Swerve Chapter 14
It was early when I arrived at Diablo’s house.
Fortunately, he was up. I knocked softly to be sure I didn’t awaken Jauhnna or the kids.
Maybe I should’ve texted to see if he would meet with me at the clubhouse, but it was too late now.
When he didn’t answer, I was about to head back and send him a message for later when the door opened.
He didn’t say a word. He stood back and gestured for me to enter.
“Diablo, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Do you have time to meet with me later? I don’t want to wake up the family.”
“We can go to my office. Jauhnna is awake. The kids are still asleep. Do you want a cup of coffee?”
“I’m good. I had one at the clubhouse.”
He closed the door behind me once I cleared the threshold. As we made our way to his home office, Jauhnna came around the corner. She smiled. “Good morning, Swerve. Let me get you guys some coffee. Honey, do you need anything else?” she asked her man.
Diablo dropped a tender kiss on her mouth. “Yes, I do. We’re good on the coffee front. I’ve had one, and so has Swerve. What you can do for me is go lie down and rest while Chasin and Jaycee are still asleep.” His hand rubbed across her tiny belly.
“If it’ll make you feel better, then I will. It’s good to see you, Swerve.”
“It’s always a pleasure to see you, Jauhnna.”
Her smile lit up the room. She moved off toward the area of the house where the bedrooms were. Along with how Diablo touched her stomach, their tenderness and love made me ache. I wanted that. Or at least the part I knew I could have.
After he closed us inside his office, I floundered over how to start the conversation. Diablo studied me. Knowing I had to say something, I opened my mouth, but he beat me to it.
“I’ve been expecting you.”
His words surprised me. “You have? Why?”
“To talk about Electra and what we’re going to do to get her out of this predicament she’s in. It’s fucking bullshit that her people betrayed her. Her life is in danger due to people breaking their oath.”
“It is bullshit. Do you think Micro can find out who betrayed her?”
“Given enough time, I believe he can, and if not him, then Smoke and Everly can. So we’ve got to get that resolved and the other part, too.”
“What other part?”
“The fact that she’s FBI and can send us to prison if she discovers what we’ve done, and will continue to do. It’s a huge problem when my brother is in love with her and wants to claim her.” My confusion changed to shock.
I opened and closed my mouth like a fish out of water. My head whirled. How did he know that was what I wanted? His stern expression didn’t make me feel good about my chances of that happening. Finally, I sighed.
“Fuck, I don’t know what to say, Pres. I know it’s crazy, and having her near the club puts us in a hazardous situation. The odds of hiding what we do are slim. Even if I could, there’s the guilt of not being totally open with her. You’re right. I’m crazy and fell for her. How did you know?”
“I recognize the signs and the way you look at her and act around her. It’s the same way I was with Jauhnna and Scorpion was with Paige.
We’re possessive, protective, and unable to believe we can be lucky enough to win their hearts.
Hell, I still feel that way about Jauhnna, and it’s been two and a half years since I carried her through the door. ”
I hung my head and shook it. “Christ, you have no idea how much this kills me. I believe she’s attracted to me despite this chair and my limitations, which is a miracle.
Is it enough to completely overlook what it would mean to her life if she were with a man like me?
I don’t know. I was about to talk to her about it when I realized I had to speak to you first. Hell, it’s probably stupid to even think I have a chance with her regardless of the whole FBI issue. ”
“Why is that? You mentioned your limitations. From where I sit, there are a few of them, sure, but not many, and you’re more than the sum of your legs, Swerve. If she’s the woman for you, she’ll know that and not give a damn.”
I gaped at him. “Diablo, I can’t walk. I can’t sweep her off her feet or have sex in any position she wants. Adjustments will have to be made for the rest of our lives. I most likely can’t give her children,” I reminded him.
“You can sweep her off her feet and put her on your lap in those wheels and propel her anywhere you want to go. I’ve seen how you can transfer and do so many things.
Your legs don’t slow you down. Sure, there are a few positions you can’t have sex in, but there are plenty you can.
And the children thing, the doctors said it was unlikely, but not impossible.
If that's the case, you can always adopt. Look at Jaycee. Those are doable if you have love, understanding, and commitment.”
