14. Off to the Races
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
off to the races
IMOGEN
“Roman, that pork roast recipe you sent me? Turned out perfect.”
My brother’s carrying a massive tray covered with one of those ornate silver lids that he bought at some estate sale. Everything in his kitchen is some level of vintage; he said it should be illegal to pay $500 for a stand mixer, so he bought one from a woman who was selling everything in her house, appliances included. The only exception is his toaster; he was so excited he bought it brand new because it’s shaped like a rocket ship.
“Tadaaaa!”
He sets the tray down on the table and unveils the most tender looking pork roast I’ve ever seen. It’s honestly kind of shocking.
Roman whistles, clearly in agreement.
“Looks good, Flynn. Nice job with the presentation.”
Logan takes a little bow before easing into the seat next to Abi.
“Dig in everyone!”
Just as we start loading up our plates, Roman and I brush fingers, the two of us reaching for the mashed potatoes at the same time. Of course, when we got to the table, the only seats left were right next to each other. My face burns in embarrassment, but he only chuckles.
“Great minds, huh?”
“Well, it’s Logan’s famous garlic mashed potatoes after all. You’ve gotta be quick if you even want one helping,” I reply with a grin. “You go first.”
“No, it’s?—”
“You’re the guest, I insist.”
This whole thing is starting to feel like a cruel joke, but I can handle this. We did great keeping things under wraps in the living room, aside from that little bit of teasing. I really can’t help it, though, it’s kind of addicting to mess with him; he does this thing where he rubs the back of his neck when he’s all bashful.
Roman flashes me a smile, grabbing a big scoop of potatoes before passing me the bowl.
“You know, I actually gave your brother that recipe too.”
“I know,” I murmur, loading my plate up before passing the bowl down the line. “He told me that dirty secret this afternoon when he was prepping the food.”
“Yeah? What else did he tell you?”
“Oh, just that you might be bringing a girlfriend,” I tease.
Roman’s eyes widen, but Logan clangs his fork against his wine glass, getting to his feet before he can say anything.
He looks so much like dad in this light, with his dorky little sweater and his mussed up sandy hair. My dad was big on family dinners and making sure that we all connected at least once a day over a good meal. Over the years Logan’s taken some of his traditions on for himself.
It’s a way of grieving.
Mine is crying in BDSM clubs because I’ve been avoiding my feelings everywhere else in my life. Not sure which is more healthy.
“Thank you all for coming tonight. I started these faculty dinners as a way for us to connect outside of work. Now, instead of complaining about the administration during department meetings, we can do it over a good meal and a lot of alcohol.” He gestures to Roman with his glass. “I’m sure you’ve all noticed Dr. Burke’s missed a couple of these over the last two years.”
Roman looks a little nervous and reaches for his drink, taking a big sip.
“Well, I’m sure Logan’s more than made up for my sparkling wit.”
“Not quite,” Logan replies with a grin. “But it’s really good to see you back, man.”
Roman forces a smile, and I can tell he wants to be anywhere in the world but this party. I don’t blame him. If I had it my way, I’d be upstairs in that big clawfoot tub with a bottle of wine and a romance novel. That’s the ideal way to spend a Friday.
“I’d also like to welcome my sister and brilliant scholar, Imogen Flynn. She’ll be attending these for the next four to seven years.” He winks at me. “It’s too late to back out, by the way.”
I make an exaggerated roll of my eyes as laughter fills the room.
“There’s plenty more food in the kitchen, plenty more wine, and after this… how do we all feel about karaoke in the backyard?”
“Are you going to serenade us all with Endless Love again?” Frankie smirks.
“Yeah, we can duet,” Logan replies. “I know how much you’ve been itching to get back on the microphone.”
More laughter ripples through the room as Logan eases back down into his seat. Roman leans over, gently bumping my knee with his. Everyone around us is swallowed up in conversation, and I take the opportunity to stare back into his intense gaze.
“I had to tell them I was sort of seeing someone because, well…”
His voice is barely above a whisper.
“It’s cool. Did you think I was mad?”
“No, I was just afraid it would be weird.”
“Well, I mean it is.” I flash him a quick little smile. “This whole situation is weird.”
“You’re tellin’ me, darl—” He winces. “Sorry.”
I swallow hard and look down at my plate, suddenly wondering how I’m going to choke all of this down. It looks delicious, but with Roman next to me, I’m feeling too nervous to eat. This was a bad idea. That fucking nickname still gets to me.
I wonder what it’ll feel like when these gooey, giddy feelings I have for him finally fade away. God, I can’t wait for that day.
“So, how are you enjoying Emerald Bay so far, Imogen?”
Abi’s voice startles me, but it somehow manages to cut through the awkwardness. More importantly, it’s something completely removed from Roman that I can focus on.
“I haven’t really had the chance to see it. I’ve just been so busy, you know? New school, lots of work, still getting settled.”
“You went to Seattle though, right?” Logan asks.
Roman visibly bristles beside me, covering it up with a sip of his wine. I clear my throat, trying to remember what lie I told Logan so that he’d let me borrow his car with as little fuss as possible.
“Yeah, just to hang out.”
Smooth. Real smooth.
“What band did you see again?” He asks.
I swallow hard, the blood roaring in my head. As I shift in my seat, my foot accidentally bumps against Roman’s, my heart skipping a beat. I swear, the universe is trying to get the two of us caught.
“Uh… The Commandos or something?” I laugh. “I don’t really— it’s Piper and Jay’s thing, I was just kind of there.”
“Oh, I thought you said you had a great time.” Logan frowns.
As much as I love my brother, right now all I want him to do is shut up.
“Yeah, it was cool,” I reply, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’ve never really been to Seattle before, so… you know, it was fun. I’d like to— uh, stay for longer, actually.”
