Chapter 21 Violet #2
I once had a fantasy about my boss…no one in particular, just a generic hot boss who forced me to do things, to degrade myself, to get under the table and suck him off, to do things like the file cabinet except it was fetching a book. Him fucking me on the desk.
All things Isaac has probably done to others, things he probably wants to do to me.
And it’s sickening.
The bile rises again.
Fantasy and real life aren’t the same. In the fantasies played in real life, there’s a safe word. I can ask for hard and fast boundaries.
Right now, I don’t even want to see The Ghost.
Right now, I want to run screaming.
I want to scrub my skin until it’s red, clean, possibly bleeding.
But that would be giving Isaac what he wants.
I see it, suddenly.
He wants to fuck with me. He wants to punish and tear me down and then maybe humiliate me for turning him down.
Maybe they’ll believe me if I go to the press with this, if I go to higher ups, the senator, maybe, and Isaac would be in trouble.
Or maybe they’d laugh at me, ignore everything, blame me.
Either way, what would happen is I’d be marked as bad news. I’d be marked as a troublemaker. Who’d want to hire a girl that might ruin your career because she is too soft, too sensitive to work in this line of business?
No. Isaac either knows something’s going to be coming out against him and he’s just going to step aside, or he’s fucking with me. Either way, I don’t think he’s going to cross the line.
Besides, internships have an end date, and if I just sit tight, I’ll get through this.
I get the files, and he makes me sit with him as he works.
He starts drinking more, and he gives me a fresh glass, prodding me to drink, too.
Sipping slowly helps, because turning him down seems to annoy him. At least, it’s not roofied.
“You’d be prettier if you wore shorter dresses, light ones. Men appreciate that.”
“Luckily, I’m not here to please men, I’m here to do a job.” I swallow. “And to learn from you.”
That earns me a smile. It’s now almost eight thirty p.m., and Isaac is tipsy.
He leans forward. “Red lips, much redder than what you have on now. That’s the lipstick I want to see. Looks good when wrapped around a cock.”
“I’m not wearing lipstick.”
“We could test it.”
“No. Can we work, Isaac? I have to go.”
He slams a hand down and gets up. “You go when I say you can and not before.”
He stalks out and returns with a fresh bottle, opening and topping up our glasses.
I used to like cognac. Not anymore.
He doesn’t sit, but he comes up behind me, a finger tracing the zipper on the back of my dress, and the bile burns my throat.
I swallow it down. “I have to go.”
“And I said no. Come on, Violet. There’s one more thing I need you to do. Something I know you want, no matter how much you pretend otherwise. Because I can recognize it in you.”
I tense up at that.
He can see I’m somehow wrong? That I like fucked up dark games?
Isaac leans in, breathing cognac fumes on me. “Yes, sweet young thing, you’re a dirty girl. You hide it, but not enough. You want me to hold you down and fuck your brains out. I bet you like it up the ass, too.”
“No—”
“Don’t lie. We’ve been fighting this. But you’re aching for me.”
He slides a hand down over my breasts, heading down south, and I push the seat back, making him stumble away.
He goes for his zip. “A blowjob? We can do that.”
Shit, shit. I need to… I need…
I look at him and stand, backing away from him. “I need to use the bathroom.”
Then I turn and run and lock myself in, sliding down to the floor.
I don’t know what I expect as I sit there, giving in to the shaking.
How far have I fallen?
Last week, I was the girl who threatened to smash his jaw. Now I’m running from him and locking the door.
But there’s no way a man as built and tall as Isaac is going to be intimidated by me. I might have won that round through pure surprise, but now?
He knows he could take me. And he sees something in me, something that tells him he can do what he wants.
He doesn’t come after me, doesn’t knock on my stall, and I slowly control the shaking.
Isaac doesn’t have to come after me, though, does he? He knows he can do what he wants, since there’s no one else here. I have to get out past him, and if he thinks this is a game…
I gulp back a sob and grab my phone, holding it in both hands.
Shit. It’s almost nine p.m.
The cynical part of me thinks he might be drinking, getting me to drink to have some sort of alibi if things go south.
I really don’t care. All I do care about is getting out of here, with both my job and my body intact.
Lia can’t do a thing. Two girls yelling at him about rights isn’t going to get too far, and I don’t want her in danger.
Jack—
No. Not Jack.
I find Cade’s number and press call. He’s the only guy who might be able to help me. Though, how, I don’t know. Turn up and IT Isaac’s ass? Wreck his computers?
I swallow down a hysterical laugh.
He answers on the second ring. “Vi? What’s up?”
“C-Cade…” I stop, another sob welling up, but I manage to keep it down. “I…”
Shit, how do I say it? And I didn’t even think, maybe he’s on a date.
“What the fuck’s wrong?”
“I shouldn’t have called. I—”
“Violet.” His tone turns dark, and I shiver. There’s concern there. “I know something’s going on. You wouldn’t call me sounding upset. So, what’s up? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I…” I sigh. “I don’t know if I’m overreacting. I’m still at work, and Isaac’s been drinking. He just hit on me, he’s being creepy with it. An asshole.”
I close my eyes, see his hand going for his zip. “He just made a pass at me. So, I don’t know what to do.”
“Where are you?”
“In the bathroom. I locked myself in.”
“Good. Stay there. I’m on my way.”
