Chapter Not Today, At Least #9
There’s a shift in the bed and, when he opens his eyes again, Robert hovers above him. His forearms bracket Matt’s head, his knees on either side of Matt’s hips.
He smiles, caught. “Hey.”
“Hello.”
“Can I kiss you?”
Matt nods slowly. He’s not sure he’ll be any good—he’s out of practice, after all—but he’s willing to learn again.
It helps that Robert’s a good teacher.
When he leans in and closes his eyes, Matt does as well. When he’s only a breath away, Matt inhales him. It still tastes familiar, after all these years.
When Robert presses his lips against his, Matt remembers what to do next.
It starts as a solid pressure, but Matt relaxes and lets Robert lick his way past the seam of his mouth. He welcomes the intrusion, dancing with his tongue before pushing past Robert’s lips and exploring.
Robert’s arms are busy holding himself upright, but Matt’s hands are free to wander, to map out the body changed by time. His deltoids, his biceps—everything is so much bigger, so much more toned than his memory of him is.
Robert shifts his weight to one side and cradles Matt’s jaw with his free hand. As Matt’s tongue gains more confidence, more control, Robert’s feather light touch travels downwards. He grazes over Matt's neck, peeking under the fabric of his shirt to trace his collarbone.
Matt shivers with it and breaks from the kiss to gasp.
“Sorry.” Robert’s breath is warm, inches from Matt’s mouth. “I got—got carried away. We can go slow.”
“I don’t need slow.” Matt surges up and captures Robert’s lips again, his fingers tightening around his golden locks, pulling him closer.
“Nmmph!”
Robert loses his balance and falls, his body crashing down against Matt. The sudden weight spurs him on, and Matt rocks up with the motion of their mouths.
He’s painfully hard, but there’s no room to be embarrassed this time. Robert thrusts his own hardening cock against his hip, his freed hands searching, grasping, pulling Matt closer.
They’re teenagers again, giddy in their excitement. It’s all new, but it’s all familiar. Now that the dam has finally broken, there’s frantic hunger in their touches.
Robert breaks away and asks, “Can I—?”
“Yes!” Matt says, chasing his mouth again. “Whatever you want. Please!”
Robert sits upright. Before Matt can complain, he grabs the back collar of his shirt and pulls it over his head, tossing it onto the floor.
Time has been kind to Robert. Even kneeling in a bed, he’s more cut than he has any right to be. Defined abs, pecs, and even that stupid little V in his hips that no real human man has.
Matt reaches out, trailing a light finger down the bumps of his muscles. “You’re unreal.” Anyone with half a brain can tell Matt has nothing exciting hiding under his clothes. “That’s so fuckin’ infuriating.”
“Your turn.”
“I shoulda gone first.” Matt shimmies his shirt off and drops it next to his side of the bed for later. “You set the bar too high. Now I’m just—” He gestures down to his more-average athletic male body.
“Well, yeah.” Robert snorts as he unfolds his too-long legs and hops off the bed. “Be weirder if you became some bodybuilder overnight.”
“Overnight? Is that what we’re calling nine years?”
“Our ice baths are right next to each other.” Robert rifles through Matt’s luggage without asking. It’s like they’ve fallen back in time. “I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve looked.”
Matt flushes when he answers, “I never looked.”
“Yeah, cause you’d just get hard.” There’s something frustratingly refreshing about his confidence.
“Difficult to do in an ice bath.”
“You’re very difficult.” Robert makes an excited noise and holds up his prize, a bottle of lube. “Now, where are your condoms?”
“I don’t have condoms.”
“You don’t have condoms?” Robert finally turns away from the suitcase, his head cocked to the side with a questioning tilt. “None?”
There's no reason for him to. “I don’t mind going without.”
“You don’t mind barebacking?” Robert huffs when he stands up again, though Matt’s not sure why. “When was the last time you were tested?”
“I dunno, we get tested for stuff all the time.”
“Stuff? You’re not interested in your STI panel?”
Matt saw one a couple of years ago, but there was nothing of note. “I’m pretty sure I’m fine.”
Despite the reassurance, Robert just looks more puzzled. “When was the last time you had sex?”
“Recently,” Matt lies. He’s not even sure what ‘recently’ means when it comes to sex. Who knows, maybe a decade is recent.
“Not more recently than your last STI panel?”
Matt shakes his head.
“But, surely, more recently than nine years ago?”
He hesitates, but Matt shakes his head again.
“Teo, I need you to be completely honest with me. Was I the last person you had sex with?”
Matt closes his eyes before he nods. He doesn’t need to see—he already knows what judgment looks like on Robert’s face.
“Jesus.” The bed dips when the bigger man sits. “Nobody?”
