Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
F reya had forgotten what it felt like to be so close to where she had grown up. She’d underestimated how nostalgic it would be for her to see the town and the convent once more, to feel the thrum of life and the sheer mass of people moving around. Poor Nathan, however, seemed utterly overwhelmed.
They sold their horses once they made it to Kinloch, as they wouldn’t be needing them anymore, while they desperately needed the coin. They would have to pay for passage to Castlebay by boat and then from Castlebay to Oban, and Freya knew it would not be cheap, especially for two passengers. Not only that, but they would probably need room and board at some point in their journey—they could hardly spend all their nights in a camp with Nathan still in such a bad state.
Freya made sure to keep close to Nathan’s side. As the days had passed, she had started to feel more and more comfortable with him.
Even if their whole trip was just aimed at him leaving her.
But he he had said they would travel.
Freya wanted that. She wanted some adventure, at least once, after a lifetime of being trapped on the island. Being with Nathan would give her that chance, as she could not do it on her own as a young woman. Were she to travel alone, there would be no end to the questions she would receive and to the danger she would be facing from brigands and men who wouldn’t hesitate to harm her. But traveling with Nathan would solve all that—he could be the protection she needed.
And, if she were to be honest with herself, she had to admit that the thought of traveling with Nathan was attractive. Even if the attraction was only brief or one-sided, she still liked the idea of having him by her side.
Provided, of course, that Nathan didn’t take back his promise once he remembered who he was.
Freya didn’t know what she would do were that to happen. But she also didn’t know if and when it would happen. She hoped they would at least be on the mainland. She could begin a new life there alone—even if it meant that Nathan would only be a fond, distant memory one day.
As they walked, Freya didn’t voice any of these concerns. She and Nathan didn’t head into the village center itself, but rather skirted around the edges until they found the port. The sight of the docks all lined up in a neat row was somehow comforting to her, reminding her of the village she had called home for so long. Would she ever want to go back there again? She had no idea. There certainly wasn’t much waiting for her there. Except for her mother, but she had decided not to visit her, even if it had been a while since she had last been to the convent and it was so close. She did not want to worry her, as she did not know where that trip was taking her. Her mother was becoming more and more removed from the mundane and she thought it best not to disturb her inner peace. She would write her once she knew where that adventure was taking her.
They arrived at a dock and approached the captain of the ship docked there.
“It seems yer port fared far better in the storms than mine did, ” she said as way of greeting before negotiating passage.
The captain looked her over, wondering why a woman would be bothering him, but quickly thought better of his comment when he got a glimpse of Nathan’s expression.
“Aye, well, our docks would need a good deal more wind to knock them down,” the captain said with more than a little bit of pride.
“We’re looking for a ship to carry us to the Highlands, are ye headed that way any time soon?” Nathan interjected. The captain gave him a wary glance and shrugged his shoulder.
“Perhaps. I dinnae take anyone fer free, though,” the captain said.
“Aye, we wouldnae be asking fer charity,” Nathan said on Freya’s behalf. “We will be passengers same as any. I’ll work if ye need it.”
“I might be headed to Castlebay and Oban, but I’m nae leaving fer another three dawns. Have tae finish up repairs on the ship as well as restocking. Unless ye both are in some sort of rush, ye’ll just have tae wait.”
Freya couldn’t imagine the amount of coin that it would take to hurry the captain, but she knew she didn’t have it in the little purse of hers. Even after selling the horses, they couldn’t afford to spend so much on one trip. It would be cheaper to find a room in town and wait out the two days it would take the man to leave.
Nathan turned to Freya, looking for confirmation she would wait, and she nodded.
“And ye’ll pay up front.” The captain added almost as an afterthought. Nathan took half a step toward the man, his face stern.
“And if we dae, what guarantee dae we have that ye will honor our passage?” Nathan asked.
“What dae ye want, a bill of sale? I’m a man of me word, but if ye are doubting me honor…” The man reached for his sword, his expression stern.
Freya stepped between the two, fishing out the coins for their passage and shaking her head. “Nay, we will be here at dawn in three days.”
The captain smirked. It certainly wasn’t the most favorable of situations, but they didn’t have an abundance of options either.
Nathan placed a gentle hand on the small of her back and turned the pair of them away from the docks and back toward the keep. They would need to find lodging, and she didn’t like how light her purse was starting to feel. She certainly did not have enough for two separate rooms.
It didn’t take too long before they located an inn near the port, which seemed clean and decent enough for a couple of nights. As they entered the squat building, Nathan slipped the coin from her hand, and confidently strolled up toward counter. “Me wife and I need lodging fer the night. Dae ye have an available room?”