It’s like I’m there for hours or moments, but when Cade’s voice echoes in the hallway, a tear trickles down my cheek, and I swipe it away.
I get up, unlock the door, and make my way to Isaac’s office, and I almost collapse to the ground.
Cade’s in a suit, and he looks hot. A different sort of hot than I’m used to with him, one that’s darkly, dangerously elegant, and tingles slide down my spine, but it’s just the aftermath of my scare.
“No, I’m Cade,” he’s saying to Isaac. “Cade Maddox. Vi’s boyfriend. I’m here to surprise her with dinner for our anniversary.”
I come up, and Cade slides an arm around me and brushes his lips against my hair, and that tingle fizzes up through me.
“Cade, you’re here.”
“Hey. Surprise.”
Isaac’s behind his desk, the glass next to him. And he looks cool and professional, if you don’t look too close. Because under that, he’s tense, and his gaze is dark and hard. “Enjoy your dinner. I think we’re finished here for the night.”
Cade smiles easily and asks where my office is so he can get my things.
“I’ll show you.”
Something makes me look over my shoulder at Isaac, whose eyes are narrowed, and my skin crawls.
He’s unhappy with Cade interrupting things, and I have a horrible feeling he’s going to make me pay for this. Somehow.
But I go with Cade, and he helps me get my things, then slings his arm around my shoulders and walks me out the door to a car.
“Are you okay?”
“Whose car is this?”
“A friend’s. He has a couple. Come on, I’ll see you home.”
I turn to him. “Thanks for coming to my rescue. I seem to be making a habit out of it.”
He shrugs. “You can call me anytime with anything, and I’ll help. No questions asked.”
My heart flutters. “You’re a nice guy, Cade Maddox.”
“No. I’m really not.”
But he’s just being coy.
I get in the car, and the closed space feeds into a wild and weird tension between us, full of sexual energy. But I pretend it’s not there, and he navigates the car through the Brooklyn streets to my street.
I must have told him the street where I live because he says when he turns onto it, “What number?”
I point it out as he’s near.
And he pulls up.
In a moment of I don’t know what, I throw myself into his arms, hugging him tight, and that dark and dirty church smell, which does untoward things to me, hits my senses, and I breathe it in as I pull back a little.
My gaze locks on his mouth, and no one moves.
I want… I want to kiss him.
He leans in, brushing my hair back, his thumb on the corner of my mouth. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes.”
The air stills.
But it’s full of Cade, and I wonder what he tastes like.
I look away.
He drops his hand. “I should go.”
“You’re all dressed up; do you have a date or something?”
“Or something. I’ll wait until you’re inside.”
I nod and let myself into my building, finding myself racing up the stairs to my studio. There, I hurry to the window.
Cade’s still there. But he seems to somehow sense me inside, and he pulls away, disappearing into the night.
I sit on the edge of my bed, running a finger lightly along the spot he touched.
What the hell was that?
Cade’s a bad, bad idea.
Maybe worse than The Ghost.
Even if he wasn’t Jack’s brother, he’s too old for me. And with him, it’d be real. The Ghost is, and always will be, a fantasy-based, sexual-preference-based relationship. I don’t know a thing about him.
But Cade…
He’s real.
He’s too serious. Too nice.
And that’s the biggest problem if I’m honest with myself.
He thinks I’m nice, too. Unlike Isaac, he’s got no idea what kind of girl I am deep down.
Isaac seemed to see that and figured he could do what he wanted.
If Cade knew, he’d run a mile.
I get ready for sleep.
But as I go to power my phone there’s a message. Not The Ghost. It’s Cade.
Cade
I’m here if you want to talk.
Me
Thanks. I appreciate it. All of it. Enjoy your something.
And then I call Lia and let her know what happened.
“I’d have turned up with half of the lawyers in New York, or at least my whole family. We’d sue his ass to next Sunday.”
That is the last thing I need.
“Thank you, but I got rescued.”
“By whom?”
“Cade.” His name sends a beat of something sweet through me. “And we…I don’t know. I think we had a moment. I sort of wanted to kiss him, and I think he wanted it, too.”
“You should go for it.”
“He’s Jack’s brother.”
“So? Things like that happen. And you’re not seeing anyone else, right? So maybe a date with hot Cade is what you need.”
That’s right. She doesn’t know…
I take a breath. “I’m not exactly seeing anyone, but…remember when you told me to text The Ghost when he sent me his number? We’ve been…in contact. He knows my secrets, I think he’s watching me… and I like it.”
I don’t mention the sex.
“Stalking, you mean?”
I stop myself from telling her everything. She isn’t like me.
“So, what does he look like? Is he hot? I bet he—”
“I haven’t seen him.”
She doesn’t speak.
“Lia?”
“Violet, be careful. I don’t want you taking this too far and getting into something you can’t get out of.”
“You told me to contact him, remember?”
“Text, not be stalked and not know what he looks like. That’s a disaster waiting to happen.”
“It’s not that bad. It’s all pretend, the watching. He isn’t really. We just talk about fantasies. It’s nothing. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Be careful.”
I promise her I will, but it’s a lie. Because I’m addicted.
Tonight didn’t turn me off him or what we do. It just showed me the difference between reality and fantasy. Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but I get to choose who to share that with.
And it’s not Isaac.
With that in mind, I climb into bed.