“Well, I’d hardly call you a nobody.” Joking makes everything easier to stomach, right? “I mean, you’re like, the most famous guy I know.”
Robert doesn’t look at him. He toys with the cap of the bottle of lube, popping it open and clicking it back shut.
“Are you alright?” Matt’s not exactly sure what he did wrong, but Robert is definitely not as animated as he just was.
Open, closed, open, closed. Then, Robert sighs. “I just—maybe we should wait.”
“You want to wait?” Matt deflates with disappointment.
“I didn’t realize you were nearly a virgin. We should wait. Try to make it special for you.”
Despite the seriousness of the conversation, a guffaw bubbles out of Matt.
“What?” Robert finally looks up from the bottle.
“You’re such a country boy!” Matt can’t help but cackle even louder. “You want to make it special because I’ve had sex less times than you? Give me a break.”
Robert sputters, but Matt steamrolls him.
“How many times do I need to be fucked until I’m not a virgin anymore? Three times? Six? Jesus, Bobby. I’m a man, not some swooning damsel.”
“Oh yeah? Forgive me for caring.”
“If you were paying any attention, you’d realize it’s been me and my hand for the past nine years. Could you go without sex for a decade? For most of your twenties?”
“I wouldn’t be stupid enough to try!”
“Here you are, in my room, looking like a goddamn porn star and grinding on me with your super hard cock—which is something I dream about like, weekly, by the way—but you want me to wait until there are rose petals?!”
Oops, that might’ve been too much.
They stare at each other in silence until Robert turns away, clearing his throat.
“You know what? Fine.” There’s a slight flush dusting Robert’s cheekbones when he stands and drops his sweatpants. The only thing more enticing than his bare ass is his dick, which is still hard enough to bob up when it’s released.
Do dicks grow? It looks a lot bigger than Matt remembers. “Whoa.”
“You don’t want it to be special, so it’s not special.” Under the bravado, Robert still seems slightly embarrassed. “What are you waiting for? Get naked.”
Matt’s brain needs a second to reboot before he scrambles to get his shorts off. His erection may have flagged while they argued, but it’s more than interested in this turn of events.
“How do you want it?” Robert jerks his dick as he talks. The leaking red head disappears in the circle of his fingers with every other pull. It’s mesmerizing.
“How do you want it?”
“The guy who hasn’t bottomed in a decade gets first choice.” Robert stops to pour more lube into his working hand. He grips himself again and the lube glistens along his member.
“Um…” Any time Matt imagined it, it’s just like the first time. “On my back?”
“Missionary? Classic.” Robert releases himself with a wet pop before he disappears and a beam of blinding light spills from the bathroom.
It’s okay.
Matt’s done this before—in this position, with this person—and he knows what to expect.
He lays himself out gingerly and twists his hips in something he hopes looks alluring. Seductive. Titillating.
They’re not words that have ever been associated with either Matthew or Mateo Hernandez, and they fit about as well as clothing at Christmas.
Still, he poses.
The bathroom light clicks off again, plunging the room back into darkness, and Matt blinks until his eyes adjust. Squinting, he watches a standing figure stop dead with a thunk and a low curse.
“Suitcase?”
“Stubbed my fuckin’ toe.” Robert drops his haul on the bed, and the faint scratch of towel fibers swipe past Matt’s leg. “Okay, lift your hips for me?”
Matt does so with uneasiness churning in his stomach. When Robert guides him back down, his ass is propped up higher than the rest of him. “We didn’t do this before.”
“Learned a few new tricks since then.”
“Um, okay.” Matt hasn’t, his experience is still frozen in time.
A part of him thought his sacrifice was commendable. Matt liked that there was something he could point to and say, ‘This is proof that racing is the most important thing in my life.’ It grounded him, somehow.
Now, he’s bare naked with his hairy ass hoisted above his head and nothing but outdated data about what will happen next.
Robert settles himself between Matt’s splayed legs and looks up. “You still okay?”
“Yeah, of course.” Matt made fun of Robert for trying to take it slow. He’s not going to back down now. Still, his shaky voice betrays him.
“I’ve got you.” Robert’s large, rough hands settle on Matt’s thighs. His calloused palms rub comforting circles into the sensitive flesh. “We can stop at any time, okay?”
Matt nods and tries to swallow his uncertainty.
“Alright.” Robert’s hands drift upwards, closer and closer to Matt’s core. “I want you to take a deep breath for me, okay? In, first. Breathe in.”
Okay, this is it. He’s going to be fucked. Matt’s entire body tenses as he takes a shuddering inhale.
He’s done this before and it barely even hurt.
“Good, Teo. You’re doing great. Now, out for me.”