Chapter 34 August
THIRTY-FOUR
AUGUST
It’s been a week since I’ve spoken to Riley. I’ve kept myself busy with work and family, trying to get out of my head. After I came back to an empty apartment, I took the hint and left.
I’ve also decided to give her space. Maybe she’ll come back around. But I don’t want to be that clingy guy she ran away from. Every day, I think about what happened. Who initiated what? What words were said.
How did we go from becoming close again to this? I’ve lost her all over again and for what? One night of—amazing sex. But it’s more than that for me. I’ve succumbed to her. I’ve always wanted Riley, but now I need her.
Tonight is the first night I’m going to see her since that night. Saying I’m nervous is an understatement. I’m sweating buckets. Anxiety has bothered me all day, and I took a nap to try to make it go away, but it’s still hovering around like an annoying fly.
“Guys, our table is ready,” Rowan calls out to the group, and we follow the hostess.
I’m walking behind everyone while Riley stays up front with Ellie, sticking to her like glue. I’ve caught some glances, but it’s never enough. Not with her. I feel like we’re back at square one.
The table we’re sitting at is long: three chairs on each side and one at each end. Everyone takes a seat without thinking about who they’re sitting next to.
Looks like my luck keeps on giving. I’m sitting at one end of the table, and Riley’s at the other end. Our views are just on each other while everyone else sits beside us.
She looks even more beautiful than the last time I saw her. It feels like months since I’ve seen her, and I’m starved for her. Her wavy hair is touching her shoulders now.
We’re celebrating Ellie’s birthday, and Riley will take any occasion she can get to dress up and make herself feel gorgeous. She’s always gorgeous to me.
After we place our drink orders, I can’t help but look at her one more time, and when I do, my sister is saying something to her. And Riley’s confused expression becomes annoyed.
Ellie rises from her seat and walks to my end of the table.
Shit. Shit. Did Riley tell Ellie about us sleeping together? No. There’s no way. If that were the case, Ellie would have come banging on my door, scolding me.
“I need you to switch seats with me,” Ellie says matter-of-factly.
I blink a few times. “What? Why?”
“I need to speak with James about—wedding stuff.”
My eyebrows pinch, and I scrunch my nose. James is sitting next to me, ignoring this conversation, and scanning the menu. My gaze bounces from him to my sister.
She gestures for me to get up.
“Why can’t Addie do it?” I point to where Addie’s sitting next to James.
“August,” Ellie says through clenched teeth. “Get up. Now.”
I mutter a curse word under my breath, pushing my seat back and standing.
She sits there for a beat before peering back up at me, then shoos me with her hand. “Go on.”
Turning on my heel, I clench my jaw, biting my tongue so I don’t say anything I may regret. She doesn’t need to talk to James about wedding stuff. What exactly is he going to do? Coordinate the flowers?
I tighten my fist from nerves when I pull out the chair Ellie was sitting in and sit next to Riley. We’re close enough that I can smell her perfume. The scent reminds me of strawberry lemonade. Sweet and refreshing. Just like Riley.
What should I do? Do I initiate the conversation? Do I tell her that disappearing after what I thought was a great night hurt my feelings? Or remind her that she’s the first person I’ve slept with in a year?
I don’t feel embarrassed by that. There’s no shame in the fact that I decided not to sleep with anyone for that long. A lot has been going on and sure, I’m a red-blooded man who has needs, but sometimes I was too tired or took care of myself the old-fashion way.
Does she regret it because I haven’t been with someone in so long?
Grabbing the menu, I pretend to look at what I might want, but all I want to do is talk to her, hold her, ask why. I’ll start small.
“How are you doing?” I whisper.
We both keep our attention on the menu in front of us. When I let my gaze fall on her, she bites her lip, contemplation written on her face.
“I’m fine. You?”
“Busy.”
Chatter and silverware clinking fills the room, yet it’s uncomfortably quiet between the two of us. My knee bounces, causing a slight tremble on our side of the table as my elbows lean on it.
“August,” Riley says.
“What?”
“Stop jiggling. You’re moving the table.”
“Sorry,” I mutter.
She lets out a breath, covering her face with her menu, but still visible to me.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, keeping her voice low.
I can either lie or tell her the truth and have an awkward conversation that may or may not be heard around the table. I opt for the lie.
“I’m just dealing with a lot of stuff. The launch for the skateboards is happening soon, so I’m occupied with that.”
Finally, she looks at me, and I swear there’s a shimmer behind her eyes, a twitch at the corner of her lip.
“Really? That’s great. Is your dad excited?”
I nod. “Yeah. My mom is bringing him to the launch. He’ll be in a wheelchair because he’s too weak to walk around, but he’ll be there.”
She beams. “That’s amazing. When is it happening?”
“The third weekend of June.”
“Oh wow, right after our opening.”
“Yeah, Ellie mentioned you guys are shooting to open in two weeks.”
Blowing out a breath through her cheeks, her eyes widen, and her shoulders tense. “Yeah. I’ve practically been living at the bakery. Is this how you felt? At the shop and never leaving? Overloaded with stress?”
I tilt my head back and forth. “Yeah, pretty much. I did ask for your help in the end, didn’t I?
It’s more stressful for you because it’s the beginning stages for you guys.
For me, I just had to learn every detail of everything my dad did.
I should have been doing everything to begin with.
I let my self-esteem get in the way of that. ”
“And now?”
“And now—I’m a lot more confident in my work, thanks to you.”
She shakes her head. “I just helped organize. Everything else is because of you.”
We both go quiet again, and I don’t feel nervous anymore. A bit relieved. But there’s still so much that we need to talk about, and I don’t know when a good time is, considering everything that’s going on.
Maybe I can pull her aside and talk to her privately. Right when I'm about to ask, the waiter comes by, cutting off my thoughts.
For the rest of the night, we’re pulled into different conversations and enjoy our food. After dinner, Riley decides to hang out with Addie after Addie complains she hasn’t seen her in a while.
I don’t know when the next time will be that I can have her to myself. Our busy lives are a priority, but they’re also getting in the way of our communication.
Before we all go our separate ways, Riley sends me a gentle grin my way along with a small wave. I watch her until she disappears around the corner with Addie.