50. End of Beginning
CHAPTER FIFTY
end of beginning
IMOGEN
EMERALD BAY, WASHINGTON
FEbrUARY
I groan and stretch myself out, waking to the sound of rain pattering against the window, and lift my head to look around a still-unfamiliar bedroom, packed with boxes. Roman and I moved into a cute little rancher by the bay yesterday, and my body still aches after lugging everything from the moving van into the house. Thankfully, it wasn’t just the two of us; Logan, Frankie, and Jay helped move furniture while Piper and Abi made sure that each box was labeled and went into the right places.
The house has two bedrooms and one and a half bathrooms, and we even have a porch and a hammock where I can read and write papers in the sunshine. It’s admittedly a bit of a downgrade from Logan’s ridiculous mini-mansion, but it’s a big step up from my apartment back in New York. Even Mitzy’s got a backyard and more space to nap in.
I roll over to find the dog fast asleep on Roman’s pillow, a soft snore emanating from her muscular little body, and I stifle a giggle, grabbing my phone and snapping a quick picture. She’s exhausted after we took her down to the bay last night to play fetch.
“You’re so cute.”
That’s when the smell of fresh coffee hits me, truly waking me up. I can hear music playing in the kitchen, creeping its way into the hallway, only slightly muffled by the door.
Roman and his dad rock.
As much as I want to stay in bed, the urge to get to work on the new house overwhelms me. I pad into the kitchen, carefully weaving around boxes before finding him at the stove, dressed in a white tank top and a pair of sweats while flipping pancakes. I lean against the doorframe for a second, watching him as he bops around to the music blasting from his phone.
“Morning, cowboy.”
He abandons his spatula, immediately turning around with a big grin.
“Morning, darlin’. How’d you sleep?”
“Really fucking good,” I laugh. “And I’m ready to get this place cleaned up for the party.”
“Oh! That reminds me!” Roman waves me over to a notebook he has laid out on the counter. “I planned a whole menu for tonight. Roasted duck, potatoes, brussels sprouts— would you believe it, I didn’t know it was brussels until I Googled it?”
“I’ve been up for 6 minutes and already learned something new. You’ve still got it, professor.”
He smirks and flips the page.
“And for dessert… your dad’s cheesecake.”
Roman’s been working his ass off in culinary school. Late nights, early mornings, and he’s bone tired when he comes home. But everyone says they’ve never seen him this full of life before. Logan even gave him a couple of my dad’s recipes to try out for the party.
On my end, I took a few days off from my course work so that we could finish the move and celebrate. I’m thriving at UW, and I’m even working on my second publication for a journal. Finally, it feels like everything’s worked out the way it’s supposed to.
“You wanna unpack after breakfast?” He asks.
“Yeah, and I can watch you swear while you put furniture together,” I giggle, rubbing my nose against his.
Roman wraps his arms around me, kissing my forehead. He’s been a big help, still using all of that knowledge of theory and practice to let me bounce academic ideas off him.
When we have weekends off, we’ve been going to kink clubs and trying everything . Roman’s ended up being a natural dom, perfectly balancing his intrinsic thoughtfulness with power and degradation. And the best part is, he’s more than happy to switch it up even halfway through a scene.
“I have something for you,” he murmurs, stepping back and reaching into his pocket.
“What is it?”
He opens his hand to reveal a small silver claddagh ring nestled in the middle of his palm. My jaw hits the floor, and he smiles at my reaction.
“I found this in a little vintage shop in Seattle and thought it would be perfect.” He swallows, still a little nervous. “Now, this isn’t an engagement ring, but it is a promise… that when we’re both ready, I want us to spend the rest of our lives together.”
“You know, that actually does sound a lot like a proposal.”
He grins, giving me a little shrug.
“Maybe it’s a microscopic proposal. You make me feel like I’m home no matter where I am, Imogen, and I want that to be clear every single day.”
I laugh, covering my mouth with one hand as tears start to stream down my face.
“So? Will you marry me? Sooner or later?” He asks, taking my hand and linking his fingers with mine.
“Yes.”
Roman beams as the word slips past my lips so effortlessly, sliding the ring onto my finger. It fits perfectly, and I let out something in between a laugh and a sob as I wrap my arms around him.
“You’re my universe, darlin’.”
I sniffle, giggling as I nuzzle into his neck.
“Right back atcha, cowboy.”
We opted for a small party with the people closest to us, the people we’ve chosen as our little family here in Emerald Bay. Maybe that’s why our housewarming party went from extremely classy to smoking weed on the porch in less than an hour.
I’m stuffed from dinner, curled up on the couch as a spectator while Logan, Roman, and Frankie play Twister on the floor. Mitzy’s been sniffing around them the entire time, taking the opportunity to get a lick every few minutes.
“Hey, dog interference!” Logan laughs as she slobbers up his bare arm. “Why are you doing this to me, don’t you want me to win?!”
“I think it’s the gravy you spilled all over yourself at dinner,” Roman teases.
“Okay, everyone shut up! Left foot green, Logan, and watch the knees!”
Abi’s shouting instructions from the safety of her seat as my brother twists himself up like a pretzel, trying to reach the circle. Notably, with his right foot.
“Wrong foot, Logan, god you’re useless!” Frankie shouts from his own position on the mat.
Abi snorts, rolling her eyes at the display.
“A whole PhD and he doesn’t know right from left.”
“Hey, when you’re in the trenches, you can offer critique!” Logan barks, his beer almost tipping over in his hand. “Until then, I really don’t want to hear from the audience, okay?”
Piper smacks the ground in frustration in a somewhat futile attempt to referee the chaos.
“Hey, Logan, get your foot back on that circle!”
