Chapter 14
Switch
“You are such a liar,” Joy accuses. “Look at this bad haircut, check out these teeth,” she says in a whiney, high pitched voice.
“All I’m seeing is younger versions of you and each of them is good looking.
How?” I fall back on my bed as laughter bursts out of me.
“No, like seriously Reid. My teeth were so bad in primary school, so sticky outy that I could have probably eaten an apple through a chain link fence the way those suckers stuck straight out.” She huffs and I laugh even more.
My girl is fucking funny now that she’s more comfortable with herself.
And me. I don’t know whether it’s because we’re out of Rose Grove and all the memories she had with her shit head ex, or whether it’s because she knows she’s safe and she can be free to be herself.
Whatever it is, it looks fucking great on her.
“OK, OK, what about this one?”
I pull out the one photo of me that I hate with a vengeance.
It’s one that I always hide in a pocket at the back of the photo album.
Momma loves it, but it’s the worst picture of me in existence.
I gingerly hold it out to Joy who takes it from me almost reverently.
She takes a shaky breath before turning it over in her hands.
Her brows fly to her hair line, eyes wide before a smile tips her lips.
Then a grin. Then she’s beaming as she throws her head back and bursts into loud, snorting laughter.
She slaps a hand over her mouth but the damage has been done because now I’m flopped down on the bed roaring beside her, the photo of me with a Joe Dirt mullet, a missing front tooth and a donkey smiling beside me lies forgotten on the comforter by her slim thigh.
“This! This is what I was looking for!” She snorts again, setting off another round of giggles.
I lay there on my side, head resting on my bicep as I watch her tiny body shuddering with laughter, all curled up on her side. She huffs out one last giggle and her dark eyes meet my gaze, her face alight with joy and it’s so fucking beautiful that I almost can’t stand to look at her.
“What?” she asks shyly, gaze bouncing around my face.
I take a deep breath, before exhaling on a smile. “You’re just so fucking beautiful, Joy. Happy, confident, strong. It’s like every day with you I see a new piece of you.”
Her smile falters a little, a blush growing on her cheeks. “It’s because of you,” she whispers low, almost so low I might have missed it. “I want to be happy, and strong and confident for you. It’s, it’s what you deserve.”
“Baby, it’s what you deserve. I just hope I can be part of it.”
“You are,” Joy says with such force that it shocks me.
“You are the reason I’m here. I have friends.
People who would care if something were to happen to me.
People who are proud of me. And I like that.
I like it so much that I want to keep growing and doing better, not just for them, but for Kit and myself too.
And it’s all because of you. Without you, I wouldn't be here.” She stares at me, her cheek smooshed against her hand much like mine is probably smooshed against my bicep.
Squeezing her eyes shut, her little nose crinkled she whispers, “Just do it,” before blinking across at me.
“I want to be with you Reid. I want you in my life and I want to kiss you, m-make love to you, but I want to be a little bit stronger. For me. I, I don’t know how long that will take -”
“I’ll wait. No matter how long it takes, Joy. I’ll wait.” I cup her small face with my hand, gently brushing my thumb across her plump cheek. “You and Kit are it for me.”
The smile she gifts me makes my chest ache, but not as much as when her smile falters and she leans closer, so close her breath fans my face.
So close her nose brushes mine. So close her soft lips press against mine in a kiss that fucking devastates me, rocks me to my core.
She pulls back slightly but I’m a greedy motherfucker and before I can stop myself my fingers tangle into the hair at the back of her head, cupping her there, holding her steady as I press my lips to hers once more, gently licking the seam of her lips, tasting her.
Her little moan goes straight to my dick as her lips part and the tip of her tongue touches mine, tasting me before I pull back, drunk off Joy, my woman.
“Wow,” she whispers, touching her fingers to her lips.
“Wow is right,” I press a kiss to the tip of her nose and she huffs out a giggle, before shyly snuggling closer, burying her nose into the crook of my neck.
“How long will you be gone?” Joy asks in a small voice, burrowing closer.
