Chapter Nine
Emma took a sip of coffee and gazed out the big kitchen window. The sky was a cloudless blue, the deeper tone of the Pacific sparkled beneath the sun. Another perfect day in paradise, she thought, drinking in the view as she savored her coffee.
Glancing at the clock, she saw it was almost nine o’clock. At noon, Virginia time, she planned to call David to refuse his proposal as gently as she could from three thousand miles away.
Nervous, she sipped again. It would be awkward, and a bit sad.
They’d been friends for so long. He took her to poetry readings at the university.
She’d gone with him to parties the Masons put on.
They’d shared meals, gone to the movies, played tennis at the local country club.
Been a couple since she returned from college. It had been a nice, quiet relationship.
A bit predictable.
A bit dull.
She sighed. It wasn’t his fault she yearned for more. Why wasn’t she content with what she had? What if there were no knight in shining armor for her? What if David ended up being the only man to ask her to marry him?
Flicking another glance at the clock, Emma wished she could delay, but putting it off wouldn’t change her feelings.
“Even if he is the only man to ever propose to me, I don’t want marriage with David,” she said aloud. “It wouldn’t be fair to him or me.”
The clock reached nine.
She put down her cup and reached for the phone, dialing the familiar number.
“Dr. Hargrove’s office.”
“Is David around? This is Emma Carter,” she said, gripping the receiver tightly.
There was a noticeable pause. Then, “Hold on, please.”
Puzzled, Emma wondered who answered the phone. It hadn’t been Mattie Tomlinson, his receptionist. Emma knew her voice.
“Hi, Emma. How are you?” David’s warm, friendly voice came across the line.
“David, I’m fine. I...”
Now that the time arrived, she wasn’t sure what to say.
“Having fun?” he asked.
He hadn’t understood her wish to visit her sister, especially before giving him an answer to his proposal.
“Yes. Yes, I am. David...I hope this isn’t a bad time to call you.”
“No, it’s the lunch break. I don’t have another patient until one-thirty. Stacey and I were getting ready to eat.”
“Stacey?” The hygienist? “Where’s Mattie?”
“Gone for lunch, did you want to speak to her?”
“No, David. Actually, I called to talk to you.” Emma cleared her throat. “I’ve thought about your proposal. But I can’t marry you,” she blurted.
Then closed her eyes in frustration. That wasn’t the way she wanted to approach the subject. So much for finesse, for finding a kind way to reject his offer.
“Found someone else in California already?” he asked slowly.
Logan’s image danced before her eyes. Rapidly Emma shook her head.
“No. No, there’s no one else. I’ve been thinking about us. I don’t think I’m ready for marriage, not yet.”
And not with you.
“We don’t have to get married right away.”
“No, David. It wouldn’t work.” How could she explain without hurting him? “I’m sorry. I count you as one of my best friends, however,. I don’t see us married.”
“Why don’t we wait until you get home and discuss it?” he asked reasonably.
Hesitating, Emma shook her head slowly, then realized he couldn’t see her.
“No. I don’t want you to think I’m going to change my mind. You’re a nice man, David. Find someone who will love you more than anything.”
“I love you, Emma.”
“I love you, too, but as a friend. Not as a...a lover.”
She never pictured herself in bed with David.
They’d shared a few kisses, nothing more.
Yet since meeting Logan Beckett, she had no trouble imagining his kisses leading to much more—like touching her, caressing her, stripping her clothes from her body and following her down on a mattress where he’d make long, slow love to her for endless, wonderful hours.
She shivered. She shouldn’t think about that, she was on the phone with David.
“I still think this is a bit sudden.”
“I’ve been thinking about it since you proposed. And I’m sure I won’t change my mind. Thank you for asking me. I will hold it as a happy memory in my heart.”
“Come see me when you get back,” he said.
“Of course. I want to stay friends. Though I know we won’t be as close as we’ve been. I understand that. But I cherish your friendship. Take care.”
Emma hung up the phone, feeling a mix of relief and guilt.
He was a nice man. He deserved a woman who thought the sun shone out of him. Not a shy librarian who longed for more adventure and excitement in her life than he could provide.
Taking her cup to the sink to rinse it, Emma looked over at Logan’s house. There was no sign of activity. Had he left for work hours ago? Or was he still sleeping, trying to catch up? She wondered if he’d think about her today.
Though why should he? To him she was simply the same next door neighbor he’d known for a couple of years. A day spent together on the beach wasn’t out of the ordinary enough to cause speculation.
Yet he’d kissed her.
From what he’d said, he had never kissed Lily.
He seemed puzzled that there was any attraction.
And reluctant to pursue it when she’d protested.
Last night, she’d thought for sure he’d kiss her good-night when he stopped her from leaving his home.
Though he’d come close to her, he hadn’t kissed her.
Her heart raced at the memory of Logan standing so close.
Remembering the shimmering tingles that grew every time he came near, she wished she’d initiated a kiss. She should have been more daring, followed up on his suggestion.
Why couldn’t she be more adventuresome? Innate shyness might have a place when living in Charlottesville, but she was on the West Coast now, pretending to be her much more experienced twin. Time she spread her wings and tried for that glamorous life she yearned for.
Right. What was the first step? She hadn’t a clue.
But one thing was for sure, she didn’t plan to mope around her sister’s house waiting for something to happen.
She planned to stay in California for the next couple of weeks.
No time to waste mooning about a neighbor who’d had a free day on his hands and spent it with her.
Debating between shopping on Rodeo Drive or driving along the coast, she opted for driving the flashy convertible. It’d be fun to explore the canyons of Malibu, then head north, to see more of costal California. If it rained one day, time enough then to go shopping.