She’s crouched down next to the mat, glass of wine in hand as she watches with intensity. She made the call very early on that it’d be her job to make sure nobody cheats, and she’s been taking it very seriously.
“God, why is everyone teaming up against me?” Logan whines.
He lets out a grunt of effort, finally managing to contort himself into the correct position, his ass ending up right next to Frankie’s face.
“Dude, if you fart on me, I swear to god I’ll fire you.”
“I made sure to have extra brussels sprouts at dinner,” Logan warns. “And, you know what? I think I can feel a pretty good one coming…”
“Don’t you dare!” Frankie roars.
Abi and I howl with laughter from the sidelines as Roman collapses onto the mat, tears streaming down his face.
“Eliminated by a fart joke, Burke? You’re a fuckin’ amateur!” Frankie bellows.
Roman is bright red, crawling toward me with his beer somehow still in hand.
“You did pretty well for yourself.”
“Yeah, tell that to my back tomorrow morning,” he grumbles, plopping himself down next to me.
“I’m sure I could give you a little spinal adjustment,” I purr, leaning over to nip at his earlobe.
“Hey! PDA! There are children present!”
Frankie’s pointing straight at Mitzy, his face deadly serious until Piper chimes in.
“Frankie Hughs, you get your hand back on that circle or I swear to god!”
“I got ten that Frankie’s gonna lose,” Roman announces, slapping a bill down on our little coffee table.
“Don’t make me put you in a home!” Frankie barks. “I’m the sure-thing to win this and you all know it!”
Abi cackles, spinning the little wheel with a flick of her finger.
“Left foot, blue!”
Logan and Frankie look around in a panic. There’s only one blue circle close by, and they both go for it at the same time, each trying to kick the other out of the way.
“I was here first!” Logan shouts.
“No, you weren’t!”
Suddenly, the door opens and Jay steps outside, hunched over as pot smoke billows behind him. He’s holding his phone up, aiming it squarely at Frankie and Logan.
“Two nerds, one heated competition…” He announces, creeping toward them like a ghoul. “And there can only be one victor.”
“Get that camera out of my face!” Logan shouts.
Frankie takes the moment to give Logan a shove, knocking him onto his side and quickly jumping to his feet in celebration.
“Yes! Twister champ of 2025! Right here, baby!”
“Boo!” Roman bellows. “Boo! Cheater!”
Frankie ignores him, making a big show out of kissing his biceps.
“So, what do I win?”
“You win the right to clean up the game and pick the next one,” Abi says with a smirk.
“What?” Frankie groans. “This sucks. I was hoping for money.”
“Sometimes it sucks to win!” Jay shouts.
“Yeah, yeah.” Frankie waves him off. “Make yourself useful and go get me some more board games. Take Logan with you, he knows all the good ones.”
I look around, my chest warm as Roman wraps his arm around me. A couple of months ago, it felt like the world was ending and now we’re here, in our house playing board games with our friends.
“You know what? I think this is the first party I’ve thrown in years,” Roman chuckles.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh this much,” Frankie replies, looking around the backyard as he boxes up the Twister mat. “The place looks great, by the way.”
“The decor is all Imogen’s handiwork,” Roman replies, nudging me gently with his elbow.
“And how’s UW treating you? I don’t have to crack any skulls, do I?”
“No, it’s good,” I reply. “Really good. I’m actually submitting a paper for publication next week.”
It was awkward for Frankie and I to get over that one big hurdle at the beginning. He never really got to know me, and then suddenly he had to crack down hard on the both of us after we got caught. I think he was probably worried that I’d hold a grudge, but it just didn’t work out like that. I see him pretty much every weekend now, either at the Hi-Dive or at my brother’s for Sunday dinner, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“That’s great. I’m really happy for you.” He smiles. “Both of you.”
Logan and Jay emerge from the house, arms stacked full of games. As the conversation shifts into what we’re going to play next, I spot Mitzy pawing at the back gate, and turn to Piper, tapping her arm.
“Time to take the dog for a stroll, you wanna come?”
“Sure! Maybe it’ll help me digest all of this damn food.”
I help her to her feet, grabbing the leash that’s hanging near the back door.
“Mitzy’s restless, I’m just gonna take her for a stroll.”
“Don’t be too long!” Roman calls, as I clip Mitzy’s leash to her collar. “Or I’ll have to get Frankie to bust out Trivial Pursuit to kill the time!”
We head out the back gate, wandering down a small path that leads right to the bay. The air is crisp and cool, and I smile at the sound of the water lapping against the shore. It was the selling point for me when Roman and I were first looking for houses.
“God, this is nice,” Piper murmurs. “You guys sure picked a great spot.”
I let Mitzy off her leash so she can roll in the grass, the stars twinkling above us adding even more to the atmosphere.
“Your dad would be proud of you, you know.” Piper wraps an arm around me, hugging me tight. “You’ve made a beautiful life for yourself, Iggy.”
I’ve never really believed in an afterlife. I always thought that the life we were given is the real gift, and what we create here and now is what matters.
“I miss him,” I whisper, a tear trickling down my cheek.
She squeezes me tighter, and I rest my head on her shoulder as I take in the glittering stars and the smell of incoming rain.
“I think he would have loved it here.”
Dealing with loss is a never ending process, and in some ways, it will always be a shadow in our lives. I’ve learned that the trick is to give it space to transform into something beautiful.
I’ve made peace with the fact that my dad will never walk me down the aisle, that he’ll never hold his grandchildren. But he’ll be here, in stardust and atoms, and in the stories that we tell about him. The people we’ve loved and lost become faded memories to some, but it’s up to us to carry their torch.
This is the life I’ve always wanted to build for myself, and now that it’s right in front of me, I’m not letting it slip through my fingers.
THE END