“We leave early morning, should be back tomorrow night. It’s a quick trip to see an old friend who may be of assistance,” I tell her gently. I can’t tell her everything as she’s not an Ol Lady. Yet.
She lets out a long breath, her face buried into my shoulder. “I know you need to do this to help not only me and Kit, but all those other people who are being taken and sold. But still, it scares the hell outta me and makes me want to crap my pants.”
A laugh bursts out of me and I cuddle her closer, “I know it’s scary, babe, but we have a lot of people on our side. And at least three crazy people.” I press a kiss to the top of her head.
“Only three?”
“Ha. Ha. That’s my family you’re talking about.”
She picks at my Henley. “I’m hoping they’ll be mine one day.”
“They already are, babe. Once this bunch lets you in? You ain’t going anywhere.”
“Good,” she says before peeking up at me. “I can’t wait for this to all be over and we can start living our lives again.”
“Going to work together,” I tease, “getting diarrhea together, surviving Pops and his great ideas together -”
“Sounds perfect.” She sighs dreamily. “Let’s go to sleep so you can leave tomorrow, fix everything, get back here and we can start living our lives.”
“Sure thing, bossy boots.”
Joy rolls her big, brown eyes and I watch as her long lashes flutter to rest on her cheeks. I take that as my cue, closing my eyes and drifting off with a fucking smile plastered on my face.
Joy
“It’s going to be alright, love,” Reid’s mom soothes as she throws a supportive arm over my shoulder.
In some ways it does make me feel a little better. I don’t remember much of my mom, but I would like to hope she was as nurturing as the women I have around me.
“When will Mr. Switch be back, Mommy?” Kit asks, still waving at Reid and some of the other men as they ride away from us, their pipes splitting the early morning air.
From what I could understand Niko, Pops, and Wire from the DRMC are staying here along with Flack and Chef from the Keep.
The rest of the men have split up with Reid’s bunch going to New Orleans to talk to a good friend who may be of some help, with the others headed to Rose Grove to check in on Marx.
“Not too long, baby. But in the meantime we get to stay here with Switch’s family and you get to play with all your new friends,” I soothe, running a hand down her red waves.
The Big Littles wave Kit in their direction and she takes off without saying goodbye. Not even a second glance over her shoulder at her mother who is barely holding it together.
“Do you know what you need?” Chewy asks before making a weird noise as she drains the last of her Capri Sun. “You need a girls’ day.”
“No girls’ days!” Gallows barks from his spot in the driveway watching the last of the men leave.
“Um, I’m not so sure -”
“Trust me Joy, I got this.” Chewy nods once, hands me her empty pouch and beelines for Pops.
“I think a girls’ day sounds like a wonderful idea!” Reid’s mom says.
“I’m in!” Reid’s sister adds, hand in the air.
Gallows rolls his eyes but even Mercy looks somewhat interested.
Since she arrived yesterday I’ve not seen too much emotion from her.
Reid said she was ex military, and I guess you have to be a certain level of tough to not only survive that lifestyle, but to also become VP of a 1% motorcycle club.
I’m still not too sure what the difference is between the Saints Outlaws and the DRMC, but whatever it is doesn't bother me. I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with the DRMC and their various friends and families.
I take a deep breath in, and then let it out shakily.
Reid will be fine. The DRMC will be fine.
“Do you want to come sit with me, Joy?” Reid’s momma asks, tipping her head toward the two rockers on the porch.
Well, the two rockers nestled between a variety of benches and chairs.
It seems that the Manning family enjoys the outdoors.
Not that I’m complaining, from the porch I’ll be able to see Kit and the rest of the kids.
I may be a better version of myself than I was two short months ago, but I still fear a lot of things.
The one that plays most on my mind is losing my daughter.
She is the only thing that keeps me moving forward some days, and the thought that there are people out there who want to take her from me makes me not only shake with fear, but with rage.
“Sit, sweetheart.”
Reid’s momma gently pushes at my shoulders until the backs of my legs hit the chair behind me and I sit, the poofy, gingham cushion hugging me from behind.
“Did Reid tell you much about me, Joy?”
