Chapter 41
FORTY-ONE
RILEY
“August.” His rough stubble on my hands is comforting.
Our sadness twists together in a tangled mess, but if I had to be tangled up with someone, it would be with him and no one else. If I need to share my sadness with anyone, it would be with August.
We stare into each other's eyes. Soaking in one another and the emotions we carry for each other.
I hold his face like he held mine at eighteen years old, when he told me he loved me. These past months have been absolute torture. I gave myself to him in the most intimate way, and I've never wanted anything since.
My thumb rubs against his cheek. "That night at your house—I'm so sorry for turning my back on you. I let my fear get in the way again like it did before."
“Don’t apologize. I was a dick. I should be on the floor groveling, begging you to forgive me. I should never have put that pressure on you. I was selfish.”
“You weren’t selfish. You were protecting your heart from being broken again. Do you know how hard it was to leave you alone? Not knowing how you were doing and if you needed me the way I needed you.”
My eyes drift shut, and I slow my breathing down.
The air fills my lungs again, and I don’t feel trapped or scared.
I tell myself that I'm worthy of love. All the feelings I kept pushing down flow through me like endless waves in the ocean.
When I open my eyes, August's lips are still pressed into my palm.
All I need is him. The boy who put his heart on the line for me, and the man who still does to this day.
"I love you, August." My voice comes out small, yet strong at the same time. This is what I want, what I’ve needed to do. “If I need to prove my love to you, then I will. If I need to earn back your trust, I understand. Taking that step with my mom has opened something that I didn’t know was there before. It opened a new path for me. I’d like it if you'd take that path with me.
But I understand if you need to take a step back.
“It’s not fair for what I’ve done to you.
All this stupid back and forth because I couldn’t get a hold of my emotions.
I’m sorry for being scared. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you the night you told me.
I should be the one to grovel on the floor, begging for forgiveness.
You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I can’t see myself without you. You’re my breath of fresh air. I love you.”
Those three words that scared me all these years slip out. Three words that I've never heard my mom say to my dad. But when I say it, it's like a wave crashed into me. Emotions thrum through me: happiness, sadness, relief, and worry.
He scans my face like he doesn't believe me. I don't blame him. Deep down, I know he's never stopped loving me. He let me go only for me to come back to him.
“I've always loved you.” I chew on my lip.
“I was too much of a coward to confront those feelings.
It seemed easier to be alone than risk screwing something up.
I watched my mom tear down my dad, and I didn't want that to happen with us.
Then I realized that that's exactly what I did to you. And I hated myself for that.”
“Riley, you didn’t tear me down.” He looks at me with confusion and speaks softly, carefully, like he’s trying not to scare away a baby bird that needs help.
“You did the very opposite of that. You pushed me to be the best person I can be. Toward my job, with my dad. Why would you think we’d end up like them? "
"Because us... it was just too good to be true. The connection we had." I shake my head. "I never thought in a million years that I’d have something like that with someone. I didn’t think it was possible for me.”
"Hey, look at me. The connection we had—have—is electrifying.
I'm so goddamn lucky to have someone like you in my life.
Not only as a friend, but someone I've come to love.
" His thumbs rub at my wrists. "You, Riley Lewis, are a force to be reckoned with. And I'm willing to take that chance and call you mine for as long as you let me. Finally, you’re done pretending like I’m not the love of your life.” He teases, giving me an eye roll.
I press my lips against his, deep and passionate. My leg pops up like I'm in some romcom where the girl finally gets the guy. He's mine, and I'm his. It feels so right. So exciting.
I was homesick for someone I've never had. Is this what being in love feels like? Like being on some kind of love drug, where you taste colors and see sounds. The high is so good that you're fighting the comedown.
August guides me toward the counter in the bathroom and, in one smooth motion, he lifts me up and sets me down on the cold surface. His hands roam over my body. I let out a whimper at his touch. His fingers brushing down my thigh makes a shiver run through me as his hand pushes between my legs.
"No underwear," he whispers into my neck. "Were you planning on having your way with me, Riley?"
I shudder a breath when he slides his fingers down my clit, then slips two inside me.
"You're so fucking wet."
His fingers pump in and out of me in a rhythm my breath can't quite seem to match. I gasp when his fingers slide deeper, moving in a come here gesture, faster and faster. I cover my mouth, muffling the moan that wants to escape from me.
He kisses my neck and continues to fuck my pussy with his fingers.
"August."
"Yeah, baby?" he says so confidently.
"I need more of you." I rub my hand against his hard length and unbutton his jeans, tugging them down his thighs.
"Spread your legs for me, sunshine."
I do as he says and the silky fabric of my dress rises along my skin. The edge of the sink counter digs into my ass. My head rolls back, eyes closing, as I focus on feeling every inch of him.
"Oh, my god," I say through each breath I take.
"Wrap your legs around me." He grabs my hips, securing me against him.