I couldn’t believe the conversation we were having. But no matter what Diablo said, even if everything was true, it still left us with her job.
“I’m glad you have such faith in me, Pres, but it still leaves us with the fact that Electra is an FBI agent.
She enforces the law, and the fact that we hack, hunt, and kill people means she’s the enemy.
If I were the only one at risk, that would be one thing, but it’s everyone here and in the other clubs. ”
“True, that’s a consideration. However, listening to her talk last night about the ones she pursues and who took her friend away from her, she does it more than just as a job. She wants justice and revenge. It’s the same thing we want.”
“Yeah, but it’s different for people like her. She took an oath to uphold the law. We didn’t.”
“True, but think about this. Law and Nyssa in Dublin Falls were cops. Jocelyn and Braelyn in Hunters Creek are lawyers. They took oaths and are required by their professions to see us arrested. Why haven’t they?”
“They, well, I guess they see it differently and know that sometimes, justice can’t be achieved the legal way.
Corruption, lax morals, disinterest, and more affect outcomes, and then there’s plea bargaining and other ways to reduce punishment or, in some cases, get out of it altogether. Or there’s not enough evidence.”
“Exactly. And if they can see and understand that, why do you assume Electra can’t?”
“I guess because I can’t believe I can have it all. My dream of being a Horseman was out of reach for so long, and then there was a miracle, and I was patched in. I’m not going to be lucky enough to have a second one.”
“So, if she loves and wants to be with you, but can’t see the righteousness behind what we do, what is the answer? You’ll give her up? Or give up the club, your family?”
“Fuck, I don’t know! It kills me to think of forfeiting either, but I was able to be without the club for years when I wasn’t a member. I don’t believe I can be without her for the rest of my life if she’ll have me,” I confessed. Before Diablo could say more, I added more.
“Scorpion warned me that even if all the others could forgive her spying on us and believe she wouldn’t betray our secrets, you wouldn’t be able to do it.
And I understand why. Given what you survived, you have every reason not to trust. Which is why, if she’ll have me, I’ll remove the risk to the club.
I hope that I can remain friends with everyone like it was before, as long as I don’t have knowledge and involvement in the club’s dealings. ”
Diablo stood and moved to the window overlooking the yard. His back was to me. I steeled myself for his condemnation. I hated the idea of it. He was someone I’d looked up to since I was a kid.
“We would never kick you out of our family, Tiago. And I know I speak for everyone when I say we don’t want you to leave the club.
Scorpion is right that trust is hard for me.
But over these past several years, since Brooklyn met Torch and we’ve become close to the other clubs and the Dark Patriots, I’ve tried to loosen up.
Finding Jauhnna has helped, too, in some ways.
“We can speculate all day, but until you sit down and have a deep discussion with her and know if she has the same kind of feelings for you, and is willing to see alternate viewpoints, then it’s nothing but guesswork.
You don’t need to tell her what we’ve done.
You’re smart. You can ask her hypothetical questions. ”
“You’re right, I can. And I will. However, I may need to wait a few days first. She’s running a fever.
Her wound is infected, and Wolverine and Paige are putting her on an IV and specific wound care to put a stop to it.
I’m gonna use that as the excuse not to have Boone run off with her.
He’s determined to get her away and hidden, but I think it’s a mistake.
He doesn’t know whom he can trust, making it just the two of them.
With us, he has not just our club but potentially others. ”
“I have another call that I need to make this morning. It may help accomplish that. Please don’t make any final decisions until I’ve had a chance to gather more information. Was there more you wanted to talk over?”
“No, I think that was it. Thanks for listening to me, or I guess, for making it easier since you guessed most of it. I’ll wait to hear from you.
In the meantime, I’ll see if I can determine what her feelings are for me.
If it’s mere sexual attraction or curiosity, I’m not willing to change my life for something fleeting and empty. ”
“Sounds like a plan. But I don’t see her being fickle or shallow. Now, if that’s all, I’ll let you go and I’ll get to work making phone calls.”
Diablo came over, and I held out my hand.
We shook hands, then he escorted me to the front door.
Pushing myself over to the clubhouse, I continued to formulate my points and arguments for my talk with Electra.
I was filled with mixed feelings of anxiety and excitement.
Boone better have gone back to his room so she and I could talk.