The lass behind the counter nodded, smiling far too large for a man who had just announced himself as married. He hadn’t even warned Freya before he did it, but she understood why he had. The title didn’t offend her. She had to remember her purpose. And she had to remind herself to not yank him away from the counter as he leaned over and grinned at the woman while he ordered their dinner to be sent up to the room.
When he finally turned back toward her with an iron key in hand, he was still grinning—and she certainly was not.
“Why the sour face, lass?”
Freya couldn’t answer. It wasn’t like she was actually his wife. It wasn’t like she had any right to tell him he was embarrassing her by flirting with another woman right in front of her. So she snatched the key from his hand, turned and headed up the stairs to their room.
She was sorely tempted to slam the door in his face.
“I can tell I have offended ye, but I cannae figure out why,” Nathan said.
It was foolish, but she couldn’t bring herself to answer.
“Ye can have the bed, and I’ll sleep on the floor then,” he offered.
“Dinnae be foolish. I dinnae mean tae make yer condition even worse on account of sleeping on a floor. It’s bad enough ye’ve had tae exhaust yerself,” she huffed softly as she moved to check the fire and make space for them to put their boots to dry. “I’m sure that flirting with the barmaid took a lot out of ye.”
Nathan chuckled, and she could have throttled him for it.
“Is that what ye’re on about?”
Freya didn’t answer but pulled the wool sleeves from her arms and laid them to warm and dry before she started to slip off her boots, not in the mood to talk to him at all.
But he had something else in mind as he grabbed her by the elbow and yanked her back towards him. It was the closest they had been to one another in days, and it stole her breath from her chest. She struggled, attempting to pull away from him because she felt foolish enough without him calling her out on it.
“Lass, I was only getting us a discount fer the room,” Nathan said with a smile too large for her liking.
“I wasnae aware that ye remembered yerself tae be so charming.” Freya pouted, attempting to pull away from him once more. The close proximity to him was getting her flustered, and she knew better.
There was a knock on the door and it was their dinner, so she had no choice but to drop the subject.
But, that night, Nathan lay sleeping in the bed while Freya sat beside him, unable to sleep a wink. All those nights in her house she had slept beside him as it had been too cold for her to sleep in her chair. But now that he wasn’t constantly sleeping day and night, she couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that she was lying next to him—tall and strong.
The room was still plenty warm, but she didn’t dare undress lest he start to think the wrong thing about her. Did it even matter? She noticed that he was warm and clammy as well. Her brow furrowed, turning up the lamp so that she could see the pained look on his face just a touch better. She held the back of her hand against his forehead. How long had he had a fever? Could she check him over as she had before?
Her body hadn’t tingled when she had touched him before, but now…
Slipping from the bed, she got a damp cloth and started to softly pat his forehead, hoping to alleviate whatever he was feeling. Rain started to slowly patter against the glass panes of the window; the sky that had already been dark now somehow felt oppressive. It didn’t take long at all for the rain to build into a storm, one that was bad enough that she was grateful for the roaring fire. In any other situation, she would have been happy to sink into bed, and pull the covers up over her head, but the pain on Nathan’s face was growing deeper, restless as he started to shift.
In all the time she had been healing him, she had never once seen him have a nightmare. She hadn’t seen him show pain, or distress. And now? He looked like he was in the middle of something terrible. The bedding started to twist up around her legs. Despite her best efforts, he was burning up, sweating profusely.
“Dinnae…” he muttered, something about the way he said the word broke something in her. It was laced with pure need and fear, something she didn’t even think a man like him was capable of.
“Dinnae?” She asked his sleeping form as she pushed herself up onto her knees, still trying her best to wipe his forehead. “Dinnae what? Ye are alright.”
“Dinnae leave… Dinnae leave me…” he muttered again, his body twisting toward her. His large arms wrapped around her middle as he buried his head into the lap of her skirts.
Her breath caught.
He was just sleeping; he didn’t mean anything by it.
Softly, she petted his sweat-damp hair. “I’m nae going anywhere. Nathan, I’m right here.”
The words were tumbling from his lips in a constant spiel without end. Over and over again, he muttered the words ‘dinnae leave me’ and nothing she did or cooed in his ear seemed to do anything at all to soothe him in the slightest. She took his hand in her own, squeezing tightly because she couldn’t wake him, she couldn’t seem to do anything at all to make the current situation any better.
Then, in one swift movement, he pulled her down onto the bed, his arms still wrapped around her, his words fewer and far between as he seemed to start to settle down against her. But she was trapped against his body and couldn’t move.
She wasn’t entirely certain that she wanted to. Perhaps she should have fought it more, but with his gentle breath in her ear, the warmth of him and the sounds of the storm in the distance, she was pulled into sleep before she even knew it.