I'm no longer sitting on the counter as he holds me up to the wall that's connected to it. He starts to thrust into me, stretching me out more and more. At this angle it runs deeper, hitting that sweet spot inside me. My back presses into the cold wall, my breasts bouncing while I ride his cock.
August braces a hand on the wall next to me, his other hand holds me underneath my ass. I couldn't be more thankful than I am now for his capabilities to hold me up. No man has ever fucked me against a wall, and he's done it twice now.
He groans, thrusting faster and faster until I can't control my own breathing. I brace one hand on the wall, and the other digs into his shoulder. He continues to bounce me up and down until I'm practically screaming his name.
The music in the club soundproofs this bathroom, and I let go, moaning loudly.
"I want you to come all over my cock while I fill you up. Can you do that for me?" he says through each sharp breath.
Pound after pound, harder and harder. My eyes squeeze shut, and tears run down my cheeks from the pleasure and love I'm wrapped up in. My nails scrape into the wall even though I know it won't leave a single mark.
My legs burn, and my lungs are tired. “Right there, August. Don't stop. I'm close.”
"Scream my name. Let everyone know you're mine."
I let out a cry, and my toes curl when I reach the edge and fall over.
"Fuck, Riley. I’m not gonna last any longer." His hips jerk, but he forces himself to control his movements, slipping his cock out and setting me down. He bends me over the counter.
I watch him through the mirror as he fucks me from behind. His jaw clenches, the muscles tick, and his eyes squeeze shut.
“One more time for me.” He reaches down between my legs, circling my already sensitive bud.
I inhale a sharp gasp, letting myself go again. This time, he goes with me. Our breathing becomes one. His cock is still in me, still hard, and I love the feeling of him. I love him. And he's mine.
He's actually mine.
Who knew trying to keep a low profile was going to be hard in a small town like Dove Point? Joke’s on me. I should have known better.
After my dying confession of my love to August, we solidified things between us. We’re officially dating. Boyfriend and girlfriend.
We aren’t ready to come out and tell people, and there are plenty of reasons for that. One being that he’s not ready to tell Ellie. I eventually told him about Ellie and her scheming between the two of us, and he admitted that he had an inkling, but thought it was all in his head.
Even so, he just doesn’t feel ready.
Sometimes I’ll go to his house, or he comes to my apartment to spend the night. But his home is becoming cozier by the minute, and I love being there. I love waking up next to him, finding myself trapped in his arms while he buries his face into my neck.
He did end up finding the note he wrote me about getting coffee the morning I went to see Hailey. It was peeking from underneath the couch.
But my favorite times are when he sneaks into the bakery and finds me in my office in the back, working. He’ll bring me lunch, or sometimes he just wants to be with me. We’re at the point in our relationship where all we want to do is cuddle on the couch and watch television.
All the pent-up sexual tension was taken care of, and now we can focus on things outside the bedroom, but we still make sure to keep the sex life healthy and happy.
Sadly, I had to tell him we had to pause for a bit because I haven’t spread my legs as much as I have been lately, and my muscles started to become sore.
But I took that as a good thing.
I spot balloons the closer I get to The Surf Shack. Today is the launch day of the new products they’ll be adding to the store. Skateboards, skate gear. What all that entails, I’m not sure, but I’m excited.
The store is packed, mostly with teenagers and twenty-somethings.
I’ve never seen it this busy, even when I worked here as a teen.
One section of the store is filled with skateboards that hang on the wall.
A glass display in front of it has extra supplies like new wheels, stickers, some sort of wrench thing that I guess is needed for said wheels.
Someone taps on my shoulder, and I turn around and see August.
“Hello, you.” He gives me a quick peck on the cheek.
I giggle and glance around the shop. “People can see us.”
“Everyone already came here earlier. The guys grabbed some gear, my family stopped by when we opened, even though my dad wanted to stay longer. He was tired.”
“So, how’s everything with the new hot item? Is it popular?”
He winces. “I don’t think I bought enough inventory. We’re kind of almost out of skateboards.”
I reach out and touch his arm, rubbing it. “It’s fine. It’s a learning curve now that you’re doing something new like this. You’ll just have to sit down, write up some numbers, and see how much you’ll need in the future. You’ll be just fine.”
“This is why I love you.” He grabs my hips, pulling me closer to him.
“When are you going to tell Ellie about us?” I ask, looking around.
His smile fades. “I don’t know. I’m nervous.”
“Then let me tell her.”
He shakes his head. “No, I need to do it. I just need to wait for the right moment.”
I snort. “Like when? Her wedding?”
“I was thinking about your fiftieth birthday.”
“Shut up.” I tap him on the arm.
“I’ll do it soon, I promise.”
We hear a group of rowdy teenagers enter the store, and August’s chest deflates with a huff.
“Need some help?” I ask.
“Please save me.”