of course, you don’t have that word yet. So you better choose one. Something totally unsexy.
Vi2l
Rickrolling?
Me
You mean Rick Astley, the dude from the ‘80s?
Vi2l
Rick Astley. That’s my safe word.
Me
That’s two words and no, that’s too sexy. I often scream out ‘Rick Astley’ during sex.
Vi2l
Then you’re doing it wrong.
Me
Maybe I am. Choose another.
Vi2l
What about cement? Or does that turn you on, too?
Me
It used to, but after that one time, it definitely no longer turns me on.
Vi2l
I choose cement.
Me
Cement it is.
And like The Ghost I’m meant to be, I turn off the toy and let go on her way.
For now.