I tilt my head toward Reid’s momma and realize I don’t know her name. My cheeks heat as I take in her warm smile. “I’m so sorry, I’m just not sure what to call you. Reid just calls you ‘Momma’, he never told me what your name was.”
She smiles gently before waving a hand in my direction, “Most people call me Momma, but I know you have a Mama Debs, I don’t want to complicate things.”
“Oh, no, it’s OK. I like it.” I give her a small smile as I try out the word on my tongue, “Momma.”
She beams, then nods as Willa joins us, plopping down in an empty seat. I haven’t seen much of her since we arrived, but I figured she was busy with Mad Dog. Or busy being mad at Mad Dog.
“Are you OK, Willa?” I ask, brows furrowed.
She lets out a huff, her eyes on the treeline. “Pissed. I didn’t do all this work on myself to then let another bossy bastard tell me what to do.”
“And yet, here you are,” Momma smirks as Willa lets out a little huff.
Loyal from the Keep smiles at us as she slowly makes her way up the steps. “Mind if I sit?”
Momma smiles and pats the seat next to hers, her knowing gaze landing on each of us.
“Do you know what brought me out here? To the middle of nowhere?” Momma asks.
“I’m guessing it wasn’t the peace and quiet,” Willa mumbles, waving toward the kids yelling in the front yard.
Momma lets out a bark of laughter, eyes dancing. “It’s perfect. The noise is perfect.” One of Reid’s nephews calls out to her to watch something. We all turn to watch him attempt to do a flip.
“Was it meant to look like that?” Chewy asks, brows furrowed before shaking her head and walking away.
Momma shakes her head, a smile playing on her lips.
“It wasn’t always like this, out here. It was a sanctuary to me.
” Loyal places a hand on Momma’s, patting it gently.
“When my Rich found me, it was out there, on the road.” She nods toward the driveway.
“I was beaten all to hell. But worse still, I was broken. Inside and out.”
“How so?” I whisper.
“The man I was with, before Rich, he was,” she hesitates, “he was cruel. Cold. Liked to hurt people. Took pleasure in it. And I was his outlet. The person he would take all that rage out on until one day he left me out there, on the side of the road.” She blows out a long breath.
“Rich took me in. Showed me I could trust people again. I could trust him.”
“I’ve been broken before,” Loyal whispers, before swallowing, eyes blinking quickly, to quell the tears building, “or I thought I was broken. Vex helped me see that maybe I was just a little bent.”
Willa’s lip pulls up slightly. “Bent. I like that.” she murmurs.
“I was with a man who hurt me for a very long time. And I stayed. Longer than I should have.” I say, eyes on Kit laughing at something Annie-Bella is showing her and her half sisters.
“What made you stay?” Loyal asks in her soft voice.
“I stayed because I was stupid. So stupid. So dumb.”
Willa’s hand lands on mine, squeezing hard, the pinch breaking me out of my spiralling thoughts.
“Not stupid, sweetheart, and not dumb. Men like our exes, they prey on women who have hearts full of love to give.” Momma pats my knee.
She’s right. Travis did prey on me just like her man preyed on her and Willa’s and Loyal’s.
“How did you get past that?” I whisper. “Past the self doubt and the second guessing that you’re doing the right thing? How did you trust yourself to open up to another man, someone who could hurt you?”
“Oh, sweetheart, Reid would never hurt you.”
“I know he wouldn’t. I just, -”
“You want to be with him but you’re scared,” Loyal guesses, tipping her head slightly. “Scared to hurt, or scared to let yourself hope?”
“Hope?” I ask in a whisper.
“Hope that it will work out this time. That this time the love is real. All consuming. Safe.” I turn to look at Loyal, understanding written all over her face. “Hope, Joy. Let yourself hope.”
“It seems crazy to think things can get even better. What he’s given me already is so much.”
“And there is so much more,” Chewy butts in. “I have lined up a series of weapons and we are all going to learn how to use them. I will also be giving a run down on the top 5 rules on how not to be murdered by an assault team.”
Chewy shoves goggles and gloves my way before running an eye over all us formerly bent women and nodding once.
“Chop, chop ladies. We got shit to attack.”