“All of us should go!” Logan suggests, nudging Abi. “There’s this really cool board game bar! Oh, they have a mini golf course called Lucky Strokes?—”
Roman starts to choke, covering his mouth and turning off to the side.
“It’s the name, isn’t it?” Logan laughs as Roman gasps for air.
Abi looks concerned, but Roman shakes his head, holding out a hand to keep her from standing up.
“I’m good, Abi.” He clears his throat. “Wrong pipe, and poor timing on Flynn’s part.”
“Or perfect timing!” Logan chuckles. “You okay there, champ?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Roman rasps. “Just… how about you try not to accidentally kill me again, okay?”
Logan raises his glass, everything returning to normal, but all I can think is that I’ve got to get the fuck out of this house. I wish Piper was here right now. If she was, she’d find some excuse to get me out of this dining room before I make an Imogen shaped hole in my brother’s wall.
Now, I’m eating to distract myself, despite the bubbling in my gut. I can barely taste the food, but I need something to take my mind off of Roman, off my brother, and off of this entire circus.
“So, how are your classes going, Imogen?” Roman asks, trying to act normal.
“Uh, good. I’m only taking two?—”
“’That’s plenty,” he assures me. “Especially with the workload. Two PhD courses is closer to four, especially with Abi teaching one of them.”
Abi holds up both hands in mock-defense.
“Hey, Frankie’s the one who said I needed to amend the syllabus! I think his exact words were: it wouldn’t be grad school without a little suffering. ”
“It’s really not that bad,” I laugh. “I don’t feel like I’m drowning in work yet, but I’m sure that’ll come soon enough.”
Abi winks at me, giving a reassuring nod. She’s close to my age, and to see someone as young as her already teaching graduate courses is inspiring. It makes me want to work harder.
“That’s great to hear.” Logan says, sounding relieved. “And I’m glad this whole thing between you and Roman is working out, too.”
A rush of electricity shoots down my spine as my mind flashes back to that hotel room. The moans that filled it, the smell of sweat and sex that made me feel like I was drunk, and his filthy brand of sweetness as he fucked me.
“Yeah, he’s teaching me a lot,” I reply as Roman clears his throat, clearly desperate to shift the subject back to safer territory.
“You went to NYU before this, right?” He asks.
“Yeah. Didn’t get into their PhD program, though,” I chuckle. “Or Dartmouth. Or Princeton.”
Abi nods.
“Those are good schools. Tough competition.”
“Yeah, you’re telling me.”
Roman’s foot is still touching mine. Do I move it? Do I leave it there? Why isn’t he pulling his foot away?
“But I really like EBU, and Emerald Bay is cool. What I’ve seen of it, at least. I’m hoping to do some more exploring this week.”
“There’s great hiking,” Roman says softly. “It’s really beautiful around the bay. During the summer, the reflection from the trees makes the water look green— hence the nickname.”
“Hiking, I’ll look into it,” I murmur. “Thanks.”
He flashes me an awkward smile as Abi refills her wine glass. I can hear my brother’s boisterous laughter as he leans away, chatting with another faculty member. He’s barely touched his meal.
The Flynns are easily distracted.
Roman gives me a look, silently asking me if I want to move, but I ignore him as Abi lobs another question.
“It must be a big adjustment to go from living in New York to being here.”
God bless her, this dinner would be physically painful without her here.
“It is. It’s really quiet here. My first night, I kept waking up and thinking it was weird that I didn’t hear horns honking or people screaming. And now I can’t believe I used to sleep with all that noise going on.”
After a while, it all started to sound like radio static. Unless someone was screaming right outside my bedroom window, I could fall asleep to pretty much anything.
“I did my PhD in Toronto,” Abi chuckles. “Back in Canada. It’s the same thing there, constant noise from the street. It’s been bizarre to actually live in a place that’s calm and quiet.”
“It’s amazing what you get used to,” I sigh, noticing my foot bumping up against Roman’s again. I’ve probably been doing it for the past five minutes and haven’t even noticed.
I’m like a live wire, all of my adrenaline pumping as hard as it can, and I need to calm down. I let myself fade into the background as Frankie cuts in and the two of them carry on the conversation about Toronto, giving me a brief breather from the questions.
I glance over at Roman and he looks like he’s in agony, but I can’t help but notice he never pulled back his leg. I feel like we’re playing some weird fucking game of chicken, and before long I begin to notice people clearing their plates. He clearly does as well, because he immediately takes the opportunity to lean in close.
“Are you trying to rile me up?”
Roman’s voice is low and gravelly, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
“What are you talking about?”
“The bar, the foot thing?—”
“To be fair, you never moved your foot either.”
His eyes dart around, and he looks like he wants to say something more but can’t find the right words. Or maybe it’s the right opportunity he’s been waiting for.
“So, are we all finished?” Logan’s voice cuts through the room as he looks around at the rest of us.
“Why? You got an itinerary for the evening?” Frankie shoots back.
“Duh!” Logan points toward the back of the house. “Backyard karaoke! It’s the last time I’m going to get to use that patio furniture until next summer!”
There are a few groans around the table, the loudest ones from Frankie and Roman, but all I see is a perfect excuse to get out of the dining room.
“Logan?” I stand up, noticing that Roman’s staring directly at my legs, eyes tracing my tattoos. I tug my dress down and smile. “The cupcakes?—”
“Iggy, you have to sing!”
“I will, but we still have dessert, remember?”
“Okay, okay,” he sighs. “Abi, Frankie, Roman? You wanna help me set things up?”
“Yeah.” Roman gets to his feet as I start stacking plates. “Sounds great.”
Thank god.
I’ll finally get a fucking breather away from that man.